Chapter 23 #2
During the meal, Jackson reached over to put a lock of my hair behind my back, dragging his fingers against the exposed skin of my shoulder in the process.
I tensed, trying not to react to how good his delicate fingertips felt against my smooth skin.
I had to press my nails into my palm to distract myself.
I looked at him in my peripheral vision, mouthing the words, No touching.
“Your hair almost got in the gravy on your plate,” Jackson said, loudly enough for everyone to hear before turning back to his food, like that was an excuse for doing what he did.
I glanced up and Sam’s girlfriend was watching me with her eyebrows furrowed, like she was trying to figure me out.
She looked at Jackson next, then Sophie, before returning her eyes to me.
My whole body went hot, and I could feel my back starting to sweat.
It was so embarrassing to feel like I’d been caught having feelings for Jackson; like I was doing something wrong.
It was him that had the girlfriend—him who was touching me when he shouldn’t be.
I took out the hair tie that was holding half my hair up, and put everything up in a high ponytail so I didn’t have to risk him fixing my hair again.
I knew Sophie had seen him touch me by the way I could physically feel her eyes burning my skin like laser beams. He had to stop drinking; he couldn’t do things like this.
I could barely finish eating because of all the nerves bubbling in my stomach.
As soon as dinner was over, I made up an excuse that my stomach hurt (which was honestly a half-truth) and went up to Julie’s room to lay down on her bed.
I dug through Julie’s bookshelf before finding something that looked appealing and began reading.
I dozed off for a bit, and an hour later Julie came to check on me.
“How are you feeling?” she asked as she lay down next to me on the bed.
“Better. I think it was from the grasshopper,” I lied.
She started pulling out one of the threads on her sweater. “So, what do we think of Sophie?”
Was that a trick question? Julie flipped over to her stomach, positioning her fists under her chin to look at me head-on.
“She’s cool. Really pretty, too,” I said, attempting to sound as genuine as possible. The pretty part was true, at least. It just sucked to admit it.
Julie burst out laughing, covering her mouth with her fist.
“I haven’t seen you in so long, but I can still tell when you’re lying.” Julie was smiling, and my cheeks flushed. At least she believed the lie about the grasshopper giving me a stomach ache.
“Jackson is kind of a dick to her,” I said quietly. “It’s awkward.”
Julie nodded, her eyes wide. “I noticed that, too! I feel bad for her; why is he acting like that?”
I pretended not to have the slightest inclination as to why. The way Jackson acted around me wasn’t right—not just because we weren’t supposed to mess around, but because he had a girlfriend now.
“Like I said, he had a tough year. He hasn’t really been himself,” I said.
“I’ve also never seen him drink so much. Should we be worried?” Julie asked.
I didn’t know what to say. Jackson was clearly dealing with a lot, mentally. “I think it’s just a phase. He’s eighteen now, and feeling lost or whatever.”
“His music is so emo these days.”
She said it like she was trying to be funny, but I couldn’t make myself laugh. The music he listened to now was downright depressing.
“Can we just stay up here for the rest of the night? Change into our pj’s and have a mini sleepover?” I asked.
Julie smiled and nodded. “I’m still used to California time, so I’m gonna be up all night. Let’s watch a movie.”
We switched our Christmas outfits for pajama pants and knit long-sleeve tops with fuzzy socks, then made a fort out of blankets on her bed. Julie turned on Love, Actually for us to watch on her laptop, and we cuddled up together with my head on her shoulder.
Even though Julie claimed she would be awake all night, she fell asleep before the credits played. I shut her laptop and gently untangled her limbs from mine before plugging it into the charger.
When I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I walked in on Jackson and Sophie making out in the bathroom against the sink.
“Fuck,” I said as I stumbled back, hitting my head against the doorframe. My hands flew to the crown of my head, my eyes wide in horror.
Jackson flung back from between Sophie’s legs like she had the plague, swaying as he did so. Thank god he was fully clothed. It wasn’t lost on me that I saw more of his skin in his room earlier than I did now while he was hooking up with his girlfriend.
Jackson took a wobbly step toward me. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking at me with bloodshot eyes. His words were slurred, and Sophie crossed her arms against her chest like I was the biggest inconvenience in the world. It’s not my fault they decided to do this in the bathroom and not his bedroom!
“I’m fine, sorry to interrupt,” I choked out.
I realized Sophie’s skirt was pushed up to her hips, her tights were down around her knees, and I could see her lacy white underwear.
She didn’t even try to hide it; she wanted me to see that he was touching her.
My eyes flew up to her face, and she smirked at me.
Jackson was hers. I was just the best friend that was obsessed with him.
I shut the door with a slam on accident, then rushed back to Julie’s room. I slipped back under the covers, facing away from Julie and shoving her comforter against my face so she couldn’t hear me cry.