Chapter 46
Chapter forty-six
Zara
The rapping at the door is so faint I wonder if I imagined it.
I slip out of bed and gingerly go to the door.
It’s Alfrie. Without thinking I throw my arms around his shoulders and pull him close to me.
He’s cold and stiff in my embrace and he slowly folds his arms over my back, but they don’t tighten around me. I take a step back to look at him.
“You’re okay.” Tears fill my eyes as I inspect his new injuries.
Exhaustion settles beneath his eyes in deep purple half-circles, snuffing the light from them.
Matching cuts are on both sides of his face and a bruise is forming around his nose.
His clothes are tattered and covered with blood stains.
Even the unfamiliarity of his pointed ears have me unnerved.
But he’s standing in front of me. Out of chains. Alive.
He stares at the floor. His brow pulls together and the muscle in his jaw tenses.
I reach out to touch him, taking his hand.
His gaze rises to meet mine and I’m taken aback by the anguish that resides there.
He retracts his hand from my grasp and his eyes flit around to every spot in the room but me.
He’s hiding something.
“What’s happened?” I inch closer to him and gently cup his cheeks, careful to avoid the gashes. “Alfrie. What’s wrong?”
His throat bobs and fear radiates off of him as he drags his emerald eyes over me.
The intensity of his stare breaks my heart and terrifies me at the same time.
“Alix is gone.” His voice is gruff, and he clears his throat.
“Taken.” The words fall from his lips, but his expression is not one of fear or worry. It’s sadness.
“Taken? Where? How—”
He steps away from me and pushes a hand through his golden hair, mussed and filthy with dirt and dried blood. Frustration and anger threaten to erupt from him. He paces past me, curling his hands into fists at his sides as though he’s struggling with himself.
“What aren’t you telling me? Where’s Leer? I think there’s something he’s hiding from me. But he must have talked to his father since you’re—"
Alfrie whips around on his heel and strides toward me, roughly taking my face in his hands.
“Zara, you have to leave.” The desperation in his voice shakes me to my core.
His eyes plead with mine, full of grief and regret.
Before I can say anything, his mouth crashes into mine.
His kiss is all consuming. Aggressive. Like it’s the first time. And the last.
It horrifies me. Not because I’m worried Leer will walk in at any moment, but because this moment with his lips on mine is everything. It’s beauty and perfection tainted with loss and despair. It’s shrouded with darkness and light and the power it holds over me weakens my soul.
He tears his lips from mine and drops his arms to his sides. “I’m sorry.” He searches my face with that intense gaze, and it’s hard to breathe. I touch my lips, the weight of what his kiss conveyed to me still lingering.
I pull him to me, caressing his face in my palms and press my lips to his once more.
My hands are in his hair and the tips of his fingers tremble as they barely touch me, grazing along my spine.
He leans into me, and his body tremors slightly.
He takes my cheeks in his hands, pulling away.
With his lips parted, he brushes them over mine as light as a feather.
He inhales a ragged breath and kisses my brow before backing away from me until he is flush against the wall. He’s terrified. Of me. His hands quiver and his chest heaves shallowly.
I move toward him, and he holds his hands up to stop me. “Alfrie, what’s going on? You’re scaring me. What happened to Alix?”
His face hardens and he robotically says, “Taken. I’ll go and find him. Leer believes he was taken by the Unseelie army into the Woodlands. If I go now, I can catch them.” He turns toward the door.
“Where’s Leer?”
He won’t look me in the eye and his tone is completely void of emotion. “He went on ahead. Toward Masseda.”
“I’m coming with you.”
His hand pauses on the handle. “No.” The plea comes as a whisper. “Listen to me. Please don’t follow me. Find Emlyn and leave this place.”
“Not without Alix. And not without you.” I slip on a pair of flats by my bed.
His shoulders tense and his chin drops to his chest. He grips the doorknob so tightly that his knuckles are white.
“Zara. Please.” His tone is laced with anxiety, but he swings the door open and stands back allowing me space to exit.
His actions are completely opposed to every word he says.
His green eyes plead with me. “I’m begging you.
Please do not follow me out of this room. You have to run.”
Something isn’t right. But Alix is in danger. “I won’t run. I’m coming with you.” So, ignoring all reason and my gut-feeling, I follow Alfrie’s lead on the rescue mission to the Woodlands.
