45. Gabrielle
Gabrielle
Sitting on the edge of Cam’s bed, I fold the last of his T-shirts and stuff them into his hospital bag. Every single item in this bag feels too real—like a start to the countdown to one of the hardest parts of this journey.
Cam is sitting on the floor beside the bed, leaning back against it, rolling a pair of socks between his fingers like he has all the time in the world. His long legs stretched out in front of him, and even though he looks tired, there’s still this teasing smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.
“I meant what I said,” he murmurs, tossing the socks into the bag.
I glance down at him. “You say a lot of things, babe. You gotta be more specific.”
His smirk deepens as he tips his head back against the mattress, looking up at me with those dark, beautiful eyes. “I’m marrying you after the transplant.”
My hands freeze over the zipper of the bag, my heart stumbling over his words.
We haven’t set a date for the wedding. With treatments and the looming transplant, we haven’t focused much on it.
I swallow. “Cam…”
“I don’t care how this goes,” he interrupts.
“I don’t even care if it takes or not. I don’t care how long it takes for me to recover.
I don’t care how bad it gets. I don’t care if I have to say my vows from a damn hospital bed.
” He reaches for my hand, threading our fingers together. “I’m ready for you to be my wife.”
I squeeze his hand, the emotions getting heavy in my throat. “You need to focus on getting better first.”
“I am,” he says softly, rubbing slow circles against my palm with his thumb. “That’s exactly what I’ll be doing. Because the second I’m strong enough, I’m making you a Hayes.”
His words settle deep inside my chest, warm and terrifying all at once.
I’ve imagined this moment, imagined marrying him, for my whole life.
I’ve pictured building a life together. But I never imagined it would happen like this.
With a clock running in the background. With the future feeling so uncertain.
I turn fully toward him, shifting down until I’m sitting on the floor next to him.
My knees bump against his, and I rest my hands against his jaw, holding his face between my palms. “I think I’ve known I was gonna marry you since we were kids, Cam.
And over the years, that never changed. I always pictured it was you at the end of the aisle when I imagined my wedding. ”
A slow, tired smile spreads across his lips. “Yeah, I’ve known I was going to marry you since I was seven years old, and I had no clue what that really meant. I just knew I had to find a way to keep this really cool girl in my life forever.”
I close my eyes for a second, breathing him in. He feels so solid under my hands, so warm and alive.
I swallow hard and pull back slightly, my fingers still resting along his jaw. “Cam…can I ask you something?”
His dark eyes flicker with curiosity. “Of course.”
I hesitate, licking my lips, trying to find the right words. “Do you…still want kids?”
His brows pull together, his grip on me tensing slightly. “Gab—”
“I mean, neither of us probably can, right?” I push through, my voice cracking slightly.
“With everything we’ve been through…the treatments, the damage it does…
I’ve never even let myself consider the idea because I figured it wasn’t in the cards for me.
” My throat tightens, but I force myself to finish.
“I just…I don’t want you to resent me for it later.
For not being able to give you a family. ”
Cam exhales slowly, reaching up to brush his fingers along my cheek. “Gabrielle,” he murmurs. “There’s nothing to resent.”
I shake my head. “But—”
“No buts,” he interrupts. “I don’t care how we have a family. I don’t care if we have to adopt or foster or just have a home full of animals. As long as I have you in that home, that’s the only thing that has ever mattered to me.”
Tears prick at the back of my eyes, and I hate how raw and exposed this conversation makes me feel. “Adoption? You’ve really thought about that?”
He nods. “Of course I have. I’ve thought about everything with you, Gabrielle. I’ve pictured every scenario of what life would look like together in my head. All I want is to do life with you—however that looks.”
I let out a shaky breath, staring at him. “I just…I didn’t want you to feel like you were losing something because of me.”
He shakes his head and pulls me in closer, his forehead pressing against mine. “This disease has taken that choice from both of us, not just you. But I’m not losing anything, Gabs. I’m gaining everything with you.”
My heart wants to explode at his words—melt into his and permanently attach itself to his beautiful soul.
“And besides,” he murmurs. “You know how much I love kids. If we ever decide we want them, we’ll figure it out—together.”
I nod, trying to keep myself from full-on crying because I tend to be doing that way too often lately.
“Yeah. Together.”
“We’re gonna have a beautiful life, Gabrielle,” he says softly.
I nod, brushing my fingers over his jaw. “We already do.”
And even though we’re about to walk into another hard fight, I hold onto that. I hold onto him and his dreams.