Chapter 32 #2
Liv wanted to reward that goodness. She pressed up with her knee, Quinn seeming to understand what she was trying to do, shifting so that Liv could slot her thigh between Quinn’s legs.
And Liv’s body shook again when she felt Quinn grind on her, when she felt how wet she was for Liv as she chased her own pleasure.
“Fuck, Quinn, you’re the hottest thing I’ve ever seen,” Liv murmured, enamored with the way her body moved, watching the way her muscles rippled and contracted.
Liv snaked her hand between them, moving so that she was flat against her own leg, planting her fingers for Quinn to press and thrust against. In only a few more pumps of her hips, Quinn came undone, moaning through her release, her body movement stuttering imprecisely before stopping, leaving her panting in the stillness and quiet of the room.
“That was pretty good,” Quinn said as she rolled off Liv, though she didn’t go far, gluing herself to Liv’s side. She still sounded breathless, and the playfulness that overtook her sexy face made it clear she was teasing, but Liv swatted lightly at her shoulder.
“Pretty good,” Liv replied before nodding her agreement. “Sure, I suppose I’d give you above average marks as well.”
“I guess I’ll just have to try harder,” Quinn said, smiling at the challenge, and they fell into each other again.
They didn’t mean to fall asleep, but they must’ve passed out around four in the morning, entirely spent, Liv feeling sated, though not completely. She didn’t think she’d ever get her fill of Quinn.
When Quinn’s alarm went off just a few hours later, Liv woke to find her body exhausted, in the best way. She stretched her limbs, enjoying the warmth of Quinn wrapped around her, still in the process of waking up.
Quinn grumbled unintelligibly before pressing her mouth into Liv’s neck, and oh, Liv had a fleeting thought, a memory and a wish, of what her life was and could be like if this was how she started every day. She sat up, abruptly turning to face Quinn, who became more alert with the movement.
“Can I text you?” Liv asked quietly. She’d been afraid to bring this up, afraid to disrupt the balance they’d tried to strike this week, to imagine opening a window when they closed the door on their new goodbye. “Or, do you need, like…no contact?”
Quinn was clearly torn. “What do you think makes sense?”
“I don’t think any of this makes sense,” Liv replied honestly. “But just seeing you again, being around you… I’ve missed you so much. I’d like to stay in touch, even if it’s as friends. Like, actually as friends.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know if I can be your friend.” Quinn seemed distraught over her own words, which Liv appreciated, because she felt like she was shattering. “I tried, in college, but I think you know that I was in love with you, pretty much right away.”
Liv felt her face flush, her mind whirling. She didn’t know what to say, the feelings stirring inside her at once too big to contain and far too vast to let loose.
“You don’t need to reply,” Quinn said, before adding with a self-deprecating tone, “And please, don’t try to pretend like you didn’t know.”
“I…honestly don’t know if I did know,” Liv replied.
When Quinn shook her head in disbelief, Liv continued, “I wasn’t in a good place.
I’m not making excuses, but I hadn’t dealt with everything with my sister, and my parents had just…
they had shut down emotionally, but they were also holding on to me so tightly.
It was such a strange mix, and it was terrible.
I don’t think I would have believed it, even if you had said something back then.
Hell, Emma did try to tell me, but I wasn’t in a place where I could hear it. ”
“Oh, I’m going to have words with her about that,” Quinn said.
“You had to know, though, that I had feelings for you, too,” Liv replied, her words clawing their way out. “You were my sunshine. You brightened every single day, you were warmth, and you were the first thing that ever felt like home.”
Quinn bit her lip, her face thoughtful, before she shrugged. “I don’t think I can do this right now. I need some time to figure out where my head is at. Is that okay?”
“Of course,” Liv said, her heart breaking as she tried to give Quinn what she was asking for, tried to be what she needed, for once.
They both moved to get out of bed, silently dressing. Quinn must’ve packed the previous night, because she was ready and stacking her bags by the door within just a few minutes, waiting for Liv to put on yesterday’s clothes so that she could return to her own hotel room, alone.
“I really am glad we got this time,” Quinn said. Liv just nodded, trying her best not to cry. It was clear that she wasn’t masking her feelings, that Quinn could see right through her. She looked at her with an agonizing combination of compassion and pity, and simply breathed out, “ Liv .”
The hug that followed forced the air from Liv’s lungs, evidenced by the inelegant grunt that escaped her lips as Quinn squeezed her long arms around Liv’s middle. Liv squeezed her back, holding her tightly for one, two, too many beats, before she made herself pull away.
“I’m going to go,” Liv said. “Be safe.”
“Goodbye,” Quinn replied, a sadness in her eyes that made Liv ache, understanding entirely that she was the cause of the pain .
Liv made it to the elevator before she broke down, sobbing into her hands, the weight of knowing exactly what she was walking away from a tangible, crushing presence in the small room, the mirrored walls showing her exactly how pitiful she’d become.