21. Blessing
I groaned as my alarm sounded, waking me from my sleep. I turned my alarm off and climbed on top of Saint. His eyes fluttered open as he shifted underneath me.
“Good morning, gorgeous. Why are we up so early?” He asked, sliding his hands up and down my thighs.
“We’re going for a run before the girls wake up.
I’m going to let them stay home today so we can have a mental health day.
Probably do some shopping and get our nails done.
” I climbed off him, heading into the bathroom.
Every once in a while, I allow Journey to miss a day of school.
You only get one life, so if my girl needs a break, she’s allowed to have one.
After taking care of my hygiene and changing into an AmourFit set, I went into Sage’s room to check on her.
She was still fast asleep in her crib with her thumb in her mouth.
I placed a kiss on her forehead and headed downstairs.
Saint was already on the couch waiting for me.
After our first lap around the neighborhood, we went from jogging to running. I squealed as Saint grabbed me from behind, lifting me off the ground.
“Babe!! Put me down!” I giggled. He spun around and wrapped his arms around me securely.
“You so fuckin’ beautiful, baby.” His lips repeatedly pecked mine, causing my cheeks to heat up. His compliments made my heart flutter. Once he put me down, we continued our run.
By the time we were back at the house, I was out of breath and needed to sit my ass down. I was getting out of shape. Saint patted me on the butt as I leaned over, trying to catch my breath.
“You good bae? You could’ve jogged while I ran.”
“I’m fine. I just haven’t run in a while.
” When we walked in the house, Journey was coming down the stairs with Sage on her hip.
I could tell they’d both just woken up. “You can go back to bed, Jour. We’re going shopping today.
” I said, taking Sage from her. She immediately snuggled up against me.
I placed a small kiss on her nose, took her into the kitchen, and secured her in her highchair.
“Are you eating breakfast, or do you just want a smoothie?”
Saint took a seat at the island and nodded, “I’ll eat. What you makin’?”
“I need to use these bagels I made, so probably breakfast sandwiches. Bacon or sausage?”
“Bacon, please. Can you make my eggs over easy?”
I nodded, pulling out everything I needed to cook. This man could get whatever he wanted from me.
“Just get both pairs, Jour.” I rolled my eyes, adjusting Sage on my lap. I was seated outside the dressing room in Sak’s while she tried on different outfits. I didn’t mind, but she’d been going back and forth between the same two pairs of pants for the past 20 minutes.
“Fine. I wasn’t trying to put a dent in your pockets, but if you insist.” She shrugged, then added both pairs of jeans to the pile of clothes she planned to buy.
Our parents set us all up with trust funds that we didn’t have access to until we turned 21.
Then, when our parents passed away, they left everything to us.
Journey and I were both minors, so Messiah would give us a monthly allowance until we were of age.
Once I turned 18, I was able to get all the money I had left.
Journey still got her allowance. Although she was sitting on a fat ass cushion of cash, we never made her spend her own money.
She was our responsibility, so she never had to swipe her card for anything, unless she really wanted to.
She was living a very soft life already.
“Did you get those college applications in?” I asked as the cashier rang us up.
“I have one more essay to do. But I turned the other four in.”
I nodded, sticking my card in the machine to pay for the items. “I can’t believe you’re about to graduate in a few months. What the fuck am I going to do when you go away to college?”
“Sissy, you’ll be fine. You have Sage, and I’m a thousand percent sure Moo will put a baby in you by the time it’s time for me to go away.”
“Girl bye. You know damn well I won’t be walking around with two kids under two.” We walked into the True Religion store, heading straight for the sweatsuits. She had been sending me pictures of these sweatsuits for the past week. She swore we needed matching sets.
“So you don’t want another kid?”
“I do, just not right now. The next kid I have, I need to be married first. Don’t be like me, Journey. Be better than me. Don’t allow a man to put a baby in you unless you have his last name. Matter fact, don’t have sex until you’re married.”
“Um, Bless… I’m not marrying a man before I know if the dick is good or not. I’m not spending the rest of my life with a shrimp.” She shrugged, pulling a few sets from the racks.
