Chapter 4 #2
That look. I had put that look on her face. That was the thing I was carrying. That look on her face was the fuel to my determination to win her back.
Phase one started four days later.
I walked into Happy Steps at four in the afternoon on a Wednesday.
Through the glass walls of the main studio, I could see Maple with the foster kids.
She had mentioned a day before I single-handedly fucked it all up about the kids the city council had approached her to train for the upcoming fall festival.
There were twelve of them, ages ranging from what looked like seven to about thirteen, in various states of trying to do what she was asking them to do.
Maple was in the middle of all of it, patient, and completely at home.
She saw me. The patience did not extend to me. Through the glass, I watched her expression jump to various different messages for me and landed on fuck off.
Nancy looked up from the front desk. Nancy was in her thirties, with reading glasses pushed up on her head and a smile that came naturally to her.
“Mr. Sonnenberg.” She smiled. “Maple has a class—“
“I know. I’ll wait.”
Nancy gave me a sad smile and went through the glass door into the studio. I watched Maple and Nancy have a conversation in which Maple did not stop watching me for a single second and Nancy came back out looking apologetic.
“She… she asked you to leave. The class runs until six.”
“I’m not leaving. I’ll wait until five.”
Nancy stared at me.
“Is that okay?” I said. “I can sit over there.”
“You’ll wait for two hours?”
“I have nowhere to be.”
Nancy looked at me for another moment, then pointed at the waiting area couch.
I sat down. There was a stack of magazines on the side table.
I picked one up. It was a magazine for teenage girls, the kind with quizzes and celebrity news and opinions about lip gloss.
I found a quiz on page forty-seven: Does Your Crush Like You Back? Take Our Quiz To Find Out!
I did the quiz.
It had eighteen questions. Things like: Does your crush remember details you’ve mentioned before? Yes. She remembered every word I said about her. Does your crush go out of their way to spend time with you? Not anymore. Has your crush met your family? I was too ashamed to make that happen, so no.
I got mostly Bs.
According to the quiz, my crush did not like me back and I should focus on myself and remember that my worth isn’t defined by someone else’s feelings.
My worth, my happiness, and my entire existence was defined by Maple. I had realized that too late. And I was willing to do anything to reverse the outcome of this nonsensical quiz. God, how do young girls manage their feelings after they get that result?
That was ruthless and completely heartbreaking.
A delivery man came through the front door with a stack of boxes.
Nancy signed for them and started to carry them to the back of the reception area, stacking them on the floor.
I could hear her expressing her feelings about the tape on the boxes.
After hearing a few fucks and ouches, I got up and went around the reception booth.
“Can I help?”
She looked up from the floor. “You don’t have to—“
“I’m sitting here anyway.”
I took out my pocket knife and ripped open the tape for her. She smiled.
“Thanks, Mr. Sonnenberg.”
“Please call me Cade.”
I sat on the floor next to her. She opened the box.
Tutu skirts, small and large, in all shades of orange and gold.
Nancy started sorting them by size. “Can I help with that? I’m a good sorter.
” I said. She nodded and we both got busy sorting.
“So, Cade, were you able to talk to Maple last week? After you missed seeing her here?” She asked as she reached for a bright orange tutu.
Before deciding to drop by unannounced at Maple’s home, I took my chances of catching her at her studio.
In the first week following the party, I’d wait outside the studio every day after work, but couldn’t get hold of her.
On two of those evenings, I’d run into Nancy closing up the studio, but no sign of Maple.
“I did.”
“And she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.”
“Correct.”
She nodded. “What did you do?”
“Something unforgivable.”
“Hm.” She plugged in a glue gun and took out glittery bows from another box. She pressed a bow onto a small tutu with great precision. “Well. Good luck with that. She’s the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. Once she decides something, it’s decided.”
“I’ve noticed.”
“She’s also usually right.”
“I know.”
“So if you did something unforgivable, she’s not going to waste her time on you.” She shrugged her shoulders and gave me a “sorry, not sorry” look.
“Thanks, Ms. Debbie Downer,” I said.
Nancy laughed.
“Just trying to not give you false hopes, that’s all.”
And that was the moment the studio door opened and Maple appeared.
She had clearly just finished class. She was looking for Nancy, registered that it was me on the floor with her, and that look of fury I had seen on the porch that evening found its way back to her face. I stood up.
“Why are you still here?” she said.
“I came to say hi.”
She looked at me. Then she looked at the sorted tutus and the glue gun and Nancy, who had taken the opportunity to find urgent business on the other side of the reception desk.
As Nancy passed me, she whispered: “I told you.”
“Maple—“ I started.
“What part of I don’t want to see you did you not understand, Cade? Which word was unclear?”
“I want to apologize—“
“You apologize after a fight. What you said isn’t something you apologize for.” She pointed at the door. “Leave.”
“Maple, please—“
“I will call the police.”
I looked at her. She meant it absolutely. I turned and walked toward the door, and behind me I could hear her voice switching registers entirely — warm and easy and fully present — as the kids from her class streamed out around me.
“Great work today, guys.” Maple clapped twice. “Costumes came in—“
The room exploded.
“YEAH—“
“Can I see mine—“
“Is it orange—“
“I want the big bow—“
Maple held up both hands. “—we’ll fit them next week once Nancy gets the bows attached, so nobody is trying anything on today—“
Too late. One of the girls had already gotten into the open box and was holding a tutu out in front of her, turning side to side in front of the mirror on the studio wall.
A boy, around ten, looked at the tutu and started laughing.
“You’re gonna look SO SUS,” he announced.
Sus? What in the world was that supposed to mean?
Three other boys immediately lost their minds in solidarity.
“Blessing looks so sus. She looks so sus.” The boys started chanting.
“BOYS.” Maple stepped into the middle of it. “Blessing looks awesome. And as I said before, we will not make fun of each other. We’re here to have fun as a group, and we can’t do that if we pull each other down.”
“But we are having fun, Ms. Maple.” An older boy retorted.
Maple handled it like a pro, talking calmly to him. “Not at the expense of others, Dex, you know that. Now, please help Nancy carry these to the back.”
“But—“
“Now, please.”
Dex looked at the box. He looked at Maple, picked up the box, still grinning, and carried it away.
I stood at the door and watched all of this.
And that was when it hit me.
The idea.
The absolutely, undeniably splendid idea that would put me directly in the middle of Maple’s schedule. Every single day.
Oh, I thought. Hello, Phase Two.
***