What I Needed

1. River Westmore

“Who the fuck is this banging on my door so got damn early?” I shouted as I angrily marched from my bedroom to the door.

I looked through the peephole and didn’t see anyone and was tempted not to open the door, but something in my gut told me to do so. I turned the two locks, took the chain off, and opened the door.

When I didn’t see anyone in front of me, I leaned forward and looked to the left and the right to find the same result. Annoyed, I huffed as I closed the door, and just so happened to look down.

“What the fuck?”

On the floor in front of the door was an infant car seat, with a note attached, and a diaper bag next to it.

I looked left and right again because I knew damn well someone hadn’t left a baby at my door.

Still coming up short, I stepped into the hallway and walked halfway down in each direction. Not a soul was in sight.

There were only three other units on my floor, and they were older couples with adult children. The only logical answer I could think of was that the person meant to leave the car seat on another floor in front of someone else’s door.

I walked back to my apartment and looked down. From this side, I could see inside, and big, bright eyes on a tiny face looked back at me. I rubbed my eyes because God had to be playing a trick on me. I reached down to get the note that was attached to the handle of the seat and read it.

River Westmore,

You probably won’t remember me, so I won’t bother telling you who I am.

I will reveal myself to you when the time is right.

This is your daughter, and her name is Riverlynn Janelle Westmore.

She was born exactly three months ago today.

I hope you enjoy fatherhood and can give her the life she truly deserves.

Please take care of our baby.

I read the note three times before I looked in the car seat again. Those innocent eyes continued to stare up at me, and I did the only thing I could do . . . I took her and the diaper bag inside. As I reentered my unit, the woman I was with last night was headed toward me, butt-assed naked.

“Get your shit and go,” I barked.

“What? I thought—”

“I won’t repeat myself. You need to get the fuck on.”

“Is that a baby? You have kids?”

“Samantha, if you don’t get your shit and get the fuck outta my place and take your ass anywhere but here, you gon’ find yourself outside just as you are.”

“My name is Natalie, dumbass!”

She stomped away, returning a few minutes later with her belongings.

“And none of my shit better be missing,” I shouted when she opened the door to leave.

“Nigga, I’m not a thief, and you ain’t got shit I want anyway. The dick wasn’t even all that.”

Before I could respond, the door slammed. I got up to lock it, then returned to the couch where the abandoned baby remained in her car seat. The last time I’d held a baby was when my sister, Rylee, was born. She was seventeen now, so that was a long time ago, and I was out of practice.

I went to remove her from the car seat, but she’d fallen asleep, so I took the opportunity to study her. She was no doubt adorable, with my skin complexion, pouty lips, and a nose shaped like mine. None of that meant that she was actually my child.

I went to my bedroom to find my phone, which was in the pocket of the pants I wore yesterday. On my way back to the living room, I called our team doctor.

“What can I do for you, Westmore?” Dr. Nolan said.

“Can you do a paternity test or connect me with someone who can?”

“Dammit, Westmore!”

“I know, and I don’t need a lecture. I’m always careful, so I’m not sure if this kid is mine.”

“Does the timeline match up?”

I rubbed my hand down my face and released a deep breath.

“I don’t know. The baby was left at the door of my condo with a note saying she was mine. She’s three months old, so that means I fucked her mother at least a year ago. I have no clue who she could be.”

“Are you kidding me? This has to be a joke.”

“I wish. I need to figure out if the kid is mine.”

It was his turn to release a deep breath.

“I’ll have someone there in the next hour.”

“Thanks. Does this person understand that we need to be discreet?”

“I know damn well you don’t think you’re the first player to reach out to me who needed a paternity test.”

“You’re right. I’ll be waiting for their arrival. Thanks again.”

As a small forward for the Black Elm Scorpions, there was no shortage of women I had access to. In every city we played, I had no less than three who I could call who would do just about anything I wanted.

I had no idea who I’d fucked a year ago, so finding out who this child’s mother was would take some digging. I’d reach out to the building’s security to see if they’d caught anyone on the cameras, but other than that, I didn’t have a clue where to start.

