12 - Taming Grace, Part One #3
He kissed me again and I sank my fingers into his shoulders, pulling him close.
I could smell his aftershave, rich and expensive, and half-recognized it from somewhere.
I buried my face into his neck and breathed him in, trying to inhale him whole, trying to capture this moment in amber so I could come back to it again and again and again.
I wanted to remember this, forever, the way it made me feel.
Cling to the feeling of submitting, of finally being the one who wasn’t in control for a change.
My pussy began to pulse with pleasure, and suddenly I was coming, hard – I let out a cry that echoed around the small space around us, and must have attracted the attention of people out there in the club.
Let them wonder – I wanted everyone to know about this.
“Fuck!” I cried out as the pleasure pulsed out from my center to consume me whole.
His cock was gorgeous, pistoning inside of me like he couldn’t stop, and every thrust sent a new wave of pleasure coursing through my entire system.
My body was trembling and I was grateful for his strength, for the sureness with which he was holding me in his arms. We were locked together, his skin against mine, his breath on my neck, his cock filling me.
It didn’t take long before I felt him find his own release deep inside me, his erection twitching as he filled me full of his seed – blocked by the condom, of course, but I wished I could have felt him breeding me completely.
I had never wanted to feel someone finish inside me before, but in that moment, I craved it, totally and utterly.
I was panting for breath, holding on to him for dear life...
And with that, just like always, the encounter was done with.
We detached from one another and returned to the night that we had been having; I snuck away back home, happy that I’d finally gotten what I had been looking for.
It had been a few weeks since I had last allowed myself something like that, and I swear I was starting to get withdrawals from it.
I cleaned up and went to bed, and instead of falling asleep, I laid there and stared at the ceiling above me.
Normally, after an encounter like that, I would feel completely and utterly sated and ready for a good night’s rest, but something about what had happened was nagging at me.
In a good way – it was already sticking out in my brain as something different, something special.
Whatever I’d shared with him, it had been bigger, better than anything I’d had before. And that was...confusing.
In fact, it was always a little confusing when I came back from an encounter like that one, regardless of whether it had been as incredible as that one or not.
I was meant to be a woman in total control of everything that happened in my life, wasn’t I?
A woman who ran her own business, and a successful one at that.
A woman who knew how the world worked and her place in it.
I held on to tight control every place I could, every way I could, except when it came to these encounters with these men – and that one, in particular. And it just didn’t make sense to me.
How did this fit with the woman I was meant to be?
If anyone at work found out the kind of stuff that I was getting up to in my spare time, they never would have taken me seriously again.
Hell, I wasn’t even sure that I took myself seriously, knowing what happened when I slunk off to those clubs and hooked up with those men and let them take utter and complete control of me.
But there was a release to it, a release that I craved when I didn’t get it in a while.
A relief, almost, as though I had been hanging on to keeping things just-so for too long.
But, at the same time, I felt like I was sinking into some other version of myself – no, not of myself, because there was no way that I could hold that in my head along with the version that ran the show at the office.
Like I had left my body and allowed it to be taken over by this submissive, sexual deviant who wanted nothing more than for a man to take control of her.
It went against everything I stood for. And it felt so damngood.
I tossed and turned for a long time that night, trying to fit the two pieces of myself together.
I wished I could have spoken to someone about this, but I had to be so careful with what I told anyone about myself – something like this getting out could be used by any number of my competitors to take me down and paint me as nothing more than a slut, and that was the last thing I needed.
As a woman in this industry, my reputation had so much to do with how I was perceived, and if anyone found out about this, it could tank my whole operation.
I woke early the next morning and looked at myself in the mirror as I got ready – there I was, back to being me again.
The real version of me, or at least the one I allowed other people to get a look at.
But, in some ways, it felt like I had left the real version of me back in that club, where I had given myself to that man so completely.
Maybe both of us could be the real versions.
I wasn’t sure. I touched a spot just below my lip that was slightly red, where his teeth had sunk into me the day before – I couldn’t go into work looking like that.
I quickly grabbed some concealer and applied it over the mark, covering myself up.
Even if we were both the real me, I couldn’t let the people I worked with know about it.
Not yet. We were incompatible, the lives we lived so different from one another’s that I knew they would never fit together.
I headed out to work a little earlier than I normally would have; I was already itching to get back home again, maybe even sneak out to the club once more and see if that guy happened to be there for a second night in a row.
Was he thinking about me? What was he doing right now?
Maybe he was heading out to his own office, the memory of me on his mind, the imprint of his teeth on my skin.
I made it to the office with a few minutes to spare before my first meeting of the day – we were welcoming in the new head of legal.
What was his name again? Sam? Sam something?
It would come to me. I would get the briefing before I went in there, and as long as I had the right name when I looked him in the eye, I would be happy.
I was the boss, anyway - I could get away with no knowing everyone’s names right away, couldn’t I?
That was my job. Had to give them someone to hate around here or else the whole ecosystem would fall apart.
My secretary, Annie, delivered me my coffee, and I headed down the stairs to go to the meeting room.
It was already half-full of the rest of the heads of departments, the ones who made a point to arrive early, I guess because they were under the impression that it impressed me.
I smiled and nodded my way around the room, taking my seat at the head of the table – I could have perched myself anywhere, but I liked being able to see the whole room.
“Okay, so we’ve got the new head of the legal department coming in today,” I reminded everyone as I opened the folder in front of me and cast my eye down over the minutes. “So if we could all just...”
My heart stopped. My mind froze. I stared at the face in front of me. That man – I knew him. He was the man from last night. My eyes slid over to the note next to his grinning visage. There was no way. There was no way-
“Oh, here he is now!” Karen, one of the department heads, drew my attention to the door.
And I looked up, and saw the man who we had just hired standing before me – the man who we would be working with for the foreseeable future.
And the very same man who had fucked me senseless in a bathroom stall the night before.
The two sides of myself came crashing together, impossible to keep apart, as he met my gaze.
Oh, this was going to be something, all right.