8. Chapter 7
Chapter 7
Hudson
I purposely make a beeline for the shower the second I enter the house after my run. I even go so far as to pretend to be on a phone call when I come in from the garage and poke my head into the living room from the kitchen. I don’t expect Finn to call me out on whatever that was between us in the kitchen earlier, but I can’t believe how close I was to kissing her. Again. It’s like, ever since that night at Christmas, every thought of her as just my best friend is…gone.
Paige is sitting crisscross on the couch, watching something on TV, her back to me. She’s alternating between blowing on her nails and waving her hands in the air to dry her fingernail polish. Finn sits next to her, curled into her usual spot, with her Kindle propped on her bare knee as she sips a glass of red wine. She’s wearing another pair of spandex shorts and the faded NYU hoodie she stole from my closet last Christmas. She looks up and smiles when she sees me.
She’s unwound her hair from her braid, and all that silky, dark hair cascades over her shoulders. I want to run my fingers through it, breathe her in, and kiss her like I imagined doing at the dinner table. With my daughter sitting two feet away.
Instead, I wave before heading upstairs.
Like a fucking coward.
I can’t seem to stop thinking about how it would feel to actually be together. As a couple. Would she come home from the B her head thrown back as she comes; her riding my cock on the couch; perfect tits bouncing in my face; and then, her on her knees for me again, but in the shower right here with me. Her big, brown eyes and water-soaked lashes, while my moans mix with her desperate whimpers.
The little sound she let out when I kissed her all those months ago is starting to fade from memory. It both pisses me off and calms me—if for no other reason than I shouldn’t be entertaining how she sounds when her lips are against mine. All I can do now is imagine her little moans and pants, and her eyes tearing up as I hit the back of her throat.
“ Fuck ,” I grit out, while gripping my cock, jerking harder and faster, before my jaw goes slack and my orgasm crests. I’m a sick bastard, but I can’t stop until I’m panting and hot cum is shooting out of me all over the tile at my feet.
I slow my hand, working myself through one of the most intense orgasms I’ve had in a while. My chest heaves and I drop my head forward onto the cold tile wall. Something that feels a hell of a lot like shame heats my neck as I watch the water go down the drain and my breathing evens out. This isn’t even the first time I’ve jerked off while thinking of her. But it is the first time I’ve done it while living in her house, while she’s downstairs, taking care of my daughter. So much for getting my shit together.
I shut off the water with more force than probably necessary and wrap a towel around my hips. This is bad. We’ve only been back three days, and I’m already half hard every time she comes into the room. Even now—after coming so hard I almost saw stars—I know it wouldn’t take much to get me hard again. What the hell made me think this was a good idea, us living together?
I just need space. And I need to work. That’s all this is. Once I am out of the house every day and not surrounded by all of her things—all of her smells—it’ll be easier.
Jesus , I hope this gets easier.
My phone dings on the bathroom counter and I pick it up.
Jameson: Wanna play a game and watch a movie after Paige goes down? I’m feeling lucky, punk.
I groan and put the phone back down, dragging a hand through my wet hair. Finn’s been trying to beat me at chess since we were eighteen. Every time we get together, we end up playing at least one game. We even played online sometimes when we are in different states. We’re both a couple of shit talkers, and it’s always a good time. But tonight, I don’t know if I can handle being that close to her after the whole pickle debacle. I already feel weird having just jerked off while thinking about her.
But it’s only eight, and I can’t hang out in my room until I fall asleep. That’d be even more weird. She would absolutely come into my room and want to talk about what is bothering me.
Images of her in those little shorts and my sweatshirt crawling into bed with me, hoping to talk flit through my mind. I would abso-fucking-lutely not be able to stop thinking about what she has on underneath. I already can’t.
I swipe the condensation off the mirror and brace my palms on the cool countertop, studying my face. I just need a pep talk.
“You can do this, asshole. You can spend an hour so or across from your best friend, playing a quick game of chess, and not lose your mind. Put something bloody and action-filled on the TV and it’ll be fine ,” I say to my reflection .
I pull up the texting app and reply to Finn, letting her know that I’ll be down shortly. Then, I click out of our messages and into the group message I have with my brothers. I especially love to annoy Hank with it, since he just got a smart phone and has zero desire to learn how to use it. It’s fucking hilarious, because even though he could leave the group message, he doesn’t know how.