I decided to take a quick shower before the doctor arrived, so I gently picked up the car seat and carried it into my bedroom. I placed it right outside the bathroom door, leaving the door open while I prepared the shower.

Five minutes later, I stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my waist and looked down into those big, bright eyes. She looked content as I picked her up and placed her on the bed while I dressed comfortably in athletic shorts and a T-shirt.

I stood at the edge of the bed, staring at her while she stared back at me. Suddenly, her little arms and legs kicked and swung, and out of nowhere, she was screaming at the top of her lungs. I unfastened the straps and picked her up, hoping to console her, but she wasn’t having it.

I rushed to the living room where I’d left the diaper bag, praying there was at least one premade bottle inside. I held her with one hand against my chest while digging inside the bag. Thankfully, I found a small, insulated bag with two bottles inside.

“Okay, baby girl. Give me a second,” I pleaded as she screamed at the top of her lungs.

The bottle may have needed to be warmed, but I didn’t have time for all that, so I sat on the couch and put it to her mouth. She immediately latched on and went to town. The milk disappeared from the small bottle in what had to be record timing.

Once it was empty, I removed the nipple from her mouth, and baby girl’s lips quivered. Seconds later, my condo was filled with the cries of an unhappy baby, and I was unsure of what to do.

“I don’t think someone your age is supposed to drink two bottles in one sitting,” I said as if she could understand me or hear me over her screams.

I stood, put her on my shoulder, and walked around the living room, patting her back, thinking maybe she needed to burp. She did release some gas from both ends, but it didn’t stop her tears.

“C’mon, baby girl. Give me a break.”

I returned to the couch and looked in the diaper bag for a toy or pacifier, . . . hell, anything that might quiet her down. I found a rattle and shook it in front of her face, and it didn’t help at all. A knock at the door, which I barely heard, gained my attention.

“River Westmore?” the man said when I opened the door.

“Yeah. Please, come in.”

He stepped inside, and he waited for me as I closed the door, then followed me into the living room.

“I’m Dr. Carner. It sounds like you’ve got your hands full,” he commented.

“Tell me about it. I fed and burped her, and I don’t know what else to do.”

“I’ve raised three kids. Did you try changing her diaper?”

“Changing her . . . Shit! Let me do that. I think there are diapers in her bag.”

While I got busy doing what should have been obvious, he set up what he needed to do the paternity test. As soon as I removed the wet diaper from her bottom, wiped her down, and covered her in a dry diaper, she was good to go.

“Is that better, little one?” I asked, picking her up and holding her in the air.

She’d stopped crying and gave me a smile, so I guess that meant she was okay. I placed her in the center of the couch and went to throw out her diaper and wash my hands. When I returned, she was content, sucking on her fist.

“Thanks for your patience. What do I need to do?”

“Ma, please. I just need you to come out here for a few days until I figure something out.”

“Son, I have a job, and your sister just started school. You can’t expect me to drop everything and come to you.”

“I’ve been telling you to quit and let me take care of you,” I reminded her.

“You’ve done and still do enough, Son. I enjoy my job, and I can keep an eye on your sister. Maybe I’ll quit when she graduates.”

My mother, Janis Westmore, was an administrative assistant in the main office of the high school that my sister attended.

She truly did love her job, and when I signed my first multi-million-dollar contract ten years ago, I asked her to quit and move to California with me.

She refused and hadn’t changed her tune.

She let me buy her a modest home in a better neighborhood and a nice car, but that was where she drew the line. I still slipped her money when I had a chance, and my sister always told me when they needed or wanted something, so it was a good compromise for now.

“That won’t help me now.”

“What I’m about to say won’t help you now, either, but you need to keep that little dick of yours in your pants.”

“Little? Ma, don’t play with me. I’m six-six, and ain’t nothing little about me.”

“Boy, shut up. If you would stop giving it away so freely, you wouldn’t find yourself in crazy situations. You need to try to figure out who her mother is, and if you can co-parent.”

