25. It’s STILL Not Real Bacon
It's STILL Not Real Bacon
Glancing at Luna as she sat quietly next to Flick, the very picture of a well-behaved dog, Malachi sent her reminders. Don’t nod your head, don’t talk. Just do whatever he asks of you and occasionally pant.
Got it, she sent back nervously. A slight tremble in her voice was followed by a tiny whine that immediately caught Jeffers’ attention.
“Hmm…” the large bald man frowned. “She seems kind of timid, but you say she’s fully trained?”
“Of course!” Flick responded immediately and overly eagerly at top volume.
At Malachi’s soft woof, Flick cleared his throat and tried again.
“Sorry, my ears are a little clogged. Allergies, you know? I forget people can hear me just fine.” He offered a weak grin and stuck his finger in one ear, wiggling it slightly.
Relaxing when Jeffers responded with a smile of his own and a knowing grunt, he leaned back and continued.
“Yes, Luna here is fully trained, a fine officer with great control. Unfortunately, given the budget cuts, we can no longer sustain three K-9s. Disappointing really. We hate to let her go, but it’s just not feasible. ”
“I see,” Jeffers replied slowly as he studied Luna intently, tapping his lower lip with the bottom of his pen. “And what of her prior handler?”
Flick shook his head sadly, hanging his shoulders as if they were under great weight.
“Strange circumstances. Developed an intense allergy to dogs and polyester. Moved to Fiji to find himself. It was the darndest thing, really. But…” He slapped his thighs and puffed out his chest. “Luna here is still young and in her prime. I know she would catch on to your department regulations in no time and be a wonderful addition to your team!” He beamed brightly, his smile almost stretching past the limits of human anatomy.
Tone it down, dumbass, Malachi grumbled. As Flick turned down the wattage of his smile, Malachi gave his approval. Better, remember, you’re a human, a police officer. And not one of those Dick Tracy characters from those film noirs you watch. Do not fucking call anyone sweetheart. Am I clear?
Crystal, sweetheart.
Luna coughed out a laugh and turned to glance at Malachi, apology contorting her canine features.
“Hmm, well we weren’t exactly looking for another canine, but don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” Jeffers said.
Fortunately, he wasn’t looking at them so missed Luna’s confused grimace.
She was too young for that reference. “Or dog in this case,” the lieutenant added with a cheeky grin, patting a drum fill on his knees. “Ba dum dum, tss!”
Flick blinked at him owlishly, unsure of how to respond at first. “Yep,” he finally blurted.
“I mean, yes sir. We’ve heard such amazing things about Malachi here, and what a sensational K-9 he is.
Hands down one of the greatest to ever do the job.
No one could possibly live up to that reputation.
He will probably have a statue built of him one day! ”
Shut the fuck up, you idiot! Malachi groaned. He furtively peeked at Chuck, who was staring at Flick with a mixture of amusement and horror. Sorry about him, he told her quietly. She slipped her fingers over his ears and rubbed them slightly in acknowledgment.
“Riiiiight,” drawled Jeffers as he squinted at Flick as if he couldn’t quite decide if the man was addled or not.
“Well, I have it on Lieutenant Sanders’ good authority that this is an offer we can’t pass up.
I’ve asked Officer Raifson to join us. He’s been wanting to join the unit for a long time, and he’s certainly qualified. Let’s see how he and Luna get along.”
At that moment, Jaxon knocked on the door frame to the lieutenants’ office. “Sir, you called for me?” His gaze swept the room, and he nodded to Chuck, Malachi, and Flick. “Oh, hi there, Jaxon Raifson,” he offered, holding out a hand to Flick to shake as if they’d never met.
Be nice, Malachi warned them both, as Flick murmured, “Flynn Slater.”
To their credit, neither of them took the handshake too far, remaining consummate professionals. Malachi felt the tension leave Chuck’s body as the handshake ended on normal terms.
“Officer Raifson, I hear you are the prime candidate for our Luna here. We wanted you two to meet and see if you get along.” Flick gestured and nudged Luna forward.
Showtime, Malachi sent to them all.
Jaxon squatted and held out the back of his hand toward Luna.
She eagerly moved forward and sniffed his hand.
