Meatcubes and Angelic Freak Outs
“Stop it,” Chuck hissed low at Malachi as she stood by the stove, stirring the pasta sauce she was heating.
He was leaning against the counter by her side; arms crossed over his stomach as he tried to smother his laughter.
He’d been laughing off and on for nearly ten minutes.
She glared at him as another chuckle slipped out despite her warning.
When he grinned unrepentantly, she flicked a spoonful of sauce at him, releasing her own chuckle as it splattered across his face.
“You’ll pay for that later,” he growled with mock threat as he used a towel to clean it off.
He wasn’t angry with her despite his grumbles about her violence.
He relished that she wasn’t afraid of him, and he enjoyed their little games; this time was no different.
It was perfectly executed, and the resulting spatter looked like blood spray, something he would always enjoy.
As she pretended to tremble in fear, he swatted her behind.
“Sorry, but I couldn’t help it! Did you see Niccolo’s face when he said fuck?
” He roared in laughter again, wiping tears from his eyes now.
“I swear that’s even funnier than the time Jaxalicious got locked in the men’s room for an hour at the station. ”
Chuck pointed the large heavy spoon at him menacingly. “You were the one who locked him in! You melted the tumblers, and they had to break the door down.”
“And it was worth it,” he responded as he smiled dreamily. Jaxon had been angry at first, but after he calmed down from his initial panic, he’d laughed as well.
Throwing her hands in the air, Chuck groaned. “Fine.” She turned off the burner under the pasta and faced him. “Fine. Demon. You get into mischief. At least Jaxon had a sense of humor about it.”
“I did buy him a beer, and I sang two songs with him at karaoke later that night,” Malachi pointed out, tossing his hair back in indignation. “I even let him pick the song. He made me sing Nickelback with him. Twice.”
“Yeah, you did,” Chuck admitted. “Fine, you and Jax can have your little bromance. But please stop picking on Nick. We need his help and can’t risk you alienating him with one of your little wingspan spats. Hand me the strainer.”
Malachi handed her the utensil as requested and frowned, his lower lip poking out in a not-pout.
“You just pointed out I’m a demon. Bad behavior is my mojo.
Why are you so protective of Nick? Are you…
” He paused, an ugly thought flitting through his head, a weird sensation of shame curling in his stomach.
His lips curved further down into a sad droop, and his voice trembled slightly as he hesitantly asked, “Are you really… angry at me, Kelly?”
Dropping the pot in the sink, Chuck spun quickly to him and took his face in her hands that were still damp and warm from the steam escaping the pot.
“No!” she cried loudly, then lowered her voice.
“Malachi, no, of course not. I love you so much. I’m not angry at you at all.
I just don’t want you to push Nick too far because he’s the only family I have. I don’t want to lose him.”
“I’m your family too,” he whispered, his eyes harboring lingering doubt.
He still struggled to understand sometimes how much Chuck loved him.
She embraced it all. Sometimes she even begged him to go full demon so she could stroke the feathers of his wings and wrap herself in his long waterfall of jet-black hair.
A shaky finger traced the curve of her cheek as he lost himself again in her melted-chocolate eyes.
“Of course you are. You, Reena, and Nick.” Chuck leaned in and gently kissed him before running her fingers through his hair. “But you most of all.” She patted his chest, right over his heart.
“I thought we were having steak. I was promised steak,” he grumbled petulantly, changing the subject before it got too mushy. He loved her, but there was a limit to his sweetness tolerance.
Smirking at his tone, she rolled her eyes as she accepted the abrupt segue.
“We didn’t have enough for the extra guests.
We can do steak tomorrow.” Turning, she moved back to drain the pasta.
Over her shoulder, she called, “Go set the table for us, would you? Invite Nick to stay.” Glancing back at him, she narrowed her eyes and pointed sternly. “Ask. Nicely.”
Flashing a quick grin that was decidedly cheeky and less than reassuring, he sauntered to the living room.
