20. Chapter 19
Chapter 19
Hudson
“I don’t want to go to the ranch today,” Paige whines, crossing her arms over her chest and pushing out her lip in a dramatic pout. She’s sitting crisscross on the floor of the living room, while Finn sits on the couch behind her to work her hair into two Dutch braids.
“You’ve been talking about making cookies and watching movies with Grammy and Pop-Pop for months,” I say.
Page doesn’t answer. I wiggle the knot in my tie back and forth in the mirror by the door, and I catch Finn watching me in the reflection. I throw her a wink and then run my hand down the beige and cream-colored, diagonally striped tie, before shrugging into my slim-fit, beige linen vest. It’s hot today, so I’ll forgo a jacket.
Finn looks around on the couch, while holding the end of one of Paige’s braids. “Shoot. Huddy, do you have a hair tie? I lost the little elastic.”
Paige frowns. “Those are yours.”
Finn casts a glance down at Paige, while I pull a hair tie off my wrist and hold it out to her.
“What are mine?” Finn asks .
“The hair ties Daddy keeps on his wrist,” she says, her eyes still fixed on the tv. “He has packs of them in his drawer.”
My stomach tightens, waiting for her reaction. How the hell did Paige know about those? I keep them clear in the back of a drawer under my wool winter socks.
Finn looks puzzled before her eyes sweep over to me. It’s a slow perusal from my feet up, almost like she’s questioning what she’ll find. When she finally makes eye contact with me, she tilts her head a little, as if she’s realizing the truth of Paige’s statement.
I hold the hair tie out to her, and I can’t help the corners of my mouth tugging up just a bit. Hutch is right; if even my six-year-old knows the hair ties I keep are for Finn, I’m not fooling anyone. Maybe after seventeen years, it’s finally time she knows, too.
Something akin to pleasure lights her eyes and she holds my gaze for a few beats before she takes the hair tie from my fingers.
“Thank you,” she whispers. Then, she bites her lip and ducks her head. The faintest blush of pink dusts her cheeks, and I catch the little dimple that hints at the beginning of a smile.
“It’s too big,” Paige whines. “It’s gonna look funny.”
Finn stares down at the braid she wrapped the hair tie around. “I’ll go grab another elastic,” she says.
“I’ve got it.” I take the stairs two at a time up to the bathroom in the hallway. My ears are ringing and my skin buzzes with anticipation the entire way.
How does she feel knowing I’ve been keeping a hair tie for her on my wrist for as long as I can remember? It started as far back as senior year. Maybe she never questioned it because I had sisters, and then I had a wife and a daughter. But it was always for her .
Once I’m back downstairs, I hand the tiny, clear elastic to Finn, and she swaps them out. Then, she looks up at me, that tiny smile playing on her lips.
“You want this back?” she asks, lifting a playful brow at me. The look hits me right in the chest.
I nod and my voice comes out raw and deep. “Yep.”
She drops it in my palm and a slow smile spreads across her face, along with that beautiful blush. There are a couple of charged seconds where we stare into each other’s eyes.
She lets out a breath and drops her eyes back to Paige. “There you go, sweet girl,” Finn says, kissing Paige’s cheek. “Perfect for a fun day at the ranch.”
“But why can’t I stay home?” Paige asks, still pouting.
“Finn and I will be gone for a few hours,” I say and take a knee in front of her.
“Why are you guys so dressed up?” Paige asks, stuffing the last bite of the toast into her mouth.
Finn and I share a quick glance, but she defers to me. “We have an appointment,” I tell Paige. “Now, go grab your bag and let’s head out. We can’t be late.”
Finn and I stand and I take her in. Her dress is made of cream-colored lace. The delicate straps are thin, and the dress tapers in just under the bust, accentuating her chest and hugging her tiny waist. Buttons run down the length of the skirt—undone just enough to create a sexy as hell slit—before flowing out around her thighs. The hem stops just above the tops of her deep brown cowboy boots. Her curled hair is parted to the side and pinned back with her grandmother’s vintage pearl clips, the length of it cascading down her back. She has a simple, silver bracelet on one wrist, and a thin chain of the same color around her neck .
