Chapter 23 #2
Rio pressed her lips to the side and nodded slowly, the sun glinting off her engagement ring. “And that’s bad, right?” she asked, not in a mocking tone, just making sure she had the facts straight.
“It’s not good.”
“Are you surprised? Men fall for you left, right, and center, Ruby. You got a trail of broken hearts behind you.”
“You’re giving them too much credit. They don’t even know me. They fall for what they see, not for my personality.” I rolled my eyes.
“So, they fall for your looks? Funny, I remember the days you used to think all you had was personality. Now you think all you have to offer is external beauty?”
“No. Well, not exactly. Shut up.”
Rio laughed. She knew that when I said that, she was winning.
“It’s not about that at all,” I protested.
“Oh, not at all,” Rio said, all dry sarcasm. “It’s about Sebastian. Who knows you inside out, before and after, all the phases, all the layers. And wants all of this. He’s not confused.”
I swallowed and jumped to my feet. “I need to walk.”
Rio toed off her shoes, gathered them in one hand, and followed. We paced along the waterline, where the waves licked at the sand. The wind picked up, whipping our hair across our faces.
“When did he say it, and what did you say?” Rio raised her voice over the gusts and crash of the surf.
“Last night. And I said I didn’t want to complicate things. That I wanted to keep them the way they are.”
Rio gave me a look. “That’s the Ruby’est thing you’ve ever done.”
“You know me. I’ve experimented with monogamy, and all it did was prove it’s not for me.”
“What, that guy you let stay nearby and tried to play serious dating with before you kicked him out soon after? That’s your case study?” Rio chuckled, pulling a strand of hair out of her mouth where the wind had plastered it.
“Well, yes. I know it’s not what you or Evangeline would call monogamy, but I bet you that Daphne would agree with me.”
“I doubt it. Daphne’s as serious and deep as they come. She won’t waste it on just anyone.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Thing is, he has to sign the permit for the updated structure,” I said after we crossed a few more yards of wet sand. “So he has to stay here until it’s done.”
“And that’s bad,” Rio said, her tone ending in question. Again, not mocking, just making sure she understood.
“I just ... I don’t ...”
“Do you have feelings for him?” she asked.
The question cut my pace for a second. “I’m feeling ... things.” That was the first time I admitted it out loud. I hadn’t before, not even when Rio had asked me weeks ago.
Rio burst out laughing, not in a gentle chuckle this time. “Oh, my God, Ruby! I love you, you know that?” The ‘G’ lingered a little in her throat; With me, her stutter appeared only when she was excited.
“I love you, too, Rio.” I bent to pick up a shiny shell.
“And you love Sebastian,” she said.
“Maybe as a friend.” I straightened up, shoving windblown curls back from my face.
“Are you sure about that? Because I know he’s the only constant man in your life.
And I know—sometimes against my will—how attracted you are to him, Ms. ‘Constant Wet Panties When He’s Around,’” She quoted me with exaggerated flair.
“And how great the sex is, that he’s the best you’ve had.
And I also know you love his brain, his humor, his care, the things you share, the fun you have, the way he’s helping you now . ..”
“So?”
“So? Are you kidding me? Want me to open a dictionary and show you that this is the literal definition of being in love?”
“Oh, come on! Then I must be in love with you too, because I love all these things about you as well.”
“Ruby, babe, you can play untouchable and cool about sex all you want with others. Sebastian had broken through that wall a long time ago. You’re just not ready, and I get that.
” She reached out, fingers brushing my elbow, slowing me mid-step.
“I’m sure your parents’ divorce and your dad leaving play a part in it,” Rio said gently, “but lots of people come from divorced families and still want the whole forever thing. You just ... learned to stop believing in it.”
She couldn’t have known I was part of why he left—I never exactly paraded it.
“And maybe,” she continued, “you don’t want to give up on the way you live your life, and that’s okay.”
“Exactly. We’ve got it good. Why change it?”
“You don’t have to. But you do need to tell him that.”
“I did. Last night.”
“And ...” Rio stopped walking. She looked down at our feet in the water, then back up. “You also have to face the fact that he might not want that anymore. That he’s ready for something real. That he might walk away. Start dating other people seriously.”
The ache that coiled in my chest at that moment was almost unbearable.
“Which should be fine, because he’s just a friend,” Rio added, twisting the knife.
“Right. He is,” I said, breaking eye contact, my gaze drawn to the orange sun kissing the water.
“Or ... you’re catching real feelings and you hate it because it’s scary. That’s also an option.”
I was. And I hated it.
I wanted to stay in control, to cruise through my no-casualties-zone life. I wanted smooth sailing, not to be wrecked on the sharp rocks of feelings.
“I’m cold, and I’m taking you to eat somewhere. My treat,” Rio said after a moment of quiet wading along the shore. She rubbed her arms against the chill. “How’s the renovation going?”
“Harder than I thought going into it. We need to tear down more walls, replace insulation around critical areas, add solid, long-lasting, enduring support beams.”
“Kinda like—” Rio paused mid-sentence.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Good,” I said, shooting her a look that made it clear I knew exactly what she was about to compare it to. But I wasn’t a crumbling inn begging to be rebuilt.
I was the one holding the damn blueprint.
Even if part of the foundation had Sebastian’s name on it.