Hudson: I need something to do. You guys need any help with anything
Hutch: I gotta piss. You can hold my cock
Hudson: I’m serious fucker
Hutch: Help Finn, dipshit. She’s running herself ragged running Timber Haven all by herself
Hudson: I will if she’ll let me. You still want to rebuild that dock
Hutch: Yeah. Got some other shit you can help with out at Hank’s place too
Hudson: Wednesday good?
Hutch: Bring coffee
Hank: Plenty of shit to do around the ranch but you’ll get dirty Snowflake
Hudson: So you are alive. Also fuck off I can get dirty
Hank: We’ll see. Quick talking about your cock Hutch no one cares
It makes me feel better knowing my brothers have something for me to focus my attention on. Leaving the bathroom, I dress in a clean pair of joggers and pull a T-shirt over my head, then pull on some socks and plug in my phone next to the bed.
When I get downstairs, Paige is half-asleep on the couch. Finn has already set up the chessboard on the coffee table and has the TV queued up to Netflix.
“Come on, Pip. Let’s get you into bed.”
“Ok, Daddy,” she says, threading her little arms around my neck as I uncover her and lift her into my arms.
She snuggles her face into my neck and rests her head on my shoulder.
“Goodnight, sweet girl.” Finn stands and runs a hand over Paige’s hair and back. “You want a beer, Huddy? I’m going to get more wine.”
I glance down at Paige to gauge how sleepy she is and if she’ll need a bedtime story. Her eyes are already closed. So, I nod at Finn and turn to the stairs. She doesn’t stir as I make it to the bedroom and get her under the covers.
Shutting the door behind me so that it’s barely cracked, I head back downstairs to find Finn on the couch. Her wine’s refilled and there’s a beer open and waiting for me next to the chessboard.
“She asleep?”
“Yeah, didn’t even wake up when I put her down.” I scrub a hand down my face and tip back my beer. “Thanks for doing her nails for her.”
“Oh, yeah. It’s no problem. I love having you guys here. Any time I can help, just let me know.” She smiles and scoots closer so she can reach the chessboard, her thigh right up against mine. It’s oddly comforting .
I nudge her knee with mine. “Speaking of help, is there anything I can do to help at Timber Haven for the fourth?” I lean forward and move my first piece—the king pawn—two spaces, then lean back into the cushions.
She takes a sip of her wine, then sets it down, glancing over her shoulder at me. “Nope. Between me, Allie, and Skye, we’ve got it handled. Besides, you and Paige just got back into town.” She moves her king pawn one space.
I lean forward and move another piece. “You work too hard. You’ve been going nonstop since we bought the place.”
“You’re one to talk.” She scoffs, but it’s playful. “Just because I have a completely full house for the first time, doesn’t mean I need help. And I’m taking the entire weekend off for our concert.”
“But I had to persuade you,” I counter. There’s a 90s rap and country mashup band we’ve been obsessed with for years. This is the first year they’ve come to Montana in five years, and we’ve had tickets for six months.
She lets out a sardonic laugh. “You basically threatened me with my life.”
I shoot her a wry smile. “Dramatic much?”
“Pushy much?” she throws back, then grins. “It’s going to be epic .”
I move another piece on the board and lean back into the cushions. “At least show me the ropes sometime. I might be a silent partner, but knowing how shit works day-to-day could be helpful. What if you’re sick one day? I could help if I knew what to do.”
“Ok.” She taps her lip as she studies the board. “But only one day. And don’t make a habit of helping.” She points a finger at me, bossy as all get-out. “I started this business so I would have something that’s mine . And you came home to spend more time with Paige, not to get wrapped up helping me keep my life together, silent partner .”
“Deal.” I crack a grin at her. “Now, you ready to get your ass handed to you again?”
“You’re going down, Huddy buddy.” She moves her knight, then leans back with a smirk.
Forty-five minutes later, my sides hurt from laughing and I am still undefeated.
“I swear to God, you cheat.” She huffs and shoves my shoulder before she resets the board, and I finish off the handful of popcorn left in my bowl.
“You’re such a sore loser,” I say with a laugh and stand to clean up the bowls, two empty beer bottles, and her wine glass.
“You probably did something to the board while I was making the popcorn.” She narrows her eyes at me, and I shake my head at her.
She always does this. Promises to kick my ass, and then when she loses, accuses me of something shady. She likes to give me shit, and I love giving it back. It’s what makes us such good friends.