I can’t help but stare at her. It’s exactly how I imagined she should have looked on her first wedding day. I’m glad she didn’t though, looking back. This version of her is mine.
She catches me staring and a blush tints her cheeks. She’s unbelievably beautiful.
“Is this an important appointment?” Paige asks, grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.
Another glance between the two of us. “Very important,” I say, holding Finn’s gaze.
“Ok, Daddy,” she says, turning on her heel. “I’ll be in the truck.” And with that, she leaves the living room, heading for the garage.
When I hear the door close behind her, I reach into my pocket and pull out the small blue box I tucked there after getting dressed earlier. Finn has her back to me, putting on a sweater, when I step up behind her.
“Is that chain important to you?” I ask, nodding to her neck when she turns around.
Her hand comes up, fingering it lightly, then tips her head back to look up at me. “No. Why?” Her eyes turn worried. “Does it look ok?”
I nod. “Yeah, it looks fine. I just thought you might want something new?” I hold out the box, suddenly wondering if this was a bad idea. I almost wish I hadn’t mentioned anything.
Her eyes drop to the box in my hand, and she reaches out to take it. “You didn’t have to do this,” she says, and our fingers brush when she takes the box from me.
I swallow, bobbing my head slightly. “I know this isn’t a real wedding or anything, so there aren’t rings.” My throat catches, and I clear it before continuing. “I just thought… Well, I wanted to give you something.”
“Do you want me to open it now?” she asks, her eyes fluttering up to meet mine .
I nod, trying to tell myself that it’s just a necklace and it doesn’t mean anything. It was originally going to be a gift for her birthday, but this occasion seemed fitting.
She lifts the lid, and her chin quivers a little when she takes in the silver necklace, the chain very similar to the one she’s already wearing. But attached to this one is a silver infinity symbol, and nestled in the center of each side is a gemstone: one amethyst and one opal.
Her lashes flutter up, and her watery gaze lands on mine. “Our birthstones?”
I nod, my voice a little hoarse I say, “Flip it over.”
She picks up the delicate charm and turns it over. Engraved on the back are two words: Huddy it is a lasting and lifelong commitment between two people who deeply care about one another.”
I watch Finn as she listens to Hutch, both of her hands in mine. It’s overwhelming—the juxtaposition of emotions I feel in this moment. It’s more than just feeling good about helping my best friend. It’s a bittersweet mixture of exhilaration at knowing she’s mine—even if only in name—and a sadness that feels a little like grief because I know that, as soon as she’s able to find a way to get what she needs, it will all end. We’ll get a divorce, and it will be like none of this ever happened. I force myself not to think about that and try to focus on being in the moment with her instead.
I know getting married doesn’t change anything between us, but in this moment, I choose to give into the delusional side of my brain that wants this—that wants her . For real. I settle into the idea of her being my wife in more than name as I stand here, holding her hands. It makes my chest tight, and the back of my eyes burn with emotion.
I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with her, but it’s probably accurate to say that it was a slow progression. I denied it for years, hoping it would fade. But that’s the thing about falling in love with someone who’s been your best friend for years—it’s never one thing that makes you fall for them. One day, you wake up and realize that you just…did.
“The future promises many happy days ahead, filled with unique prospects, adventures, and trials,” Hutch goes on. “It’s through trust, love, and the unfailing support of one another that you’ll meet these inevitable ups and downs.”
My brother turns his gaze on me. “Do you, Hudson, take Finnley to be your lawfully wedded spouse? To live together as partners—as equals—to treat her with love and respect, and to build a marriage that grows stronger and more loving as each day passes?”
A steady pressure builds in my throat. When I speak, all that comes out is a whispered, “I do.”
With a slight nod, he turns to Finn. “Do you, Finnley, take Hudson to be your lawfully wedded spouse? To live together as partners—as equals—to treat him with love and respect, and to build a marriage that grows stronger and more loving as each day passes?
She lifts her tear-soaked eyes to mine, and with a soft smile, she squeezes my fingers. “I do.”
“Do you have rings to exchange?” Hutch asks.
