Public Displays of Debauchery
After introducing Flick to everyone else, Malachi pondered the wisdom of this decision.
Flick was flitting about Chuck, tugging on her hair, making impertinent remarks about her taming a demon, asking to see her wings, then questioning what kind of angel had no wings, and generally being annoying.
Malachi turned a curious gaze on Amaryllis to see if she would voluntarily enlighten them as to why she’d summoned his boisterous, snarky cousin.
He recalled Nick said she was trying to be more approachable, but he was still wary of risking his hide for seeming impertinent.
Unfortunately for Malachi, his dark side seemed to have rubbed off on Chuck maybe a little too much, as she once again demonstrated that she had no such sense of self-preservation around the Knight of Hell.
Then again, he reasoned with a smirk, she never really has.
Flick is going to regret underestimating her.
“So, are you just going to smirk dramatically or are you going to explain… this?” Chuck asked with a decidedly sarcastic tone as she pointed at Flick, who was now poking the handcuffs and flashlight strapped to her uniform belt.
She stared the Demon right in the eyes, arms crossed and a hip cocked out in a defiant pose while she waited for a response.
Malachi took a moment to appreciate the fire and sass in the woman he loved, before he wrapped a protective arm around her waist from behind, pulling her back to his chest. Leaning toward her ear, he nuzzled it gently then whispered, “I know you’re still angry about the demons plotting to sacrifice you and for killing your dad, but you need to let it go before she ends us both.
I don’t want to be a gate decoration. Do you?
It would be like… becoming an eternally damned Wal-Mart greeter, just bloodier and a hell of a lot more painful.
It is six hundred and sixty-six percent not something I need on my resume.
If you can’t play nice, I will have to muffle you with my shadows. ”
Whirling around, Chuck transferred her glare to him now, a dare on her lips.
She opened them to unleash a torrent of no doubt profane vitriol about where he could stick his shadows.
Her rant was cut off when Amaryllis began to chuckle.
A rich, deep, dark sound reminiscent of unholy thunder rolling across a field of the dead.
Chuck spun back to face her, her earlier menacing glare now replaced with raised eyebrows and a small, surprised O on her lips.
“How adorable,” Amaryllis cooed. “I really enjoy your intriguing foreplay, but the lady warrior does have a point. I didn’t bring him here to stage a saccharine family reunion.
That’s beyond my tolerance.” She shuddered in distaste, then gestured negligently at Flick.
“I brought him here because we need another pair of eyes and ears in Hell. Because of Nick’s guardian cloak, not many demons will willingly assist Malachi.
I know these two troublemakers are thick as thieves, so Flick would be one of the few I could call on without coercion. ”
Glancing at Flick, Chuck pursed her lips and hung her head, the fight having left her at this reminder that Malachi had given up his demonic heritage and family to be with her.
She faced him once more and laid her head on his chest. “I’m sorry, Mal.
I keep forgetting what you went through as well.
You do so much for me; I don’t mean to be a pain in your ass. ”
“I like you being a pain in my ass,” he murmured reassuringly. “Keeps things interesting. But it’s okay, I would do it all over again to be with you.” Wrapping her up in his arms and shadows, they stayed that way for a few moments until Flick poked Malachi on the arm repeatedly.
“This is both disgusting and intriguing. How do you seriously say that shit without puking? Also, where does she keep your balls? Are they in a pouch? A box? Maybe in her underwear drawer?” The copper-colored demon bounced his eyebrows suggestively as he swung his waterfall of hair over his shoulder.
A metallic click was the only warning as Chuck pulled her weapon and shot Flick in the ass.
Flick danced around the living room, howling and holding his butt cheek, screaming that she had killed him.
“I am dying a horrible, slow, agonizing death! Slain by my own family’s paramour!
Oh, the injustice, the irony.” He flung his free hand over his forehead and groaned.
“It’s ironic because she’s a policewoman, sworn to uphold justice.
The end is near! I can hear that flap of Thanatos’ wings. ”
“Shut up, you overgrown infernal baby,” Chuck deadpanned. “It wasn’t a head shot. You’ll live. But question Mal like that again, and it will be your balls I put in a bag.”
“But… You shot me!” Flick screeched, pointing out the obvious. He stared wildly around the room, holding his ass with one hand, waving frantically with the other. “She shot me! What the actual hell? Does nobody care that I’m about to bleed out in the living room?”
The others backed away from Chuck as she was still holding the weapon tightly in her grip. She merely grinned and raised it toward him once more. “Keep yapping, and I’ll do it again.”
Wisely, Flick mimed zipping his lips and whimpered. He turned his plaintive gaze to Malachi and pointed at his ass that was still sluggishly oozing ichor over his fingers.
Sighing, Malachi went to the kitchen and grabbed a towel. He handed it to his cousin and pointed to the floor. “Sit there. Don’t stain the upholstery.” He turned to face the Knight of Hell who was tapping her boot in irritation on the hardwood, the sound echoing like an unholy clock’s second hand.
