21 - Surrendered #2
I guess you should hear my whole story. I got into this when I was a teenager, reading stories and stuff.
It always spoke to something inside me, but it was so extreme I worried that people weren’t going to understand.
I kept it to myself. I used to hide under the bed and scroll through the stories late at night, and I would never share them with anyone.
Then I got with my first boyfriend. It was just a high school thing, and so we took our time getting to know each other.
When we were finally ready to, you know, do it, I thought I should bring up what I wanted.
I wasn’t quite sure how to go about it, though.
I didn’t just want to blurt it out. So, I brought it up as a bit of a joke, saying that I had come across a post on the internet about it.
He made this disgusted face and treated it as something horrible.
He went on this rant that anyone who was into that stuff should be put into a mental institution.
Obviously, that didn’t make me feel great, and so I didn’t tell him that I was into that.
I just didn’t say much of anything really.
I take it that relationship didn’t last long? he asked.
No. I felt so ashamed of these thoughts and his reaction warned me against doing the same thing with other guys.
So, I told myself that if it happened, then it was going to happen naturally, and if another guy brought it up, then I would happily say that I was into it, as well, but I wasn’t going to make the first move.
But Will was the only one who I felt comfortable sharing these desires with.
We got a little drunk, and it slipped out.
I guess I was tired of waiting. But now, well, I don’t feel as ashamed, but it’s still not nice to have someone walk out straight after sleeping together.
It’s just a part of the risk of being in this lifestyle, he typed.
You’ve been in it for a while then?
Fifteen years.
Wow, you must have done so much!
I’ve met a number of incredible people, yes, and I’ve had some very fulfilling relationships. They’ve all been different, though, and they’ve all had different degrees of experience.
I hope you don’t mind that I don’t have much in the way of practical experience.
Not at all. I’m a good teacher. I’m only sorry that you haven’t been able to express yourself properly yet. Although, at least you haven’t encountered anyone who has tried to take advantage of your deviant desires.
Does that really happen?
Oh yes. Unfortunately for some women, their need to be submissive leads them to making some poor choices because they respond to any kind of dominance.
I don’t blame them, though. It is hard to have this need within you and feeling unable to express it.
It’s as though we live in a shadow world. I felt the same way once.
You did?
‘h yes, there was a time before I was involved in the lifestyle. I was a little bit like you, I suppose. although I wasn’t aware of BDSM while you were.
But I did have a number of relationships that didn’t quite feel right, and I couldn’t put my finger on the reason why.
I knew there was something wrong, but because I couldn’t get to the bottom of it, I was never able to make a relationship last. There was always something unsatisfying about it, and they ended up petering out.
It was only when I was in my mid-twenties that I discovered BDSM.
After that, my life changed. So, you shouldn’t feel too bad.
You’re still younger than I was when I first became a Dom.
I suppose that put things into perspective. For a long time, I had felt as though I was behind schedule, but I guess it was just because I had gotten into things so early.
He continued typing.
It was strange at first. I felt as though I had discovered this completely different world, and that I was a completely different person.
I was hiding this side of me from my friends, my family, and my colleagues because I knew they would never have understood, and I truly longed to explore these desires.
It felt as though I finally knew who I was, that I could actually be at peace with myself.
I understood the inner workings of my soul, and I had never been happier.
After that, I never looked back. The internet was in its boom, and I found some communities that had like-minded individuals.
I researched the lifestyle and learned plenty.
Eventually, I had my very own submissive.
And that’s just continued over the years.
It sounds amazing. I’d love to say that I could have my first Dom.
I tried with Will, but in a way, it felt as though I was the Dom.
I had to teach him and guide him, so it didn’t really feel as though I gave up control.
That’s all I really want, a man who knows what he’s doing, a man to take me and …
… use you and abuse you like the desperate little slut you are.
Well, I’ve got good news for you, Millie.
From the first moment we started talking, I knew you were the type of submissive that appeals to me.
You’re gorgeous, you have curves in all the right places, and I love that mischievous twinkle in your eyes.
I also like a girl who is willing to learn.
An open mind is one of the most attractive qualities.
It was as though a switch had been flicked with me. Suddenly, the mood of the conversation had changed. I felt this electric jolt pass through me, one that I couldn’t deny.
I definitely have that … as well as other open things that you might be interested in.
Indeed, your sweet mouth looks like it was made to choke on Dom cock. I bet you’d look absolutely perfect in your rightful place.
And where is my rightful place, Sir? My fingers hovered over the phone before I typed that last word. It was a mark of honor and one that I was not going to give out lightly, but it felt natural to call him this. It felt right.
Good slut for showing me the proper respect. Your rightful place is on your knees with your hands in your lap and your mouth hanging open, ready to service me.
As soon as he sent this, I began twitching inside.
The hot, molten core of me simmered, and I was pushed on the edge of ecstasy.
His typed words had such a huge effect on me, and I knew in that moment that I wanted to be his.
I just hoped he wanted the same thing. I wanted to serve him, to be used by him, to have him guide me and teach me how to be the perfect submissive slut.
We should meet, he typed then proceeded to give me details of a bar downtown and a time. He didn’t even ask me if I was already busy. Then again, even if I had plans, I would have canceled them all for him. A Dom had to be the priority.
Make sure you wear something pretty for me, was the last thing he said to me for the night.
I was too excited to sleep.
***
I suppose I should have been wallowing in heartache after Will and I had broken up the previous night, but I had been given a new lease on life with MasterB.
My mind was euphoric and I could not wait to see him.
I spent the entire day rummaging through my closet to pick out the perfect outfit.
I wanted something that was slutty enough, but not something that would make every man drool over me. I only wanted to dress for him.
I eventually settled on something that I hoped he would like.
I wore black cycling shorts that wrapped around my thighs and hourglass waist, while wearing a colorful top that had tassels dangling around my hips.
It was cut in a way where it exposed one shoulder and came slashing down my chest, showing off a hint of my cleavage.
It also left an angle of my midriff exposed.
I hoped that he would like this display of flesh and that it would tempt him to want more.
He was a man of experience, who had taken many subs to bed before me.
I hoped that I did not pale in comparison to the others.
The final thing I added to my outfit was a choker around my neck, a sign that I was already taken. I went there fully believing that I was going to be claimed by him. There was nothing I wanted more in the world.
I headed to the bar and waited there. My fingers drummed against a table and my leg jerked with nerves.
Every time the door swung open, I glanced up, breathless with anticipation to see him, always disappointed when it turned out to be someone else.
It was as though he was teasing me already.
Then I looked up and a silhouetted figure was standing there.
The fine hair on the back of my neck prickled and itched.
He stepped forward into the light and I knew it was him. He was glorious. So tall, powerful, every step suggesting his might. It was as though the world bent around him and he could have taken it all in his fist and squeezed the life out of it.
I rose from my table, my gaze locked on him. He came up to me and smiled. His gaze fell upon me.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Millie,” he said. His voice was a low rumble, making my heart quake.
I gulped and nodded. I was almost too afraid to look at him, as though he was the radiant sun.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too, Sir,” I said.
“I see that you did as I asked. Why don’t you twirl and let me get a good look at you,” he said.
I did as he asked, turning slowly. He made a soft murmur of approval, and I was glad that he liked what he saw.
He took my hand and guided me to sit again.
His flesh was warm, and I could feel the intent of his touch.
I waited there as he got a drink then returned.
Every movement of his was graceful, elegant, and deliberate.
It was as though he did exactly what he intended and nothing more, and from him, I got the sheer sense of control.