48. Alana
ALANA
Iwas going to tell him.
I sat on this stupid bench outside Eden’s lecture hall, basically wringing my sweater into a ball in my lap. My leg wouldn’t stop bouncing, and I kept checking the time on my phone every thirty seconds. People walked by, some talking, some just rushing to wherever. But none of them mattered.
All I could think about was Eden.
He was in there, taking his final exam… his last one before graduating. I knew how much this meant to him, and yeah, part of me was nervous for him. But it wasn’t just that. Not even close.
I was nervous because I was finally going say it.
That I didn’t care about Austin anymore. That I hadn’t in a long time. That somewhere between fake flirting and real smiles and the way he looked at me like I was everything—I started to fall for him. Slowly. Bit by bit. And I didn’t want to keep pretending like I wasn’t.
I wanted to tell him that I chose him. That I wanted him.
Not Austin. Him.
My phone buzzed in my hand, and I glanced down without thinking. I figured maybe someone in our friend group was texting something dumb like always. But no.
It was a link. From someone in my business class. No context, just:
“Thought you should see this before you embarrass yourself.”
Okay. Rude.
I clicked it, not expecting much—maybe some joke or meme or something. But the second the blog loaded and I saw the headline, my stomach dropped straight through the floor.
“Golden Boy Eden King Caught Cheating—Inside His Secret Affair.”
Tori Cardwell’s blog. Of course.
I stared at the words, my brain trying to reject them before I even started scrolling. But then I did.
Pictures. Of them. Eden and Tori. At a party. Her touching his arm. Them slipping out a side door. A screenshot of a message from him that said:
“You know I can’t stay long. Alana’s waiting.”
It felt like someone had punched me in the chest.
I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. I just stared at my phone like it was lying to me.
But it wasn’t.
It was right there. For everyone to see. For me to see.
And the worst part?
I’d been falling for him. Slowly. Steadily. Silently.
And now I just felt stupid.
Yes, I knew Eden and I weren’t supposed to fall for each other. I knew our time had come to an end, that he was going to leave to go back home tonight until his graduation.
Our deal was over.
We were over.
But somehow, somewhere in between everything I thought… I thought that maybe he was falling for me, too.
He promised he wouldn’t get with anyone while we were doing this thing. He promised not to cheat, though it wouldn’t have been cheating since we weren’t actually dating.
It still felt like the biggest betrayal I’d ever countered.
The lecture hall door opened, and my head snapped up. There he was.
Eden walked out, bag over his shoulder, hair messy, looking tired but… happy. Like the weight of the world had finally slid off his shoulders. His eyes landed on me and lit up instantly, like I was the thing he wanted to see most.
But I couldn’t even smile back.
I was still holding my phone. Still holding my breath. My heart was somewhere on the floor, probably shattered.
He saw my face, and his smile disappeared just like that.
“Alana?” he asked, his voice soft, like he already knew something was wrong.
I stood up, but I didn’t go to him. I couldn’t. I just stared at him through the tears in my eyes, my chest aching so bad it felt like it might crack open.
He stepped closer. “What happened?”
I shook my head. I couldn’t speak. I didn’t trust myself not to break in front of him.
I turned around.
And I left.
Not because I wanted to. Not because I didn’t care.
But because I didn’t know what was real anymore.
And I couldn’t risk hearing the truth… if it turned out he’d never actually picked me at all.