“Now that we have that out of the way,” Amaryllis growled, a hint of irritation was clear in her tone, but a small, amused smile tugged up the corners of her carmine lips.
“Flick, I want you to be our spy.” She gave him the rundown, the quick and dirty version.
Then she instructed him on next steps. “I need you to follow Ramsilel and find out what he’s planning to do.
Like Malachi, I refuse to believe this is simply dislike of a Nephilem.
There’s an ulterior motive here, and as much as I do enjoy dastardly plots and schemes, I will not allow one that affects myself and those around me.
Normally, I would just torture the answers from those involved, but I need Heaven to see me as cooperative.
Torturing my minions, no matter how dastardly they are, does not let me keep the position that lets me see someone I…
care about.” She glanced at Nick from the corner of her eye before her lips pinched, cutting off her words.
Malachi tilted his head slightly, catching the small hesitation in her words. To Chuck, he sent, Do you think she was about to say, love? Squeeze once for yes, twice for no.
A single squeeze confirmed that Chuck had also caught her hesitation. Her lips twitched as she fought off a smile. Or maybe a snarky remark for the Demon.
Don’t, Malachi cautioned her with equal parts amusement and fear.
Do not point it out. Do not make a smart-ass comment.
I swear you are both terrifying and sexy as fuck when you do that.
If you even snort slightly, it’s going to turn me on, and I will fuck you hard, right here on the floor in front of everyone.
Want to see an angel blush? I will do things to you that would make Nickaroni faint.
Chuck’s fingers clenched hard in his, and he heard her breathing go shallow as it sped up. Her heart was pounding in her chest, the pulse visible in her slender throat.
Ooooh… he drawled, a sultry purr in his voice while he rubbed his thumb slowly over her knuckles, shivering when her body trembled at his touch.
You like that, don’t you? My little exhibitionist. I know what you want.
You need me to handcuff you to the table while I rip off those polyester pants and lick my way up your…
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The mental image of Chuck writhing under him was erased from both of their minds at the rapid, forceful pounding on her front door. The sound echoed as if a battalion of soldiers were about to order an evacuation.
“Every fucking time,” Malachi growled as he leaned his head on Chuck’s shoulder.
Patting his arm in consolation, Chuck whispered, “I don’t think it’s Glenda this time if that helps.
” She moved to the door and peered through the peephole, standing on her tiptoes to apply her eye to the small portal.
“Fuck,” she ground through her teeth as she dropped down.
She groaned once more and buried her face in her hands before she announced the identity of their uninvited visitor.
“It’s Muriel. Our neighbor.” Swinging open her front door, her guests were treated to the eye-searing view of Chuck’s neighbor wearing a violet muumuu plastered with giant magenta tulips.
Malachi growled from deep within his chest, making his distaste for their neighbor clear.
He also hated her penchant for wearing floral housecoats that would make a gardener weep tears of pesticide.
“Muriel,” he sneered, making her name a swear word as he sauntered to Chuck’s side.
“To what do we owe the… pleasure?” The dis- in front of pleasure was heavily implied, but in her haste, she ignored the insult.
“I heard gunshots!” she insisted with grave panache. “Someone was shooting up your house with an assault rifle! You should call the police!” Her meaty hands flew to her ample hips as she jutted her chins forward. “Right now! I won’t have dead bodies piling up in my begonias.”
“Muriel,” Chuck sighed wearily as she rubbed her forehead, “I am the police.” She pointed at her badge and the gun, back in its holster at her hip.
“You did not hear an assault rifle or multiple shots.” She lowered her voice and muttered, “This is why witnesses are so unreliable.” She straightened and gently explained, “What you heard was a single bang, and it was a firework set off by Evan’s stupid cousin who dropped in unexpectedly.
As you can see, there are no dead bodies in my living room.
” She stepped back and waved a hand toward her guests.
“Is that… why does that lady have a sword? And why is he wearing wings?” Muriel’s already questionable complexion paled, growing pastier than should be possible for a human who was still breathing.
Smirking, Malachi leaned in, relishing the golden opportunity before him.
He never passed up an opportunity to get under her skin.
“Rehearsing our cosplay for an upcoming fantasy convention. You know, the kind where we partake in massive orgies and public displays of debauchery. She’s going as a demon, and he’s going as an angel.
They’re going to get it on and fuck in front of everyone, demonstrating the most perfect sin!
” He beamed as Muriel’s chins wobbled while her mouth opened and closed repeatedly.
A warbled gurgle slipped from the nosy woman’s throat before Chuck took pity and spun Muriel around and shoved her toward the sidewalk.
“Go home, Muriel. Everything is fine.” Closing the door behind her, Chuck spun and leaned against the wooden surface before glancing at Malachi in amusement. “I think you broke her!”
“Good! She needs to be broken. I’m going to tell Reena to break in and steal those hideous garments, then we’re going to pee all over them. Luna? You in?”