Chapter 11
Denise
Playing a video game is the perfect distraction from the hammer hanging over our heads. It feels good to laugh and have fun with Matt instead of being angry with him.
When he pulls me into a congratulatory hug and kisses my cheek after I beat a hard mission, guilt creeps in and dampens my mood.
I believe in faithfulness and honesty. I never would’ve cheated on him if I hadn’t been forced to, and now I feel like I need to clear my conscience by telling him the truth.
But I can’t. That would be like putting my reputation—and Isaac’s—in a box, then tossing a live grenade in there too.
As soon as we stop playing the game, reality swoops in like if it’s been lying in wait.
Isaac is probably home now.
I pick up my phone, tempted to text him everything instead of facing him. Reluctantly, I ask if I can come see him.
Yes, he replies a few minutes later.
“I’ll be right back,” I say to Matt, then sling on a sweater and head outside.
My limbs feel a bit shaky as I climb the deck stairs, though it’s not just the chilly night breeze causing it. The warm, amber glow of the railing lights chases away the darkness, while the chirps of crickets fill the air.
After I knock on the back door, I don’t have to wait long. Isaac opens it, the interior light spilling out onto the deck. He looks tired, and he’s wearing pajama pants. Was he in bed already?
His gaze pins me, heightening my anxiety.
It’s unfair how good he is at hiding his emotions while my body is like a scrolling billboard, broadcasting everything I feel.
Like now, my face is warm enough that I’m sure it’s flushed, which means he knows I’m thinking about what we did a few hours ago. Is he thinking about it too?
Forget about that.
Do what you came to do.
“Matt sold your watch to a pawn shop,” I say quickly.
The best way to deliver bad news is like ripping off a wax strip—fast and with purpose.
“We went to get it back, but the store was closed by the time we got there. I’ll try again tomorrow.
” I wait for his response. When there’s none, I prompt him. “Is that OK?”
“Sure.”
There’s no inflection to his tone. Just a dry one-word answer that fills me with both relief and annoyance. I’m glad he’s not sticking to the by tonight part of his threat, but I panicked and stressed over nothing because of it.
“That’s it? You’re not mad?”
“Do you want me to be?”
“No, I just—earlier, you were really upset about this.”
“I guess you did a good job calming me down.”
My eyes widen. “Wow. You’re not even sorry about what you did.”
“I’m not proud of it.” He steps down onto the deck, moving closer, his imposing height dwarfing me.
“I was an asshole. But let’s not ignore your part in this.
For all your protests, you sure seemed eager blowing a man who isn’t your boyfriend.
” His voice becomes silken, almost taunting.
“Tell me the truth, if I’d wanted more than that, you would’ve let me, wouldn’t you? ”
I hope Matt can’t hear any of this.
“I wouldn’t,” I say, forcing as much conviction into the words as I can. He tilts his head, a knowing look in his eyes. He knows I’m lying. I break eye contact.
“How much did Matt get for pawning my watch?”
Afraid the answer will piss him off, I hesitate.
“Three hundred dollars.”
Isaac scoffs and shakes his head. “It was worth nearly four times that.”
Oh my god. I knew the watch was expensive, but I’m still stunned by the actual cost.
“He sucks at bargaining,” he continues, then peers down the stairs at the closed basement door. “And he’s a coward too. He’s hiding from me, isn’t he?”
“You said he’s not allowed on your deck.” I pause and take a breath. “Look, as I said, I’ll drop by the shop tomorrow. It’s not far from work. I’ll go on my lunch break.”
“Pawn shops buy low and sell high.” His tone softens. “You won’t get it back for the three hundred they gave to Matt. Tell me what store and I’ll get it—”
“No. You said it yourself—I indirectly caused this. I’ll undo it. I’ll pay their price.”
He lets out a soft, amused huff at me throwing his words back at him but says nothing.
“I have savings,” I continue. “And I can pawn the ring Matt bought with the money to help cover some of the cost.”
His expression darkens. “What kind of ring did he buy?”
I tug on my sweater’s drawstring, suddenly embarrassed for some reason.
“Does it matter?”
“Yes, it does. What kind?”
I sigh. “An engagement ring.”
“Well, isn’t that something.” Isaac’s tone is as snide and chilly as when he first confronted me about the theft. “Your boyfriend stole jewellery my wife gave me to buy jewellery for you.”
God, this keeps getting more awful and guilt-inducing. He lost his wife in a home robbery, and now he’s lost a cherished gift from her in another one. Why? Why couldn’t Matt have just left Isaac’s stuff alone?
“Isaac, I—I’m sorry this happened. I feel terrible about it. Matt did something really selfish, and he regrets it. We both do. I know it’s asking a lot, but please forgive him.”
“You must really love him to keep sticking your neck out for him.”
There was a time when, if someone asked me if I love Matt, I could answer without hesitation. Yes. Lately, it feels like there’s a question mark after the yes instead of a full stop, and the scariest part is, I think it’s been there for a while.
“We’ve been together for five years. We’ve always looked out for each other.”
“He’s only looking out for himself and taking advantage of you.”
I scoff. “You’re one to judge.”
A tense silence follows, and I regret what I said. It might be the truth, but now isn’t the time to say it. Isaac still has power over us. It’s for the best if I leave now so I don’t risk pissing him off again.
I bid him good night and turn to leave. He grabs my arm, stopping me. It’s a reverse of how we were in the basement. I tug at my arm to indicate I want him to let me go. He tightens his grip.
“Did you say yes?” he demands.
“Yes to what?”
“To Matt’s proposal. That’s why he got you the engagement ring, right?”
“Yes,” I say, then shake my head. “I mean, no.”
“Which one is it?”
“Yes, he tried to propose, but I didn’t say yes to it. I didn’t let him finish.”
Isaac slackens his grip but he doesn’t let me go. He swipes his thumb back and forth over my skin, and I’m hyperaware of his touch, a pleasant fluttering sensation filling the pit of my stomach.
I should hate this. I should hate that just this simple touch from Isaac makes me feel excitement and temptation for more. I should pull my hand away, but I don’t. I remain still, shamefully enjoying his caress.
“That’s good you didn’t say yes. He already stole my watch. I wasn’t about to let him take something even more valuable from me.”
There’s a slight growl to his possessive tone, and between my legs respond with a pulsing need as if Isaac touched me there. I’m blown away by this. It’s the first time I’ve ever been turned on just by a man’s voice. Isaac’s voice.
His gaze dips to my mouth and my stomach flips with anticipation. He’s going to kiss me. When he tightens his grip on my arm and pulls me closer, I start to follow until I remind myself this is wrong. I shouldn’t cheat on my boyfriend again either.
I yank my hand from his grip and take a step back, his touch lingering on my skin. We hold each other’s gazes in the silence, until I turn around and flee the deck.