I burst into laughter, shaking my head. “Girl, don’t ever let Messiah hear you say that shit. At least wait until you’re married to have a baby. You’re still a virgin, right?” When she didn’t respond, I turned to look at her. “Journey.”
“Relaxxxx, sissy. I’m still a virgin.”
I squinted, poking my lips out. “Are you sexually active at all? You can tell me the truth, I won’t be mad. As long as you’re being safe.”
“I haven’t done anything past kissing. I promise. If I ever decide to go further than that, I’ll talk to you about it first. I doubt it’ll be anytime soon. Jordan and I aren’t working out.” She sighed, referring to the basketball player she’d been talking to.
“Whoa, I thought things were getting serious with y’all. What changed?” I questioned. An associate noticed our arms getting full with all the clothes we’d picked up and brought us a basket. I thanked her and put everything inside it.
“I think he’s falling back because I won’t have sex with him. Girls are throwing themselves at him every day in school, willing to give it up. So why would he want me if I’m not?”
“Well, if he can’t respect your decisions, then he doesn’t deserve you. Y’all shouldn’t be having sex anyway.” I held up a cute pair of jeans, examining them.
“You’re right, sissy. He’s not even that good at basketball anyway. I think I want a football player like you.” She giggled, nudging me.
“As long as you stay away from street niggas. I’m about to try these jeans on. Watch Sage for me. I wanna grab some perfume from Ulta, then we can leave and grab something to eat.”
I FaceTimed Saint after I changed into the jeans. I had to do a few jumps to get them over my ass, but I looked good as hell in them.
“Wassup, baby?” He answered after the first ring.
I flipped the camera and posed in front of the mirror. “Should I get them?” I asked.
He bit down on his bottom lip and grunted. “Hell yeah, turn around for me.” I did as told, showing him the back of the jeans. “Damn, Bless. Matter fact, get two pairs because I can’t promise I won’t rip you out of them.”
“You are so nasty.” I snickered.
“I miss you.”
“Saint, you just saw me this morning.”
“So? A nigga can’t miss his lady?”
I blushed, propping the phone up while I changed back into the cotton sundress I’d worn.
“I miss you too, baby.” I loved how he always referred to me as his lady.
We hadn’t made things official yet, but I knew it would happen soon.
There was no reason to keep things a secret anymore since the cat is out of the bag.
“Aight, love, I’m about to head into the weight room. I’ll see you tonight. I’m taking you and the girls to dinner.”
“Okay, baby, see you later.” I blew him a kiss before ending the call.
I thanked the valet attendant as he passed me the key to the rental car I’d been driving.
I made sure Sage was secured in her car seat while Journey loaded our bags into the trunk.
I went to open the driver’s side door, but stopped when I felt eyes on me.
I glanced around the parking lot until I locked eyes with the person I’d been avoiding for the past few months.
My heart sank as his dark eyes pierced into mine.
I quickly got in the car and sped off. He had to be following me.
There was no way he’d be out in the open knowing people were looking for him.
“Girl, what’s wrong?” Journey asked, looking over at me, concerned.
“Nothing.. I’m just going to cook at the house since Saint is taking us out to dinner tonight.” I pulled out of the parking lot, making my way home. I was glad I lived in a gated community, so there was no way for him to get through undetected. But I wasn’t confident that he wouldn’t find a way in.
“Ooo, can you make a turkey BLT on those croissants? That would be so bomb.” She said, as she hooked her car up to the aux. A smile spread across my face as soon as I heard the beat of the song she was playing.
“Ahhhh, I haven’t heard this song in so long!” I snapped my fingers to the beat and danced in my seat, “Maria mariaaaaa she remind me of a westside storyyy” I sang along to the music. Journey joined in, swaying.
“Maria, you know you’re my loverrrr. When the wind blows, I can feel youuuu, through the weather!” She sang, pointing a finger at me. Sage wiggled in her seat, giggling.
I sucked in a breath, blinking away tears. When we were younger, our mom would dance around the house with us while this song played. We’d probably listened to it every single day. I heard Journey sniffle from the passenger seat.
“Please don’t cry, Jour. Fuck. I miss them so much.
” I reached over and rubbed her arm. I didn’t bother to wipe away the tears that had fallen.
Our parents were taken from us too soon.
