Chapter 20 - Jackson #2
As if on cue, when the song comes to an end, the lead singer of the band announces there’s a special performance in store for us this evening.
“Ladies and gentlemen, please join us in welcoming a fellow Minnesotan to the stage. Taevin Gray! She’s going to be performing an original song for you all tonight. ”
Taevin’s entire body stiffens in my arms. Bending down, I whisper in her ear, “I figured since there’s only two items left on your list now, you should check off performing in front of a crowd.”
“I did when I sang the national anthem at your playoff game, remember?” she hisses through clenched teeth.
“That wasn’t an original song, baby. Remember the addendum you made?”
“Semantics. I can’t believe you did this, Jackson Charles Wilson.”
Oh shit, she just full-named me.
Yeah, I probably fucked up, but there’s no time to waste on that right now.
Guiding her through the rest of the crowd up toward the stage, I lead her to where the bass player is standing off to the side of the stage holding an acoustic guitar.
The new guitar I purchased for her a week ago and have been dying to give her.
It has a matte black body with a glittery black strap that Taevin reluctantly slings over her shoulders after she walks woodenly up the steps to the stage.
She’s shellshocked and I pray to god she doesn’t get stage fright.
Pride expands in my chest as Tae approaches the mic stand. I mirror the deep, calming breath she takes before she searches the crowd until her eyes lock on mine.
“Thank you for having me tonight.” A few whistles give her pause before an enigmatic smile transforms her face.
“I’m not gonna lie, I had no idea I’d be performing for you all tonight.
But earlier this year, I made a list of things I wanted to do before I go to college this fall.
One of the last things on the list was to perform an original song in front of a crowd.
So if it’s alright with y’all, I’m going to check this one off the list and play you a song I just finished. It’s called ‘Ensnared Hearts.’”
The crowd cheers when she strums the opening chords of the song, it makes her smile. Their encouragement heightens when she closes her eyes and sings the first lines.
The lyrics are familiar, taking me back to the night she sang them to me just before we made love the first time.
Taevin captivates the audience with her infectious energy just like I knew she would. She’s a natural up there; it’s as if she were born to be on stage.
When she gets to the chorus she first played for me months ago, my chest swells with pride.
“It’s a sin and you’re redemption. Strength and beauty tangled tight.
Hold me now, pain and protection. Lose myself in sea glass eyes.
My heart won’t be contained, I’m yours in every way.
Ensnared hearts, you and me. Pull me free, but baby keep your hold on me. ”
Stagelights illuminate her petite figure, yet she doesn’t look small right now; in fact, she looks larger than life with the way she commands the stage. It’s amazing, actually—the way she’s managed to ensnare the crowd with only her voice and a guitar.
Taevin Gray was born to dazzle the masses, and I’d give up everything if it meant I got to watch her shine like this for the rest of my life.
Taevin
I’m still shaking even an hour after performing.
In front of a crowd.
While playing guitar—a guitar that happens to be mine. Like, whose life is this? And who am I going to have to fight when they try to take it back?
I may have been riddled with nerves and on the verge of throwing up when they first announced my name. But then I got up on stage and looked out at the crowd. And my eyes landed on him.
Jackson was the focal point that kept me grounded during the entire performance. Then when I finished and the band asked if I wanted to perform my favorite song of theirs with them, I glanced over at Jax and his entire aura exuded pride.
I suddenly realized I’d do anything to keep him looking at me like that for the rest of my life.
And now here we are, snuggled in the bed of his brother’s truck with a pile of blankets under a sky full of mesmerizing July stars.
The heat of his chest beneath my cheek, and the feel of his strong arms wrapped around me feels like home.
Jackson is my home.
He rolls me over onto my back and brushes his thumb against my cheek, staring down at me with eyes full of love and longing.
“I love you so much,” I whisper, needing him to know that but unable to put into words just how much he means to me.
Jax peppers delicate kisses on my cheeks, my forehead, and over the bridge of my nose. “I love you too, baby. So fucking much. And I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud of someone in my entire life as I am of you for what you did tonight.”
Staring down at me, he licks his lips before shaking his head in disbelief. A huge smile takes over his face. “You were amazing up there, Tae. Truly. And I wasn’t the only one who noticed. You managed to captivate the whole fairground with your performance.”
