CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER twenty-eight
By the time evening settled over Paris, David’s face had developed a sickly green pallor. Noah made him eat onion soup, a whole orange, and quiche for lunch. He hated every second of it, and the waves of nausea that kept slamming into him felt like punishment for every calorie.
“My mum is so stoked,” Noah said, squeezing his hand. They sat in the backseat of a Mercedes town car, both of them wearing suits for the black-tie affair. Noah’s was midnight-purple velvet that would have been horrific on anyone else, but on him it highlighted his tan skin, and the matching bowtie looked handsome instead of tacky.
David’s stuffy, plain black suit made him look like he was a groom, not the father of an illegitimate child. Noah picked his tie—black with intricate silver embroidery at the bottom. Noah said it was worth a lot of money and that high-caliber people would immediately know the designer, whose name David had already forgotten.
“I’m glad,” David managed to say around the bile in his throat. Sweat stuck his hair flat to the back of his skull, but his hair gel hid the disgustingness, and his cologne masked the scent of sickness pretty well.
The car slowed to a stop in front of the venue—a building with pillars that reminded him of the Met. Five security guards stood in suits out front, but David knew there were a dozen more in plain clothes hidden around the street.
“Ready?” Noah asked, smiling at him. Noah had been smiling since David ate his meal.
“Yeah,” David said, and he pushed his way out of the car.
Stagnant spring air washed over him as he waited for Noah to get out. They linked hands and started up the stairs like a true couple. It wasn’t their first time out together after going public, but it felt almost as special. A year ago, David never would have dreamed about a moment like this. Then again, he never would have imagined fatherhood being a part of it.
“David!” Caroline appeared at the main doors, beaming. She wore a silver evening gown with pearl beading and sheer panels that showed off not only her pregnancy but also her elegance.
“Damn,” Noah said with a low whistle.
David elbowed him as they approached. Caroline gave him cheek kisses, enveloping him in a soft floral scent. “Everything is perfect,” she said. “Come and see.”
“You look beautiful,” David said, returning her kisses. “And so does this place.”
Caroline laughed. “Thank you, David. And Noah, thank you for the advice on styling this. It turned out better than I imagined.”
“I’d say so,” Noah said warmly.
She greeted Noah with cheek kisses as well, then took David’s arm to walk inside with him. Noah stayed on his other side, sporting an amused smile. David saw the inappropriate threesome joke glimmering in his eyes, but thankfully Noah didn’t say it out loud.
The venue was gorgeous. White roses overflowed on every surface, accented with smaller blue flowers and greenery—the exact color Caroline had picked for the nursery. Gifts were stacked on a table guarded by three men, and David noticed the rose bouquet he’d bought for Caroline yesterday in a vase in the center. His heart warmed, and he was thankful once again that he’d bought them.
“So many people sent gifts in advance,” Caroline explained. “We can fill three nurseries with all of them. I really did not think people would send anything for such an American party.”
“That’s very nice of them, though,” David said. He grimaced against another wave of nausea but swallowed it down. He could do this. He just had to survive for a few hours, and everything would be fine.
Caroline squeezed his arm. “I have a surprise for you.”
David cocked a brow. “Oh?”
Caroline was absolutely radiant, and seeing her smile with so much excitement made David feel a bit better about everything. Pierre would have the perfect mother—one who loved him more than anything. David would love him too, but he had a feeling he would always be second-best compared to her. Maybe third, if Noah was as involved as David wanted him to be. Babies loved Noah.
“Three Formula America drivers at my party, and we have no cars in sight!” Gerard, Caroline’s father, approached them with a flute of champagne in hand. His glassy eyes showed that he had probably been downing them since lunch.
“Hi, Gerard,” Noah said, shaking his hand.
“It’s not your party, Papa,” Caroline reminded him. She said something in French that sounded like a reference to the champagne.
Gerard replied with a childish scowl and took a sip for emphasis. “Can I get you boys anything? Let’s start the celebration, eh?”
“We’ll get back to you,” Noah said, smiling. David thumbed the side of his palm. He wondered how hard it was for Noah to say no at these things. He used to always have a drink in his hand, though he could be the life of the party without one.
“Gerard, pace yourself,” Caroline’s mother said, plucking the champagne from his hand. She was a smartly dressed Frenchwoman with blonde hair and wireframe glasses. “Hello, David. And Noah, such a pleasure to meet you. I’m Angela, Caroline’s mother.”
“I’ve heard so much about you,” Noah said, leaving David’s side to kiss her cheeks in greeting.
“Have you? Good things, I hope,” she said, winking at David.
“All good things. I hear you have a very good eye for pastries,” Noah replied, returning to David’s side.
Angela scoffed. “Ah yes, I suppose I do have the connections for that. When you come to visit, I’ll buy you some.”
Gerard slapped a hand on Noah’s shoulder. “Noah. I want to hear about this wrist injury. I know many doctors in France, you know. Many skilled doctors who can help.”
