Chapter 29
Ablanket of murkiness has settled over the world—my world. My muddled thoughts aren’t processing. Sounds around me are muted. No, silent. Nothing moves. Nothing breaks the silence. Nothing matters.
All because of my sister’s choices. Her decision to leave me behind.
We were supposed to do things together. Our fates are inextricably intertwined.
Yet she still ran from me as if I wasn’t enough for her.
I thought I’d dealt with my inadequacy when it came to my sister.
I spent too much time comparing us. Her light outshone my dark.
She was always the kinder twin, the happier twin, the better twin.
Our aunt used to say we were two sides of the same coin.
Yet when a coin is flipped, there’s always a side landing facedown.
I groan and curl into a ball, burrowing under the covers. A dry, musty smell wafts over me, and I sink into the darkness once more.
At least I try to. The void in my mind doesn’t embrace me. Instead, it ejects me into reality, and a choked sob falls from my cracked lips. I clamp my hand over my mouth and swallow down my tears. Nothing good will come from wallowing. Except the words feel hollow.
Still, I force myself to sit up. It takes another five minutes for me to register the dark room around me. I thought the quiet, the nothingness, was in my mind. Unfortunately, it was also in my room.
When I finally swing my legs around and attempt to stand, I crumple back onto the mattress.
I went to the bathroom while I was lost in my emotions.
My body should technically work. Then again, I might have crawled there and just forgotten.
As I stumble toward the toilet, my brain clears away the cobwebs.
At least enough to realize how utterly alone I am.
Lark and I haven’t gone longer than a few days without talking. Except for this last time. I waited too long. It’s my fault. She suffered because I convinced myself she was fine.
Dimitri said she was in that cage. How long did she waste away in there, her magic slowly draining, while I shied away from the truth? While I was running around dragon realms and fucking a demon, she was wondering if anyone out there would save her.
I don’t care what her note said. None of it matters until we talk face to face.
She could have stayed, waited until I was in front of her.
Then she could go off on whatever adventure she wanted.
Rage stirs in my gut, and I splash water on my face to shock my system out of it.
The light above the mirror flickers, and my gaze snaps up.
“Dimitri?” I call softly. I close my eyes, waiting for the telltale sign of his imminent arrival. No demons crash to the ground. No feet shuffle down the hall. No thunder rolls overhead.
I clamp my lips together and swing my gaze to the ceiling, refusing to cry.
No one owes me anything. Percy probably doesn’t even know I’m here.
Dimitri kept his promise, then his duty was done.
I can’t fault him for washing his hands of me.
I brought nothing but trouble to his life.
He didn’t seem to mind me tagging along, or fucking me.
Still, he didn’t sign up for this. I glance down at my wrinkled shirt, and greasy strands flop over my shoulders.
I sigh and head back to the bathroom. Even after showering, eating, and making myself a large pot of coffee, I’m still empty inside.
I end up staring out the window as the shadows from the leaves dance on the ground, then disappear with the setting sun.
Minutes—hours, maybe—pass until the front door creaks open. I don’t bother to look at who it is.
The light flicks on, and I shy away from the harshness. “Oh, Mari. Out of bed so soon? Thought you’d waste away, never to be seen again.”
I blink at her reflection in the window. I know her, I just can’t remember…
Worry flashes across her face before she plasters on a large, fake smile.
She disappears into the kitchen with a bunch of bags.
I’d ask if she was moving in, but I don’t really care.
Until Lark comes back, nothing matters. Pain hits me when Dimitri crosses my mind.
No matter how much I try to forget him, he still worms his way back in.
He made his intentions clear. Our time together was fun, short, and is now over.
“So, I thought about making soup tonight. Except that’s all you’ve been eating for the last three weeks, so maybe sandwiches. Ooh, or grilled cheese. I got some homemade bread from your neighbor. And I took all your packages. Oh, and cheesecake for dessert.”
Questions pile on my tongue, crowding my mouth and weighing me down.
Percy. That’s who it is. I’m not surprised she’s here, but she seems to know I’m not sick.
I’m just…dazed. She babbles on while clanging around in the kitchen.
I tune her out until she says my demon’s name.
I wince, rejecting the idea of him being mine.
We were a fling. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Percy crouches in front of me, and I finally meet her gaze.
“Mari, I need something from you. Something more than sobbing or begging that demon to stay.” She huffs when I pull my brows low.
“Yeah, you were pretty out of it. The little lightning thief filled me in. Lark wouldn’t want you to do this.
She’d want you to…go on with your life until she could come back.
And I’d know. I was friends with her for a long time. ”
I swallow hard and shake my head. Waiting for Lark is all I have. How do I explain that to Percy? How do I put our bond into words? How do I tell her it’s all my fault Lark is gone?
“I know what you’re thinking. You’re all wrapped up in guilt and shame.
Guilt for not coming sooner—for not knowing she was in trouble.
