36. Cameron
Cameron
I really thought I’d be out of here by now.
I thought after the first round of chemo, after the blood tests and transfusions, after getting my immune system strong enough to function without crashing, they’d let me go home for a while.
At least give me a second to pretend that my life hasn’t completely crumbled under the weight of this disease again.
But that hasn’t been the case.
The chemo is helping, but not as much as they’d like. The numbers aren’t bouncing back the way they hoped. The cancer is more aggressive this time—more stubborn, more vicious.
After all this time has gone by, now it wants to come back and be crueler than ever.
And as much as I want to stay positive, it’s getting hard.
Because I know how this disease works. I know the good cases, the ones where remission sticks and people go on to live full, healthy lives.
I also know the other side. I know how fast it can all turn.
How many times I’ve had to sit across from parents and kids who look at me with hope in their eyes, asking if they’re going to make it, and I can’t give them an answer.
I try to push those thoughts aside as best as I can, but they linger, clawing at the back of my mind.
I know too much about this disease, and it’s making it all a lot scarier.
* * *
Gabrielle, Wes, and Kinsley are all huddled around my hospital bed, completely immersed in a game of Monopoly.
“I swear, if you put another hotel on Boardwalk, I’m breaking up with you,” Gabrielle warns, narrowing her eyes at me.
I smirk, lazily shaking the dice in my hand. “I thought you liked a man who’s financially responsible?”
“Financially responsible, yes. A money-hoarding tyrant, no.”
Wes snorts from across the table. “Tell us how you really feel.”
“I will,” she says, shooting him a pointed look. “After I get out of jail for the third time this game, which, by the way, is starting to feel like a personal attack.”
“You just have bad luck,” I tease.
Kinsley grins, nudging Wes. “Remind me never to play another board game with these two. The tension is insane.”
“Please,” Wes says. “I live for this. I’m thriving and thoroughly entertained.”
“You’re losing,” I point out.
Wes glares at me. “Okay, Dr. Browne, don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m making my comeback.”
“Tell that to your empty bank account. And Dr.Browne? The woman with cancer in The Good Doctor? Really? You’re getting worse at these comparisons.” I mutter under my breath, organizing my bills.
“A doctor with cancer,” he waves. “The rest is details. And you listen here,” Wes says, dramatically leaning forward, “I might be financially struggling right now, but at least I still have my dignity.”
Kinsley hums. “Debatable.”
“Extremely debatable,” I add, smirking.
Wes throws his hands up. “I don’t like how I’m being treated here.”
Gabrielle rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling, and for a moment, everything feels normal for a change. Like we’re not sitting in a hospital room. Like I’m not sick. Like I haven’t spent the last two months watching my body betray me all over again.
I want to hold onto this moment.
Gabrielle glances at the clock, sighing. “Alright, I should walk Kinsley out.”
She looks reluctant to leave, so I squeeze her hand under the table, silently telling her it’s okay.
“I’ll be back,” she tells me.
“I’ll be here,” I say, keeping my tone light, even though we both know I don’t actually have any other option.
Kinsley stands, stretching out a little. “Come on, let’s go before Wes gets desperate and starts robbing the bank.”
Wes gasps. “Wow. That’s crazy. I would never—”
Gabrielle gives him a look.
“…be dumb enough to get caught,” Wes corrects.
I shake my head, laughing, as the girls leave the room.
Once the door swings shut, Wes turns to me, his smirk fading. “So…how are you feeling?”
I exhale, leaning my head back against the pillow. “I’m tired.”
Wes studies me, his usual easygoing demeanor dimming slightly. “It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”
I don’t answer right away. I don’t have to. He already knows. I try not to talk about my treatment or progress much, but I know he can tell.
“It’s just…” I sigh, rubbing my fingers over my jaw. “This time feels different. It’s hitting harder. The cancer’s more aggressive. And I’m so…damn…tired, Wes.”
He nods slowly, his expression starting to look more worried, even though he’s trying to hide it. “Yeah, well, you’re fighting harder than anyone I’ve ever seen. You’re allowed to be tired. But you’re not allowed to give up.”
I look up at him. “I want to fight. I am fighting. But it’s scary, man.”
Wes swallows, rubbing the back of his neck. “I know.”
And he does. Maybe not in the same way Gabrielle does, but he’s seen the worst parts of this disease up close, too—he’s seen the losses, the miracles, the ones who barely made it out—the ones who didn’t.
He gives me a soft smile. “You’re gonna beat this, Cam. If anyone can, it’s you. After everything you’ve been through and everything you’ve given back to so many others, this isn’t how the story ends. It can’t be.”
A lump forms in my throat, and I try to clear it. “You’re getting a little too sentimental, man. Don’t go getting soft on me.”
Wes scoffs, leaning back in his chair. “Shut up. I’m allowed to have emotions. Don’t make this weird.”
I smirk. “You’ve already made it weird.”
He flips me off.
“Speaking of emotions…you wanna tell me what’s going on with you and Kinsley?”
Wes makes a face. “What? Nothing.”
I arch a brow. “Really?”
He scowls. “Not everything needs to be dissected, Cam.”
“Sure,” I say, not convinced. “Hmm, it’s different with her, huh?”
Wes hesitates. Then, finally, he exhales, shaking his head. “Maybe.”
He doesn’t say anything else, but he doesn’t need to. I see it.
I’ve never seen any woman keep his attention like this.
I’m weirdly happy for them even if they won’t admit anything is happening between them.
They’ll get there eventually. Hopefully.
I want to see my best friend happy. I want him to have someone.
Especially…you know, if I won’t always be around.
It’s been just the two of us for so long now.
I need him to be okay if I don’t get better this time.
I smirk. “It’s about time you man up and leave those commitment issues behind.”
Wes scoffs. “Please, those issues are still alive and well.”
Just then, the door opens, and Gabrielle steps back inside.
“I’m heading home for a bit,” she says, brushing her fingers lightly over my arm. “Your parents just called me. They’re on their way, so I should be back around the same time that they get here.”
I nod. “Okay.”
Wes stands, stretching. “I’ll walk her out.”
I narrow my eyes. “Alright, man. Keep the flirting with my girl to a minimum on your way out.”
Wes grins. “Can’t make any promises.”
Gabrielle rolls her eyes, kissing my forehead before following him out.
And then I’m alone again.
For the first time in hours, the room is quiet, and I let myself relax a little. Not having to put on the mask for everyone around me.
I can be not okay for a moment and not have anyone trying to fix that.