As they’d previously agreed, she then leaned into him, resting her chin on his shoulder in a display of acceptance and affection.
A large grin stretched his features as he stroked her back.
“Oh, what a good girl you are!” he cooed, scratching her ears with his other hand.
His smile stretched further as she released a small happy woof and licked his cheek excitedly.
You don’t do that when I call you a good girl, Malachi sent to Chuck. He gurgled as she tightened her grip on his leash in warning.
Jeffers glanced over in concern. “Everything okay over there?” His bushy eyebrows resembled a giant, furry caterpillar as they met on his forehead.
“Yep, just fine, sir,” Chuck replied cheerfully. “I think Malachi probably gorged himself on bacon treats. You know the guys always sneak him some when they think I’m not looking. The one bad habit they never trained out of him.”
If only that were true, Malachi moaned wistfully as he rotated his head, stretching his neck.
Nodding with relief, Jeffers turned his attention to Jaxon and Luna again.
“Well, back to you two. It would appear Luna does like you, Raifson. That’s a good sign.
” Pinching his chin, he nodded once more and picked up his phone.
After a few moments, his call was picked up by the other party.
“Get Blaine out to the training quad. Got a possible new officer to evaluate.” He listened for a moment then stared at the phone; his expression suggesting the person on the other end was either quite stupid or suddenly speaking a foreign language.
“Yes… a dog,” he drawled slowly as he put the handset back to his ear.
“What other kind of officer would I evaluate out there? A rabbit perhaps?” He slammed the receiver back down, shook his head, and ran a hand over his bald pate, blowing air through his lips.
“Interns,” he moaned. “Getting dumber by the year. My sister’s kid, doing it as a favor.
Definitely didn’t get that lack of brains from her.
” Standing, he shooed them all from his office. “To the course.”
Gazing over the obstacle course and the training pads, Malachi smirked with fond memories of the Great Bacon Rebellion.
The other two dogs that trained with him were good dudes.
Not demons, of course; no one was perfect, but still fun to hang out with.
One of the dogs had been assigned to a different department, and he wondered idly if the dog, Tracker, was still demanding his share of snacks.
He knew Ranger was still fully on board, and Bernice, the main administrator, kept the precinct well-stocked with their favorite brand.
“Malachi!” came a hearty greeting from the trainer, Blaine. He cheerfully ruffled the fur on Malachi’s back, earning a delighted whimper for his actions. Chuckling, he glanced at the others. “Best damn dog I ever worked with. If this new one is even half the candidate he is, we’re gonna be lucky!”
Blaine moved over to study Luna, squatting and talking softly as he checked her over. “Hmm, not our usual type, but she’s solid and appears healthy enough. You say she’s already been trained?” He glanced at Flick, who had followed them outside but seemed to have forgotten his role.
“Oh, uh, yeah,” he answered lamely, ratcheting his smile up another few notches as the trainer eyed him strangely.
“Right,” Blaine said. Standing, he sighed.
“Well, let’s see what commands she knows.
” He called a few basic commands, and she obeyed quickly without hesitation.
His smile ratcheted up a notch. “Excellent. She’s certainly responsive.
Let’s see what else she’s got and put her on the obstacles.
I think we should run Malachi through the course first, so she knows what to expect. Ready, boy?”
Malachi stretched like he was preparing for an Olympic sprint and grinned. I was born ready! What Blaine heard of course was an excited bark. He glanced at Chuck, who unclipped his leash, and he trotted to the starting point. Watch and learn, kiddo, he called back to Luna.
At the signal from the trainer, Malachi took off like a shot and raced through the course.
Through tunnels, over walls, under obstacles, and weaving through pylons.
It was an agility course to test their agility and problem-solving skills.
He, of course, was already physically strong, but he enhanced himself slightly with his demon speed.
As he finished, Blaine whistled and stopped his timer.
“Fastest time yet, buddy! Great job!” Blaine pulled some treats from the bag at his waist and slipped a few into Malachi’s quivering jaw.
I swear I love that man; he moaned, licking his chops. I think he likes me more than you do, Chuck. He never yells at me or pulls my fur.
Crouching, Chuck clipped his leash again and whispered in his ear, “Not real bacon.”
Rude.