Being ashamed for shacking up with a demon while she was missing.
Except you knew. That’s why I never freaked out.
After we figured out Dusty wasn’t hiding her somewhere, I trusted you.
If you weren’t worried about her, then I wouldn’t be either. ”
“I was worried,” I croak. “Too scared to admit it.”
She nods like she understands. She doesn’t. She can’t. “Listen, and I mean really listen. Lark knew what she was doing. And you wallowing like this only does her a disservice. She’d be pretty pissed at you for doubting her.”
“She was in a cage.”
She slaps her thighs, then pushes to her feet. “Yup. Except those cages don’t really do anything other than keep you inside. At least that’s what Dimitri said. Speaking of…”
“Don’t,” I whisper harshly, glancing out the window at the darkness. It reminds me of the void. Which reminds me of the dragon realm. Which leads back to Dimitri.
Percy holds up her hands in surrender. “Okay. I won’t say anything.
I won’t tell you to get your shit together and go find him.
I won’t tell you to confess your feelings to him.
And I certainly won’t tell you to bring him some fries when you do it.
Oh, by the way, that big black book keeps following me around.
It’s fucking creepy so if you could, ya know, deal with that. ”
She prances off to the kitchen. I’m not ready to think about her words.
Digesting them would mean admitting truths I’m not ready to face.
Maybe tomorrow. Or next week. Or whenever Lark deems it necessary to include me in her life once more.
A familiar bolt of rage hits me, and I shove it down again.
“Okay, I know we said we weren’t going to talk about it, but I need to know—did you sleep with him? Because I need to know if my theory of them being amazing in the sack checks out,” Percy calls over something sizzling in a pan.
My lips twitch, but I’m not ready to feel anything other than abject misery. She continues speaking as if I answered. I wonder how many times she’s had to carry on a conversation with herself. Much like I did when my sister’s voice was resonating in my head. She’s silent now—beyond my mind’s reach.
“You know, I was thinking you could ask Dimitri about scrying. Or maybe the other one who stopped by if you’re hell-bent on not talking to him.”
“What other one?”
“She speaks!” Percy flounces into the living room again, a spatula in her hand. “Yes, the tiny one with the hair that kept changing colors. She said everything should be good now. And something about soulbound, but I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s two souls bound together through space and time,” I murmur, my mind half on the conversation. Karma showing up here isn’t something I expected. We don’t know each other. She should be with Dimitri. Or going off and raining down consequences on unsuspecting assholes.
“Well, I was barely paying attention. She’s cute. Like, really cute. She must have gotten all the good genes in that setup.”
“I don’t—”
“Because they’re twins and all. Her and Dimitri. Honestly, if Karma dropped out of a closet on top of me, I’d be smitten for sure.”
“How did you…”
“Oh, the gossip was hot, honey. Plus, with you not really giving me the story, I had to ask someone. Anyhoo, about the book? I know it’s such a small thing compared to, well, everything, but it’s really freaking me out. That little witchy friend of yours needs it back.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and search my memories. I don’t remember getting the book from a witch. I sift through each snapshot in reverse. Dimitri bringing me home. Lark’s note. Hitting Ludo with the skillet. Successfully creating a portal.
There.
The return of Lark’s voice has me swallowing a sob.
I don’t have time to worry about that right now.
Dimitri disappeared and, like clockwork, a witch appeared at his door.
She waltzed right in like she owned the place, then apologized.
A lot. When I calmed down enough to tell her what was going on, a black book much larger than Necromancy appeared.
She scoffed, handed it to me, then left me to my own devices—said I needed to do it on my own or it wouldn’t work.
That’s how I created the portal. That’s how I found Dimitri.
It wasn’t divine intervention or his curse. It was a spell, plain and simple.
Which means I need to return it. To Hell. If I run into Dimitri…I’ll deal with that when—if—the time comes.
I stand abruptly and Percy jolts away. “I’m going to take it back. Now.”
“Like, right now? Dude, you just got up. Maybe eat first?”
I shake my head and head for the bedroom.
Real clothes will be needed. Especially if I plan on seeing people.
As I tug on a pair of jeans, I spot the black spellbook.
It’s filled with all sorts of charms, enchantments, and hexes, not to mention pathways into Hell.
I won’t be needing those. In fact, I doubt I’ll need anything from this ancient tome anymore.
Glancing toward my door, I contemplate whether or not to tell Percy I’m going.
Instead, I scribble a note and leave it at that.
I end up sneaking down the hallway, then through the kitchen, and finally to Lark’s spell room.
Percy’s nowhere to be found, thankfully.
This time there aren’t any funny noises or strange lights.
The candles wait for a spark, and the circle sits open, waiting for another victim.
A chill rolls down my spine as I hug the book to my chest. I don’t know what awaits me in Hell. Probably nothing. I’ll most likely be right back here in no time. Back to wallowing and wondering where the fuck Lark went off to. And where I went wrong with Dimitri.