“Nah, co-parenting ain’t an option no more. She left my daughter in front of my door with no way of contacting her. Why would I want to co-parent with her? If she can leave her like that, there’s no telling what else she might do.”

“Was that a little extreme? Of course, it was, but we don’t know her circumstances, so let’s not judge. At least she knew you were the father and left her with you, instead of on a street corner or worse.”

“You can make excuses for her all day long. If she ever shows her face, she’d better hope and pray I don’t strangle her ass.”

“River Westmore! Watch your damn mouth. Did you forget who you’re talking to?

Don’t you ever threaten to put your hands on a woman, or I’ll fly out there and put my hands on you.

I understand you’re stressed, but I’m not one of those little girls who be tripping over themselves trying to get your attention. Watch your language.”

“My bad, Ma. I start practice soon, and I can’t take her with me.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out by then. As soon as Rylee has a free weekend, we’ll come out and meet our granddaughter and niece. Let me see her again.”

I sighed as I moved the phone so that my mother could see Riverlynn’s face as I cradled her in my other arm.

“Hey, Nana’s baby. I hope your knucklehead daddy gets his life together. You are too precious to have a knucklehead as a father. Ain’t that right, pretty girl?”

“Ma, chill. I’m handling it, but some help would be nice.”

“We should get off the phone so you can focus on finding that help. Love you, Son. Kiss my baby for me.”

My mother’s face disappeared from the screen, and I tossed the phone to the side. I let my head fall onto the back of the couch and blew out a breath. I’d already reached out to the teammates I was closest to, but they were single as well, so they weren’t much help.

I called a few of the women I’d hooked up with on more than one occasion, and when I asked them if they could babysit until I found a permanent nanny, they cursed me out. It had been two weeks since Riverlynn was left at my door, and a week since it was confirmed that she was indeed my child.

In a matter of days, my life had changed drastically, and it felt like I was in it alone. I held my daughter in front of me and kissed her cheeks before laying her on my lap. Although she was chunky, she was still tiny compared to my big ass.

“I guess it’s just you and me for now, baby girl. You cool with that?”

She cooed her response before trying to pull my finger, which she was holding, into her mouth. Most of the time, she was pretty mellow, but she definitely did her share of crying. It still took me a minute to figure out what her cries meant.

Sometimes it was hunger, other times it was a wet diaper, and I was convinced that when it wasn’t either of those, she just wanted to hear her own voice. Had we still been staying at my condo, I was sure the other tenants would hear her cries because her little ass was loud.

The condo was where I took women to have sex, so whoever Riverlynn’s mother was had been there at least once. My house was off-limits to anyone who wasn’t family or close friends. We’d been here since the day she arrived, and my neighbors on either side were too far away to hear crying.

“You want to go for a ride?”

She looked at me inquisitively.

“I want some good old greasy food, and this will be the last time I’ll have it for a while. You coming, or you gon’ stay here and suck on your hands?”

She smiled, showing all her gums and a dimple on her left cheek that matched mine.

“Well, you ain’t got a choice, baby girl. Let’s go.”

Thirty minutes later, I parked in front of this hole-in-the-wall diner I didn’t frequent very often. The food was good as hell, but there wasn’t a healthy item on the menu. After grabbing Riverlynn’s car seat from the back of my SUV, we went inside.

There were only a few people inside, so I found a seat in the back corner and prayed I could eat in peace. I already knew what I wanted, so I didn’t bother looking at the menu. A few minutes later, I was playing with Riverlynn when I heard the sweetest voice behind me.

“Hi, I’m Erissa, and I’ll be serving you today. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

I turned around to see who the voice belonged to, and her beauty took my breath away. She was dressed in an oversized black T-shirt and black leggings, with food stains on both, and I was still taken aback by how beautiful she was.

Her short hair was dyed a fiery red and cut in a simple style, allowing me to see her whole face. I couldn’t guess her height, but I was sure she was taller than the average woman. To top it off, her skin was smoother than any I’d ever seen on a woman. She was beautiful.

“Do you want me to come back?” she asked when I didn’t respond.