Chapter Eight
CHAPTER EIGHT
We fall asleep in each other’s arms and I wake with the sunrise only a few hours later. Ash has one arm behind his head, propping it up so he can stare at the ocean, but he glances down at me when he feels me stirring.
‘Good morning,’ he says huskily, pressing a kiss onto the tip of my nose.
‘Morning,’ I whisper, not chancing my voice at full volume.
He hasn’t put his shirt back on and his chest is bare and lovely. I trace my fingers over his stomach and he strokes my arm. I put my hoodie and underwear back on after we had sex, but I didn’t bother with my dress.
‘I wish I had some clean clothes to wear for seeing my parents,’ I murmur. ‘It’s going to be hard enough as it is without giving them any more ammunition.’
‘We might be able to squeeze in a trip to the laundrette before your train,’ Ash muses. ‘I built in extra time and I still need to do my clothes too.’
‘Our first date at last,’ I say with a grin.
‘I feel like the last two and a half days have been our first date,’ he replies with amusement.
‘If Lisbon was our first date, I can’t wait for our second.’ I raise an eyebrow at him. ‘So … Madrid?’
He gives me his sweetest smile, the one that makes my heart sing.
‘Shall we come up with a plan?’ he asks.
I nod and he reaches for his rucksack, dragging it over. He gets out a map and flips onto his stomach, spreading it out. We both lean in close to study the city centre.
‘How about Plaza de Espana—’ he says at the exact same moment that I suggest ‘Plaza Mayor?’
We smile at each other and take a closer look at the two options.
‘This one has a monument,’ Ash points out.
‘This one has a statue. I wonder if one of them has a café so we’d have somewhere to wait if we’re early.’
‘Or late,’ he says. ‘Let’s go with your suggestion, it’s a bit smaller. Less chance of our not being able to spot each other.’
We agree to meet at three o’clock in exactly one week’s time.
‘I’ll give you my number too, just in case anything goes wrong.’ Before I can overthink it, I pull A Court of Thorns and Roses and a pen out of my bag.
‘Are you sure about this?’ Ash asks uncertainly as I write my mobile number on the inside cover. ‘I know it belonged to Stella.’
I meet his eyes. ‘I trust you.’
‘I’ll guard it with my life,’ he replies seriously.
‘Okay.’ I smile at him and hand it over. ‘It has the contact for my parents’ PA in there too, so if for any reason I can’t get the same number for my mobile, at least we have a backup plan. Her name is Alison.’
He studies the front cover for a moment, then says, I think I’ll get a phone when I’m in Porto. That way I can text you and we can stay in touch this week.’
‘You’re coming back on-grid?’ I ask with amazement.
He laughs at the look on my face and it makes me laugh too.
‘I’m going to really miss your sniggle,’ he says fondly. ‘It’s ridiculously cute.’
I feel as though I’m evaporating with the way he’s looking at me right now.
The sun has not yet risen behind the cliffs, but the sky is a wash of neon apricot.
‘You’re so fucking pretty,’ he murmurs. ‘Your hair is the same colour as the sky right now, it’s insane. I seriously regret not having a camera.’
‘How don’t you have a girlfriend?’
He laughs and kisses me again, this time with more intent, and before I know it, I’m beneath him, feeling completely lit up.
Sex is so much more intense in the daylight. We don’t break eye contact, not once, not even when we’re in the process of falling and I’m clutching on to him, feeling his muscles tighten beneath my fingers.
When it’s over, I try to commit every second to memory, knowing I’ll relive them in the days to come.
Later, we stand on the platform at Lisbon station, in each other’s arms. Everything has gone to plan – we’ve been to the laundrette and we even managed a final lunch at the Time Out Market before arriving in good time for our trains. He’s catching one to Porto in half an hour.
‘Stay strong with your parents, Ellie,’ Ash urges fervently, cradling my head in the gap between his jaw and his collarbone.
I press my lips to his neck and feel the echo of his heart leaping against my mouth before looking up at his face, my resolve strengthening.
‘I will.’
He meets my eyes. ‘Just before Taran died, he said something to me that’s stuck.’ He swallows and I wait for him to go on. ‘He said that if he’d known how little time he had, he would have swum in more rivers and stayed up late more often to watch the stars. He wished he’d cherished the sound of the rain on the roof and the birdsong in the woods. But the thing is, Taran did appreciate all of those things. He just knew what he loved and regretted not doing more of it.’ His expression is grave as he stares down at me. ‘Seeing you in the gardens, hearing you talk about trees and your favourite flowers and your nan’s lupins … Gardening is your passion, Ellie.’
His eyes shine with emotion and I bury my face against him, fighting back tears as I hold on tightly, but he hasn’t finished.
‘Please don’t let your parents bully you,’ he implores in a low, urgent voice in my ear. ‘Follow your own path. Life is too short not to do what you love. You and I know that better than most.’
The whistle blows and we jolt, breaking apart. I brush away my tears and pull him in for one last hard hug before wrenching myself away to step onto the train.
I want to do as he urges, but I just don’t know if I can.
He’s standing outside the open doorway when I turn around to face him.
‘I’ll see you in Madrid,’ he says seriously.
I nod quickly, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. My tears won’t let up.
Suddenly, leaving him feels like madness. What am I doing? I could stay with him, not go to the Algarve. I’ve already been to Porto and the other places he wants to visit, but it would be completely different with him at my side.
The doors whoosh shut on my racing thoughts and on impulse I slap my palm against the glass, panicked.
His eyes meet mine through the window, his expression worried, but beneath that is a steadiness that centres me.
I trust him. We’ll be together again in a week.
It’ll be okay , he mouths, his brows knitted together.
I nod quickly, wanting to believe him, as the train slowly pulls away, leaving behind the one person I want in my future.