Chapter Eleven
Charlie and I haven’t had time to discuss how we left things before he busted that party on the Fourth of July, and I’m anxious to continue the conversation.
The last week and a half has been awful with my delivery truck getting off-schedule, recovering from my cold, the aftermath of my fight with Thea, and trying to make her appointments.
He’s understood that whatever we are is on the back-burner right now.
I just dropped Thea off at another therapy appointment. I venture back out to the car while I wait and text Charlie, asking him to meet me in the parking lot if he isn’t busy.
I’m sitting in the car, anxiously scanning the lot for any sign of him.
I watch as his squad car pulls in and he looks around, searching for my vehicle.
He catches sight of me and slowly drives over to park beside me.
He cuts the engine and then tentatively gets out.
Shutting the door behind him, he leans against the car. I get out of mine and do the same.
The sky above us is overcast. The weather forecast is calling for a thunderstorm this morning and it seems to be making its way across Driftbay. I can smell it. When you’ve lived here as long as I have, you can just tell when trouble is rolling in.
“Hey,” Charlie says quietly, breaking the silence between us.
“Hi.” I fidget with the hem of my shirt, avoiding his eyes. “Thanks for meeting me. Life has just been crazy lately.”
From Raquel’s report, he hasn’t been in the diner for a couple of days, giving me space.
“Of course.” He pauses before approaching the next subject. “How’s Thea doing?”
I sigh. “She’s better than when you last saw her.” It’s a lame attempt to make him laugh. “Thank you, for bringing her home that night, by the way. She started seeing a therapist last week.”
“Good, good.” His eyes travel across the parking lot and he clears his throat. We both stand there awkwardly, unsure of how to carry on. We’ve been dancing around this line for years.
“So, you wanted to talk?” Charlie asks, taking the lead like he always does.
“Yes,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest, trying to hug myself in comfort. “No,” I sigh, “I don’t know.” I let out an awkward laugh in an effort to ease the newfound tension between us.
He laughs, but it’s strained. “Beth Ann…” he trails off.
“I know.” I shake my head in agreement. “We need to.” I shuffle my feet. I don’t know why this is so hard. This is Charlie, my best friend. I can talk to him about anything.
So why can’t I tell him I’ve loved him for years?
“How about I start?” He reaches for my hand and I uncross my arms. He takes my hand in his and runs his thumb over my knuckles. The contact makes my skin tingle under his touch.
Charlie stands tall and proud against his squad car; if he’s anxious, he’s not showing it. I, on the other hand, can’t quit squirming under his gaze.
“You lied to me,” he says, his voice gravelly, “numerous times.”
“I did. I own that and I’m sorry.” I feel like I’ll be saying that a lot during this conversation.
He clears his throat again before he asks, “Why did you lie about being upset that I was going on a date?”
“I think you know why,” I say. I’ve already admitted that I love him; it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why I’d be upset that he went on a date with someone else.
“I want to hear your explanation. I think I’m owed that much.”
I swallow before I answer. “You’re right.
I realized I had feelings for you years ago.
Big feelings. I didn’t know what to do with them.
I was scared that if I acted on them, you wouldn’t reciprocate, and it would ruin our friendship.
You’re my stability.” I steady my stance now and push off the car.
“I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, so I decided that if having you as my best friend was the best I could get, then so be it.
I’d deal with it. And it worked for a while. ”
He nods slowly to get me to continue. “Until I got together with someone else,” he finishes.
“I thought lying about it would keep the peace. Keep you in my life if things got serious between you and some other woman.”
“Beth Ann, I’ll always be in your life.” Charlie smiles. “You can’t get rid of me. You should know that by now.”
“I know,” I say, smiling slightly. I glance down at our connected hands. “I just get anxious sometimes.”
Thunder claps in the distance and we both glance up at the darkening sky.
"Losing Caroline and everything going on with Thea, and hell, even Judith has been on me about it. It’s just all shown me that life really is short and that I truly do love you.
Look, Charlie, you’ve been my best friend since college.
You are one of the most important people in my life.
I don’t want to do anything that jeopardizes that.
I don’t think I could survive without you. ”
“That will never happen,” he mutters as he reaches up and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Besides, it was never going to work out with someone else.”
“Why’s that?” I ask. I look up to meet his gaze, and our eyes lock.
“Because I love you, too, Beth Ann.”
