Chapter 4
“Where do we start?” Nova asks, staring out at the sea of tents set up around the upper quad.
It’s the Back to School Carnival, but don’t let the name fool you.
Yes, at the far, far end of the quad there are about three rides, some food trucks, and a few games.
But the meat of the event is this area right here, table after table laden with fliers as students from every sort of club imaginable try to recruit young, naive freshmen to their various causes.
I’m absolutely terrified.
Just going to classes and figuring out the whole can’t swim but really fucking need to situation is overwhelming enough. Adding a club on top of that might be too much.
I’m the only one who thinks so.
Nova bounces on her toes beside me, face filled with glee as her gaze eagerly darts from one shiny poster to another. Next to her, Willa wears a soft smile while she scans the crowd, eyes brightening as she lands on something she likes.
I’m just going to drag them down.
“Why don’t we divide and conquer?” I say, my palms already clammy. “We each find a few things we’re interested in and meet back here in half an hour to debrief?”
“Let’s set timers.” Nova takes out her phone. “I tend to get carried away.”
“Really? I had no idea,” Willa drawls, her tone affectionate despite the teasing as she shakes her extra-large coffee in Nova’s face.
Ice rattles inside the cup. The two of them were still pretty much where I left them last night when I got back to the room this morning, a little weepy from the goodbye scene my mother and I made at breakfast. They woke up groaning when I accidentally slammed the door in my haste to wipe away tears, all those shots they took at Nova’s prompting clearly hitting differently in the daylight, just as I suspected they might.
I held up a bag of croissants in apology, and they thanked me profusely before dragging me back into the bed.
“Hey.” Nova arches a brow. “You were a willing participant.”
“Guilty.” Willa giggles, then winces and grabs at her head. “Ugh. I think I had the best kiss of my life last night.”
Nova and I share a knowing glance. She asks what we’re both thinking. “And that’s a problem because…?”
“It’s too embarrassing.” Willa palms her face, then peeks up at us between her fingers. “Do either of you by any chance remember who he was? I met so many people. I had too many drinks. It’s all a blur except for his perfect freaking lips.”
Nova scrunches her face, thinking. “He was…tall. I know that.”
Willa tosses a hopeful glance at me, the sober one.
“Sorry.” I shrug. “I couldn’t see past all your hair.”
She snorts and shoves me playfully. “Shut up.”
“What? I’m just being honest.”
She glares, and my facade breaks as laughter spills from my lips. When both of us finally stop, she looks at me again. “You really didn’t see?”
There’s a sensitive edge to her tone I know not to mess with. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t see his face.”
“Shoot.” She sighs. “If you think you see him, let me know. I hate being rude to people. I really don’t want to hurt his feelings, whoever he is.”
“To be fair, he probably doesn’t remember either,” I offer, trying to make her feel better. “I’m pretty sure everyone but me was completely wasted last night.”
“Well, you and Nox,” Nova corrects. “He doesn’t drink either.” I have no idea who she’s talking about but she’s off and running before I can ask. “Oh, look! There’s the Drama Club!”
I turn to Willa with a sigh. “To the clubs?”
“To the clubs,” she confirms with a strong nod. Then she nudges me playfully with her hip, as if sensing my trepidation. “See you in half an hour.”
Crying internally, I step into the throng.
Most of the options don’t interest me at all—singing troupes, newspaper positions, political groups, religious ones.
When I spot a poster with an underwater scene, I make a beeline and take a flyer for the Marine Biology Club.
The upperclassman behind the table spends a few minutes telling me about some of the programs they run alongside faculty, like guest speakers, excursions, fundraising campaigns—all things that sound great for my future résumé.
When he’s done, he points down the line to some other relevant clubs and I sign my name on a few more lists to get information.
The Ocean Conservation Club. The Ecology Club.
The Nature Photography Club. All in all, it’s not nearly as bad as I feared.
I mean, okay, do I pointedly avoid the table marked Scuba Diving Club?
Yes. Do I go out of my way to stay clear of the Water Sports Club? Also yes.
But, baby steps.
I’m trying.
“We are soooo doing Dance Club together!” Nova shimmies next to me and jumps around, uncaring as she draws eyes. She and Willa returned with their arms full of pamphlets and both happened to grab the one for some dance lesson thing that sounds like a horrible, horrible idea to me.
“I’m in!” Willa cheers, then turns to me, noticing my dour expression. “If you don’t like it, you can always back out after the first lesson.”
