Chapter 21 #2
"That last photo and video were really raw," Cassidy said. "Not just of Paige but also of you, Tessa. That was brave of you to show."
"I think the time for cowardice has long passed."
"The comments are pouring in. People are becoming even more fascinated by her story now. We should remember to do this in the future," Cassidy added. "Good job, Morgan."
"Thanks. So, how was Finn's grand opening?"
"It was wonderful."
I started to relax as Cassidy shared details from Finn's big night. It felt good to hear about something else for a few minutes.
"I gotta run," Cassidy finished. "Tessa, be careful. Morgan filled me in on what's been happening, and I know you a little too well. You're impulsive and reckless and sometimes that's just what you need to be, but sometimes it's not."
"I'm very aware of the danger surrounding us. But we're here, so we keep fighting."
"I just don't want the truth to cost you too much."
"I don't, either. Say hi to Finn."
As Cassidy disappeared, I looked at Morgan. "I need to go to the theater. I have to speak to Carrie again. I feel like she can fill in some blanks for me."
She nodded. "How are you going to get there?"
"I'll take a cab."
"What about Hale? How are you going to handle him if he's there?"
"I don't need to speak to him directly. And I'm sure he'll avoid me. I'll leave him to Colton."
"And Liam? Are you planning to see him again?"
"I have no plan at this moment, but he is a part of this. We'll see how things go."
"Are you feeling any old sparks for him?"
"I feel a lot of things when I see him."
"Is one of those things regret?" Morgan asked.
"Yes, but there are other emotions, too.
And I can see the cloud of conflict in his eyes when he looks at me.
He's torn between helping me and hating me.
I have to hope the helping part wins out.
" I stood up. "I'm going to take a shower and change my clothes, and then I'll head out.
I'd take you with me, but you're doing more here than I'm doing out there. "
"That's not true, but it's best we stay separate. That way if you get into trouble, I can come to the rescue or send someone better equipped than me to do that."
"I'd take you over anyone else."
"Even Colton?" she teased.
"Stop. There's nothing there."
"You used to be a better liar, Tessa," she said as I grabbed my clothes and hurried into the bathroom.
I walked into the Cornerstone Theater a little after one o'clock on Saturday afternoon and stood for a moment in the dark at the back of the house, letting my eyes adjust to the dim lighting.
Onstage, the world of the play was coming to life, but it wasn't quite there.
The set loomed in pieces: a doorframe standing free of any wall, a staircase that climbed into nothing, furniture wrapped in plastic, waiting to be unwrapped.
Work lights burned white over all of it, the unforgiving light that theaters use when they want to see every flaw, and in the middle of it, alone on the apron with a script she probably wasn't supposed to need anymore, stood Carrie.
Carrie had graduated two years after me.
She'd starred in the big spring play her senior year.
After that, according to Morgan's research, she'd gone out to Los Angeles for four years where she had done a few commercials and had some small parts in some very small productions, but she'd spent more time working as a waitress and a front desk clerk at a spa than she had in front of a camera or on a stage.
Three years ago, she'd returned to Chicago and had once again struggled to get parts.
But she'd had a supporting role in a play last year and this year she'd finally been cast as the lead in my aunt's production, which, according to Jay, had come at Hale's request. Which meant at some point Carrie and Hale had reunited.
And that reunion had created her biggest professional role ever.
I wondered if there was something to that.
But Carrie seemed to be struggling, and Professor Hale was nowhere to be seen.
I slid into the back row and sat down where nobody would see me.
"Again, Carrie," Jay said, from the production table ten rows back from the stage. "From 'You were never going to tell me.'"
Carrie found her mark. Rolled her shoulders. Started.
She wasn't bad. She was almost there. But everyone in the theater could hear the distance between almost and there. Her voice hit the words and slid off them. Her mannerisms seemed weak and uncertain.
"Stop," Jay said abruptly. "Carrie. What does your character want in this line?"
"She wants to know what happened when he went to the bank."
