36. Alana
ALANA
“She could’ve simply missed her best friend, you know?” Eden said carefully, about to pick up my plate but I swatted his hand away before he could take it.
“You cooked, so it’s only fair I do the dishes,” I explained when he looked at me with a slightly puzzled expression. I picked up both plates and made my way over to the sink.
Honestly, I couldn’t believe this was the first time Eden had cooked for us since we started our deal. Usually, when we’d met up, both of us had already eaten, or we picked something up on our way to whoever’s place. Guess today was different.
And I couldn’t believe I was saying this, but this guy really knew how to cook. I’d never eaten more expensive-tasting homemade pasta before. I was sure half of the ingredients he used, I’d never even heard of before, and I always used to think of myself as a great cook.
After what happened with Asyia earlier, I wasn’t in the mood to go anywhere anymore. I just wanted to go home and try to understand what had happened. Asiya had never acted this way toward me before; at least, I hadn’t noticed until now.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized something about our friendship, though I could’ve been exaggerating as well. Perhaps I was still in shock and a little confused, so I was trying to find all the bad things I possibly could.
But ever since we’d met, Asiya had been trying to get me out of my comfort zone, or so I thought. Yet if I looked at it from another angle, was she really trying to get me out of my comfort zone, or was she just trying to embarrass me?
Perhaps she needed someone by her side that made her look better, and I was the perfect victim. Easy to undermine. Easy to convince of things that might not have always been true.
I mean, the day I met Eden, for instance, she knew I hated the dress she picked.
I thought I looked weird in it, but she insisted it looked good on me.
I’d seen the pictures. I looked horrendously.
She knew I hated parties, yet she still always dragged me to them and somehow found a way to make me genuinely regret going.
Asiya also knew that I wasn’t good at talking to strangers and that I didn’t want to go talk to the hockey guys because we both knew I was going to start stuttering. Yet she still walked up to them anyway.
Then again, there was a chance I was overanalyzing the whole situation right now.
But it wasn’t the first time she’d done something like this either. It wasn’t even the second or third. I couldn’t count all the times I felt humiliated at a party, because of something she dragged me into, anymore.
“Why would she have missed me?” I asked, turning on the faucet.
I didn’t realize Eden had gotten up or that he’d followed me to the sink. It only dawned on me when all of a sudden his arms wrapped around me from behind, and he decided it was a great idea to rest his chin on the top of my head.
Why did he have to be that much taller than me? It simply wasn’t fair. I couldn’t use him as a table, so how was he allowed to use me like that?
The worst part was that I didn’t really mind when he touched me. Actually, I kind of liked it when he hugged me, when he kissed me, or when he held my hand.
“Didn’t you used to do everything together?” he asked.
“Yeah.” Mostly because I had nobody else to turn to. Asiya had plenty of other friends.
“So, you’ve been hanging around each other every single day for God knows how long, and suddenly my perfect self—”
I snorted. “Very humble.”
“—shows up and steals you away.”
“But that’s the thing, right? You didn’t steal me, Eden.”
“But I did.” He held me tighter against his body.
“Because of me, you’ve been hanging around me and my friends for weeks.
Your social media is filled with pictures of us rather than you and her.
You no longer go anywhere with her because I take you to these places instead.
You even blew her off to pick me up from the arena after a game before.
And you’re constantly canceling plans with her to hang out with me. ”
Well, if he says it like that.
I never canceled plans with Asiya to hang out with Eden.
I just always told her I already had plans when she asked, which was always the truth.
I always had plans with Eden. Even if we’d only see each other for an hour that day, we’d somehow find time to be together.
And recently, we wouldn’t even bake anymore.
“That’s still no reason to latch out on me the way she did.
” As I finished cleaning the last few items in the sink, I quickly washed my hands and turned off the faucet.
The second the water was turned off, Eden turned me around in his arms. His eyes met mine, his gaze so intense, it brought goosebumps to my skin.
With every passing day, those green eyes seemed to get more and more intense, pulling out more unexpected reactions from me. Suddenly, when he looked at me, I no longer wanted to roll my eyes. Instead, my stomach was fluttering with stupid butterflies.
His hands were on my jaw in a matter of a second, his thumbs brushing my cheeks softly. “That’s true. She could’ve easily tried talking to you about it instead of whatever she was trying to do. Communication is key, or whatever they say.”
I cocked my head at him, smiling lightly. “So, you always raise your concerns when something annoys you?”
“Of course, Ally-Bear,” he answered, sounding almost too confident. “I grew up in a let’s-talk-about-it kind of family. My parents made sure we could always express our feelings without being judged for it. I actually have a really funny story about that. Want to hear it?”
“Always.”
His hands moved from my jaw to my hips, yet somehow, he never stopped touching me.
“Little backstory, which you’re going to love. We have the same nickname. My dad used to call me The Devil growing up because, apparently, I didn’t like him. He was just being dramatic; I loved my dad—still do, but the nickname turned out to be fitting.”
“The Devil?” I raised my eyebrows at him. “Now that doesn’t surprise me at all.”
His lips parted in shock, but he just kept on talking.
“Anyway, I really was a mean child. I took let’s talk about it literally.
So, when my siblings—alright, mostly Brooke because she was older and I stopped at some point—did something bad, I always told on them.
When I was eight, I saw Brooke and Reece kiss, and I thought that it was illegal to kiss when you’re not an adult.
So, the first thing I did was run inside and tell our parents.
