Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lydia stared at the clock in the dark, watching the hours tick by, knowing that she still had three more to go before the sun started to rise again. She’d been awake all night, and at this point, she didn’t see that changing.
Sighing, she inched her way out of bed and went downstairs, turning on a dim light as she headed toward the kitchen for a glass of water.
Grabbing a glass from the cupboard, she pressed it against the refrigerator dispenser, gasping when Ty walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.” He wrapped her up tighter against the warmth of his body as he held her gaze in the window’s reflection. “Can’t sleep?”
She sipped the water. “No.”
“Come with me,” he said, putting the glass on the counter as he captured her hand and walked with her to the couch. He took a seat on one of the middle cushions, then pulled her down on top of him, holding her gaze as she straddled him. “Is this okay?”
She nodded, even though sitting like this was new. But she didn’t hate it.
He settled his hands on her hips. “I think it’s safe to say that we’ve both been staring in the dark for hours. How about you talk to me instead.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”
“Obviously, our night didn’t end with ice cream and a movie.”
“Which I’m sure you immediately reported to your FBI buddies.”
His brow furrowed slightly. “Don’t get pissed at me for doing my job. That’s not fair, Lyd.”
She sighed as she stared at his glorious pecs, knowing that he was right. “I’m sorry.”
He moved his palms to her thighs, sliding them up and down in soothing strokes. “It’s okay.”
She shook her head as she looked at him again. “Nothing about this situation is okay. Everything about tonight took me by complete surprise.”
He nodded. “I can’t say I saw that one coming either.”
She hesitated before she let her hands wander along the smooth skin of his excellent triceps. “Mac’s marriage is falling apart. She thinks Will is cheating on her, and she didn’t tell me.”
“Maybe she’s not ready to talk about it yet.”
“I just—We’ve been here for days, and she’s said nothing. We tell each other everything.” She rolled her eyes as she shook her head. “I guess maybe that’s not true for either one of us, is it?”
“She probably just needs some time.”
She sighed as she thought of Mac crying—of how devastated and vulnerable she’d sounded as she asked her husband if he was being unfaithful.
“I just wonder how long all of this has been going on. How long has she been dealing with this all by herself? She said weeks to Will, but how many does that mean?”
His hands moved to stroke up and down her back now. “I don’t know, Lyd.”
“I feel like I’m responsible to some degree—for why she feels like she can’t tell me.”
He frowned. “Nothing about their problems is your fault.”
She shrugged. “She’s comparing their relationship to ours. She sees a happy couple, but she has no idea that we’re a lie.”
“We’re not a lie, Lyd. What we have is different, but it’s not a lie.”
She sighed again, hating that any of this was happening. “I want them to be okay. More than anything, I want that for them.”
“They’re struggling. There’s no doubt about it. But it seems like there’s still plenty of love there. We’ve seen that for ourselves over the last few days.”
She nodded, letting her hands settle on his shoulders. “Thank you.”
His brow furrowed again. “For what?”
“For listening,” she said as she moved to caress her fingers along the nape of his neck. “For always being a shoulder for me to lean on.”
“I like our talks.”
She nodded as her gaze wandered to his mouth before it locked on his again, seeing the desire in his eyes—like she had last night when the fireworks exploded in the sky. “Me, too.”
He clenched his jaw as his hands stopped their gentle slide against her back. “Lyd.”
“Hmm?”
“We can’t.” But even as he said so, he pulled her closer.
She nodded again, knowing that there were rules—lines that were not to be crossed—but currently, she didn’t care as she closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.
He stiffened as his fingers tensed against her skin.
“Let me kiss you,” she murmured against his mouth as she stared into his blurry gaze. “I want to kiss you.”
And then he groaned as he dove in, sliding his tongue against hers.
She moaned, wrapping her arms around the back of his neck as he cupped her cheeks, taking the kiss deeper.
Tongues tangled greedily as mouths came back together time and again—as his hands wandered under her cami top—first along her back and then her front, cupping her breasts in his palms.
She gasped as she arched, not wanting him to stop touching her.
“Lyd,” he whispered as his lips moved in a trail down her neck, then along her shoulders as he pulled her cami straps down her arms, exposing her breasts.
“God, you’re gorgeous,” he murmured as he teased her nipples with gentle slides of his thumbs before he took turns pulling her into his mouth, bathing her sensitive skin with soft strokes of his tongue.
“Mmm,” she whimpered as he clutched at her butt—as she rocked herself against him, feeling his erection through the barrier of his underwear and her shorts.
His mouth found hers again for another deep kiss before he let out a painful groan and pulled away, staring into her eyes as his breath steamed out in torrents. “This can’t happen. It can’t happen, Lyd.”
She nodded, breathing just as hard as he was. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “I promise you that there’s no one sorrier than me.”
She pulled her cami straps back up her arms and got up.
