Chapter 17
Quinn
Now
It had been a while since Quinn had gone out, and even longer since she’d had the chance to go to a lesbian bar.
She needed to do it more often, though, because just the experience of sitting there with Mel, surrounded by queer people, was helping her feel whole.
There was something hard to define, something incredibly special, about the safety of community.
The Melted Crayon was getting crowded. Mel had snagged them a table as soon as they’d arrived, ordering drinks from a server circulating the room, tray in hand.
There was a stage area to the left, with posters all over, leading Quinn to understand that they hosted drag shows on the weekends.
To the right, there was a modest-sized dance floor, with the tables and partition walls separating the space, creating the impression of different areas even though it was just one giant room.
They sat quietly, sipping their beers, taking in the energy of the crowd.
There were several people checking Mel out.
There always were. Quinn was used to it.
But Mel didn’t seem interested in talking to anyone else, and though she was keeping an eye on the crowd, Quinn kept catching Mel glancing back her way.
“How are you holding up?” her friend finally asked.
Quinn tried to imprint confusion on her face, to give the impression that she didn’t know why Mel was asking. “What do you mean?”
At that, Mel rolled her eyes. “Rhea Stewart is…not nothing, Q. ”
“What are you trying to say?” She probably didn’t want to hear it, but Quinn also didn’t want to deal with this awkward tension.
“It was kind of like a love letter to you,” Mel replied simply.
“You’re reading into it,” Quinn answered. What did Mel know about it?
“I had this idea in my head about her…but Audrey talks about her like the sun shines out of her ass, and Emma said she loves her, and you know how much I value Emma’s opinion on literally anything.
Plus, this Rhea thing…like, bringing this iconic swimmer to Chicago this week, knowing how much it would mean to you, and then just…
not telling you! Not making a big deal about it or asking anything from you?
That’s the piece of it that makes me feel like maybe I had her pegged wrong. ”
Yeah, that’s the part that had Quinn spinning, too. Because Liv could have swooped in with this grandiose gesture…but Quinn knew Liv better than that, or, at least, she had. And this felt like a sweet thing she did for an old friend. Maybe that’s all it needed to be.
“So, anyways, I did a thing…” Mel said this while peering over Quinn’s shoulder, and when she turned, she was face to face with Liv, with Audrey and Rhea Freaking Stewart flanking her sides.
For a moment, Quinn couldn’t process her shock.
Did this mean Audrey knew about them? About their history?
Liv brought her cousin to a queer bar. She couldn’t possibly have chosen to do that if she was still closeted.
Quinn’s focus snagged on Liv’s appearance.
She was still in that fucking suit, hugging every curve, that dark shade of lipstick dragging Quinn’s attention to her lips, holding her focus there for far longer than was decent.
She both hated and loved her body’s reaction, her fingers itching to reach out and grab Liv’s tie, to pull her in.
Mel was right. There was something about a femme in a suit .
“Ladies, join us,” Mel said, standing to grab an extra chair from the table next to them.
Rhea and Audrey both sat, but Liv remained standing, facing Quinn.
“Hey,” was all Liv said at first, but as soon as she said it, it was clear she’d already started drinking. Quinn saw it in the rosiness of her cheeks, in her subtle sway while she tried to stand still. Quinn had to stop her hands from reaching out to steady her. “Is it okay if I sit down?”
Quinn considered her for a long time before nodding.
Because this was Liv. Still checking in with her, even when she was tipsy, to make sure that Quinn was okay.
They’d been through so much, but the person that she knew was still in there.
This was the part of being near Liv that even Quinn forgot sometimes.
That she was always aware of the people around her, maybe overly so, trying to make sure that she was fitting into whatever box everyone needed her in.
They sank into seats next to each other, and Quinn fought the urge to lean in closer to her.
Instead, she turned to Rhea, who’d just shaken Mel’s hand, and they took turns introducing themselves, Quinn convincing herself that there was not at all a reason for her to be embarrassed when she giggled—it absolutely was a giggle that escaped her mouth—and told Rhea about her obsession with her.
“I know y’all too,” Rhea said, and Quinn’s jaw might’ve hit the ground. Rhea gestured to Liv. “Olivia sent me your video a few years ago. We should talk sometime over the next few days about what you could do for my foundation.”
Quinn was beginning to wonder if maybe their video had gone viral simply because Liv had sent it to everyone she’d ever met. When she dared to shoot a glance over at Liv, she saw that her face had turned an even deeper shade of red.
