47. One Happy Bloodthirsty Family
One Happy Bloodthirsty Family
Malachi fluttered his hands in a slowdown gesture, as several members of the group spoke at once.
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, trying to make sense of everything he’d learned.
“So let me get this straight. Kassie was kidnapped by Ramalama ding dong; he was told Flickers, aka Flynn, had been snatched and was held captive. They would let him go pending Kassie’s agreement to help trap us? ”
“Kassie?” Kassidy muttered, frowning.
“Just accept it, it’s how he hugs,” Flick explained, motioning for his cousin to continue.
Snorting in amusement, Malachi rolled his eyes then continued his recap.
“Right, well if I heard correctly, Clowdus and Tracantor made a fake call, lured Jaxxine and Lucidity, captured them and used them as bait to get Chuck and me into the building where they set the trap. I know I was hit hard, spelled, and blacked out, so how did you track me down?”
Luna raised a hand, much more confident in her own skin now. “I saw them take you. I knew who they were, so once I got Jaxon awake and calmed Chuck down”—she shot a wide-eyed glance of awe at the woman in question—“I convinced her we needed to go to Hell to recover you.”
Chuck smirked. “I was a little… put out that you’d been taken.
I may have released some of my anger on Kassidy.
” She glanced at the detective and flashed an apologetic smile.
“I might be just a little bit sorry about my reaction. I didn’t know you were being blackmailed by demons.
I still don’t understand why you didn’t just call it in.
Or tell me, or something. Why wouldn’t you give us a heads up? ”
Nodding, Kassidy gently cupped his balls and winced with the memory.
“Completely deserved, no hard feelings.” His eyes dropped, and he frowned as he thought about her questions.
“Well, I’m honestly not sure. My head has been a little messed up since those church burglaries began.
It’s strange, I remember there was a young woman, and she came on to me, and I was willing to do whatever she asked.
I don’t remember what she wanted, and it was confusing because I don’t…
well… I only like guys.” He shrugged nonchalantly and lifted his chin as if daring them to make a big deal about it.
“Kass,” Chuck called softly with a gentle smile. “We don’t judge. Did you miss the part where most of us aren’t actually fully human? Your sexual preferences are not going to ostracize you here.”
“Yeah, Chuck’s into bondage!” Malachi offered helpfully, then winced as she slammed an elbow in his ribs.
“Anyway!” she added, ignoring Malachi’s grumbles. “I think we can clear up some of that.” Here, she glanced at Luna meaningfully.
Luna cleared her throat and leaned back into the corner of the sofa as if it would hide her, her earlier bravado faltering.
She held up one hand and waved a little.
“Um, that was me. I uh… when I first got here, I was looking for Malachi but didn’t know how to get his attention.
I thought that if I committed some crimes, it might draw him in.
But you weren’t calling them. I didn’t really know much about K-9s then, so I used my succubus powers on you.
I also didn’t know you were gay, and that kinda confused things as well.
I thought I was doing something wrong because you weren’t responding, so I pushed really hard. Sorry.”
Kassidy snorted and shook his head. “That certainly clears things up. I kept feeling like I should be attracted to Chuck, but I’m not.” Scrubbing his hands over his face, he glanced at Jaxon and Chuck. “All this time, the church crime spree was because of your K-9?”
Jaxon laughed ruefully. “She was doing that before she became my K-9. The most recent one was another demon that was trying to lure us in. We caught him and dealt with him.”
“He makes a lovely addition to my front gate,” Amaryllis volunteered with a sly smile. “Hyacinth and Skeerot take turns screening visitors and screaming. It’s quite musical really.”
Blinking rapidly, concerned by this turn of events, Kassidy glanced at Jaxon again and began speaking loudly as if he hadn’t heard that last part.
“And then Flick pretended to be Flynn to get Luna on the team. And then he and I started… I was jumped in an alley last night, and I guess they were demons. They told me they had Flynn and would hurt him and reveal our relationship. Then they told me they had Luna and Jaxon. They promised no one would get hurt. It’s crazy because I know better.
But I woke up in the lobby of that building, and I felt helpless to do anything else.
I don’t really remember how I got there.
It was so surreal, but when I saw Jaxon, I believed them.
I didn’t realize the girl was Luna the K-9. ”
Malachi nodded with a knowing frown. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed with frustration.
“Yeah, sounds like you were compelled by one of those other demons. It’s a thing we do.
I don’t. Loony doesn’t anymore either because we discussed that it’s part of mainstreaming.
You have to play by society’s rules. But I’d wager that’s why you went against your nature.