Caroline leaned against David’s side. “Come see your surprise.”
David gave Noah a little wave goodbye, biting down his smile as Gerard launched into an unsolicited series of doctor reviews. Noah gave him a pleading look, but it was no use.
Caroline hugged his arm and let out a little squeal of excitement—so American that David paused mid-step, afraid something was wrong. She turned to him and hopped to her tiptoes to kiss his cheek once more.
“I’m just so excited for this,” she said, dancing on her feet.
David laughed. “Are you okay? I’ve never seen you this excited about anything.”
“Come on,” Caroline said, tugging him along again. David saw an archway leading to another room and focused on supporting Caroline as they made their way toward it.
They turned the corner, and all the air left David’s lungs.
His mother stood in the corner of a small art gallery, clutching her favorite white Chanel purse. His sister, Kristin, stood beside her, bouncing his nephew, Ulli, on her hip. David hadn’t seen Ulli since he was an infant, but he recognized his dimpled smile.
“Mom?” he choked out.
His mother turned. Her eyes went wide for a moment as she took him in, then she pursed her lips. “Hello, David.”
Kristin smiled at him. She was thinner than the last time he’d seen her; all of her pregnancy weight was gone. She turned so Ulli could see him better and pointed at him.
“I didn’t want to say anything in case they couldn’t come,” Caroline said quietly. “I know how much you’ve been missing them.”
Tears welled in David’s eyes as he broke away from Caroline to run to his mother. She let out a startled grunt as he wrapped her in a tight hug. After a moment, she patted his back, then rested her hand between his shoulders.
“It’s been a very long time,” she said in German.
David let out a sob, then pulled away to cover his mouth so he didn’t ruin her dress. “Yeah,” he croaked out, switching to German as well. “It’s been so long. And Kristin, hi.”
“Hi, David,” Kristin said, giving him a one-armed hug. “Ulli, say hello to your uncle.”
David wiped the tears from his eyes and leaned down to see his nephew better. “Hi, Ulli. Do you remember me?”
Ulli chewed on his fingers and gave Kristin a worried look. She smiled at him, and he gave a gummy smile back before letting out a shriek of delight.
“He’s so big,” David said. “Can I hold him?”
His mother tensed in the corner of his eye, but Kristin gently lifted Ulli from her hip and handed him over. David took him, surprised by how heavy he’d gotten.
“Here, he likes to chew on this,” Kristin said, digging in her bag. She pulled out a toy fish made of crinkly, sparkly fabric. Ulli’s eyes lit up at the sight of it, and he reached out with pudgy hands, flexing his fingers.
David took the toy and handed it to him. Ulli stuffed a fin in his mouth immediately and kicked his feet in joy.
“You like that?” David asked, swaying him on his hip.
“Thank you both for coming, once again,” Caroline said, resting a hand on David’s back. “I’m so grateful.”
“Of course,” his mother replied in stilted English. “It is a beautiful party.”
“Have you met Ulli?” David asked, turning to Caroline. “He’s my nephew.”
Caroline waved at him. “I met him a few minutes ago. Bonjour. Remember me?”
Ulli squealed in response and chomped down on his fish.
Caroline patted David’s back. “I’ll leave you three—well, four—to catch up. Should I bring Noah back here?”
David opened his mouth to say yes, but his mother’s eyes turned sharp. “Um, we’ll come out there in a minute,” he said instead, shifting Ulli on his hip. “Thank you, though. Really, this is the best surprise.”
He’d imagined this party being a patched-together mess of Noah’s family and Caroline’s, with the only hope of a Jochmann representative being Klaus trying to break into the place. This was so much better.
He rested his nose on Ulli’s round head, inhaling the scent of baby. “You’re much bigger than last time I saw you,” David said into peach-fuzz hair. “Stop growing so fast.”
Caroline left them, and David closed his eyes for a moment to take it all in. Ulli gurgled in his arms—soon he would hold his own son. Any nervousness left him as he held his nephew. He could do this. He could raise a baby just like this one.
“She is very pretty,” Kristin said in German. “Pierre will be very handsome, I’m sure.”
David opened his eyes. He always wondered how Kristin felt about their family. Klaus never beat her that David could remember, but he yelled at her often, and she used to have screaming matches with their mother all the time about boys, school, and everything else.
“Thanks for coming,” David said, nuzzling Ulli. “You have no idea how much it means to me.”
Kristin touched his arm. “Is everything all right, David?”
He furrowed his brow. “Of course it is. Unless—are you talking about Dad?”
Their mother flinched. Her gaze was fixed on some far-off point in the room, and she was still clutching her purse like someone was going to try to steal it.
“I mean you,” Kristin said, switching to English. “You look way too thin.”
David leaned back. “What? I’m perfectly fine, Kristin. This is just my new diet for racing. I have to keep weight off. I’m being monitored by like five people every second of the day, including Noah.”
“Do not use that name,” his mother snarled in German.