I try to shy away from his praise but he tilts my chin back up to look at him. “I love what you did with the song. And if the way the crowd went wild for you was anything to go off of, I’m sure they loved it too.”
“Only because you pushed me out of my comfort zone,” I admit.
And it’s the truth. As much as I’d like to think I was going to check everything off my list, performing an original song in front of a small room of people—let alone a crowd of hundreds—wasn’t something I really thought I’d accomplish before the fall.
I’m not sure I would’ve ever had the nerve to do that without Jax’s planning.
The hope I saw in his eyes made me more determined than ever to overcome my fears and self-doubt.
He makes me want to be brave—to go after everything I’ve ever dreamed of.
When I look up at him again, he looks unsure and I’m not sure what I said to put that look on his face.
“I’m sorry if I pushed you too far too soon, that wasn’t my intention, T.”
“You didn’t. I swear,” I’m quick to reassure him.
“If anything, I should get down on my knees and thank you for giving me one of the most memorable nights of my life. It was—” I take a deep breath before biting back a smile.
“It was unbelievable. Being up there. The stage. The lights. The crowd. The adrenaline. Oh my gosh, J, I felt like I was high. And when they cheered for me, I was soaring. It was such a rush!”
“I wish I could relive this moment over and over again—you look so happy.”
“I am.”
“I know, it’s written all over your face. Your joy is contagious. I’m so damn proud of you.” He leans down and places a tender kiss on my lips that has us both smiling as he pulls away.
Looping my arms around his neck, I rake my fingers through his hair as he rests his forehead against mine. “J?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“I’m not sure I’ve ever been this happy in my entire life.
And I know that might sound crazy or dramatic considering I’m only eighteen and you’ll be nineteen this month, but I don’t care.
It’s the truth, and it’s all thanks to you.
I’m not sure what our future has in store for us but I know whatever comes our way, I want to experience it by your side.
The good, the bad, the ugly, the joyful milestones, a house, pets, marriage, kids—I only envision you beside me. ”
Jackson is speechless as he stares into my eyes.
Just when I think I’ve gone too far and stunned him beyond belief, he sits up and rocks back onto his heels, reaching out his arm for me. “Come here.”
He hops off the truck, and I scooch until my legs are dangling off the side of the tailgate.
It’s dark now, but I can still make out his silhouette as he bends down to grab something out of the tall grasses that surround us. After a minute, he comes back and stands between my legs, placing his hands on either side of my waist.
I’m hesitant to wrap my arms around his neck after being so vulnerable. Ultimately, I do, and Jax hums in contentment.
“I don’t think that sounds crazy or dramatic at all.”
My brows pinch in confusion until realization sinks in. “You don’t?”
He slides his hands beneath the hem of my tank top and then rubs his thumbs up and down my bare skin. The movement is soothing, though I’m not sure if it’s more so for me or him, because when I take him in, he looks like he’s contemplating something.
“Not at all—” Jax clears his throat and then takes a deep breath. “In fact, I only see you too. When I think of my future—I envision the two of us. Only ever us. What would you say if I asked you to make that dream a reality?”
Jax grips my waist and lifts me off the tailgate so I’m standing in front of him. Taking my hands in his, he shocks the hell out of me by dropping down on one knee.
“What are you doing?” I squeal because what the hell is happening right now? “Have you lost your mind? Stand up, Jackson. This isn’t something to joke about.” I try to pull him up but he doesn’t budge.
“I’ve never been more serious in my life,” he admits, running his thumbs over my fingers.
Taking a deep breath, he continues. “Your future is so damn bright. Your hopes and dreams matter to me a hell of a lot more than my own do. But regardless if we wind up on different ends of the country while we’re pursuing those dreams or we’re together in the same home, I’m going to do whatever it takes to make this relationship work.
Let me prove that to you by vowing to be by your side for the rest of my life. ”
“My dad would never let me get married so young—” I start, but he cuts me off.
“Then we’ll elope. We’re eighteen, Tae. We don’t need anyone’s permission.”
I stare into his eyes, searching for any hesitation and find none. “You’re serious about this?”
“I am. And regardless of your answer, I know we will make this work.”