“Hey,” he said as he snagged her by the hand. “Are you okay? Are we okay?”
She nodded. “We’ll chalk the whole thing up to a messy night.”
He kept her fingers clutched in his. “If this were any other situation…”
She nodded again.
“Me saying that we can’t isn’t me saying that I don’t want to.”
“I know.” But she let him go, heading back to the counter for her water, still trying to process how she felt about what had just happened.
Taking a cooling sip, she cleared her throat as she moved back to the couch, where Ty fixed himself in his boxer briefs.
“I’m going to watch a little TV before I head back to bed. ”
“I’ll watch with you. If that’s okay.”
She nodded. “Sure.”
He captured her hand again, holding her gaze. “You’re sure we’re all right?”
She nodded again, even as she tried to decide if she was more embarrassed about the fact that she’d just thrown herself at him or the fact that she’d let herself forget that Ty saw her as a friend and he was trying not to hurt her feelings after putting on the brakes.
“Lie down with me, Lyd.”
She hesitated as she nearly told him that they shouldn’t, but the last thing she wanted was to make their situation any more awkward than it already was. “Okay,” she said, settling on the cushions next to him.
He covered them up with the soft throw, then reached over her for the remote before he hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. “Are we thinking of a show or a movie?”
She swallowed as she stared at the TV, trying to keep her body relaxed as Ty clearly tried to move them beyond the cringeworthy moment. “Uh, you pick.”
“I’m thinking that we should watch a couple episodes of Bluey. Everly mentioned it several times today, and I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.”
She looked at him, sending him a small smile, wishing that he didn’t have to be so damn adorable. “Bluey’s a cartoon dog.”
“Yeah, I got that part. I just figured that if we watch a couple of episodes, I’ll be able to have a conversation with her about it.”
She smiled again as she held his gaze, trying to figure out how she was supposed to not completely fall for him. “It sounds like we should watch Bluey, then.”
He cued it up and pressed play on the remote, snuggling her close again. “Just in case we fall asleep… Night, Lyd.”
“Night,” she said, cocooned in his warmth, dozing off minutes later.
Ty’s eyes flew open in the bright light pouring in through the windows as Lydia stirred on the couch next to him. He smiled as she turned her head on the pillow that they shared and met his gaze. “Morning.”
She smiled back, looking exhausted and beautiful after a measly three hours of sleep. “Morning.”
“I think we missed our episodes of Bluey. I saw the introduction, but I can’t remember anything else.”
She grinned. “I guess we’ll have to try again tonight.”
He hesitated before he hooked his arm tighter around her waist, not entirely sure where things stood after their early morning make-out session. “Is this all right?”
She nodded as she rolled onto her side. “I’m really sorry, Ty. For this morning. For throwing myself at you.”
He shook his head. “There’s no need to apologize. This entire situation is confusing.”
She nodded. “It certainly can be.”
“You’re a gorgeous woman, Lyd. I like the hell out of you. We just can’t go there.” And he’d never spoken truer words when he told her how sorry he was after he stopped them. Everything about Lydia was exceptional. It wasn’t lost on him that he was missing out.
She nodded. “I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself.”
He shook his head again. “You don’t have to keep your hands to yourself. I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself.”
“I guess my lips, then.”
He sent her a small smile, regretting all over again that she wasn’t his to have. “We had a bit of a blip. It’s no big deal.”
She sighed as she nodded. “I guess the next question is, now what?”
He shrugged as he shook his head. “I’m not entirely sure. Obviously, something’s going on with Will, but I don’t think it’s an affair. There’s absolutely no proof of that in any of the surveillance.”
She nodded. “I’m going to talk to Mac today. Maybe she’ll let me in.”
“I was planning to do the same with Will—meet him in the gym for our workout.”
She snagged her sexy bottom lip with her teeth as worry furrowed her brow.
“What?”
“If Mac confides in me, what she says is private. I know that I’m then supposed to confide in you, but I don’t want to, Ty. Because I’m not confiding in you. I’m telling the FBI.”
He clenched his jaw, loathing this operation more and more. “How about I let you decide what you think I need to know. Or you can tell me whatever you want to tell me, and we’ll decide together what stays between you and me and what I give to my co-workers.”
She nodded. “Okay. But just—just remember that they’re hurting. This should be their problem. Only theirs.”
It bothered him that she felt like she needed to remind him of that. “I don’t like this any more than you do, Lyd.”
She nodded again.
“Can I make you some breakfast?”
She shook her head as she pushed the covers back and stood. “I’m okay. I’m going to get dressed and see what I can do for Mac.”
He watched her walk away, knowing that something had changed between them—and it wasn’t for the better. Lydia was pulling back, and he couldn’t necessarily blame her. The case was potentially heating up, and there was nowhere for their “relationship” to go.
Sighing as he got up, he folded the blanket and headed upstairs himself, needing to put on some clothes so he could get back to his job.