Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Liaden
L esson learned: always let Leo buy the first round.
He presents us all with not one, but two shots of Jaegermeister, and I win his everlasting respect when I down three.
Sadie didn’t want both of hers, and I volunteered to take one when she insisted, above Leo's protests that there’s never been anything in his rules about donating them to others.
I’m so glad I can hold my liquor, but even I wince at three in quick succession.
Still, the cheering from Leo, Sadie, and Emily is gratifying.
I can’t help but notice, when I unclench my eyes, that Eli isn’t joining in, or smiling.
The look he’s giving me is almost sad. I wouldn’t have thought someone as likeable as Emily would accept the proposal of a man who found women drinking alcohol to be ‘unladylike’, or some other moronic sexist bullshit, so there must be more to it.
“Impressed,” Leo says, lifting his glass to his lips before pausing. He turns to Sadie. “Can’t imagine old Petey boy managing that, eh, Sades? But then, he’d never slum it in here with us. Tonight being a case in point. ”
Sadie’s smile fades, and she glares at him with a dark, angry look.
“Leave it,” she bites out, and turns back to Emily, who gives Leo a bewildered reproachful look.
He holds his hands up as a truce, and turns quickly to me, his face giving nothing away about why he said such a thing out of nowhere.
“Oh - happy birthday for the other day.” He clinks his glass lightly against mine, and Emily, Eli, and a still-pissed-off looking Sadie, follows suit.
“Thanks,” I reply, slightly out of breath from the Jaegerbombs.
“Dean gave me a cupcake to mark the occasion. It was so sweet. The gesture, I mean, not the cupcake. Well…the cupcake was sweet as well, obviously, but I meant…” Leo chuckles at me, and everyone grins at my rambling.
I join in, covering my eyes with my hands.
“I’ve never been so inarticulate in all my life . ”
“You and Dean seem to be, ah, getting on rather well…” Sadie trails off, clearly feeling better enough to go after some details. Emily also sits forward.
I smile into my wine. “I like to think so. He’s…
an enigma, to say the least. But a good one.
” When I look up, I find myself looking directly into Eli’s eyes.
They’re a sharper blue than Dean’s soft ocean shade, and an equally sharp unease radiates from them.
I’m not surprised that he’s treating me with caution, and I mentally prepare for the fact that, if anything happens between me and Dean, I have something to prove to Eli. To all of them, probably.
I sigh. “Is it fair to say he’s not coming tonight?” Bollocks; subtlety failure. Even I can hear the disappointed note in my voice.
Leo smiles sympathetically. “Never say never, but…probably not, no.”
I nod. “I can see why. I mean, what would be the point in showing up to an activity you can’t join in with in any way?
Hardly surprisingly that this isn’t his cup of Darjeeling.
” I look at the karaoke machine, open to everyone here, closed to Dean.
He’s excluded from the whole point of the night.
All he’d be able to do is watch others have a good time.
I imagine it for a second: never being able to talk, yell, sing…
never being able to make a single sound using my voice.
Having it ripped away from me with no hope of recovering it.
It’s unfathomable, uncomfortable for a noise maker like me to even consider.
As soon as I was able to talk, I’d chatter and sing and debate all day long.
I jabbered all day as a baby before I was able to make any coherent sense, in a rush to be able to communicate with the world around me.
So why would he come here? Even on my account.
How conceited and dense of me to think otherwise.
“We should have picked another activity,” I conclude.
“Something more Dean friendly that he could actually be a part of.” I suddenly realise I could easily be perceived as lecturing these people on common decency, which isn’t ideal when I’m trying to be friends with them.
But I still find myself unable to resist adding, “Maybe next time we can ask him what he wants to do.”
I risk a look at them all. Leo is smothering a grin. Sadie and Emily are making no such effort, though Emily’s smile is the softer of the two. Eli is looking at me like he’s never seen me before, and his jaw isn’t as tight as it was.
“I mean, yeah, that’s fair,” Leo replies, “though he has come to these nights before, it’s just to listen to the rest of us. And point and laugh. But we do do other more Dean-centric things, too.” His eyes are kind and reassuring.
I twist my mouth ruefully. “I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t - ”
“It’s the crowds,” Eli cuts in. “Social atmospheres make him kinda squirrely sometimes. You can imagine why.” I like his New Orleans drawl.