My heart ached every time I thought about waiting outside of school for them to pick me up, and them never showing up.
“It’s not fair, Bless. They won’t even get to watch me graduate.” She wiped her tears and sighed.
“I know. But Me and Messiah are going to show up every single time. We’ll never miss anything important in your life. We can’t replace them, but you’ll never be alone as long as we’re alive. I love you. Okay?”
“I love you too, Sissy.”
The rest of the ride home was silent. I could tell she was in deep thought. Once we made it home, we ate lunch and lay on the couch, catching up on Cake Wars.
“Blessing..” I heard Journey call out.
“Yeah?”
“I have to tell you something, but you have to promise not to tell Moo.”
I sat up, turning to face her. “Jour.. what’s going on?”
She pulled her phone out and started a FaceTime call.
“Hello?” Serenity answered.
“You can tell her. She won’t tell Moo..” Journey said before passing her phone to me.
“What’s wrong, Ren?” I questioned. Her eyes filled with tears. Her face was pale, and her hair was a mess on top of her head. I immediately knew what was wrong with her before she even told me.
“I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to do, and I have no one to tell. I can’t have this baby. I’m too young to be a mother. I can’t do this.”
“Serenity.. what the hell.” I groaned. They just sprung this shit on me and expected me not to tell my man.
We were in a great space, and keeping this from him would cause problems neither of us needed right now.
“Who’s the father?” She broke out into a sob and dropped the phone.
I turned to look at Journey. She looked away.
“Alright, somebody’s going to have to tell me something.
I can’t help you if I don’t know everything. ”
“Pee is the father.” Serenity finally said.
I blinked slowly, not knowing if I had heard her correctly. “Nah, Ren.. Pee who? I know damn well you’re not talking about that grown ass man Pee that runs with my brother. Are you crazy?!”
“I didn’t know his real age until after we’d already had sex. He told me he was 19!”
I scoffed and shook my head. Pee was the same age as me.
He had no facial hair and a baby face, so he could easily be mistaken for a teenager.
“Jesus Christ. Ren… you can’t keep this from Saint.
Shit, I can’t keep this from him. Look, your mom and brother will be gone this weekend.
They have some business to attend to. We can discuss it with them when they come back.
” Serenity had no clue about her father possibly being alive and it wasn’t my place to tell her.
“I can’t tell them who the father is.. I love him so much. I don’t want anything to happen to him.” She cried.
“Serenity.. that grown ass man had no business sleeping with you. You’re 17. He’s 25. That shit is not okay. He knows better.”
“But he loves me! He’s just scared right now.. He’s not ready to be a parent, and neither am I.”
Pee was already a parent. He has three kids by three different women. Messiah was going to kill this perverted ass nigga. “We’ll talk later, okay, Ren? Stop crying. Everything will be okay.” I assured her. She nodded, then hung up.
“Journey…tell me everything now. And don’t lie to me.”
“Okay.. they’ve been messing with each other since she was 15.
This isn’t the first time he’s gotten her pregnant, either.
The first time he was able to take her to get an abortion at that hood clinic out west. They closed it down now.
This time, she has no choice but to go to an actual clinic.
I told her to leave him alone because there’s no reason a man that old should have any interest in someone our age.
You always told me that. She didn’t want to listen to me.
I’m sorry for dragging you into this, but she had no one else to tell. ”
“He groomed her. What she thinks they have is not love. I’m going to help her, but this better never happen again.
I’m serious, Journey. This shit is not okay.
” I rose from the couch and grabbed Sage from her playpen.
I didn’t wait for her to respond before I headed upstairs to my room.
I prayed this didn’t cause any problems in my relationship before it even started.
Sage babbled as we sat in my bed. My daughter is gorgeous.
Her eyes were big and round. They fit her chubby face perfectly.
She looked just like a baby doll. She had my pretty brown skin, but her nose came from her father.
I rolled my eyes at the thought of him. His sister had reached out to Messiah, begging him to see her.
Alexis wasn’t a bad person, but his entire family smiled in my face, knowing he had a whole family.
This nigga had the nerve to whoop my ass every chance he got.
My blood boiled just thinking about it. But, in the end, I got the last laugh.