13. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Finnley
Town Square is within walking distance of my townhouse. So, while I finish getting ready, Hudson packs a small, soft-sided cooler bag with drinks. Once Paige is dressed, I fix her hair in two Dutch braids, finishing it off with two red and blue ribbons at the ends, and then we head out.
We stop at Timber’s Treats and Hudson grabs our pickup order he called ahead for, while Paige and I wait outside in the shade. I watch him go, thinking back to the bathroom. I could have sworn he was going to kiss me. He was so close, and I didn’t miss the way he couldn’t keep his eyes off my thighs. It made my nipples pebble in my shirt, and my breath hitched when he touched me.
What is happening to me?
Hudson emerges a couple minutes later with a BLT and salad for us to share. He shoots me a grin. “Nat says hey. My girls ready to go?” he asks, and a strange sort of pleasure swells in my chest. It’s not the first time he’s called us ‘his girls,’ but being here in our hometown and heading to a movie in the park like a happy family makes me smile. It’ll never be the case for real, but the thought is nice .
Paige pockets her magnifying glass, while I shoulder the cooler bag and carry the blanket with my other hand. “Yep,” she says and grabs Hudson’s free hand. “Oh, Daddy!” Suddenly so excited, she’s bouncing on her feet as she strolls along between us. “Can I ask Finnley now?”
Hudson shoots me a small smile, and then looks down at Paige with a nod. “Go ahead.”
“What’s up, sweet girl?” I ask, running a hand over her hair while we walk.
“There’s a Mommy and Me Day at my day camp in…” she trails off and looks up at Hudson. “When is it again, Daddy?”
“It’s actually not for a while, Pipsqueak. First week in September.”
Her brows crease. “But I’ll be in school then.”
Hudson nods and ruffles Paige’s hair. “It’s on a weekend, sweetheart.”
“Oh. Ok. So, I wanted to ask Mommy to go, but Daddy said she’s working and won’t be able to come.” She pushes her bangs out of her face, peering back up a me with big hazel eyes. “Can you go with me?”
My head snaps up and my eyes meet Hudson’s, her words hitting me right in the chest. I feel the prick of tears behind my eyes. I’m touched that she thought of me over all the other female influences she has—her grandma, her aunts, and even Wrenley, whom she adores. I can’t seem to swallow over the lump of emotion in my throat.
I reach for her hand, giving it a little tug, and stop walking to crouch down in front of her. “I would love that, Paige. Of course, I’ll go with you.”
She beams at me and claps her tiny hands before launching herself at me, wrapping her skinny arms around my neck. I sniffle back my emotions and my eyes lock on Hudson, who is standing above us. He gives me a half smile, and the look in his eyes is so intense it makes my limbs feel heavy and my chest tight. My stomach flip-flops and I take a deep breath, dropping my eyes back to Paige .
“We’re gonna have so much fun!” she says excitedly and launches into a laundry list of things the camp has planned for that day.
The three of us stroll down the American flag-lined Main Street. Businesses are decked out in patriotic colors and banners and flying their own flags. Pops of orange, yellow, and hot pink dot the sidewalks from large, potted zinnia and azaleas spilling over their sides. The sweet scent lingers in the air as we make our way to Town Square. The sun dips lower in the sky, bathing the town in that signature orange evening glow, and the cricket song starts.
The whole area is buzzing with locals and out-of-towners alike when we arrive for the movie in the park. They’re showing Lady and the Tramp , which happens to be one of Paige’s favorite Disney movies. Between Hudson’s insistence that the only cartoons worth watching are old school Tom and Jerry and The Looney Tunes Show —he’s not wrong—and his dislike for Disney princess movies, Paige has been raised on the classics.
When other kids her age are watching Bluey and Doc McStuffins , she’s watching reruns of Bugs and Daffy and quoting 101 Dalmatians . With one exception: the girl is Moana obsessed, as evidenced by the giant picture of Moana and Maui on her shirt.