I can almost hear the street jazz bands and smell the jambalaya as he talks.
He gives me proper eye contact again, making damn sure I’m listening.
“He’s not the type of guy to want to go out on the town much, y’know?
” He nods meaningfully at my empty shot glasses as they are taken away by one of the bar staff as they clear the table.
Aha. Cautionary advice. I must be this tall to enter the ride.
“I can completely understand that,” I reply, returning his eye contact.
“I mean, I won’t pretend I can relate to what he went through during the shooting, or what must have been months and months of physical recovery, to say nothing of the trauma.
But even I can imagine crowded events lack appeal for him.
And why would anyone put themselves through that unnecessarily?
” I look around the pub; it’s busy, though I wouldn’t say it’s bursting at the seams. But who am I to say where that line is drawn for Dean?
Eli’s expression softens. “It’s not that he doesn’t want to be here,” he assures me quietly. Emily looks at him as though surprised he disclosed that, and squeezes his hand. He automatically squeezes back.
“Well, like I said, next time - assuming there is a next time - we can do something Dean wants to do.”
That earns me a real smile from Eli, broad and approachable. The stilted, gruff, guarded behemoth from before has melted away, and I can definitely understand what Emily sees in him. The man has a smile that could melt Haagen-Dazs, and we all know how rock hard that can be to scoop.
Guess I pass muster, after all.
Leo looks up and grins. “Aww, Erica,” he says to a pretty brunette carrying a tray of lurid pink cocktails in Manhattan glasses, “if I’d known you were working tonight, I’d’ve worn those leather trousers you like so much.
” Wow, he really does turn on the charm full blast with everyone at every opportunity.
Erica smirks back at him. “Don’t sweat it, handsome, you sure as shit fill out those jeans nicely.” The cocktails are apparently for us, and she passes us one each.
“You’re all welcome,” Leo says, confirming my suspicions about where they came from.
“What are these?” Sadie asks, trying one and moaning with appreciation and delight. “That is nice .”
“They’re called Bubblegum Fizzes,” Erica tells her.
“And I got them to welcome our own Pink Lady,” Leo says, holding one up and toasting me. “Welcome to the gang, Rizzo,” he says with a wink, the incorrigible flirt, and I can already tell he’s a definite friend.
Le o
Liaden, it has to be said, is endearing as fuck, and I don’t see how anyone could help but like her.
And I’m relieved to see Eli unclench enough to give her a chance as well.
I get it: he’s the one who takes care of Dean the most, he’s done it for years, and he’s on a sharp lookout for any sign that Liaden could hurt him.
Hence the stern what-are-your-intentions parental vibe he’s got going on.
But she deserves the benefit of the doubt, and when she showed real empathy and argued that we should have done a more Dean-friendly activity tonight, he was as won over as he could possibly be.
It was spot on perfect, sincere, and exactly what he needed to hear to ease up on her.
And our ladies have immediately warmed to her, too.
There’s ‘new friend’ energy flying around, the warmth and recognition of meeting people you like and have things in common with, and I can definitely see them having girls’ nights out together.
And girls’ nights in, with any luck. Please have pillow fights and live stream them, pretty please…
Dr O’Brien is a one quirky woman, that’s for sure.
She talks so fast even I’m exhausted, and it’s fun and stimulating trying to keep up with her.
We’ve been talking about the best eighties movies, and whereas I’m fully Team Lost Boys - not least because of the sweaty sax guy’s awesome moves - Liaden made a really good pitch for Fast Times at Ridgmont High , citing the ahead-of-its-time sex positivity for young women and reminding me of that fantastic scene with Phoebe Cates at the pool.
Sadie is Team St Elmos Fire , because I know she has a thing for Rob Lowe’s character, Eli is team Karate Kid , and Emily is all about Lloyd Dobler in Say Anything , creepy boombox moment and all.
And the more I listen to Liaden talk and gesticulate about the ‘positive sibling relationship’ between Judge Reinhold and Jennifer Jason Leigh in Fast Times , and the more I watch her confidence and easygoing, ready smiles, the more convinced I am that here is Dean’s ideal partner, in ways I don’t think any of us could have predicted.