Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
From a new WhatsApp group (Members: Eli Gastright, Dean Gastright, Sadie Stewart, Leo Mills)
Eli Gastright: Hi, I didn’t want to use the Wishbone group because Em will see
Eli Gastright: I wanted to ask y’all for a favor
Dean Gastright: Sure, anything
Sadie Stewart: Absolutely, if I can
Eli Gastright: Thanks
Leo Mills: I’m in, what do you need
Eli Gastright: So I bought Em that card game she mentioned, and some other board game that she likes
Eli Gastright: She doesn’t know, I haven’t given them to her yet
Eli Gastright: I’m picking them up between appointments this afternoon
Sadie Stewart: AWWWWWWWWWW <3
Leo Mills: [GIF of Idris Elba giving an approving wink and thumbs up]
Eli Gastright: And she hasn’t been able to play these games in a while, and I know it would mean a lot to her if we could set an evening aside, all of us, sometimes soon so she can do that
Sadie Stewart: You are so effing bloody adorable
Dean Gastright: For sure, count me in
Dean Gastright: Not sure how to play, but I’m sure we’ll all pick it up
Sadie Stewart: YES
Leo Mills: I’m down :) that’s really nice, man
Eli Gastright: I’ve looked up the rules of the games and they’re reasonably straightforward
Eli Gastright: And I know she’ll love it, even if we’re not experts. She’ll be able to explain everything for us, and we can all look some stuff up in advance
Leo Mills: :) so when’s good
Sadie Stewart: I’ll check my diary tonight
Dean Gastright: I can be free whenever :)
Eli Gastright: I’ll sort something out with her tonight. Can’t wait to give them to her :)
Leo Mills: She’s gonna love it
Sadie Stewart: And I imagine you’ll get a great big thank you [wink emoji]
Leo Mills: Hey hey [wink emoji] Have fun
Emily
I wonder if I’ll ever become accustomed to the way it feels to walk down the street hand in hand with Eli Gastright.
He reaches for my hand automatically now that we’re a couple, straight away without hesitation.
I love it. It makes me feel so liked, so wanted, so utterly secure.
Even when I see the way women who pass us gaze at him with ill-concealed admiration.
I can’t even blame them, even if it does give me an unpleasant inner pang to see it.
He’s so gorgeous, and he comes across more warmly, and seems less serious and distant than when I first met him.
He’s started smiling more, showing the sweet soul hidden within, and even when he’s not actively smiling, his expression is somehow lighter.
And I thought he couldn’t get any hotter.
He chats with me easily as we stop off at the supermarket to pick up some andouille sausage for the jambalaya he wants to make me for dinner tonight. Wandering around the aisles with him feels deliciously domestic, a taste of what I could have on a regular basis if this works out. It’s enticing.
It’s also a little chilling.
Tamping down the unease of enjoying something too much, I follow him around quite happily as he grumbles about how tiny British prawns are in comparison to the shrimp he used to get in Louisiana, and I snuggle in a little as he hugs me from behind while we queue for the checkout.
I could definitely get used to this.
The thought makes me freeze. Since Gav selfishly reminded me of his existence on this planet last night, I’ve been getting these moments where I feel intensely anxious when I start to think about this new life with Eli.
It’s daft, and counterintuitive, and frustrating beyond all measure, but I don’t feel completely comfortable with romantic happiness right now.
I just feel like it’s something I could lose, and that I need to safeguard myself from the emotional consequences of such a loss.
The urge to run can be quite strong, and I’ve been fidgeting and fretting all day.
After all, I was happy with Gav to begin with.
I would never have dreamed he’d have had me crying myself to sleep, ever.
Nobody would volunteer for that. In my soul, I don’t believe Eli is cut from the same cloth, or we’d never have gotten this far.
..but I got it badly wrong once before. There are no guarantees I won’t ever get it wrong again.
And that thought chills me to my bones like a bucket of ice water dumped on me.
“Are you OK?” he asks me.
Shit. He noticed.
I turn and beam at him. “Yeah, just...someone walked over my grave, I guess.” I shrug, making light of it. It’s not his fault, after all, and I’m not willing to let him get punished for things someone else did to me. I need to stop dwelling on it.
He’s still giving me a searching look, so I tiptoe up - jeez, he’s so much taller than me, and I’m not a short person - and kiss him to distract him.
Thankfully, it seems to work. His lips are so gentle on mine that I wonder how I could ever think this man could have it in him to hurt me.
In case I needed proof, his phone rings when we’re leaving the supermarket.
“Sorry, I need to take this,” he says to me just before he answers it. “Hey, Aunt Wendy.”
