Chapter 6
Denise
The worst I could ever say about Isaac is that he’s reserved, sometimes even cold. But he has a sense of humour he lets out once in a while, so maybe this is one of those moments. After all, he’s never been inappropriate with me. I wait for him to smile, or any hint of amusement in his expression.
Nothing changes.
He’s serious about this.
I shake my head in disbelief and as an answer to his outrageous request.
“Isaac, you can’t—that’s not what I was offering! When I said anything you want, I meant like cleaning or—or helping with errands. Regular stuff!”
“I already have a housekeeper, and I can handle all my errands.”
“Is there nothing else I can do for you?”
“You can let me see what’s under your towel.”
I tremble, my grip tightening on the soft cotton, my voice high and quavering.
“I’m not OK with you seeing me naked!”
He scowls. “And I’m not going to ask again. If you don’t want to do this, you and Matt will pack up and leave my property on Friday.”
My hold on my towel becomes a white-knuckle grip.
Isaac wants something wrong. Something he shouldn’t ask of me.
As the seconds pass, the question, how could he ask me to do something like that, morphs into, how dare he ask me to do something like that.
I should tell him fuck off. That I’m not that desperate to do anything depraved.
But I am that desperate.
If I don’t give Isaac what he wants, Matt and I will be homeless, and I don’t want to live on the street. I can prevent that by letting my towel fall and let Isaac see my body.
It’s not a hard task but it feels like the toughest decision I’ve ever had to make. No other man has seen me naked but Matt. My boyfriend. Getting naked for another man, a man who’s off-limits, isn’t just wrong, it’s immoral.
Isaac watches me as if he can read every thought in my spiral of internal conflict.
I swallow my pride and close my eyes, hating Matt, hating Isaac, hating myself as I slacken my hold on my towel.
When my fingers release the material, it slides down my body like a caress, a gust fanning my legs as it falls around my feet.
It’s so quiet. Too quiet. My heart thuds hard, the sound loud in my ears over the hum of the fridge at my back.
I’ve never felt more naked in my life. Humiliation cloaks me, but it doesn’t hide my body from Isaac’s stare as it glides over my skin like a physical touch.
When I sense him moving closer, I cover my breasts and mound with my hands.
“Don’t hide yourself. I want to see everything,” he says, his voice low and rough.
My eyes snap open and I glare at him.
“Haven’t you seen enough?”
“I decide when it’s enough.”
“But I did what you asked!”
He scoffs. “You didn’t even do the bare minimum to make up for the trouble you and your boyfriend caused. I’ll tell you when I’m satisfied.”
“That’s not fair! You said—”
“Lower your hands,” he growls, a determined gleam in his eyes. “Or I’ll do it for you.”
I’m blindsided by his threat and his personality change right before my eyes. Isaac is a completely different person now than the considerate man I’ve always known. He’s taking full advantage of his power in this situation. I let my hands fall to my sides, revealing my naked body again.
Isaac steps closer, invading my personal space. I can’t retreat with the fridge behind me. He’s over a head taller than me, his shoulders and chest broad too. His nearness makes me hyperaware of his greater height and strength.
“You’re so beautiful.”
He slides the backs of his fingers over my left shoulder and down my arm. I shiver, and I want to believe it’s from exposure, not because I’m enjoying Isaac’s appreciation and caress.
But I can’t lie to myself. Deep down, I’m self-conscious, worried about the flawed areas of my body bared for him to see. So I like his compliment, and I like the reverent way he said it too.
Worst of all, I like how he’s looking at me as if he’s just found buried treasure after a years-long search. Matt has never looked at me that way.
I jerk away from his touch and my treacherous thoughts.
“You’re not supposed to say that to me.”
“Why wouldn’t I? It’s the truth.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s true. It matters what our relationship dynamic has been like for all these years! So it’s wrong for you to say it while you’re looking at my naked body. It’s wrong for you to want to see me naked in the first place, Isaac.”
“That’s tame compared to what I really want.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Dread sharpens my voice.
He cups my face and traces my lips with his thumb.
“It means that after looking at your body, I want to know what it’s like to have your pretty lips on me.”
“You want me to suck you off?”
Isaac smiles. “I accept your offer.”
“It’s not an offer. I said it out loud so you can hear how wrong it sounds.”
“Get on your knees and suck my cock. How does that sound?”
Isaac has always seemed like the perfect example of a good man. I’m stunned he’s capable of saying something so filthy. Showing him my naked body is bad enough. What he wants from me now is even worse. But there are only two choices for me: go down on him, or go homeless.
What if he moves the goal posts again?
What if he wants more than a blowjob?
Will I cross that line too?
I can’t answer that last question which tells me something about myself I didn’t want to know.
Isaac has taught me a lot of things over the years.
How to play basketball, how to ride a bike, how to solve an advanced math problem on my homework once, how to parallel park.
Today, he showed me how I’m willing to throw away my moral compass to avoid an inconvenient life.
Without saying another word, I sink to my knees.