"That's the plot point. What does she want? What is she feeling? What does she really need to know?"
"What happened at the bank."
"No! She needs the truth. She needs to know he won't lie to her.
" Jay's voice wasn't cruel. It was worse than cruel; it was exasperated, frustrated, and disappointed.
"You need to take us on an emotional journey.
We have to feel what you're feeling, and right now it's like you're just going through the motions. "
"I'm doing it the way you told me to do it before," she snapped. "Where is Hale? Why isn't he here? He understands this play better than anyone."
At Carrie's words, Jay looked at Vivienne. Vivienne turned her gaze back to the stage.
"Carrie," my aunt said. "Robert isn't here. And you don't need him. You've been rehearsing this role for weeks, and you've been far better than you are today. What's going on?"
"I don't feel that you or Jay believe in me the way Professor Hale does."
"You're not performing for Robert or Jay or myself.
You're performing for the audience. Don't look at us.
Look at the seats. Imagine the people watching you, wanting you to take them on a journey.
Robert convinced me to give you this part.
And you told me you could do it. Now is the time to prove you were both right. "
"I need a break."
"Let's take fifteen," my aunt said as Carrie walked off the stage, and the other actors dispersed.
The house lights came up to half. I was about to get up and walk down the aisle to talk to Jay and my aunt when I saw Carrie heading their way. Maybe I needed to let that conversation play out, so I didn't disrupt the production.
As I watched, Carrie surprised me by walking right past Jay and my aunt. She headed straight for me, and I got to my feet.
"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "Did you come to shake me up? Are you trying to make me mess up? What is it with you, Tessa? Can't you ever let anyone else be good, be the star?"
I could see frustrated, angry tears welling up in her eyes, and I didn't think this was just about me. "You are good," I told her. "You're close to being great. That's why they're pushing you hard. They know you can do better."
She stared back at me. "You think I'm good?"
"Yes, I do. But you have to believe it. You're acting with uncertainty, not confidence. Why? You're the star. Embrace it."
"I can't with you watching me, with the tornado you brought to town. Everyone is getting caught up in it. Robert told me you came to his office, that you were there with a police officer, accusing him of sleeping with Paige and killing her to keep her quiet."
"That's what he told you?"
"Is it true? You can't really believe he would kill anyone."
"It's funny to hear you call him by his first name—Robert. How well do you know him?"
Carrie stared back at me, suddenly hesitant. "Well enough to know he wouldn't kill a woman, especially one of his students, the star of his play."
"What if she was threatening to tell the dean about their affair? What if she was going to ruin his reputation?" I challenged.
"Paige wasn't going to do any of those things. Hale had given her everything she'd ever wanted, the star role. She wasn't going to ruin him. If she tried, she'd ruin herself. Why would she do that?"
"Maybe she couldn't live with what she'd done to get that part. Did she tell you they were having an affair?"
"She didn't call it an affair. She said she'd made a mistake, but it wasn't his fault.
It was hers. She didn't blame him at all.
She blamed herself. I think the rumors you started were what put her over the edge.
That's when she really began to feel bad about herself.
" Carrie paused. "Where is Robert? Why isn't he calling me back?
He wasn't here yesterday. Now he's not here today. What's going on?"
"I don't know where he is, but I do know that the police want to talk to him about Detective Cabot. Professor Hale was friends with the lead detective looking into Paige's death. And he visited Detective Cabot the day he died."
Her gaze widened. "So, this isn't about Paige? It's about that old detective?"
"It's about both, Carrie. If I were you, I would be glad Hale isn't here. I'd put some distance between you two. He makes people believe he has their best interests at heart, but I think it's his own interests he's focused on."
"That's not true. He got me this part."
"And what did you have to do to get it?"
Her sudden flinch told me all I needed to know. "Carrie, you don't need him. You don't need his influence, his approval—"
"Of course I do. I've gotten nowhere in my acting career until now, until he helped me."
"Well, it's time to stand on your own. Be the actress you've always wanted to be."