“I told you to take a picture of it before you went into the kitchen. It’s not my fault you trust me.”
She blows a raspberry at me, but there is no malice in it because she knows there is no way in hell I cheated.
“One of these days, I will kick your ass.” She cocks a brow at me. “And you’ll be knocked right off that high horse you’re riding around on.”
I’m still laughing when I take the dishes into the kitchen, loading the bowls and her glass into the dishwasher. “I’ll be patiently waiting for the day hell freezes over.”
I watch her as she stands up and stretches, and I’m rewarded with a view of her tight, little ass as she reaches her arms above her head. I drag my eyes back to the dishwasher, and since it’s full of dinner dishes, I continue to avert my eyes by adding detergent before starting it.
“I’m heading up. Leave this board out. I want a rematch tomorrow night.”
“Sure.” I chuckle .
She gathers her Kindle and slips her feet into her purple, fuzzy slippers, before coming around the couch and into the kitchen to stand next to me.
“Night, cheater,” she says and wraps an arm around me from the side.
Against my better judgment, I lean down and press a kiss to the top of her head. I try not to be too obvious when I inhale the sweet scent of her hair.
“Night, whiner,” I tease, and she smacks me in the stomach.
“Thanks for dinner,” she says around a yawn and heads back through the living room.
She’s a little wobbly when she hits the third step on her way upstairs. “You all right?” I call after her.
“Yeah, just a little dizzy. Probably the wine.” She waves my concern off and continues up the stairs.
Crossing back to the couch, I grab the remote and switch it over to ESPN. While watching highlights, I fold up the blanket Paige used earlier and stack a few of her coloring books up and drop a handful of crayons into the bucket.
I’ll need to talk to her in the morning about putting her stuff away. She’s only six, but she knows how to clean up after herself. It’s probably because her nails were wet, but I want her to have respect for other people’s spaces. Even if Finn wouldn’t mind a mess or two.
Fifteen minutes later, my eyes are starting to get heavy from the two beers I had during our game. I shut off the TV and put the remote back into the drawer of the coffee table. Moving around the space, I double-check the front door is locked, put water into the coffee pot, and set it brew at 4 a.m., when I know Finn will get up and get ready for the day. I shut off all the lights and climb the stairs barefoot.
Finn’s door is closed, and I peek in on Paige before stepping back into the hall, leaving the door cracked. I’m halfway through the door to the guest room when I hear a low whine .
I freeze and back out into the hallway, my brows furrowing. I’m sure the sound came from Paige’s room. She hasn’t had a nightmare in months, but the move could be triggering something for her. I seriously hope not. I hate it when my little girl is hurting and I feel powerless to help.
I peek through the crack of her door, and I hear it again. This time, I can hear something else, too, and it isn’t coming from Paige’s room, but from Finn’s across the hall.
I take two steps in that direction and hear a muffled moan and the light sound of…buzzing.
Fucking hell .
I swallow hard, and I try— I swear to God, I try —to turn back and keep my feet from moving in the opposite direction. But I’ve already established I’m weak as fuck, and the thought of Finn masturbating literal feet from my room is something I cannot ignore. I stand completely frozen, just feet from her closed door, telling myself I am most definitely just making sure that she is ok after her dizzy spell on the stairs. And, without a doubt, simultaneously sealing my fate to hell.
I should go back to my room, leave her to it, and pretend I don’t know what is happening behind that door. But I don’t.
I can’t .
Instead, I stay put and wait with bated breath, hoping she can’t hear my footsteps on the floor outside her door.
She moans softly again, and the buzzing intensifies before she lets out another long, sexy as hell whimper. I jerk back from the door as if I’ve been burned. The buzzing stops and I realize I’ve just listened to my best friend getting off. If my cock wasn’t hard before—spoiler alert, it was—it definitely is now.
It’s quiet as I make my way back across the hall and gently close the door behind me. I scrub my hands down my face and flop down on the bed .
I stare up at the ceiling, willing my cock to listen to my brain and go the fuck down. Listening to her just now, it hits me. This could be construed as really fucking creepy if she finds out. If this is going to work long-term, I’ve got to set some clear boundaries with myself.
I sit up and my eyes land on the shower again. I yank off my T-shirt and kick off my sweats and underwear. Crossing to the shower, I turn it on as cold as it will go, then step under the spray and vow to put a stop to these feelings once and for all.