Chapter 44
Chapter forty-four
Zara
Ihave to find Leer. There has to be something he can do to help. If he knew what they were doing to Alfrie down there. Leer would never stand for it.
I wander the long corridors of the castle. Slowly. It took a lot of energy to sneak down to the dungeons and even more to climb the curling stairs back up the five floors. I should lie down. I need to rest.
But I can’t rest knowing Alfrie's alone and broken in that cell. Enduring whatever fresh hell the prison guards decide to unleash on him. The image of him bloodied and bruised, chained and whipped, invades my thoughts. I try to hurry, but the spike of energy doesn’t last long.
By the time I reach the main hall, I’m barely moving, stopping every ten feet or so and bracing myself against the cold walls. I inhale through the exhaustion and urge my feet to keep going. I need to sit. I lower down to the stone floor. I just need a minute.
Two hands lift me to my feet by my underarms. “Come on.” It’s Alix. He sweeps me up into his arms and carries me to my bed chambers.
“I have to get to him,” I weakly say into his chest as he lays me down on top of my bed.
“You can barely walk. You need rest.”
I roll to my side and push myself up to sitting. “No. I need to help him now. He’s down there. He’s injured.” I look at Alix, pleading with him. “Please, we need to help him. Have you seen Leer?”
“I’m right here.” Leer slips in through the door holding a small tonic in his hand.
He rushes over to me and Alix steps out of his path.
He settles on the comforter next to me. “I had to go into the village to get this medicine. I’m sorry it took me so long.
” He hands me the tiny bottle. The liquid is a deep purple and coats the sides of the glass like nectar.
“Drink this. The healer said this will aid in your recovery.”
I stare at the elixir in my hand—such a familiar color. “Alix, I need to speak to Leer. Alone.” I glance at Alix, and he nods and excuses himself from my chambers. I set the bottle on the bedside table and slide over to the other side of the bed and away from my husband.
“Zara?” His brow furrows as he watches me climb from the bed and back toward the wall.
He rises too and inches over to me. “I’m so relieved you’re all right.
As soon as I heard, it was as though my entire world crashed to the ground.
” He looks down at me, his eyes soft and sincere.
He takes my hands and lifts them to his lips.
“I love you so much. I don’t think I would be able to go on if something happened to you.
” The familiar melodic tone of his voice and the dizzy feeling in my head makes me shudder.
Oh gods. He’s doing it again. Glamouring me. How many times has this happened?
“Why did you glamour me?” I glare at him, and he releases my hands.
“What?”
“You used glamour on me. Weeks ago. I witnessed your father whipping Alfrie. And you made me forget what I saw. Why?”
Anger flashes in his eyes and he steps backward, raking a hand over his jaw. “I was trying to protect you.”
“By erasing my memory?” I cross my arms in front of my chest.
“If you knew how awful my father truly is, you wouldn’t have wanted to marry me.
And I was all in. I told you that from the beginning.
” He strides over to me, his expression soft once more and he rests his hand on the wall next to my head.
“I’m not like my father. But we had just met and I wasn’t sure you’d trust me. ”
His blue eyes sear into mine and for the first time since we met, I’m intimidated by his stance. By his stare. I swallow. I take a challenging step closer to him. “You didn’t give me the chance. It was your father. Not you. I can’t believe you would do that to me. I certainly can’t trust you now.”
“I was trying to protect you!” He slams his fist against the wall and pushes himself away from it.
His voice booms through the space. “I would do it again!” His gaze darkens, the sapphire color flashing onyx for an instant.
His chest heaves then he lowers his voice.
“I would do it again. You mean the world to me. I wanted to keep you.”
“How many times have you done this?” I scream at him and my exhausted body quivers beneath me. I hold onto the dresser for support.
He looks as though I just slapped him in the face. He shakes his head, “Once. It was only after the punishment. I swear on my very soul.” He moves close to me and cups my cheeks in his hands. “I’m so sorry. I will never deceive you again. Please forgive me.”
He holds me in his sights and I half wonder if he’s glamouring me again. My thoughts are hazy, and I can only see him. Think about him. I blink away the spell and his lips are on mine making me forget my anger.
I know he loves me, and that’s why he did what he did. But I can’t forgive the fact that he stole my free will. And I don’t understand why he’s trying to do it to me right now.
He pulls away and rests his forehead to mine. “Tell me you forgive me.”
I look up at him through my lashes. His gaze is telling me I need him. I love him. Do I? “Don’t ever do that again.”
“I swear it.” He kisses me again, gentle and smooth and beautiful.
And I feel absolutely…nothing.
Now I’m sure he’s glamoured me. When glamour magic fades, a sense of emptiness takes over.
Loneliness and hate. Has he been lying to me all this time?
Did I ever truly love him? Or did he glamour me into falling for him so quickly I didn’t have time to question my complete change in personality and lack of judgment?
I never wanted to be tied down. Never wanted to be forced into marriage.
Then I met him and suddenly, I was acting like a child, giddy with love.
A sinking feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.
Leer tears his lips away and kisses my forehead. “You mean so much to me,” he whispers into my hair.
But the magic is gone. The love is gone. If it was truly there to begin with.
I can’t let him know his glamour no longer affects me. Alfrie’s anguished expression as I cleaned his wounds clouds my brain. I need Leer to help me get him out of that cell.
So, I take Alfrie’s advice. I pretend.
I touch Leer’s chest and let him hold me close. “I need your help. Alfrie was arrested last night.”
He stiffens. “I know.”
“It was a mistake. He didn’t do what they claim he did. It was all an accident. I took too much sleeping medicine. You have to do something to get him out of there.” I gaze into his eyes and place my hand on his cheek.
“I’m not sure what I can do. Once my father has decided on something, it’s hard to change his mind.” He tightens his hands around my hips, a possessive hold I try to ignore.
“He’s your best friend. We have to try.” His jaw twitches and I wish I could read his thoughts. “Please, Leer. Please, speak with your father. I can explain everything to him if I need to.”
“No, you need to stay here and sleep. Take the medicine I brought for you and get some rest. I’ll speak to my father as soon as I see you get back in bed. I can’t let anything get in the way of your healing.”
I nod and he ushers me back to bed. I climb in and he covers me with the blankets, leaning down to kiss my nose. “Stay here. I’ll take care of Alfrie.”