Too many demons fucking with your head.” He tapped his temple and crossed his eyes.
His mouth opening and closing, Kassidy paused, then turned and stared at Flick. His eyes narrowed warily, filling with shame. “Is that what’s going on here? Are you compelling me to like you? Was any of that real?”
Flick rapidly shook his head, his metallic hair flinging about like tinsel caught in a tornado. “No way, the only magic I did was shifting to my human form. The rest, that was really me. I’m just extra charming.”
“You mispronounced annoying,” Chuck offered, but she was smiling, showing she was teasing. She was really coming around to liking the boisterous demon. Luna’s giggle at the phrase she’d borrowed got a conspiratory wink from her.
“Did not!” Flick sniffed haughtily. He turned back to Kassidy and took his hand.
“Kass, I promise, I never forced you to do anything or spend time with me. It truly is just mutual attraction. You have awesome taste in movies and music. We like the same kind of food, and you have an amazing singing voice. I could listen to it all day. I’d like to keep seeing you if you’re interested.
I’ve decided to stay here, topside and mainstream with the others. ”
Standing quickly, Malachi pointed at his cousin. “You are not living here, you will not be a K-9, and I’m not getting your ass out of trouble if you get into it.” He turned to Chuck. “Did I cover everything?”
Chuck laughed quietly before she added, “No influencing Mordecai into bad behavior either!” She waggled her pointer finger playfully.
Mock saluting them, Flick bounced on his toes before he jumped into Kassidy’s lap and planted a loud kiss on his cheek. “I’m all yours, sugar daddy.”
Kassidy stared in alarm, while the others laughed.
“Drop him on his ass, that’s what I’d do!” Chuck offered.
“No, I think I actually like him here,” Kassidy retorted with a grin, pulling the sassy demon closer.
“Then remind me to give you a crash course on how to date a demon and keep your sanity,” Chuck offered with a mischievous grin.
Flick shook his head rapidly. “Nope, whatever she says about cutting things off, don’t believe her!”
Jaxon cleared his throat. “Before this devolves further, do I need to worry at all about having gone to Hell as a human? Just wondering if that tainted my soul in any way.” He turned to Nick, the resident Heavenly expert.
Shaking his head, Nick smiled serenely in that annoyingly angelic manner he had.
“You’re fine, Jaxon. You entered via a portal, not as a soul.
It’s highly unusual, but not against the rules per se, so you have nothing to worry about.
” He turned to Luna. “I’m impressed you found one so close to where they were holding him. ”
Luna straightened and preened. “I tracked him like a K-9! Like Malachi taught me! So, we got guns, and Reena then blasted into that cave ready to fight!” Her eyes shimmered with angelic Hellfire, which was an unholy contradiction, but it was cute on her.
Chuckling, Malachi yanked her from the sofa and hugged her, laying his cheek on top of her head.
“Good job, Luna. Thank you for helping them save me. I’m glad you showed up.
And even though I can’t imagine anyone wanting to live in Heaven, it doesn’t matter that they won’t welcome you.
Because you belong here, with this family. ”
As the shocked silence in the room grew, Malachi looked around, everyone staring at him. A mixture of disgust, surprise, and happy awe made up the expressions of those in the room.
“What?” he demanded. “Alright, fine. I’ll admit it.
I’ve gone soft. But Lucifer’s pimpled ass cheeks—can you blame me?
I have everything I never knew I wanted after a couple of centuries of being an asshole.
I like this feeling, okay? But make no mistake, if anyone ever hurts my Kelly, I will burn this world down and take everyone with me.
That goes for my family too. All of you, in this room.
Except you, Kassio. I’m still on the fence about you. ”
“Hey, Mal,” Flick called nervously, a slight grimace contorting his lips. “I’m glad you feel that way about family. I think Eefs is coming.”
With a pop and swirl of smoke, Amaryllis disappeared, leaving a bewildered Nick sitting alone.
Malachi spun around wide-eyed, staring frantically at the others. “You all need to leave now. Glenda, can Mordecai come to stay with you for a few days? Reena too.”
Both the boy and the dog protested, but they were overruled and quickly shuffled out the door. Soon, only Chuck, Malachi, Flick and Kassidy remained.
Flick stared mournfully at the floor. “I’m really sorry about this,” he mumbled. He tilted his head up as Kassidy tugged on his chin. “You should go too; I’ll call you.”
“Who’s got you so scared?” Kassidy asked softly.
“Aoife. My sister.” He sighed as if his world was ending and laid his forehead on Kassidy's shoulder, staring at Malachi mournfully. "She wants us to come home."