I melt inside. Family really does mean the world to him. I can’t hear what Aunt Wendy is saying, but I can hear that she’s got that gorgeous Cajun drawl.
“Awrite. How’s ya mama an’ them?” He grins at me when he sees me gape and sigh appreciatively.
Since our phone sex incident, he knows what it does to me when he uses New Orleans slang, and he’s definitely got a broader accent while talking to family back home.
“Yeah, fixin’ to make my girl some o’dat Gastright family jambalaya like y’own tonight.
” He winces and holds the phone away from his ear, and I giggle as I hear happy squawking from the other end of the line.
“Yeah, I got me a girlfriend now. Few days. Emily. At the parlour.” He grins at me and raises his eyes to the sky as I giggle.
We’re walking much slower as he continues his conversation.
“Yup. Andouille sausage. Well, naw, not so fine as back home, but it’s the best I c’n do.
Yeah, I’m sure. Gon’ do y’all proud.” He laughs.
“Ain’t no jambalaya like Aunt Wendy’s, but I’ll do.
” He crooks his arm at me, nodding towards it insistently, and I take it, loving his determination to have some sort of contact with me as we walk.
“Yeah, Dean’s all good. Look like he sleepin’ better this week.
Only had to sit up with him one night. Uh-huh.
Yeah, his colour’s better. Not as grey. Yeah, I think he’s eating more’n he was.
” His face has gone a little serious. “OK. Yeah, you know it. OK. Yeah. Love to the family. Bye.” He rings off.
“Dean’s mama,” he explains to me. He chuckles at my expression. “What?”
“You go super Nawlins when you speak to family,” I tease.
He grins. “Don’t be acting like you don’t love it,” he teases right back, putting his arm around me and squeezing my shoulders.
He leans down to kiss my temple and whispers in my ear in his soft growl, “Laissez les bon temps rouler, chere.” He laughs, a deep, gorgeous, throaty rumble as I comically shiver with a lust I genuinely feel.
Eli’s flat is nice. It’s in what I’ve come to know is a desirable neighbourhood, and it’s clean and well-kept.
It’s minimalist, and all the furniture is black, but he clearly looks after it all.
It fills me with more confidence. Gav lived in a pigsty and expected me to be his maid.
Eli clearly doesn’t need me to fulfil that role, to my tremendous relief.
He puts the groceries on the kitchen counter and then turns to me, smiling a little bashfully. “I, uh, have somethin' for you,” he says with a smile that’s slowly starting to glow, like it’s being turned up by a dimmer switch.
“Oh?” I ask softly. Is this his way of propositioning me? Because I’ve got to say, I’m a little surprised that this is the route he chose.
He nods, and gestures behind me. “On the sofa.”
I turn, and there’s a very large carrier bag that seems to be filled with boxes.
I stop in my tracks.
The logo on the side is for Fonteyns, the gaming shop he took me to.
I gape at him. “What’s this?” My voice has gone all high.
He smiles shyly. “Take a look.”
Tentatively, I peer in the top, and let out a squeaky yelp of surprise, covering my mouth with both hands.
Sentinels of the Multiverse. My favourite game. I had almost all of the boxes, and Gav made me throw them out because he was sick of them taking up space when I never played with them...
I gently take the top one out, and am even more astonished when I peer into the rest of the bag.
Eli has not only replaced all the box sets of cards that I lost, but has bought me the ones I didn't have yet. Villains. Vengeance. OblivAeon.
And there, at the bottom, is the Lords of Waterdeep board game I showed him.
He’s spent easily two hundred pounds in one fell swoop, maybe more. This must be the errand he dashed off to do in the middle of the afternoon. I have no idea what to say.
“Oh my god,” I splutter, trembling a little. “You…” I take a shaky breath, tears pricking at my eyes. “You didn’t have to...I mean...this must have - ”
“Did I get the right ones?” he asks me gently, cutting over my squawks.
“Yes…”
“Thank fuck,” he says, visibly relieved. He folds his arms and nudges the floor with his beaten up biker boots. “You like ‘em?”
At a loss for words, I nod helplessly and throw my arms around his neck. He immediately holds me back. “Thank you so much,” I breathe, shaking a little, trying hard not to lose it.
“You’re so welcome.” He pulls back and leans his forehead against mine. “You’re gonna have to teach us all how to play. I sounded out the others, and they’re all down for a game night soon, whenever you want.”
“Thank you,” I say again, the words insufficient. Trying to get across how grateful I am for this amazing and extravagant gift, I press my lips to his. “I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay you,” I breathe.