Chapter 20 Zara
Chapter twenty
Zara
Iwipe my eyes with my palms as I race down the hall. Courtiers stare at me and drop into bows as I pass. Some try to stop my retreat wearing masks of false concern to hide their smirks.
I’m seething by the time I reach the courtyard. My hands shake and I grit my teeth. What the hell? So, I can’t shift, so what? I can still fight. Or at least learn to fight.
And I’ll prove it to them. I’ll track down whoever poisoned Emlyn and bring them to my father. I just need a horse.
I dash to the stables glancing over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure no one is following me. I figure I have at least a two-minute head start before Alix comes trailing behind to drag me back to the throne room.
I run through the courtyard, avoiding eye contact with servants I pass and cower as I rush past the army barracks in front of the stables. I cover my face with the edge of my hand, staring at the ground and praying the guards don’t notice me out here without Alix.
After I’m sure no one from the barracks has spotted me, I silently creep over the grass toward the stable door.
I pause and slam my back against the wall behind the entrance when I see two stable grooms pitching hay into large buckets.
I duck low into a crouch and crawl around the corner of the building.
I move around to the rear of the stables and wait until the grooms have finished their work.
Peeking my head over the half-door, I watch as they throw their pitchforks into the corner and walk up the hill and away from the barn.
When I sneak inside the stables, I’m met with a dozen empty stalls.
My horse isn’t here. None of them are. Damn.
I look out to the pasture beyond the lake on the western side of the palace and my shoulders slump.
Five of the palace horses are grazing, including my palomino. It’s at least a mile walk.
Great.
I reach for the handle on the back half-door when I hear two sets of footsteps approaching. I quickly duck behind the gate of one of the horse’s stalls and crawl onto a pile of straw in the corner. I wait in silence, expecting to see Alix walk inside.
Instead, King Hardin trudges through the barn door wearing a stern expression on his face, and Alfrie follows a pace behind him.
I look for Leer, but he isn’t with them.
What are they doing in the stables of all places?
Did they come looking for me? I shrink even more into the shadows in the corner and clamp a hand over my mouth ensuring no sound escapes my lips.
Alfrie stops in the middle of the barn. His emerald irises are somber, and dark circles are beneath his eyes. He dips his chin slightly and stares at the straw scattered on the ground. A muscle in his jaw ticks.
King Hardin closes the stable door behind them and clicks the lock. He stands there for a moment with his hands folded over one another in front of him. He emits a long sigh, and begins to circle Alfrie, disapproval in his cold stare.
“I’m not sure what else to do with you, Alfrie. I think you know how disappointed I am that you continue to shirk your duties as a squire to the prince.”
“I’m truly sorry, Your Maj—”
King Hardin cuts him off. “I’m still speaking.
” He sighs again. “When I brought you to Lanray to stay with us, I took you in as a son. I want to trust you. I want you to behave like someone who appreciates all I’ve done for them.
You will do better. To start, you will help the princess learn to shift and prove that you are worthy of remaining in my Court. ”
My ears perk.
“In the meantime,” King Hardin reaches for the horse whip hanging on the wall. “On your knees and remove your shirt. We don’t want a mess this time.”
“I understand, Your Majesty. I will do better.” Alfrie lowers himself onto his knees in the dirt. He unbuttons his shirt and lays it neatly on a stack of hay next to him. He bows his head slightly and his chest muscles tense as he readies himself.
Oh gods.
I cover a gasp. Dozens of linear scars cover his left arm and trail down the side of his torso.
I swallow the lump rising in my throat, shaking my head.
I don’t want to watch this. I slam my eyes shut as soon as King Hardin raises his hand above his head.
I hold my breath, my entire body clenching at the sound of a loud whack of leather on skin.
Once. Twice. Three times. Nausea roils in my stomach, and my hands fly my ears to block the horrific sound. Four. Five—
“Stop,” I barely whisper. “Stop! Stop!” I scream from the corner of the stall.
King Hardin pauses, his arm mid-air. His eyes widen, but he quickly masks the surprise with a stony look when I scamper out from the hay pile. “What are you doing here?”
I hold my chin high. “I live here. I may go where I wish, and I could ask you the same question.” I sweep my gaze from the King to the whip in his hand.
“How I punish my servants is none of your concern.”
“He’s not a servant. He’s a physician, and a friend to Leer.” I’m going to be sick. How could he do this to anyone? Servant or otherwise.
Hardin says nothing. He hangs the whip back on its hook on the wall of the stable and adjusts his shirt cuffs. “No matter. We’re done here. Alfrie, remember what I said. We've done you a great service, and I expect the same in return.”
Alfrie stares at the dirt but firmly replies, “Yes, Your Majesty.” He stays there, planted on his knees, with his head bowed until King Hardin exits the stables.
I’m still standing on the opposite side of the stall gate, pinned against the wooden frame.
Dumbfounded. Whipping is such an ancient practice, not to mention a disturbing and disgusting one.
I’ve never witnessed something like this in my entire life.
And I hope never to see anything like it again.
I stare blankly out of the window as King Hardin trudges back up the knoll toward the palace before the motion of Alfrie reaching for his shirt pulls me out of my own head.
I inch away from the stall and slowly crouch down beside him in the scattered straw, gently putting my hand on his shoulder. “Are you all right?” His bare back is in my view, and I force myself to look away, only seeing bright red in my periphery.
He leans away from my touch and winces as he slides his arms into his shirt sleeves, covering the area I’m trying so hard to avoid with my gaze.