I shake my head. “I don’t dance.”
“Who are you? Footloose?” Nova snorts. “Come on. It’ll be fun! And it’s only once every two weeks. Each month they focus on a different dance style. We can all go together!”
“I’m a total beginner, too.” Willa takes my hand and squeezes. Nova latches on to my arm, pleading.
I glance between them, not sure what to say. Does it sound like my own personal form of torture? Sure. But does it also, maybe, sound sort of fun? College is supposed to be about exploring new things, after all, even if I never in a million years expected that new thing to be…dance.
I drop my face into my palms.
What is happening to me?
“Yes!” Nova shouts victoriously, sensing my wavering resolve without my needing to say anything. Willa drapes an arm across my shoulders and pulls me in for a conciliatory hug. She’s so tall, I fit perfectly against her.
“Just promise me one thing,” I whisper, looking up. “You won’t leave me alone with her? I’m not sure I’ll survive.”
“Hey!” Nova points accusingly. “I heard that.”
Willa laughs. “I promise.”
“Nova!”
Willa and I turn as one toward the sudden call. A good-looking guy with shaggy brown hair and a wide, beaming smile pushes through the crowd. He’s tall with a muscular build, though it’s the gray sweats and deep-green hoodie labeled Swiftmore University Hockey that fully give him away.
“Nova! Wait!” he shouts again, two warm bluish-green eyes trained on our friend. My gaze slips curiously sideways to where she keeps her back turned, very clearly pretending not to hear.
Interesting.
“Come on, Nova,” he says softer as he stops next to us and moves his face all around as if trying to capture her attention. His eyes crinkle with silent laughter. “Don’t ignore me.”
“Why not?” She whips around and juts her pointer finger into the center of his chest. Even though he’s at least ten inches taller than her, somehow, he seems to be the one who cowers. “You threw my friend into a lake!”
“I did not throw her into a lake.” He exhales sharply, his grin wavering just slightly as he runs a hand through his hair. “I spun her around and then tried to place her in what I thought was a very gentle way back on the ground, and she…slipped!”
“You threw her in.”
“I did not—”
“Wait,” I interrupt. “You threw me in?”
“Oh my god, for the last time, I did not—” He grabs his temples and then freezes, narrowing his eyes at me.
They widen in alarm. “Shit! You’re her. I did not throw you in, I promise.
At least, I didn’t mean to throw you in.
Fuck! I don’t really even know what happened.
One second, I thought you were Nova, and then Nova was over there, and when I turned around, you were already halfway over the rope.
I might’ve been a little drunk, and— I’m sorry!
” He drops dramatically to his knees and takes my hand in both of his, pleading with me.
People start to stare, but like Nova, he seems the sort not to care.
“Please, forgive me. Please. Pretty please. If it makes you feel better, I felt like a total asshole all night and all morning. I had no idea that was going to happen, and I’m actually a nice person, I swear. ”
Nova snorts.
He glances up derisively. “Ignore her.”
My brain is running on hyperdrive, too fast to follow. I scrunch my brow. “Wait. I thought Logan threw me in the lake.”
“He did,” Nova agrees.
“I did not.” The guy stands and stares at Nova in exasperation.
I point at him, still slow on the uptake. “You’re Logan?”
“Yes,” Nova answers, suddenly intrigued. “He’s Logan. Also known as the thorn in my side for the past twelve years. Why? Who’d you think he was?”
“I thought…” The words disappear into nothing as last night flashes through my mind. I heard that name and everything happened so fast. I was so scared. I wasn’t fully present, wasn’t totally aware. I just assumed…
Fuck.
“I thought your brother was Logan,” I finally say, dread curdling in my gut.
“Ohhhh.” She laughs it off, completely unaware of how run over by a truck I’m starting to feel.
“No, my brother’s name is Nox. Sorry. They sort of go together, right?
Nova and Nox. My mom thought it was a cute twin thing or whatever.
I think she was just high when she came up with it.
But anyway, I probably should’ve explained.
I just figured you recognized him last night. ”
“Recognized him?” My throat goes dry.
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “It feels like everyone does after last summer.”
“Last summer?” I swallow. Hospital beds and traumatic brain injuries aren’t exactly conducive to keeping up with pop culture. I rack my brain for some idea of what she’s talking about, but it’s Logan who provides the answer.
“My boy got five gold medals in Paris.” He smiles proudly as if the achievement were his own.