6. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Arlo
It’s been a few days since … everything happened with Rina, and it’s still all I can think about. I’m distracted and no amount of work, working out, or avoidance provides any clarity for me.
My head is a mess, and Audrey has been giving me concerned looks. Apparently, it’s possible to look grumpier than I usually do, according to her.
I drop my head to my desk in a lame attempt to clear my head and focus on shit that needs to get done.
“Knock, knock. Bad time?” Oakley’s voice disrupts my self-loathing.
“Nope. How can I help you?” I sigh as I lift my head up.
“You okay?” he asks with a tilt of his head.
“Peachy. What’s going on?” I hear the bluntness of my words, but my brain is too muddled to address it.
His eyebrow arches before he walks in and takes a seat in front of my desk.
“I meant to get over here earlier, but the shop’s been busy as hell since we re-opened. A couple of days ago, Rina came in telling Will and me about a knocked-over pile of wood on her property. She’s claiming it’s probably an animal, but it hasn’t been sitting right with me. I’ve been on her property and know how high some of her stacks are, and it would take one hell of a huge animal to do any damage to it.”
“It could have been an animal,” I grumble. Inside, I’m trying to figure out how quickly I can go check out her property for myself while doing it covertly enough that she doesn’t know. My heart rate has skyrocketed, thinking the worst.
“We both know that’s bullshit, Sheriff.”
“Arlo,” I say automatically.
“Whatever. I just wanted you to be aware. I plan to keep an eye out if I see anything suspicious.”
“Thank you for that,” I concede, even though my head is spiraling with thoughts of anything happening to Rina.
“Have you talked with Lennox recently?” Oakley thankfully changes the subject.
“I haven’t. I was going to finish up stuff here and then maybe stop by and check on him.” Lennox has been weighing on me too. I pulled him from that cabin, and I can’t help but wonder if I did enough, moved fast enough to get him to the hospital. He has extensive injuries. Even though it’s illogical, I feel some of the blame lands on me.
“I texted him earlier, seeing if he wanted a panini. I’ve been doing it every other day or so to not piss him off and annoy him too much, but he said he would be okay with food and visiting tomorrow. You want to join me?” Oakley asks.
“Do you think he would even want that?” I cringe at my uncertainty. I haven’t seen Lennox since I first dropped him off at the hospital. Didn’t feel like it was my place to encroach on family time to check on him. I’ve gotten updates, sure, but nothing from the man himself .
“I think he would appreciate some non-pressured guy time without the family around. He seems to be doing well enough, but that makes me more worried, honestly. He’s putting on a good face around his siblings, but…”
“But he won’t talk about what happened with anyone, and now he’s internalizing it.”
“It has to eat him up inside. Hell, he seems too well-adjusted compared to every other victim we encountered. Maybe it’s because he wasn’t branded, or-or strangled” —he visibly swallows— “but he still went through too much to just brush it under the rug.” His words are only a whisper toward the end.
I take a minute to really look at Oakley. He’s been through a lot, just like everyone else, except Tennison coming to Bluebell Falls was all about him. A vendetta if you will. The guilt has to be all-encompassing. His head is bowed, his shirt is a little rumpled, but otherwise, he looks okay. Probably more worried about Lennox if my hunch about the man is right. It’s why I’ve been subtly recruiting him since I found out he was an ex-U.S. Marshal. It’s why, a week ago, I asked him point blank to come work with me. He turned me down but agreed to help if needed. Coming in here to tell me about what’s going on with Rina tells me he’ll be a good asset to the department.
Now, I just need to curb my reaction so I’m able to check in on Lennox.
“I think stopping by would be a good idea. No pressure on Lennox, and if he’s uncomfortable, we can leave.”
“Agreed. I close up shop around three and can meet you here tomorrow?” he asks.
“Perfect. I’ll be ready to go. ”
He stands up and leaves without further conversation. I like that about him. He doesn’t try to prolong shit for no reason. Lord knows my attention span for long-winded conversations is reserved for the elders of this town.
Turning to my computer, I see it’s just after three p.m., which means Audrey is getting ready to leave for the day. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not, seeing as I can’t focus at all. I need to get my head on straight, but between the constant worry about Lennox and now wondering what the hell is going on at Rina’s place, my nerves are a little more than shot.
“I’m heading out. Maybe you should too. Keep your phone on, but call it early today.” Audrey sticks her head in right on time.
“Thank you for continuing to point out how much I look like shit today. It’s truly appreciated.”
“Anytime, Boss. Seriously, though, go home. It’s quiet today, and everyone knows to call your cell if there’s an emergency. Paperwork can wait.”
Wise, wise Audrey. She may be young, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders.
“You may be onto something.” I sigh, relenting to the fact that I’m completely useless right now. “I’ll be right behind you. Have a good evening, Audrey.”
She smiles one of her overly large ones that takes over her entire face and bounces out the front door.
Stretching my arms over my head in an attempt to release the painful tension in my back, I contemplate taking some work home with me but decide against it. A fresh start tomorrow will probably do me better. Locking up as I leave, I walk the two blocks to my house. I pass by the house I spent most of my youth in and stop in my tracks.
This house holds a lot of memories, both good and bad. There’s a reason I joined the military, and it’s because of the former owner of this house, my uncle Charlie. My mom passed away when I was six, and I never knew my dad. Uncle Charlie was my mom’s brother and took me in without a moment’s hesitation.