I exhale in relief and suddenly I’m crushed by the weight of guilt that I’m the one who feels better when he covers up the injuries. That I’m the one who can breathe easier when something like this is covered up. “I—I’m so sorry…” My voice trails off. I don’t know what to say to make it better.
“You have nothing to apologize for.” Alfrie stands, slowly. Gingerly. His fingers trembling as he buttons his shirt.
I follow suit and awkwardly watch as he adjusts his shirt and pants and smooths his short blond hair to reflect the perfect image of a squire to the prince.
To reflect an image that this heinous act didn’t occur.
I think about what Leer told me the night before.
About how Alfrie was good at making things appear as if they never happened.
I’m sickened. Does this happen frequently? Does Leer know about this?
He folds down his collar and clears his throat. “If you’ll excuse me, Highness.” He gives me a slight bow and turns to leave.
“Why do you stay?” I say to his back, the words falling from my lips before I can stop them. I cringe at the sight of the red lines that are starting to bleed through the white fabric of his shirt.
He pauses and glances over his shoulder at me. “And where would you have me go?”
“I—” I’ve got nothing. I don’t know him. I have no idea what he’s been through. I don’t have a clue as to what King Hardin has done for him that would give him the right to do something like this to anyone. “You shouldn’t let him hurt you like this. It’s barbaric.”
Alfrie lets out what almost sounds like a laugh, and he turns to face me. “Let him? That’s comical. He can do whatever he wants with me. I owe him my life.” He shrugs. “This is what happens when I don’t hold up my end of the bargain.”
I furrow my brow. “But. So many times? If I hadn’t stopped it—"
He cuts me off with a sharpness to his voice. “The only thing you stopped was having to witness a day in the life of someone who isn’t like you. Servants’ realities are vastly different from yours.”
“You aren’t a servant. Not really.”
“Aren’t I?” His green eyes darken, and he nods his head once more. “I will take my leave now. Highness.” With that, he walks out of the barn and slowly treads up the hill, leaving me alone with the knowledge that I know absolutely nothing of the world outside of my own.
“Did you know?” I scream as I storm into Prince Leer’s rooms without being announced.
He jolts from the chaise lounge in the corner, a book falling to the floor, clearly startled by my interruption. The lines between his eyes deepen and he glances around for a second as if I might be addressing someone else. “Hello to you too. What are you doing here? Is everything all right?”
“Did you know?” I repeat, putting my hands on my hips. Tears well in the corners of my eyes, the image of Alfrie’s punishment—and the sound—haunting me.
Leer stands and runs a hand through his thick hair. “Did I know what?”
“That your father whips his servants? That he’s a barbarian who thinks he can treat others of lower status however he chooses?
That your friend accepts his punishment as normal?
” I throw my hands in the air, glaring at him.
If his father is capable of this, then he could be too.
I refuse to wed any male who could be okay with what I witnessed in the stable. I don’t care if it saves the realm.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I saw him. Your father was out there in the stables in my court! He was brutally whipping Alfrie.” I wince, hearing the whip tearing through flesh over and over again.
Leer’s blue eyes flash, turning nearly black but flicker back almost instantly.
He crosses the room and takes my arms in his warm hands.
“Zara. I promise, I had no clue that he did that sort of thing.” His melodic voice instantly soothes me, and his icy gaze locks me in.
The anger and terror lift from me like a weight, as if his touch alone can magically comfort me.
My shoulders relax under his grip but the tears still stream down my face. “It was awful. If you’re lying…” I shake my head, “I can’t marry into that. I won’t be wed to a monster.” My voice is barely a whisper, and I try to look away, but his eyes pin me in place.
He brushes my cheek with the backs of his fingers then cups my face in his palms. “I swear to you. I’m nothing like my father, and I’ll put a stop to whatever behavior you believe you witnessed.
” He offers me a gentle smile and lifts my hand, kissing the back of it.
All the while, keeping his gaze intensely locked with mine.
I swallow and nod my head, a wave of dizziness sweeping over me. He drops his hands to his sides, and backs away from me and toward the door. He holds it open. “Why don’t you go and rest. We have a lengthy journey to Lanray in a couple of days. I’ll go and talk to my father.”
His dismissal of me is actually welcome.
My head aches and I can’t seem to form a clear thought in my mind.
I narrow my eyes at Leer, not sure I remember what he’s talking to his father about.
I’m honestly not sure why I’m standing in his rooms in the first place.
Another dizzy spell hits me, and I wobble backward.
Leer hurries to steady me, catching my elbow. “You really should rest now. You’re exhausted.” His shining blue eyes glimmer in the candlelight.
They are so beautiful. I stare in awe of them, completely captured by the endless depths of blues and grays.
“I…I’m going to go rest now. I’m exhausted.
And confused. Did I come here to…?” I frown.
I can’t finish my thought. I don’t remember what I was going to say.
I can’t look away from his eyes. “Leer? Why am I in your rooms?”
“You wanted to thank me. For rescuing you today.”
I nod in agreement. But that doesn’t seem quite right. I rub my forehead, and try to force my brain to function, but everything is so cloudy. “But. Are you sure? I—"
“Shh, there now.” The easy smile on his face widens as he ushers me to the door, his hand on my lower back, firmly pushing me along.
A guard is in the hallway and Leer calls out to him to request that I’m seen to my rooms. The guard obliges and holds his arm out to me, and I take it, looking back at Leer.
He’s still smiling kindly in the doorway.
“You’ll feel better in a couple of hours. I’ll take care of everything.”
Dazed, I nod and smile back at him, allowing the guard assist me as I stumble back to my rooms.