23. Eden
EDEN
The water was scalding, just the way I liked it, steam rising in thick, wet clouds that clung to the tiles like a second skin.
My cock was already leaking, pre-cum slick and glistening, begging for attention as I leaned against the shower wall, my breath hitching with every throb of my dick.
Fuck, I couldn’t get her out of my head.
Alana.
Her name alone was enough to make me twitch, my hand instinctively wrapping around my shaft, grip tight, possessive, like I was claiming her in some twisted fantasy.
I squeezed harder, my thumb brushing over the swollen head, spreading my pre-cum down my length. My hips jerked, fucking into my fist, imagining it was her tight, wet pussy instead.
Jesus Christ, Alana.
Her curves haunted me—her hips wide and soft, begging to be gripped, her tits fucking massive, spilling out of whatever bra she wore, nipples hard and teasing through the fabric.
I could picture her now, those thick thighs spread wide, her pussy glistening, the way her body would move as I pounded into her ruthlessly.
My hand moved faster, the water dripping over me, my cock throbbing in time with my heartbeat.
I could almost feel her hands on me, her nails digging into my back as she begged for more, her voice thick with lust. I groaned, biting my lip hard enough to draw blood, imagining the way her tits would bounce as she rode me, those heavy, perfect tits I wanted to suck and bite until she screamed.
“Fuck, Alana,” I muttered under my breath, my voice ragged, my cock aching now, desperate for release.
I tightened my grip, my other hand sliding down to cup my balls, rolling them roughly, the pleasure so intense it was almost painful.
I wanted her so bad it hurt, wanted to bury my face between her legs, tasting her, fucking her with my tongue until she came all over me, her pussy clenching around me as she screamed my name.
The water was beating down on me now, drowning out the sound of my ragged breaths, but nothing could drown out the image of her in my head. Her lips wrapped around my cock, sucking me deep, her tongue swirling around the head, her eyes locked on mine as she swallowed every fucking inch.
I could feel it building, my balls drawing up tight, ready to explode. I was so close, so fucking close.
I let out a guttural moan, my body jerking once, twice, as three thick ropes of cum shot from my cock. They smacked against the tiles, hot and sticky, before being washed away with the water.
Panting, sweating, I let go of my dick and leaned my forehead against the cool tiles, trying to catch my breath. But even as the aftershocks of my orgasm faded away, all I could think about was Alana.
And how much I wanted her.
It took me a moment to come back to reality. I stayed exactly where I was, forehead pressed against the cool tile, eyes shut tight because the second I opened them, I’d have to face it.
The truth.
That I was alone in my shower and Alana hadn’t been here. Alana was just a fantasy.
I was losing my goddamn sanity. There was no other possible explanation for this insanity.
What the fuck was happening to me?
I wasn’t just toeing the line of our whatever kind of relationship we had anymore, I’d sprinted across it, full speed, like a fucking idiot with no sense of self-control.
My fists curled against the wall as heat prickled beneath my skin, and it wasn’t from the water.
How had I let it get this far?
How could I have been so stupid?
It was one thing to find her attractive. Who wouldn’t?
Alana was… Alana. Gorgeous. Smart. Sharp as hell. And yeah, we were faking our relationship, but that didn’t mean I was blind.
But jerking off to the thought of her mouth on me? That was another level of fucked up.
That wasn’t just blurred lines, that was a full-blown detour into what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-me territory.
I let out a frustrated groan, the sound muffled by the water dripping from my shower head. My jaw ached from how tight I was clenching it.
We were friends.
We had rules.
We had a deal, goddamnit.
“Fuck!” My hand slammed against the tile, the sharp sting nothing compared to the shame burning inside me.
This wasn’t some casual mistake I could laugh off or bury. This was dangerous. She was getting under my skin in ways I didn’t even realize until it was too late.
Alana had crept into my thoughts, my dreams, my very being without a warning. It scared the shit out of me.