I follow him through the palace corridors and over the empty grounds surrounding the castle.
A gray sky and heavy cloud cover loom above and an eerie silence wraps an icy hand around my body.
I shiver and jog a few steps to catch up to Alfrie.
He’s swiftly pacing ahead of me and hasn’t said a word since we left my rooms.
I sidle up next to him and he looks askance at me. A strange combination of rage and regret settles on his face. “I’m begging you. Please go back. Don’t—don’t come with me.”
“Alix is like my brother. I can’t just sit here and do nothing if he’s in danger.” The back of my hand brushes against his knuckles and I intertwine my fingers with his. Another shiver moves through me, but it’s an entirely different feeling.
He slows, clearly surprised by my touch, and he snugly closes his fingers around mine.
An internal struggle is evident in his eyes, and I can’t tell if he wants to kiss me again or kill me.
His lips part as if he wants to say something then he presses them into a tight line.
He withdraws his hand and shoves it deep into his pocket, continuing toward the forest.
A dense line of trees and brush marks the entrance to the Woodlands, and he pauses just before we cross into the darkness of the canopy.
He freezes as he peers into the forest, and I walk past him.
He grabs my arm hard and yanks me back from the path.
He grips my arm almost painfully and winces as if he might be sick. “No. Please. Run back.”
“Alfrie. We need to find Alix. I can help.” I glance at his hand around my arm. He loosens his grip and he shakes his head slightly. I unwrap his hand with my free arm. “Come on.”
He doesn’t move.
“I’m going with or without you.” I start down the path and after a couple of minutes I hear him following.
He keeps a few paces behind me as we move farther into the forest. The surrounding greenery darkens, and I’m becoming increasingly claustrophobic with each silent step we take.
I dare to glance over my shoulder to see how far he’s trailing behind me.
He’s closer than he was, and his gaze meets mine, though I don’t think he actually sees me.
His eyes are vacant. An empty shell of the male who I’ve fought so hard to avoid falling for.
My stomach turns and an overwhelming sense of dread takes over.
My heart races and my palms are clammy. We’ve been walking for nearly half an hour with no sign that an army has come through.
Nor have we caught up with Leer. If I didn’t know Alfrie cared for me, I might be paying more attention to the gooseflesh crawling on my arms and my gut telling me to run.
But he would never hurt me.
He would never hurt me, yet something in me screams that the male closing in on me is not Alfrie. Not completely. I swallow the growing lump of fear rising in my throat. When we come to a small clearing barricaded entirely by thick and thorny bushes that stand two feet higher than me, I stop short.
The footsteps behind me have also stopped.
I slowly turn to face Alfrie and throw up my hands protectively in front of me at the sight of him.
His arms are at his sides, his fingers spread and curled like claws.
He glowers at me. Not with the stunning emerald eyes of my dreams, but something of nightmares flashing with wrath, guilt, and desperation.
He blinks several times as if trying to rid himself of some horrid thought. I take a step back but there isn’t anywhere to go. I’m trapped.
He told me not to follow him. Not to come into the woods. He told me to run.
But I can’t run, and it would be pointless to call for help. No one would hear me out here. Plus, the one soul who would come to my aid is the one who stares at me as if he might lunge for my throat at any moment.
I try a new tactic. “Alfrie? Please. Talk to me. What’s going on inside your head? Where is Alix?” I lower my hands and inch a couple of steps toward him.
He throws his hands up, motioning for me to stop my approach. “No. Don’t come any closer.”
I don’t listen. I move directly in front of him, and my hands shake as I lightly touch his cheeks.
The fury in his eyes is fleeting and endless sorrow takes its place.
Tears gather in the corners of his eyes, then stream down his beautiful face.
I smile through my own fear. “You won’t hurt me.
” I stroke away the wetness with my thumbs.
His lips tremble. “Run.” A soft whisper escapes him, and his hand moves to the dagger on his hip.
My breath catches. I glance down to the blade he clutches in his palm. This isn’t him. He’s glamoured. But he can fight this. “Put the knife down.” I keep my tone as even as I can under the circumstances.
“I have to—I will cut out your—,” Tears pour from his eyes and his face twists with anger as an invisible battle rages on in his mind. I can’t do anything to save him from himself.
Still. I have to try.