David narrowed his eyes and switched to German to say, “Mom, he’s my boyfriend. I know you don’t like that, but that’s how it is. I don’t want to fight about it, okay? Just enjoy the party.”
His mother snorted in disgust. His sister shot him a warning look.
“Mom, Noah’s my partner. You can’t go into this party and treat him like he’s not,” David said.
“Kristin,” their mother said, glancing pointedly at Ulli.
Kristin frowned. “Mom—”
“ Kristin. ”
Kristin stiffened and held out her arms for her son. “You and Mom need to talk. I’ll take Ulli.”
David glanced between them, gently patting Ulli’s back. “Can’t it wait? I want to introduce you to everyone. There are a lot of people to meet before the party officially starts.”
“David,” Kristin pleaded. “Please give me my son.”
Something about her tone sewed fear up his spine. “Okay, okay.”
He kissed Ulli’s temple and handed him back, though he snuck in a little squeeze to his pudgy foot once Kristin had him.
Thwap!
David heard the sound before he felt the sting on his knuckles, and his reflexes were supposed to be legendary. Slits of blood appeared on his hand from his mother’s fingernails, still poised to smack him again.
“What the fuck was that?” David hissed at his mother, yanking his hand back. Kristin pressed her forehead to Ulli’s and turned away to rock him.
“How dare you,” his mother snarled in German. “Have you no tact? Do you have even the slightest understanding of what you’ve done?”
David backed up a step. “What are you talking about? We’re here to celebrate, Mom. If you—”
“We are not here to celebrate a bastard born to my faggot son,” his mother hissed, retracting her hand. “I’m here to attempt to save what’s left of our family’s reputation. A reputation you ruined.”
His brain stumbled over and over as he attempted to understand. His family was here to support him and his son, but his mother was calling him a faggot, and his sister suddenly wouldn’t even face him.
“Why are you here if it’s not to be here for the baby?” David asked, practically squeaking out the words. “Why did you come?”
“Because that man is controlling your life,” his mother spat. “I thought perhaps if we came here, you would snap out of it and realize what you have with Caroline. Instead, you brought him here, and you plan to parade your perversion around.”
“Perversion?” David looked at his sister. “Kristin, tell her she’s being crazy. Noah isn’t—”
“Do not use that name!” his mother cried, so loudly that David flinched on reflex. Ulli burst into tears, and Kristin tried to shush him. She finally turned and gave David a pained look before she darted for the door to comfort her baby, leaving him alone with his mother.
The room seemed to swallow him. He’d never been scared of his mother before, but he shook under her searing gaze.
“Look at me,” she said.
David squeezed his eyes shut.
“I said, look.” Sharp fingernails sank into his skin as she grabbed his face and wrenched his head toward her. He reached up to grab her wrist but stopped himself, too fearful that he might hurt her.
He opened his eyes, looking through his tears at the blurry face of the woman who raised him, the one person he thought might understand why he couldn’t be near Klaus, the one person who might act as his son’s grandparent.
“I came here to tell you officially—since you’ve threatened your father and ruined our name—that you are no longer part of our family. You are nothing to me, your father, your sister, or anyone else. Do you understand?”
David choked out a sob. “Mom, please.”
Her nails sliced into his cheeks. “No. You hid a child from us, you exiled your father from the sport he loves, and you destroyed our future because of it. Did you ever once think about your father’s feelings? How about mine? Or were you too focused on your own, as always?”
“Mom, I love you,” David said as tears tracked down his stinging face. The moment they touched his mother’s fingers, she released him with a noise of revulsion and wiped her hands on her dress. David stumbled forward to hug her, to assure her that wasn’t what he meant.
She smacked him so hard across the face that he saw stars.
“Don’t touch me!” she cried as pain exploded across his cheek.
David touched his face, where the skin was already hot and swelling. He blinked, still trying to put the pieces together.
“Kristin?” he asked, the first word that came to mind.
“She wants nothing to do with you, either. I’ve made it quite clear that if she expects to be part of this family, she will stay far away from you,” his mother spat. She collected her purse and shoved past him.
David stumbled and fell to the concrete floor. Pain shot up his spine, but it was nothing compared to the agony of watching his mother storm out. Kristin stood in the doorway with tears in her eyes.
I love you , she mouthed, but their mother yanked her away by the arm.
David touched his face again and winced when his tears burned through the marks on his cheeks. He bent over himself, fighting not to sob.
He had to protect Noah and Caroline. He couldn’t ruin tonight. Caroline would be devastated if she heard his mother had used her invitation to disown him, and Noah would make a fuss and leave the party Caroline had spent months planning.
David took a deep breath. His father taught him how to push out emotion and pain. He knew how to put on a show for the media. He could do it for a party he was actually happy about.
He got to his feet and dusted off his pants, wiping away the marks from landing on the floor. He pulled off his suit jacket and used his shirt sleeve to wipe his eyes, cleaning away the evidence of his crying.
Once he was dressed again, he squared his shoulders and headed back to the party with a pasted-on smile. He could do this. He had to.