CHAPTER NINETEEN Familiar Silence
previous conversation had evaporated overnight.
"Breakfast?"Maya stared at the ceiling."I thought you were working.
""Not until noon.""I thought the athlete emergency ruined the weekend.
" "It ruined Palm Springs. Doesn't mean we can't eat.
" "You couldn't call me last night?"A pause.
"I said I was exhausted.""It takes thirty seconds to say goodnight.
"Jalen sighed.The sound transported Maya backward.
"Here we go," he said.Her body went cold.
"What does that mean?""Nothing.""No. Say it.
""It means I don't want to spend my morning defending
why I went to sleep.""I'm not asking you to defend sleep. I'm asking why your communication changes whenever something doesn't go your way."
"Maya, it's nine in the morning.""And?""And I called to ask you to breakfast, not get
interrogated."There it was.Interrogated.Another old word.Maya sat up."You know what? Never mind.""Fine."He hung up.She stared at the phone, furious.Then ashamed.Had she overreacted? Maybe. Had she brought old fears
into a new relationship? Definitely. Tasha had warned her she was not meeting Jalen as a blank slate.Maya took a shower and tried to calm down.At eleven, flowers arrived.Red roses.No note, just Jalen's name on the delivery ticket.Maya laughed despite herself.At noon he texted.Jalen: You done being mad at me?
Maya: Are you done acting like my feelings are an inconvenience?
Jalen: Fair.A few seconds later:Jalen: I'm sorry.The apology eased her.That afternoon he came over with lunch.
He kissed her forehead, wrapped his arms around her from behind, and admitted his work stress had been high.
"I shut down when I feel like somebody wants something from me and I don't have it to give," he said.Maya turned in his arms. "Then say that.
Don't punish me with silence.""I wasn't punishing you.
""It feels like punishment."He nodded. "Okay.
I'll work on it."Maya believed him.For another week, things were good.Then the silence returned.This time it was after Maya asked who he had been texting during dinner.
"A client," Jalen said."At ten-thirty at night?
""Athletes don't keep banker hours.""I didn't say they did.
""Then why ask?"Maya stared at him."Because you're smiling at your phone.
""So?"The defensiveness came too quickly.Maya's stomach tightened.
"Show me."Jalen's expression changed."Excuse me?
""If it's a client, show me."He placed the phone face down.
"We're not doing that.""Doing what?""Going through phones.
Tracking each other. I left that teenage mess behind.
"Maya felt heat rise into her face."You cheated on me when we were teenagers.
""And there it is.""You know why secrecy bothers me.
""I'm not paying forever for something I did at eighteen.
""Then don't behave in a way that looks the same.
"Jalen pushed back from the table."I'm going home.
""Jalen.""I am not arguing with your trauma every time my phone lights up.
"He left before she could answer.Maya sat at the table alone.Her first instinct was to call him.Her second was to apologize.Her third, quieter and more frightening, was to remember Andre.Andre had never made a question feel like an accusation.