Chapter 39 Austin - Left Out of the Loop
Chapter 39
Austin - Left Out of the Loop
I watched from my bedroom window as Sydney hurried to her truck in a fancy dress. I wasn’t born yesterday; she wouldn’t go to the movies in that get-up. It didn’t bother me she had a date. It bothered me she didn’t think she could tell me the truth.
I’d had plenty of dates since we arrived. My typical date night entailed picking up a hot chic at a bar and going back to her place (or mine) for naked games. Although I suppose that doesn’t count as a date. I played it carefully when bringing a hunny to my room. I didn’t ever see anyone twice. One-night stands didn’t turn into relationships, and I didn’t want one. I learned my lesson on that count with Renee.
Without a poker game tonight, I stayed home to catch up on my laundry pile. For once, I didn’t wait for an empty underwear drawer. While I waited for the dryer to buzz, I hung out in front of the TV, watching old country music videos. Then I scrolled through the menu of hundreds of channels, but nothing caught my interest. My mind kept drifting back to Sydney driving off in that hot dress and wondering where she went and who she met. I didn’t recall her mentioning it to me, and that omission nagged at me .
Without any family here, we relied on each other. Sydney stepped up to the plate for me when I needed her, and I would do the same for her. Did that entitle me to full disclosure about her whereabouts? She didn’t ask me about my bedroom company, and I probably shouldn’t ask about her activities this evening. I’d never been in this position, and I didn’t know who to ask for advice.
I picked up my phone to check the time, and it started ringing. Mom.
“Hey, Mom! How are you doing?”
“Wow! You answered your phone! I feel honored.”
“I don’t remember my mom being such a smart-ass. You must have the wrong number. Goodbye now!” I howled.
“I may have to disown you if you hang up on me.” She tried to sound tough, but I could hear the crack in her voice. “What are you up to?”
“Believe it or not, laundry. I had nothing else exciting to do.” It was all I could manage to keep from driving to the liquor store.
“I called to check in with you. How are you and Sydney doing? Still writing songs?”
“Yes. We’re still working, Mom. I won’t be coming home soon. You can go ahead and rent out my room.”
“Oh good. I’ve got them lined up around the block to interview already.” She clucked at me. “Otherwise, I’m going to charge people admission to see it once you’re famous.”
“Don’t hold your breath on that one. It’s the person who sings the song who gets all the credit.” Sydney and I were making decent money with our songs, but I figured it would take four or five years to build up enough of a catalog to expect top dollar for our work.
“How is Miss Sydney doing? She’s such a nice young woman. Are you looking out for her? You know that’s what gentlemen do.”
“Yes, ma’am, I know. Sydney is fine. She’s out on a date.”
“Oh. Is he a nice fellow?”
“I don’t know who she met with, Mom. She didn’t tell me.”
Silence.
It was time to ask what I needed to ask. “Mom?”
“Yes, sweetie.”
“Why do you think she didn’t tell me?”
She clucked her tongue. “I don’t know Sydney well enough to speculate. Maybe she forgot to mention it. ”
“Sydney does nothing casually. She has a reason for keeping this to herself.”
“Then perhaps you should leave it alone. She’ll talk about it when she’s ready.”
“Or maybe she’ll wait and send me a wedding invitation,” I barked.
She sighed. “Oh, Austin. I didn’t want to upset you. Is it possible you’re in a snit because you have feelings for Sydney?”
Her question caught me off guard, and I blurted out, “NO! She’s Danny’s girl. I think. Or she was. I don’t know. Being a grownup sucks.”
Mom remained calm. “Life is messy. It is wonderful, horrible, and a thousand other things all at once. When you’re a kid, you don’t notice it because you live in the front of your brain, always in the present. When you’re a teenager, you focus on yourself internally, trying to figure out who you are. Now that you have adult responsibilities, things seem to get more complicated. But that’s the way things have always been. You’re noticing it now. Does that make sense?”
“I suppose. I’m done adulting now. Is it possible to be a kid again?” I pouted.
“I wish I could do that. Go back to being seven, riding my bike around the neighborhood with my friends, eating too many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and not thinking about tomorrow at all. It’s a conundrum. Time only moves forward.”
“Thanks for the pep talk. I feel much better now,” I deadpanned.
“You’re welcome, sweetie.” She either missed my sarcasm or purposely ignored it.
The dryer signaled the end of its cycle. “I need to go grab my t-shirts out of the dryer before they wrinkle. I love you, Mom. Talk to you soon.”
“I love you to the moon…”
“And back.” I didn’t realize how much I missed her presence until we had moments like this. When I lived at home, I didn’t always appreciate her level of involvement in my life. But now, I felt her absence strongly. And I didn’t like it. Not one bit.