I told my mom it really disgusted me to see how irresponsible my sister was behaving.
Also, I kind of broke the news of my sister’s new relationship to my parents because, at that point, they didn’t yet know she was in a relationship.
I mean, it had barely been an hour since they were dating, but still.
To be honest, I think I did her a favor. ”
I exaggerated a sigh, shaking my head at Eden. “That’s not talking about your feelings, baby. That’s called snitching.”
“Oh, fuck.” His head fell back, a slim smile appearing on his lips. “Say that again.”
My eyebrows drew together. “It’s called—”
“No, the last word before that.”
“Uhm…” What did I even say? Something about feelings, and then I called him—Oh. My eyes widened at the realization. “Sorry, I don’t think I remember what I said.”
There was no way I’d call him baby again. It was meant as a lighthearted, funny joke, but now I realized that it sounded a little too real.
The line between what was real and what was fake was already blurring with each passing day. I couldn’t possibly risk erasing it altogether.
I was going to get hurt that way.
For most of my life, I’d accepted getting hurt to please others.
But Eden was different. I feared he was able to hurt me in a way nobody had ever dared come near before.
He’d taken my heart, attacking it from far too close.
It was like he was holding my heart right in his hands just so he had easy access in case he needed to stab a knife right through it.
When I thought my crush on Austin was extreme, Eden was on a whole new level.
Austin had been a fleeting obsession, something to fill the empty spaces in my lonely world.
He was good to look at, good to dream about.
In theory, I knew Austin and I would’ve never worked.
Not because I didn’t think he’d ever like someone like me—though it was still a reason—Austin was simply…
different. He was untouchable, but in a bad way.
The stories about him were so ridiculous that nobody wanted to believe they were true.
Each time a new “rumor” about him started to make its rounds, everyone would laugh them off, saying stuff like: “There’s no way anyone would be this awful.” Oh, but Austin Bennett would be this awful.
While Eden didn’t have the best reputation when it came to partners, he’d never hooked up with someone who was in a relationship. Not that I knew anyway, and I’d never heard a rumor like that before either.
Austin used a woman for pleasure. He didn’t bother getting to know her at all. Not even when he was dating her. So the rumors said.
Eden cared.
And somehow, Eden… He was everything I feared and everything I wanted, wrapped up in a mess of contradictions that I couldn’t untangle even if my life depended on it.
When he looked at me, it was like he saw every inch of who I was—every weakness, every scar. And he didn’t even flinch. He wasn’t repulsed by me.
It was terrifying and addictive all at once.
I hated him for it.
I loved him for it.
Eden’s smile faltered slightly, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features before he masked it with a chuckle.
He almost had me. I almost would’ve caved and said it again.
Eden leaned in just a fraction closer, his breath warm against my skin. “You’re holding back, Ally-Bear.”
“What?” I thought about turning back around in hopes of finding anything to distract me with, but Eden wouldn’t let me. He held me so tightly against his body, I didn’t dare move.
“Why do you keep pulling away when you don’t have to?” His tone softened, and the playful edge he usually carried was gone, replaced by something raw, almost vulnerable.
“I’m not pulling away,” I muttered, though the words felt like a lie even when I said them. “You’re just reading too much into things.”
I mean, sure, I did call him baby, but Eden had called me some nickname from almost the first day we’d met. And it was all jokes anyway… kind of. Honestly, I didn’t even realize I said it until he made me aware of it.
Which was probably worse.
I saw him tilting his head, probably studying me like he didn’t believe a word I said. And honestly, I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. Somehow, this guy had a talent for seeing through every defense I tried to build.
“Am I?” he asked, his voice low. “Because the way I see it, you’ve been running ever since we met.
And you never stop.” He pressed me harder against the counter.
“You’re running away from everything you desire.
You want Austin, right? And yet you never tried talking to him.
” I talked to him. “You want to be more confident, yet unless I make you do something, you won’t even try.
But the worst of all, you’re running away from me, from us, from whatever this is between us. ”
I swallowed hard, the words hitting me right in the chest.
He wasn’t wrong, but admitting it felt too dangerous. Too real.
“You’re awfully full of yourself for someone who just recently learned how to bake,” I said, trying to somewhat change the subject. Even I could hear how weak the attempt was.
Eden chuckled, but it was soft, almost resigned. He leaned down, his lips almost brushing mine, when he whispered, “Am I?”
I held my breath, or maybe I forgot how to breathe. His hands were still on my body, steady and warm, and I hated how much I wanted them to keep touching me.
I could’ve nodded, tried pushing the conversation toward something entirely different, and yet I circled back. “What’s between us anyway?”
Eden’s eyes searched mine for a moment as if contemplating his next move. There was a depth to his gaze that I couldn’t decipher, a mix of longing and uncertainty that almost mirrored my own feelings. And then, with a soft smile playing on his lips, he spoke, “Why don’t we find out?”
Before I could respond, his lips captured mine in a gentle yet urgent kiss. It was as if the world around us faded away, leaving only the warmth of his touch and the taste of him on my lips.
His hips pushed against my body and I could feel his growing erection pressing against my stomach. A gasp fell from my lips at the same time as Eden kissed his way to my ear.
“I’ll wait,” he spoke quietly, his hands roaming over my body. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Eden,” I breathed, my heart racing inside my chest, every nerve ending on high alert.
I felt his hands brush against my ass, a soft, lingering touch that made me suck in a sharp breath.
“Alana,” he murmured, his breath hot against my skin.