A second of panic flickers across Finn’s features, and her eyes widen a little.
“No rings,” I tell him.
Hutch raises his eyebrows, glancing between us. “Vows?”
Finn’s eyes drop. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze and shake my head at Hutch.
His eyes drop to her necklace, then split a glance between us. “Do you mind if I say a few words?”
“Of course,” she says, casting an amused glance in my direction, no doubt expecting him to make more jokes.
“The word ‘infinity’ is derived from the Latin word ‘infinite,’ which, when translated, means, ‘having no limit or end.’”
Finnley shoots me a surprised look, and I’m not sure what to do except listen. I pull the corners of my lips down in a comical frown and shrug, darting my eyes back to my brother.
“The symbol of infinity has a deep meaning for spirituality, love, beauty, and power. In a life that is often filled with difficulties and distractions, this symbol represents equilibrium and simplicity.”
I watch Finn as I listen to my brother’s words. There is so much I would give this woman if she was really mine. Images of her at seventeen roll through my mind. The first day I saw her after summer break our junior year. There was something different about her. Or maybe it was me. All I knew was that the second they paired us up as lab partners, I would do anything to see her smile .
The time I stole a bottle of scotch from Dad’s liquor cabinet and walked all the way to her house with it in my backpack, so we could sit on her back porch and drink. The way she shushed me with laughter when I got so drunk, and she was afraid her mama would wake up and call my parents. Dunking her in the pond behind Wren’s house. Racing dirt bikes through the trails at the ranch, her long hair flying around her face when she hit the gas and took off like a shot to try to beat me home. So many amazing memories with this woman, and those were just our first few years as friends.
Her being there for my wedding to Tristen, when I was so sick to my stomach that she found me saltines and Gatorade. Or when she filled in for three different women at Timber Haus during her holiday off last year, just so that I wasn’t shorthanded. How she mothered Paige and calmed her fears when we got her diabetes diagnosis.
I zone back in on Hutch’s words when she gently squeezes my fingers. Her eyes search mine and she gives me a little smile.
“Much like the wedding ring, this symbol can represent the promise and potential of a union. It also has no beginning and no end. As you think of this symbol, let it be a reminder to each of you of the love and commitment you made to each other today.”
Surely, he’s finished.
“True marriage is more than just a ceremony,” Hutch says, glancing back and forth between Finn and me. “It’s a bond that will last between two people, joining their two lives. May you always find compassion, trust, companionship, and hope in one another, through good times and bad.”
Finn and I wait, watching him expectantly.
“By the power vested in me by the state of Montana, it is my honor to pronounce you husband and wife,” Hutch announces.
Allie and Skye both let out matching whoops, making Finn and I laugh. Hutch joins in and Oakley lets out a loud bark, his tail wagging wildly .
Finn and I stare at one another, wide smiles on our faces, before Hutch lifts his hands in a sweeping motion toward the two of us. “You two gonna kiss, or what?” He smirks.
“Oh, uh, right,” I stutter.
Finn’s eyes land back on mine, and there’s not a bit of nervousness there. She looks happy and flushed and beautiful. And, God, she looks like mine. I gently tug her by the hand.
“Lay one on me, husband ,” she teases. Then, she grabs hold of my tie and playfully yanks me forward, with a quiet giggle.
God, that sounds amazing.
I hesitate for a split second before I think, fuck it .
Leaning in, I press my lips to hers. She seems startled at first, maybe not expecting me to actually do more than give her a quick peck on the lips. But once my lips are on hers, nothing on this fucking planet would keep me from taking what I want.
As I gently slide my tongue along her bottom lip, she lets out a little gasp and opens for me. Her hands bury in the hair at the nape of my neck. I swipe my tongue along hers once, twice, and then nip at her bottom lip. The kiss only lasts a second or two, and I vaguely hear a high-pitched whistle from my brother and giggling coming from Allie and Skye.
When we finally pull apart, we’re both panting a little, eyes glassy. Finn runs her knuckles across her lips, which tip up in a soft smile as she looks at me.
We did it. We really fucking did it. And I can’t hold back the smile that splits my face.