As we approach, the giant gazebo in the center is decked out in red, white, and blue bunting and American flags. From one side, a large white screen has been erected.
“Daddy!” Paige exclaims, tugging Hudson’s hand and tilting her head back to look at him. “I see Grammy and Pop-Pop! Can I go to them?”
She points across the square, and sure enough, Duke and Emily are standing at the edge of the picnic tables. They’re talking to Trevor, who owns the local bar—Rowdy Roxy’s—and his wife Tanya, who is extremely pregnant. Their five-year-old daughter, Maisy, blows bubbles from a pink stick, while their three-year-old son, T.J., tries to catch them .
Hudson nods and releases her hand. “Go on. I’ll get your hot dog,” he says. He waves and catches his dad’s eye to make sure he sees Paige coming toward him.
The two of us walk side by side until we hit the hotdog stand. Hudson hands me our takeout containers, then fishes in his back pocket for his wallet. He orders Paige a hot dog and chips, while I gather napkins and a handful of ketchup packets. Afterward, we make our way over to where Duke and Emily are still chatting. Emily pulls me into a hug and Duke gives me a warm smile and a pat on the arm. Tanya and I exchange hellos, while Hudson extends a hand to Trevor.
“Hey, man. I hear you’re back in town to stay,” Trevor says, shaking Hudson’s hand.
“Yeah, looks like it.”
Tanya smiles before excusing herself and gathering her children. They wander off to their blanket, and so do Hudson’s parents.
“You sell the bar?” Trevor asks, squinting against the setting sun.
“I did.” Hudson nods as Paige comes up and takes my hand. “Thought I’d get this one closer to family.” He ruffles Paige’s hair.
“Just you two, then?”
“Yep!” Paige says, squinting up at Trevor. “Mommy left and went to dance in Paris. She’s a ballerina. She’s the prettiest one, too,” she says matter-of-factly. “Isn’t she, Daddy?” She doesn’t wait for him to answer, before jabbering on. “She’s going to love Timber Forge when she comes back."
I bite the inside of my cheek and slide a glance to Hudson, who doesn’t seem fazed by her commentary. Trevor’s gaze bounces back and forth between Hudson and his daughter, looking a little uneasy. I, however, grit my teeth and mentally punch Tristen in the face. I’ll never understand her leaving Paige. And Hudson. He was always so good to her. She never deserved him .
Hudson has tried to get Paige to understand that Tristen will never set foot in Timber Forge, let alone come back to them. But she insists it will happen one day. I’m not sure if he’s just given up hope on trying to make her see, or if he just doesn’t want to get into airing his dirty laundry in front of Trevor.
“Now, we live with Finnley.” Paige continues, turning her bright smile on me. I shoot her a wink and squeeze her hand.
Trevor smiles down at Paige, and then turns his attention back to Hudson. “You looking for work?” he asks, with a slightly sheepish smile.
Hudson looks surprised. “Maybe. You need some help?”
Trevor tips his head in the direction of his wife and kids, who are now settled on their blanket across the square. “I had to let a bartender go last night. Sticky fingers.”
Hudson shakes his head. “Anyone I know?”
“No.” He shakes his head once. “He was only here a couple of months.”
“Well, I’m happy to help until you can find someone more permanent.”
“That’d be great,” he says. “I’ve got some other stuff to run by you, too, if you’ve got some time?”
“Of course.”
Paige nudges Hudson. “Daddy, I’m so hungry,” she says with an apologetic look at Trevor.
Hudson nods and hands her the hot dog.
“We’ll go find a spot to sit,” I tell Hudson. Paige and I head off in the direction of the sea of blankets and lawn chairs. We pick a spot down from Trevor’s family, and after I get our blanket spread out, I help Paige open her water and chips.
“I forgot to do my insulin,” she says, and glances toward to where Hudson is still chatting.
“Can you do it yourself?” I ask .