I leaned forward, bracing both palms on the wall, breathing heavy, like I’d just finished a fight I hadn’t even realized I was in.
But I had.
With myself.
And I was losing.
Another string of curses fell from my lips, the hot water pounding against my back as if trying to wash away the confusion and lust swirling inside me.
This wasn’t part of the plan.
I dragged a hand down my face and finally opened my eyes, blinking against the steam. The bathroom felt too hot, too close, like I was suffocating.
I took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart. For just another moment, my thoughts kept lingering on her, but I managed to push them aside eventually.
I forced myself out of the shower, grabbing a towel and roughly drying off. But the moment I stepped into my bedroom, a different kind of weight settled in.
How the hell was I supposed to look her in the eye after this?
How could I pretend nothing happened, when my entire body remembered it in vivid detail?
I wrapped the towel around my waist, the unease in my gut thick and relentless. And just then, my phone buzzed from the nightstand.
I grabbed it, grateful for anything to pull me out of my own head, and nearly sagged with relief when I saw my dad’s name on the screen.
Thank God. He was always a welcome distraction.
“Hey, Dad,” I said, surprised by how normal my voice sounded. Like I hadn’t just had a complete breakdown in the shower.
“Do you have a minute?”
“For you? Always.”
I sat on the edge of the bed, still damp, towel clinging to my waist. Water dripped from my hair, darkening the comforter beneath me, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have the energy to care.
“I just got off the phone with Colin,” Dad said. His voice was casual, easy, but I could already feel that twist in my gut. Something was coming. “He had to push back the charity gala. Kim and Kayden came down with some kind of virus.”
“Oh, shit. Are they okay?” I asked, even as my thoughts stayed far from the conversation. I rubbed a hand over my face, trying to force myself to focus. To stop replaying the scene in the shower on a damn loop.
“They will be,” Dad replied. “Fever, nausea… the usual. Colin said it’s been a rough couple days, but they’re managing. Kieran’s been staying with Sofia and Aaron all week just so he wouldn’t get sick, too.”
I bet he loved that. Kieran and Jamie were attached to each other’s hip. Spending a whole week in one house instead of next to each other must’ve been a blast for them.
I nodded even though Dad couldn’t see it. My head felt heavy. I should’ve been thinking about the gala, or Colin, or how to help, but all I could think about was Alana.
Her eyes. Her laugh. The way she said my name like it meant something.
God, what was wrong with me?
“He worked hard on that event,” I said quietly.
“He did. But you know Colin, family first, always.” There was a pause, one just long enough to shift the air between us. “You sound off.”
Shit.
I tensed instantly. “Do I?”
“You do,” he said, and I could hear the concern sneak into his voice. “You’re usually more talkative. Especially when it’s about something familiar. You okay?”
“I’m just tired,” I said too fast. “Didn’t sleep well.”
That wasn’t a lie, at least. I’d barely slept the night before, and after this morning? Yeah. Sleep was going to be even harder to come by.
Another pause. Longer this time.
“You sure that’s all it is?”
No. Not even close.
I swallowed hard. The image of her mouth flashed in my mind again, vivid and wrong and perfect. I gritted my teeth.
“I’m sure,” I said.
Dad let out a soft sigh—the kind that told me he wasn’t buying it, not really. “Alright. Just… don’t let it build up, Eden. That never ends well. Trust me on that.”
I stared at the floor. “Yeah. I know. Thanks.”
“Okay. I’ll let you go. I’ll update you on the new gala date when I hear from Colin.”
“Thanks.”
After we hung up, I sat there, motionless. The phone still in my hand, the towel still wrapped low around my hips, and my thoughts still tangled around a woman I wasn’t supposed to want.
But I did.
God help me, I wanted her more than anything.
And I had no idea how the hell I was going to look her in the eye again without breaking.
And if I didn’t get a grip soon, it wasn’t just going to be my sanity that broke.
It was going to be us.
Me and Alana.
Whatever we were.
Whatever we weren’t supposed to be.