He was a marine for a good portion of his life and then came back here to be close to my mom and me. He worked random jobs, mostly handyman stuff, and never complained about anything. I wanted to be just like him. He was always happy, always willing to help a person out, no matter what it entailed. I decided in high school to follow in his footsteps and go into the Marines. I think it’s the proudest I’d ever seen him when I told him I was going into the Marines. He’s also where I got my nickname for Rina, Emmerdeur . He used to say it so endearingly, and it just stuck. I’m not even sure what it means, but it’s been what I’ve called her since we were eighteen.
Then, four years into my service, he was murdered by a traveler who was looking for some quick cash. He took advantage of Charlie’s good nature and killed him for his service. When my injury happened just over a year later, it felt like the right move to come back here and take over the sheriff’s duties. Old Man Walter was beyond ready to retire, and I wanted to ensure nothing like what happened to Uncle Charlie ever happened again.
And look what happened to Lennox and Oakley on your watch.
Shaking my head from the memories, I continue on to my little bungalow. I could have just moved into Charlie’s house when I moved back, but it felt tainted. Instead, I’m in a little two-bedroom right off of downtown, so I’m available to everyone. Funny that I’m never actually here, it seems, always sitting in the office or patrolling.
Real full life you’re living here.
Finally reaching my house, I stomp up the steps and unlock the door before stepping in and slamming the door shut. I wasn’t expecting to analyze everything that feels wrong in my life at the moment, and I don’t feel equipped enough to actually do it.
Sitting on my hand-me-down couch, I feel restless. My fingers are tapping my thigh, and I’m starting to feel the subtle onset of pain radiating from my back. Ever since I got Lennox out of that damn cabin, my back has been hurting more than usual, and I know I probably tweaked something in it. The problem is, I haven’t had time to go get it checked out. And if I’m honest with myself, I don’t want more bad news about it, so I’m avoiding it altogether.
I close my eyes and try to focus on something other than the pain I know is coming. Having three burst fractures on your vertebrae and then having a spinal fusion to fix them means the pain only grows throughout the day. Tilting my head back, I take a few practiced deep breaths.
In for the count of ten.
Out for the count of ten.
Repeat a million times.
It doesn’t help my back pain, but it does help my head focus on something else. Once I’m in that floaty stage where my brain feels like it’s over-oxygenated, I lift my head up and focus on what my plans are for the rest of the day.
I look at my watch and see just over an hour has passed, which is mildly ridiculous. This just means Audrey was right. I was useless at work today .
Leaning forward, I prop my hands on my knees and prepare for the inevitable slice of pain that will shoot down my back and legs when I stand up. This is the only place I can let the pain show. Everywhere else, I just ignore it and act like everything is perfectly normal. I think that’s why I freaked out so much when Rina saw my damn scar on my hip. No one knows why I came back here after I was dead set on being a career Marine, and I prefer to keep it that way.
I put all my effort into standing up, swaying on my feet once I’m finally there before stabilizing myself on the back of the couch. I fucking hate this shit. It makes me feel like half of a man, even though I know I’m fully capable of normal activities.
Walking the ten steps to my small kitchen feels like a chore, but once I’m finally there, I’m able to pre-heat the oven and toss in a pizza.
Fifteen minutes later, I’m still standing in my kitchen, pulling out the now cooked cardboard pizza. I realize I only have so much strength left in my back and hip today, so I quickly cut up the pizza and plate it, taking it to the bathroom with me.
The only thing that helps when the pain gets to be too much is an Epsom bath, so it looks like dinner is in the bathtub tonight. Placing my scalding hot dinner on the vanity, I turn on the water as hot as I can stand it and dump in an obscene amount of Epsom salt. I eat two slices of pizza while I wait for the tub to fill up before stripping out of my work clothes. Dipping a toe in, I hiss at the depths of hell that is the hot water, but I know it’ll be good for my body. I slowly lower myself into the water, gritting my teeth the entire time. Once my body adjusts to the temperature, I relax against the tub wall. Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths as the worst of the pain finally eases.
Stretching my hand out, I grab a slice of pizza. Everything is small in this house, so the vanity is within reach of the tub, making it easy to reach without opening my eyes. The water finally hits my chest, and I slowly lean forward to shut it off before collapsing back.
While the pain in my hip and back seems to be mellowing, my head is bombarded with everything that’s happened in the last week. What a clusterfuck things are. I don’t even know how to make things better for Lennox, for Oakley, and mostly for Rina. Hell, I’ll be lucky if she even acknowledges my presence after what happened Friday night. I fully expect her hatred for me to grow, not diminish.
I rub the spot on my ribcage, just small enough to not be noticed in the dim light that was Rina’s entryway. Thank God, too, because if I didn’t want to explain my scar, I sure as hell don’t want to explain my tattoo.
Not to the person it was for.
Being with Rina again makes me remember why we went through hell to be together in the first place. Makes me remember why I got a tattoo for her. Makes me realize I’d still do anything for that woman.
I pick up my phone sitting next to my plate of mostly eaten pizza and scroll through to her name. I pull up our text thread and foolishly start typing.
Me:
I miss you.
Me:
I know I fucked up.
I erase everything I’m tempted to write because it doesn’t matter. I did fuck up, and now I get to deal with the consequences of those actions. The actions of a scared young man who didn’t know what else to do. One who thought he was doing the right thing.
My phone dings in my hand, scaring the shit out of me, so much so that I almost drop it in the tub.
Rina:
What are you doing currently?
.