She nods and unzips the little fanny pack around her waist and pulls out her insulin pump. “Where’s your pump? Don’t you need to do yours, too?” she asks with a tilt of her head, then glances at my arm. The edge of my monitor is barely visible.
“Already did it,” I tell her. It’s not a complete lie, just a bit of an omission. I did give myself a half dose before we left the house. I may not have a pump anymore, but my monitor still works. And sure, the pens are kind of a pain to carry around, but I make it work. Mostly.
“Can you help me with my ketchup, Finnley?”
“Of course.” I put three whole packets on it before she’s satisfied with the ratio of ketchup to hot dog and bun.
“You’re gonna turn into a tomato,” I tease and she giggles.
“I love you, Finnley,” she says before she turns her attention to her food and digs in.
A lump forms in my throat, my chest gets tight, and my eyes suddenly prick with tears. I blink a few times, while staring down at the top of her head. She’s told me she loves me before, but after her asking me to the Mommy and Me Day, it feels vastly different this time.
I clear my throat. “I love you, too, sweet girl.”
“Can I have a napkin?” Paige’s question pulls me out of my thoughts, and when she looks up, she’s got ketchup all over her face. It’s like a giant red smile.
I laugh with a sniffle. “Here you go,” I say, handing her one.
Soon after, Hudson comes striding across the grass. He pushes a hand through his hair as he sits, and I hand him half of the sandwich.
“Thanks,” he says, unzipping the cooler bag and passing me a water. “You could have started without me.”
“What’s the fun in dinner and a movie, if I eat without my other half?” I ask, uncapping my water and taking a drink .
His gaze finds mine and he huffs a laugh out his nose. Talking around a big bite of BLT, he asks, “Other half?”
“Well, yeah. Do you see any other dudes around here?” I shrug, glancing around as I take a big bite.
He stops chewing. With a hunk of sandwich stuck in his cheek, he looks around, eyes comically wide. “Actually, yeah, there are lots of dudes around here.”
I roll my eyes. “Oh, yeah,” I drag out the word. “Larry from the hardware store is looking superhot tonight, and Trevor… Well, he’s married. So, unless Tanya’s into sister wives, I’ll pass.” I continue my perusal of the crowd of locals, and take another bite before naming other married men, teenagers, and elderly men sitting with their wives and their grandkids. “Oh, and there’s Pop, but he’s also married and the closest thing I’ve ever had to a dad. So, ew .”
His shoulders shake with laughter. “There’s gotta be some guy in town with another animal name that you can hitch yourself to.”
I nearly choke on my saliva, sputtering out a half laugh, half cough. “Screw you.” I shove his shoulder lightly. My ex, Jeff, went by his middle name, but his legal name is Badger Jeffrey Boleslaus. There has never been a time when Hudson hasn’t made fun of it.
Hudson looks around again. “Guess Timber Forge isn’t the best place to pick up dudes, after all.”
“What does ‘pick up dudes’ mean, Daddy?” Paige asks, licking a drop of ketchup from the corner of her mouth and brushing the hair out of her eyes. She has ketchup everywhere . So much for that bath.
Hudson and I share an amused look before he says, “Nothing, Pip. Just finish your hot dog.”
“So, Trevor needs help at the bar?” I ask.
He nods, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “He needs a bartender, maybe more. ”
“Really?” Surprised, I glance over at him, then lick a glob of mayo off my index finger. Hudson’s eyes track the movement, then he quickly glances away before nodding.
“Yeah. He promised Tanya as soon as the baby comes, he’d take a couple of months off. Help her settle in with three kids.”
“Probably a smart idea. I can’t even imagine three kids,” I say, finding and watching Trevor and his family eating their dinner. His son is jumping up and down, somehow missing all the food on the blanket, and his daughter is flicking her mom with water from her water bottle. It looks like complete chaos over there, but both Trevor and Tanya look happy and perfectly relaxed, laughing at something their son is saying.
Hudson huffs out a laugh and says around a bite of food, “Can you imagine the fu—” He swallows his food with a glance at Paige, who didn’t realize he was about to cuss. “The questions? This one already talks my ear off as it is.”
