17. River
“You can forgive me that easily?” she asked.
“I didn’t learn this until today, but it’s easy to forgive someone you love.”
“I—You love me?”
“That was another one of today’s revelations, but yeah, baby, I love you. I’m in love with you.”
“You’re the only man, besides my daddy and grandfather, to ever say those three words to me. It feels different.”
“Different how?”
“I don’t know how to explain it . . . Relieved, maybe.”
“Relieved?”
“That’s the word that comes to mind. I’ve fallen in love with you, too, so I feel relieved that your feelings match mine,” she confessed.
“Damn. I think I know exactly what you mean now. My entire nervous system relaxed when you said those three words.”
She lifted her forehead from mine as we shared a laugh.
“I really am sorry for saying all those terrible things. I wish I could take them back.”
“I’m new to this, and I will make mistakes, but I need you to know my feelings for you run too deep to betray you in any way.
I promise I won’t have you out here looking stupid, but you have to remember who I am.
As a professional athlete, things will be said about me, and sometimes I won’t be able to prove them wrong, like I can tonight.
I need you to trust me, trust my word, and trust that the way I feel about you will stop me from doing anything that will fuck up what we’re building. Okay?”
“Yes, River.”
We shared a kiss before she rested her head on my shoulder. My hands rested on her back, and I rubbed my hands up and down in a soothing manner.
“Tonight has been a lot,” I said in a low voice.
“I’m ready to listen.”
“Riverlynn’s mother’s name is Chala, and she died about a month ago from breast cancer.”
Her body jerked back, and she lifted her head from my shoulder.
“River, oh my God.”
For the next thirty minutes, I shared everything Marveya shared with me. Erissa asked questions, most of which I didn’t have the answers to, and probably never would.
“This is so sad, River. The worst I thought was that Rivvy’s mother was going through something and might come back for her once she got herself together. I never imagined it was something like this.”
“Yeah. Nothing like this ever crossed my mind either. I feel kinda fucked up that I don’t remember her. I keep thinking about what I’ll tell Rivvy about her when she’s old enough.”
“Thankfully, you have time to figure that out.”
“Do you realize she’s going to believe you’re her biological mother?” I asked.
“I’ve thought about that. If me and you last long—”
“Erissa, I’m not trying to hear all that bullshit right now. We’re in a good space, baby. Are you okay with her thinking you’re her biological mother?”
“I am. I’m actually honored.”
“Will you be okay with her knowing the truth at some point?”
“Absolutely. I think she has a right to know.”
“Thank you for being so understanding.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Can you do one more thing for me?” I asked as I reached between us and moved the crotch of her shorts to the side with one hand and grabbed the front of her neck with the other.
“What’s that?”
“Ride this dick.”
A few days later, I was preparing to leave for the first regular-season away game. I’d traveled for a few preseason games, so this wasn’t the first time I had to be gone overnight, but for some reason, Erissa was extra emotional.
“Baby, we have a whole season of this. You can’t cry like this every time,” I told her.
She’d been glued to my side all morning, and the closer it got to the time I was set to leave, the more emotional she became.
“I know, but I can’t help it. I’m so sad about you leaving.”
“Is it because you still don’t trust me?”
I thought we’d gotten over her lack of trust, but I had to ask.
“No. I’m not worried about that.”
“Then what’s the problem, baby?”
“It can’t just be that I’ll miss you?”
She was standing in front of me, looking up at me with sad, teary eyes. I wrapped her in a hug, using one hand to caress the back of her head while she buried her face in my chest.
“I’ll be back tomorrow night. Why don’t you see if Shakira will come over and spend the night?”
“Okay.”
We remained in that position for a few minutes before I released her.
“You gon’ walk me out?” I asked.
“No. I think I’ll take a nap. Rivvy will probably be asleep for thirty more minutes.”
“Okay. I’ll call you when I get settled in my room. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
We exchanged a kiss, and I left with her heavy on my mind. On the plane, Jaxon, Desmond, and Boris noticed how quiet I was, and of course, they couldn’t leave me be.
“Trouble in paradise?” Desmond asked.
“Nah. Things are good.”
“Why are you so quiet?” Jaxon asked.
“Just thinking.”
“About?” Boris pressed.
“Y’all are nosy as hell. I need y’all to find some business so you can stay out of mine.”
“I got plenty of business, but it’s probably nothing you want to hear since you’re now a one-woman man,” Jaxon teased.
“Yeah, man. We don’t want to tempt you,” Desmond agreed.
“Don’t worry about me. I’m good. Erissa was extra clingy before I left today. You would think this was our first time being apart. I’m just trying to figure out what could be wrong with her.”
“Is she pregnant?” Boris asked.
“Pregnant? Shit. I don’t know. I think if she were, she’d tell me.”
“Based on your response, I guess it’s possible,” Jaxon said.
I chuckled. “Hell yeah. I never used anything, and I don’t plan on it.”
“Damn. It’s like that?” Desmond questioned with raised brows.
“Aye, man. I’ll fuck you up over that one. Don’t play with me.”
“Nah. It ain’t like that. Even though she’s pretty as hell, I know you’re trying to build something with her, so I wouldn’t even go there in my head. I’m just saying, I know how serious you are about protecting yourself,” he defended.
“That’s how I knew there was something special about her. I’ve never been so careless in my life. If she’s pregnant, that might explain her behavior.”
“Are you gon’ ask her?” Boris asked.
“Not yet. I want to give her time to tell me. I’ll keep y’all posted, though. Jaxon, wassup with you and Shakira?”
“Not a damn thing. We exchanged numbers and text sporadically. She usually takes days to respond, so I assume she’s not really interested.”
“She wasn’t starstruck when she met you, and she doesn’t seem like the type of woman who chases niggas.”