Luna was back in dog form, romping around with Reena, playing tug of war with a chew rope.
Nick was still sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees, chin in his hands, an expression of profound bewilderment wrinkling his forehead.
His eyes were narrowed to slits as he stared blankly in the distance, not focused on any one point, ignoring the woofs and chaos around him.
It looked suspiciously like he was having an existential crisis.
Plopping heavily next to him, just to make the cushion bounce, Malachi nudged the angel with his elbow a little harder than was necessary. “Hey, Nickster, what’s going through that shiny head of yours? Hellhound got your tongue?”
“Nickster,” the angel muttered. “You know of all the names you’ve called me, that one’s not too bad.”
Snorting, Malachi nudged him again, not quite as hard this time.
“So, what’s the story? You in full-on angelic freak-out mode or…
” He let his words trail off in invitation for the angel to fill him in.
When Nick remained silent, Malachi groaned.
“Nick, I would like to invite you to stay for dinner, then share your concerns with us. If you want. You don’t have to. In fact, you can just leave and—”
“Mal!” came Chuck’s sharp warning call.
“But we’d really like for you to join us. If you’re willing. Like… do you even eat? I don’t want to make it awkward if you don’t. I mean, Chuck makes killer meatballs, but if you don’t eat…”
“Mal-a-chi!” Chuck groaned, stretching his name out.
Nick smirked as he glanced at the kitchen and nodded. “I’d be honored to join you. You’re right, I don’t need to eat, but I’d like to taste these ‘killer meatballs’.”
Rolling his shoulders, then stretching his neck, Malachi huffed in irritation.
“Fine, whatever. An angel and a demon sat down for spaghetti. Sounds like the start of a bad joke.” Glancing over at Luna, he smirked.
“Luna-Moona, you want to try human food? It’s good!
You too, Re-re. Does my little princess want some meatballs?
” He cooed as the small brindle whirlwind sped over and danced at his feet.
Her yips increased in pitch as he picked her up and cradled her like an infant, a definite grin on her face.
Staring open-mouthed at this display, Nick finally shook his head and snapped his teeth closed with an audible click. “Weirdos,” he muttered.
At the table, Luna tentatively nudged a meatball with a fork, leaning back as if she were concerned it would bite her first. “Why is it shaped like a rock?” She whispered to Malachi. Her eyes met his with alarm as the grumbling noises under the table rose in volume.
“Reena,” Malachi sang, “keep it down, sweetheart. I know they’re good, but you’re a noisy eater, and it’s especially rude when we have company.” A garbled woof was his reply as Reena inhaled another specialized meatball.
“She’s getting fat,” Chuck complained. “You’ve got to stop spoiling her. The vet says the special food is better for her breed.”
Grinning innocently, well, as close as a demon could get to innocent, Malachi blinked at her. “But this makes her happy! Don’t you want her to be happy?”
“The meatballs are round because…” Chuck said to Luna, then paused, ignoring Malachi’s triumphant fist pump. “Actually, I don’t know why meatballs are round. Maybe because if they were square they’d be meat-cubes, and that doesn’t sound as appetizing!” She grinned at her clever explanation.
Malachi groaned and rubbed his brow as it pained him.
“Please, I beg you. Leave the sarcasm and jokes to me. You’re terrible at that.
” Turning to Luna, he corrected how she held her silverware and watched while she lifted the first bite to her mouth.
As she slowly chewed, her eyes lit up in delight. “Good, right?”
Swallowing quickly, Luna nodded. “This is amazing! Way better than anything in Hell!”
“Told ya,” Malachi said softly. Turning back to the angel seated next to him, he grunted as he watched Nick slurping up a noodle with delight.
“Where are your manners?” He demanded as he shook his head in exaggerated disgust. “Use utensils, you uncultured swine! Anyway, what was your meltdown about earlier? You haven’t looked that freaked out since we learned that Amaryllis was after Kelly.
I don’t know this guy, Ramsilel. What’s this dude’s deal? ”
Grunting, Nick picked up a fork and twirled the pasta around it the same way he saw Chuck doing it.