I laugh. She certainly does.
“So, you gonna take it?”
He shrugs. “Maybe. I told him I’d come by the bar next week. I’ve gotta work out logistics for Paige. See if Mom and Pop, or one of my sisters can watch her a few nights a week. I’m sure it’ll require some weekends.”
I nod. “I can help.”
He glances at me and swallows a bite of food. “Yeah?”
I nod again. “Of course.”
“It won’t be too much after being at the B I’ve already done that before. We could paint our nails, play babies, and watch movies.
I look back to Hudson with another nod. “Yeah, I’d love to help.”
“Ok, cool,” he says with a smile that lights up my insides .
We fall into a comfortable silence while we finish our food, and Paige asks if she can go play with Maisy and T.J.
“Sure. Just stay where I can see you, ok?”
“Ok, Daddy.” She saunters away, Dutch braids swinging.
We sit for another few minutes, when Hudson nudges me with a shoulder. “You’re quiet tonight.”
I let out a little sigh and squint over at him, crumpling my napkin and bending my knees to wrap my arms around them. I rest my cheek on them. “Can I ask you something?”
He takes a swig from his water bottle and nods, pinning me with his soft, hazel gaze. “Always.”
“Do you think I’d be a good mom?”
His answer is immediate, and it has warmth spreading through my chest. He’s so sure, so resolute. “I think you’d be a great mom.”
Still, I twist my lips in a skeptical pout. “How do you know?”
His muscular shoulders lift in a shrug. “Well,” he says, recapping his water and resting his arms on his bent knees, “you’re great with Paige.”
I nod slowly, mulling over his words. “But that’s different, isn’t it? She’s not mine.”
He’s thoughtful for a minute, watching his daughter and then glances at me. “You love her though, right?”
Watching her, I nod and smile at something she does. Honestly, she does feel like mine. “Absolutely.”
He nods and then bumps my shoulder again. “Well, there you go, then.”
I smile at him. Has he always had those gold specks in his eyes? Why am I noticing that? I inhale deeply and let it out.
“What’s got you thinking about all that?” he asks, still studying me.
It’s my turn to shrug and I avert my eyes, resting my chin on my knees. “I don’t know. Seeing Tanya and Trevor like that, I guess.” I nod in their direction .
He follows my line of sight to see them snuggled up on the blanket. Trevor’s teasing her about something, rubbing a hand over her belly. She laughs, while their kids run around with Paige.
“Having you and Paige here, maybe.” I continue. “Feels good coming home to you two. Like a little family.” I chance a quick glance at him, judging his reaction.
“You’ll find someone.” He bumps me again. “And we’ll always be your family.”
My heart rate picks up at his words and longing takes flight in my belly. “Maybe,” I say and take a drink of my water. “But I’m not getting any younger.”
A wicked grin splits his face. “Maybe you’ll get lucky like Wren and have twins.”
Mid-sip of my water, I shake my head with a laugh. “That sounds terrifying. Besides, I’d have to actually be having sex to get pregnant. And, let’s face it, I’m a spinster at this point. Pretty soon, it’s gonna be mummified down there,” I declare dramatically, as Paige comes skipping back to the blanket.
Quiet laughter shakes his shoulders as he tips back his water bottle, arms still resting on his knees. The way his eyes take a slow sweep of my body turns my insides to mush. “I doubt that.”
“Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom,” Paige announces.
Hudson nods, moving to stand.
I set aside my empty food container and climb to my feet. “I’ll take her,” I say and grab Paige’s hand in mine.
“You sure?” he says, looking up at us both.
“I want Finnley,” she says, pulling my hand. “I really, really gotta go.” Her eyebrows pull down and she bites her little lip.
“I gotta go, too, anyway.” I crouch down and guide her around my back. “Hop up, and I’ll get you there quick,” I say, with a little nod to my back .
“Yes! I love piggyback rides!” She whoops and climbs on, wrapping her little legs around my hips.
