Chapter 16
Elliot and I have fallen into a comfortable routine of letting him lead the way for the group with me in tow, carefully weaving through groups of people and consistently checking on me with rapid glances.
We stop off at a waffle stand halfway through the journey to get an early lunch, as well as iced coffees to cool down and perk up.
The sun has started to bear down on my shoulders and the top of my scalp with fury, and I can practically feel new freckles burn to life on my skin.
Hennie generously re-applies my sun cream but I’ve never been a girl who thrives in hot weather, and the combination of inescapable heat and never-ending hordes of people has started to make me feel a little woozy.
With reluctance, Elliot and I decide to hold a truce over the drumstick while we happily eat our waffles and have a quick toilet break, keeping it in Josh’s rucksack for safe keeping.
‘Don’t lose it,’ Elliot growls at him. Josh tells him to grow up in response.
Elliot and I walk side by side once again, and I feel a lightness in my step.
We walk in silence as harsh and elaborate patterns of sunlight cutting through the trees trail over us.
I can’t help but notice how the light illuminates Elliot’s dark locks and the way it moves tenderly across his jaw.
My hands itch with the deep, inexplicable want to follow the shadows with my fingertips.
I swallow hard. Immediately nauseated by where my thoughts have managed to drift to, I wrench them into nothingness, erasing them, like they were never even there.
That kind of deep, inexplicable want was just a trick of the mind. A brief stutter in my brain’s functioning.
In my experience, liking any boy in that way is a waste of time. An assured habit that leads to eventual hurt and heartache. I can’t waste any energy on that again.
In Year Ten, a boy in my maths class asked me out on a date as a mortifying dare and half the boys in our year gleefully showed up to watch me get stood up.
I had no idea. It took almost an hour of waiting before I realised what was going on.
I was teased about it for the rest of the year and I consequently promised myself that I would never try to go on a date ever again.
Until Greg. My horror story of an ex-boyfriend.
If my school experience was the thing that eroded my confidence, slowly but surely, Greg is the thing that made it collapse.
After that, I stopped dating for good. And honestly? Life has never been better. I’ve never looked back.
I don’t doubt for a moment that Elliot would walk away without a second thought if we weren’t bound together by our agreement. Why wouldn’t he?
The festival has well and truly awakened by one o’clock. People lounge on camp chairs redoing make-up and arranging glitter perfectly on their faces, as others emerge from their tent sunburnt and shirtless, jumping straight into their wellies to embark upon another day in this curious paradise.
The iridescent glitter adorning my cheekbones up to the bridge of my nose is starting to get itchy as it mixes with my sweat.
I thought it looked okay this morning – blending in comfortably with my freckles, and also helping to hide the dull skin underneath due to improper sleep and lack of skincare.
The five of us merrily walk together chatting with ease, Elliot and I locked together once again. A lot of tasks have silently been deemed do-able with one hand, but Hennie or one of the boys normally step in to help if I need assistance with something.
As Elliot and I fall behind the group, I’m slotting my phone back into my bag when my sunglasses manage to tumble out of it. But as I reach down to pick them up, Elliot pulls on the drumstick, taking me with it, and the sunglasses move just beyond my reach.
‘Hang on,’ I huff, as I bend down to attempt to retrieve them again.
But this time he tugs harder, pulling me away from the sunglasses completely and dragging me along behind him. When I whirl around to scowl at him, I’m met by his boyish grin, the man utterly thrilled with himself. He continues to walk with his eyes defiantly on mine as I stagger behind him.
‘Come on, we’ll lose the others,’ he says, his voice filled to the brim with amusement.
‘Stop it, you beast.’ My voice cracks with laughter as I pull it back with all of my strength.
The challenge has been set, and we each grab the stick with both hands, our breathless laughter ringing out as I try to pull him in the direction of my sunglasses, attempting to take control.
But it’s clear within seconds who is stronger, and my feet begin to stumble across the grass as he gains ground.
To retain some of my dignity and out of sheer stubbornness, I throw myself onto the ground, planting my behind on the grass.
But that doesn’t stop him. To my chagrin, he merely starts walking again and pulling me along behind him like a fucking pet on a leash, ignoring my protests.
I manage to untie both of his shoelaces with a giddy grin, which seems to do the trick. He relents with another loud laugh, walking us back to my sunglasses so I can retrieve them.
When I’m back on my feet, I summon a haughty glare.
‘Sorry, couldn’t help myself,’ he says, beaming.
‘You know what? I think it’s time. Let’s just be allies,’ I suggest, holding out a hand for another handshake.
After a moment, he nods and reaches his free hand out to take it – but I snatch mine back, shooting him the finger.
He rears back, wheezing with laughter. ‘I deserve that.’
‘Yeah, you do,’ I agree.
We attempt to do his shoelaces up together with our free hands, which requires an unbelievable amount of teamwork and communication, and ends with me nudging him over with my shoulder. Eventually, I permit him to let go so he can do them up properly himself.
The others await us on the path ahead of us, but with a creeping dread, I become aware of my surroundings.
And the fact that the path we’re walking on leads to Firecrest’s largest stage, the Firecrest Stage.
The one I have sworn to avoid under any circumstances.
The stage is a famously enormous space, fit to hold the biggest crowds for the biggest artists.
I’m guessing we’re just planning to walk around the edge of the field to get to The Jungle area, but even the idea of being in the vicinity of the crowded space is too much.
Way too much. The back of my neck suddenly heats up and my mouth goes dry.
I know Hennie isn’t aware of where we’re heading as she doesn’t know Firecrest at all. I, however, have the map memorised in order to avoid situations just like this.
Anxiety prickles up my spine as I realise I’ll have to speak up now or face it. And for a second I just let myself hate this. Hate being a nuisance.
My footsteps slow a little and Elliot glances at me as his steps match mine. I take in a nervous gulp of air, my throat working to try to form the right words.
‘Guys!’ Elliot’s shout startles me. ‘Wouldn’t going through the Grimlands work?’ he calls, the others coming to a stop in front of us. I stare at him in astonishment.
‘I mean – it would be quicker to just go around the Firecrest Stage–’ Josh starts.
Hennie’s eyes go wide with alarm as she walks back towards us. She knows very well my upcoming panic tells. ‘You know, I haven’t seen the Grimlands yet… it would be cool to check it out on the way?’ she says with an eager look at Owen.
Elliot nods. ‘Me too. If that’s alright with you?’ he asks me.
Still stunned into silence, I manage a small nod.
Josh springs right back into action, changing course to lead us down a different path. He continues to chat animatedly about our new destination, and I’m almost dizzy with relief and gratitude. I feel my cheeks burn as I resist looking at Elliot.
He must have known what he was doing, trying to steer us away from such a busy area.
The fact he had somehow identified that we were about to enter an uncomfortable situation for me is genuinely touching, not to mention speaking up and taking action so I wouldn’t have to experience it.
I have to strongly resist the urge to throw my arms around him.
Maybe we’re a little closer to being allies than I thought.
Saying that, we were in a tug of war only minutes ago. So, who really knows.
He walks next to me in a companionable silence, taking in the sights around us. Having finally gathered the courage, I face him and tug lightly at the drumstick for his attention. He turns to me, his expression plain.
‘Thank you for that,’ I say.
‘For what?’ he replies with a knowing smile.
A grin escapes me as I elbow him with my drumstick arm. ‘You know,’ I say gently. ‘I really am grateful.’
He swings the drumstick between us and looks ahead contentedly.
‘Anytime, princess.’