Relief washes over me at the sound of those words and for a moment, I don’t believe I’ve heard him correctly.
My heart flutters in my chest and I can’t stop the smile that starts spreading across my face. For so long, I’ve wanted to hear those words hang from his lips, to know that my feelings are reciprocated.
“It was never going to work with anyone else, because it’s always been you. Even though you’ve been stubborn enough to not let me love you all these years. Won’t you let me?”
The sky above us starts weeping. Raindrops plummet to the ground, splattering all around. I feel my hair start to dampen and droplets cling to my eyelashes.
“I’m scared, Charlie,” I say.
“Scared of what?” he pleads. “Let yourself be happy.”
“What if it doesn’t work out?” My voice is small. “I’m not sure we could survive going back to just being friends.”
“But what if it does?” He grips my hand tighter now. “I have looked for fragments of you in every woman I’ve dated since I met you. I’ve loved you for over three decades. Let me.”
I open my mouth for a rebuttal but then his lips are on mine and the line that’s separated us for thirty-five years dissolves in the rain splattering around us.
My heart is in my throat and I feel like I’m going to combust now that these emotions are out in the open.
We pull apart, staring at each other with hungry expressions as the rain continues to fall.
“I love you,” he repeats. The words hang heavily in the air, unable to be retrieved. “And I’m sorry that it took me this long to say it.”
He leans his forehead against mine as I laugh, tears of joy spilling over my eyes.
“I think we owe it to ourselves to give it a shot and see this through, don’t you? What we could make of this,” he pulls away and motions between us, “of us.” Gently, he reaches for my face and his thumbs wipe away my tears.
“I’m sorry for lying to you,” I whisper.
“I understand why you did.” The radio on his hip goes off, startling me.
“Meet me at Regiano’s tonight at eight, if you’re committed to giving us a chance. I’ll be there. Will you?”
I nod, unable to speak.
He leans forward and gently presses his lips to my forehead. He gives my forearms a comforting squeeze before he opens his car door and gets back in the car. I give him a little wave as I watch him flip the police lights on and drive away.
My fingertips graze my lips, still tingling from Charlie’s kiss. I feel like a teenager again, excited about tonight and relieved that it didn’t blow up in my face.
I wipe at my eyes and blink a few times before I get back in my car. I lean my head back, gripping the steering wheel with both hands while I wait for Thea. My mind is whirling, replaying what just happened, but I’m doing my best to focus on one thing.
Charlie loves me, in a way I didn’t expect him to, and that…means everything.
I stand in my bedroom, staring at the closet. Butterflies dance in my stomach as my eyes scan the articles of clothing before me. I shouldn’t be this nervous. I shouldn’t be nervous at all. The man I’m meeting tonight has seen me through all my highs and lows, thick and thin, good and bad.
It does not matter what dress I wear, I think to myself.
Only it does. Because he will be there.
“Meet me at Regiano’s tonight, if you’re committed to giving us a chance.”
I pull a short dress from the back of my closet, navy with a bright floral pattern and a bright red, satin ribbon around the waist. I’d been saving it for a special occasion.
I rip the tags off, toss them onto my dresser, and slide it on.
It fits me like a glove. I glance at my reflection in the mirror and take a moment to admire myself. Dare I say, I look good.
My hair falls in soft curls around my face and there’s a rosy, girlish hint of rouge to my cheeks. My eyes sparkle as they stare back at me and I feel the excitement building. I’m buzzing with energy.
Thea stops in the doorway as I’m putting my earrings in. I watch her reflection through the mirror and she smiles.
“You look beautiful,” she says as she shoves off the doorframe and enters the room.
“Thank you.” I clasp the earring shut and turn around so she can see the full effect.
She gently lays her overnight bag down on my bed — she’s having a sleepover with Raquel tonight — before she walks over to me.
“Here,” she says softly, spinning me back around. Her fingers reach for my zipper and she carefully zips me up. “Charlie is a lucky man.”
I feel myself blush as I turn back to face her. “Thank you,” I repeat. My emotions take over and I pull her into a hug.
“What’s that for?” she asks when we separate.
I shrug. “I just love ya, kid.”
Thea smiles and reaches for her bag. “I’ll check in when I get to Raquel’s,” she says, “but I don’t want to bug you on your date.”
I nod. “Okay. Be safe. Make good choices!”