“Just don’t pee on me,” I tease and Paige giggles. I wrap my arms around her legs and give her a little boost higher up my back. “Be right back.” I take off at a slow jog, weaving through the crowd of blankets.
When we come out five minutes later and head back toward the blanket, I can see Hudson talking with someone. I shield my eyes with the hand not holding Paige’s and squint.
It’s Erin Parker and her daughter, Jennie. Paige and Jennie are in the same class at day camp, and Paige’s been talking about her nonstop.
Erin works here in town as a physician’s assistant at the small health clinic on Main Street. Her dad, Henry, has been the town doctor for years. Erin had a huge crush on Hudson in middle and high school, and she even started calling herself his girlfriend at one point. Hudson never told her they were exclusive, but when he left for NYU, she was crushed.
I can hear Erin’s laughter ring out the closer we get to them. I stifle a laugh. By the way she’s looking at him, it’s clear she’s still obsessed. I can just imagine their conversation.
I brought you a cookie, Hudson. You look so handsome today, Hudson. Be my baby daddy, Hudson.
I snicker to myself. I am so giving him shit about this later.
“Jennie!” Paige squeals and drops my hand, running the rest of the way to her friend.
Erin’s gaze follows the sound and her eyes land on me. Her smile wavers a bit but stays in place, looking slightly annoyed. I wave and smile, knowing it probably pisses her off, just like it used to every time she saw Hudson and me together in high school.
“Hi, Finnley.” Her friendly tone sounds forced.
“Hey, Erin,” I say sweetly and walk around her to sit next to Hudson .
She scrunches up her nose like she smells something bad as she watches me, then seems to remember she was talking to Hudson before I came over. She holds up her phone and says, “Ok, I’m ready.”
Hudson looks wholly uncomfortable, but rattles off his phone number. He glances at me as she types it into her phone.
What is actually happening right now? They’re exchanging numbers?
“Great,” she says and turns up her smile. “I’ll send you a text.”
“Sounds good,” Hudson says.
I don’t know what makes me do it, but I reach across his lap and rest a hand on his thigh—dangerously close to his crotch—to grab a water bottle. I stop just shy of rubbing my tits on his lap. I can feel both their eyes on me, and Hudson leans back just a bit, giving me more room. I silently hope I’m not blushing, because my heart is pounding like crazy.
When I sit up, Erin’s watching me with narrowed eyes, and Hudson flicks his gaze to mine, a quizzical bend in his eyebrow. I glance over, then lightly brush his shoulder, before running my hand down his back. I let it linger a little before leaning back on my hands, just a bit closer to him, so our shoulders are touching.
Resting my head on my shoulder, I look up at Erin, trying to ignore the fire burning under my skin from touching him so freely out in the open. I want more. He shoots me another questioning look. He probably thinks I’ve lost my damn mind. Maybe I have.
“Oh, mosquito,” I lie, with a little smile, but grimace internally.
Am I jealous of Erin Parker? Nope. Just marking my best friend territory.
They talk a little more, and I pretend to study my nails. But the more she laughs, the more irritated I become. Can’t she see that we’re here together? I mean, we’re not together, together , but she really needs to take a hint and scram. He’s my best friend. She needs to find her own .
“Well, we’ll get back to our seats. But we’ll talk soon?” she asks Hudson, batting her eyelashes.
I’d laugh if I wasn’t irritated. She’s so blatantly obvious and I have to force myself not to roll my eyes.
“Yeah, absolutely.” His smile looks genuine. That bugs me even more than her ridiculous flirting.
When she walks away, I turn to him. “She still can’t take the hint, huh?” I nudge him with my shoulder.
He watches her go and shrugs. “She wants to get the girls together.”
My eyes leave him to follow her. “Maybe she could be your new friends with benefits girl,” I joke, expecting him to tell me to get bent.
But he doesn’t. When I look over at him, he’s still watching her walk away. And that makes my stomach sink.