Lifting the bite, he chewed thoughtfully then shrugged.
“Yes, this way is much better.” He frowned as the next bite splashed a small amount of sauce on his pristine white robes.
With an irritated flick of his wrist, the blob disappeared, leaving the material spotless again, shimmering like opals.
“Seriously?” Malachi snapped incredulously. “All the power of Heaven at your disposal and you use it for laundry?” Snorting, he leaned back in his chair. “Answer the question, wing-boy; quit deflecting.” He crossed his arms and arched an eyebrow in expectation.
Grimacing, Nick huffed and mirrored Malachi’s position.
“Fine, what do you want to know?” At Malachi’s growl, he held his palms up in a placating manner.
“I know, it looked bad, the way I reacted earlier. But I have a… complicated past with Ramsilel. He used to be the liaison for Hell on angel-demon relations, but he was ousted when Amaryllis took over. I was um…” He tugged at the collar of his robes.
“Already in the role before that, for Heaven of course. But he was really difficult to work with. I had already filed multiple complaints against him. So, when Amaryllis volunteered to take over, the admin staff in Heaven was happy to accept his ‘resignation’.” He made air quotes to suggest the resignation was not completely voluntary.
“They were a little apprehensive at first, given her reputation, but I convinced them that she had been much more cooperative than the previous demon. So, they gave her a chance. But hearing he was involved threw me because it was the last thing I expected. Although in hindsight, maybe I should have. He swore vengeance against me for my part in the change. I’m worried now this is some weird, convoluted revenge plot. ”
Luna shivered during the discussion. “But why me? I didn’t know any of you before now,” she asked before shoveling another meatball in her mouth.
Malachi reached over and patted her hand.
“That’s what we’re going to figure out. I have a soft spot for half-angels.
And demons, even more. You and I have complementary magic as well.
” He stiffened as an uglier-than-usual thought hit him.
“Nickels, do you mean that you think she was targeted to get her to come to me? Because of our connection to you and Amaryllis? Maybe he was hoping we wouldn’t figure it out in time? ”
Nick’s fork clattered on his plate in the silence following the question.
A single feather floated down like an autumn leaf, settling onto the seat of the chair where he’d been sitting before he disappeared without a word.
Reena stood on her hind legs and snatched the feather in her underbite, then trotted off to the living room to stash it with her other treasures.
A happy wheeze accompanied the sound of her nails clicking on the floor.
“Um,” Chuck hummed as she absently poked at her salad. “What just happened?” She waved vaguely toward the chair where her uncle had been sitting.
“I…” Malachi paused and scratched his chin as he stared after Reena. “You know, I don’t have a fucking clue what got his undies in a twist. I know he’s your uncle. But you have to admit, he’s kind of weird.”
Narrowing her eyes, Chuck pointed at him, then at Luna with her fork before arching an eyebrow to silently say, ‘Really?’
Shrugging his shoulders, Malachi reached over to snatch a meatball from her plate.
His attempt met with the sharp tines of her fork pinning his hand to the table.
“Fuck!” he yelped as he snatched his hand back.
“Rude. I thought sharing was caring!” He rubbed the back of his hand and winked as Luna watched them with her eyes wide and a half-chewed meatball visible in her open mouth.
Leaning over, Chuck pushed Luna’s mouth closed. “Don’t chew with your mouth open, dear,” she offered mildly.
Nodding quickly, Luna finished chewing and swallowed before offering a meek apology. “Yes, ma’am.”
“So, Lunafish,” Malachi started, before a puff of smoke and a rumble of the house announced a visit from Nick and Reena, who was tucked under his arm.
Except it wasn’t Reena. She was standing in the doorway with a mildly amused expression as she tilted her head at Nick. A cheerful greeting bark from Reena was answered right back by the faux-chuglet in the angel’s arms.
The lookalike could only be one other person. Or demon. Amaryllis the Defiler.