“She definitely not chasing my ass, and I ain’t used to that shit. I keep saying I ain’t texting or calling her ass again, but a few days later, I’m looking for our text thread.”
Desmond, Boris, and I laughed. Shakira was very laid-back, nothing like the thirsty women we were used to.
“If she ever decides to give you the time of day, you better be careful, or you might be tied up like this one,” Boris said, pointing at me.
“Tied up ain’t a bad place to be when it’s with the right one,” I responded before putting my headphones on and pulling my hood over my head.
We arrived in Chicago a couple of hours later and went directly to the hotel. Once I checked into my room, I sent my mother a text to let her know I’d arrived and would call her later. She and Rylee were coming to the game tomorrow, and I was excited to see them.
Next, I FaceTimed Erissa, and she answered with a nervous smile.
“Hey.”
“Hey. You good?”
“Yeah. Rivvy and I just came inside from a walk.”
She turned the camera around toward Riverlynn, who was still in her stroller.
“Hey, baby girl! You miss Daddy?”
She squealed, clapped her hands, then reached for the phone. Seconds later, Erissa’s face was on the screen again.
“How was your flight?” she asked.
“It was good. I slept for most of it. I’m actually still kinda tired, so when we get off the phone, I’m ordering room service and chilling for the rest of the night.”
“Good. Shakira’s on her way over now. We’ll probably watch movies and talk until we fall asleep.”
“At least you’ll be distracted and not thinking about me.”
“Maybe.”
I pulled my toiletry bag from my duffel bag, took it into the bathroom, and placed it on the counter.
“What are y’all having for dinner?” I asked.
“Since you’re not here, I’m having deep dish pizza.”
“Damn. That sounds good. I’m looking at the menu for the restaurant downstairs, and nothing sounds as good.”
“I thought you said Chicago had the best food in the nation.”
“We do. I just can’t indulge the way I want. I’m an all-or-nothing kinda guy. I won’t just eat one slice of pizza. Before I know it, four slices will be gone. I don’t even want to tempt myself.”
“You have no willpower.”
“Not for you or good food. I’ll call you before I lay it down for the night. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
Her face disappeared from my screen, and I tossed my phone on the bed. Something was definitely up with her, but whether or not it was a pregnancy remained to be seen. I’d give her a few days to confess before I asked her about it.
I ordered a turkey BLT sandwich and a side salad for dinner, and when I finished eating, I prepared to shower. I stripped out of my clothes and went to the bathroom. After turning on the shower, I reached inside my toiletry bag for my toothbrush and toothpaste.
What I thought was my toothbrush turned out to be something totally different. I looked at it closely to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.
“Pregnant.”
Erissa was pregnant, and instead of telling me, she put the pregnancy test in a clear sandwich bag and put it in my toiletry bag. I stared at the test and smiled, wondering why she was afraid to tell me. I decided to wait until after I showered to call her.
Ten minutes later, I rushed out of the bathroom to answer my ringing phone, and my mother’s name and picture were on my screen. I didn’t plan to tell her until after I talked to Erissa, but there was no way I’d be able to keep this from her.
“Hey, Ma.”
“Hello, Son. You ready for tomorrow?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
“I’m always so torn when you play Chicago. You know this—”
“Erissa’s pregnant.”
“Say what now?”
“Erissa’s pregnant.”
“Oh my God. How far along?”
“I don’t know. I just found a positive pregnancy test in my toiletry bag.”
“What?”
“She didn’t tell me, but I knew something was going on. She’s been extra clingy and emotional lately, and when I ask, she didn’t mention she was carrying my child.”
My mother gasped. “Maybe it’s not yours?”
“Ma, don’t play with me like that. Why would you say that?”
“I’m joking, Son. Calm down. She probably didn’t know how to tell you. Have you talked about having more children?”
“Indirectly, kinda sorta.”
“Well, if y’all super grown asses ain’t using protection, neither of you should be surprised. I’ll see you tomorrow. Call Erissa and get some rest. Love you.”
“Love you too, Ma.”
I ended the call with my mother and immediately FaceTimed Erissa. When she answered, she was laughing, so I assumed Shakira had arrived.
“Hey.”
“Wassup. Is Shakira there?”
“Yeah. She’s playing with Rivvy.”
“Wassup, Shakira? Can you keep an eye on Rivvy for a minute while I have a private moment with your girl?”
“Go right ahead, but don’t be having phone sex all night,” Shakira teased.
“Thanks. E, go upstairs for a minute.”
“Okay.”
I waited until she was upstairs and in our bedroom to continue.
“I found something in my toiletry bag.”
Her eyes widened. “You did? What was it?”
“How long have you known?”
“Since yesterday.”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were carrying my seed?”
“I don’t know. I guess I was nervous about how you would react.”
“You didn’t think I’d be happy?”
“I wasn’t sure. We kinda just met, I moved in with you, and out of nowhere, we started fucking like rabbits, with no protection, I might add.”
“I’ve been sexually responsible since the first time I had sex. I made a conscious decision to fill you with my seeds.”
“So, you trapped me?”
I laughed. “We not gon’ put this all on me with the way you’ve been taking this dick. It may appear that we were careless, but we knew exactly what we were doing. I’m happy as hell that you’re having my baby. Are you?”
“Yes, but I’m a little nervous about how my mental health will be affected with my changing hormones and not taking my meds.”
“We’ll find the right doctors to help support us with all that.”
“Us?”
“Hell yeah, baby. We’re in this together, and I got you for whatever you want or need. Life dealt you a tough hand, and if you’ll let me, I want to make it easier for you. Okay?”
“Yes, River.”
“I’m about to go to bed happier than I’ve ever been in my life. I love you, E.”
“I love you too, River.”