“No work talk,” Audrey said loudly, waving her hands between them .
“What do you want to talk about instead?” Mel asked, quirking an eyebrow.
She gestured for a server to come over, ordering another round of drinks: another beer for herself, and, after confirming what everyone else wanted, mixed drinks for Audrey and Liv, and water for Rhea and Quinn, which Mel had booed at, but Quinn was already feeling the pull of Liv.
She did not need to lower her inhibitions.
“Oh, you are trouble,” Audrey replied, though she was fluttering her eyelashes dramatically. It was ridiculous, but Mel was not a complicated creature, so Quinn had to admit that the effort may work for her.
“I’m sorry, Mel,” Liv spoke up. “Do I need to explain to Audrey that she needs to stop looking at you like you’re just a sex toy she can use?”
“Oh, Audrey. Ignore everything she just said. Feel free to use me,” Mel said, grinning wolfishly.
Audrey giggled at that and simply repeated, “Trouble.”
Rhea started teasing Mel, asking her if she ever used “do it badly” to pick up women, and Mel proudly confirmed that yes, of course she had. Quinn knew this to be true, as she’d seen it work several times.
As they were talking, Quinn felt Liv draw in close, close enough so that no one else could hear, and she heard her whisper, “To be fair. You can be your own kind of trouble.”
Quinn felt the words all over her body, heat threading through her, and when she turned to Liv, she saw the want clearly etched across her face. Quinn sucked in a sharp breath. “Liv, I think we need to be careful here.”
Liv bit her plump lower lip, the stark white of her teeth contrasting with the red wine of her painted lips, and Quinn had a vivid image of taking that lip with her own mouth. Of sucking and biting, claiming it for herself.
Quinn took a gulp of water in an attempt to cool down.
“You knew I was going to be here this week,” Liv murmured .
“I assumed, yeah,” Quinn answered honestly.
“What did you think would happen?” Liv asked. Her face was almost hopeful, her hand reaching to rest on Quinn’s forearm, and Quinn needed to shut this down.
“I didn’t think anything would happen,” Quinn replied, and that was…true, she thought, checking in with herself.
“Because you thought I was married,” Liv said, sipping on her drink.
Quinn wasn’t sure if it was a question. “Sure, that was a part of it. It’s also been a long time.”
“A long time, sure,” Liv agreed. She bit that lip again, pausing before she continued. “So, you’re not attracted to me anymore?”
Quinn slammed her eyes closed, trying to breathe through the moment. This could not happen again. She would not let it. She was strong enough not to give in to her baser desires. Still… “Liv. I don’t know how you could even ask me that. Especially when you look like this .”
“I’m hot, right?” Liv replied, gesturing up and down her body.
“Of course,” Quinn answered. “I have always thought you were beautiful.”
Beautiful was the wrong word choice, Quinn regretted it as soon as it escaped her lips. ‘Beautiful’ was too sweet, it was too kind, too real, and she knew it by the slow breath that Liv released, by the way her face softened.
Quinn attempted to fix her mistake. “You’re extremely hot. But we don’t even know each other anymore.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Liv responded. “I don’t think you’ve changed much since college.”
“What makes you say that?” Quinn replied.
The corners of Liv’s lips tipped up. “Well, you switched to drinking water. Always so careful, so steadfast, having my back. ”
“I think one of us should maintain some sense of control here,” Quinn told her. Liv’s hand was still on her arm, the warmth radiating out, and she wanted to ask her to remove it almost as much as she wanted her to move it to much more interesting parts of her body.
“Are you afraid of what you’d do if you lost some control?” Liv asked quietly.
Quinn couldn’t help but utter the truth. “Yes.”
Liv looked shocked at Quinn’s honesty, and her fingers started moving, meandering slowly up Quinn’s arm. But before she could say anything else, they both realized that the other members of their party had all stood.
“We’re going to dance,” Mel said, wiggling her eyebrows again suggestively.
“All three of you,” Quinn squeaked. That may have been the only thing that could have distracted her from the conversation between her and Liv.
Rhea barked out a laugh. “Not like that. I’m happily and monogamously married. To a man, even! It can happen.”
“Oof, sounds terrible,” Mel joked, and Rhea laughed again, because of course she did; everyone found Mel charming.
“Come with us,” Audrey demanded.