CHAPTER 31 - STRAWBERRY GOO
strawberry goo
CHAPTER thirty-ONe
Ten days later, David lay curled up on his couch in Los Angeles, shivering despite the late spring heat wafting in through the open windows. He’d barely moved since starting his “refeeding,” mostly because he’d never felt so sick in his life. Any energy he had was sapped by day two from forcing himself not to throw up. The only way to stop it was to curl up in the tightest ball he could manage, but that boxed his thoughts in, too.
Noah didn’t tell him anything about Iowa or Portland. Whenever he took calls, he took them outside of David’s hospital room. When Caroline visited him in the hospital in Paris, she brought photos of the party she’d taken on a Polaroid. David was only in one of them, a candid shot before the disaster. He looked good. Sharp angles and good posture. He probably looked like a fat slob in his hospital gown, especially with the nutrient drip pumping him full of calories.
Now he was back in California, and he still hadn’t apologized to Noah’s mother. He didn’t even know where his phone was.
A boat horn sounded in the marina, but David didn’t look up from the frayed couch fabric he’d been staring at for the last few hours. In twenty minutes, he had to eat disgusting electrolyte-protein goo from a squeezy bag like some infant.
To make matters worse, he’d gained almost ten pounds. One pound a day. One pound a fucking day. Noah hadn’t meant for him to see the scale when he weighed him, but David peeked at Noah’s phone when he texted the medical team.
People from all over the world were sending flowers, like he’d already died. The Oxbow press release didn’t mention anything other than a medical emergency, and Hugh at least had the kindness to tack on that David might come back for Road America. Right. Like he could get in a car after not training for almost three weeks.
Sunny dropped off a ‘get well soon’ card from the garage team. Noah read him all the names on it while David focused on not emptying his stomach. He couldn’t even puke if he wanted to—he was so fucking weak. Even going to the bathroom was like hiking up and down Everest. He was supposed to go on walks every day, but the mental exertion alone was debilitating.
“Hey, baby,” Noah said, sitting down beside him on the couch. He rubbed David’s back, but David could only feel the fat he’d packed over the past two weeks. “I’m going to sort some things out with Oxbow. Jacob’s going to come stay with you for a bit, okay? Just a few hours.”
David nodded once. He was counting down the days until Noah left him. David had barely spoken to him since the hospital—he was too fucking tired from all the seizures.
Right. He’d had seizures. They were just gaps in his memory, little blips in time that were apparently a few minutes long. They were over now that his electrolytes were supposedly balanced back out, but their effects seemed permanent. He couldn’t think about driving. He couldn’t barely think about breathing.
“Maybe you can try going for a walk with Jacob,” Noah offered, scooting up behind him to spoon.
“Get off,” David slurred, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t want anyone touching him. Not after Noah had to help him wipe his ass for the first few days of treatment. David was never going to live down that embarrassment.
Noah paused, then moved away. “Please try going for a walk.”
“Fine,” he gritted out.
Jacob saw him his first day back in LA, when he’d helped Noah move all of their things inside. Evidently, Jacob had already been warned, because he treated David like normal upon seeing him, even with fear in his eyes.
“I love you,” Noah said, and David felt Noah’s forehead press between his shoulder blades. “That hasn’t changed for one second. And I’m really proud of you for sticking with everything.”
“Shut up,” David growled. There was nothing to be proud of about a useless person like him. Every second he laid here, his career drifted further away.
Noah wouldn’t even tell him who replaced him. Jacob probably would, though.
“I’ve never been good at shutting up,” Noah said with a dramatic sigh. “Especially when it comes to you, Davey Jones.”
David wanted to tear himself apart. That was the worst thing about this—he’d taken Noah’s career down with him. All over some food. Some fucking food.
“Will you eat something before I go, so I know you ate?” Noah asked.
David forced himself to nod, even if it was the last thing he wanted to do. He still loved Noah more than anything, even though he knew it wouldn’t be returned for much longer—in fact, it was probably gone already. Noah didn’t want to be blamed in case anything happened, which was understandable. David refused to give him another Robbie situation.
Noah got up from the couch, and David fought not to gag at the sound of him tearing the packaging on the electrolyte goo.
David rolled onto his back, wincing at the pain radiating through his limbs as he did so. He made himself move up so Noah didn’t have to rearrange him like a doll.
“Look at you,” Noah praised. “Feeling stronger today?”
God, he was so fucking pathetic. David lifted his hand to take the goo packet and curled his lip in disgust at how much his arms shook. He still had marks all over them from the fluid IVs.
“I’ll do calves this time,” Noah said, plopping down on the couch. He gently lifted David’s leg and began smoothing his palm up and down David’s calf to begin his massage. David could only eat with a distraction.
He screwed up his face and squeezed fruit-flavored slime into his mouth. The artificial scent of strawberry hit his nose, but Noah’s fingers digging into his muscle hurt so bad he couldn’t focus on taste or texture as he swallowed down the mix.
He hated food. David squeezed the rest of the gel in his mouth and fought the urge to gag. He made himself swallow as Noah hummed a song under his breath, still kneading at his calf. This was their stupid ritual. This. Food slurping on the couch.
“Okay, it’s down,” David said a moment later.
Noah stopped massaging and kissed his kneecap. “Good job, baby.”
“Oh, stop,” David said, yanking the blanket up over his legs again. “It’s fucking slime.”
“Strawberry slime that’s good for you,” Noah reminded him with a smile. David still loved that smile. “Can I kiss you goodbye?”
David clutched the blankets, suddenly afraid Noah wouldn’t come back. “How long will you be gone?”
“Not long,” Noah replied, moving up the couch to rest their foreheads together. “I love you. I’ll be back really soon.”
David accepted his fate and sealed it with a kiss. An apology danced on his tongue, but Noah hated it when he apologized—he said there was nothing to apologize for while he was recovering.
“I’m sorry I was mean,” David murmured anyway. “I love you, too.”
Noah kissed him again, lingering this time. David held the kiss, though disgust clawed up his throat that tasted like artificial strawberry. He wondered how Noah could stand to kiss him when David couldn’t even look himself in the mirror without grimacing.
A knock sounded at the door, announcing Jacob’s arrival. Noah hopped up from the couch and ran to get it.
“G’day, Armpit,” Noah greeted him.
“Real original,” Jacob said. David heard some scuffling as they messed with each other, then Jacob appeared at the edge of the couch, dressed in ridiculous sunglasses and a backward cap.
David didn’t need to see his eyes to notice when Jacob registered him. Nobody would say it, but David’s stint in the treatment center in Paris made him uglier than he’d ever been.
“Ready for a walk?” Jacob asked, putting his hands on his hips like a kiddie football coach.
“See you boys later. Send me some pics,” Noah called on his way out the door. He couldn’t wait to leave.
“You don’t have to do this,” David mumbled, sinking deeper into the couch. “We can just watch TV or something.”
Jacob shook his head. “You need sunshine. You’re pasty as shit, dude. And I only have an hour before I have to do some virtual marketing promo, so we’re on a timeline. Come on.”
David almost smiled. Almost. He peeled the blanket off his body and looked away from his bare legs as he moved to his feet. Jacob lunged to help him stand, but David swatted him away.
“I’m not dead,” he growled, adjusting his shirt. It was loose now, but at this rate, the seams would be bursting in a few weeks. “How’s Caroline?”
“Annoying,” Jacob said with a shrug. “I can’t believe everyone wants to hear about her aches and pains all the time. That’s all she talks about—that and cravings.”
David slunk to the coat hook, where his Oxbow cap waited for him. He grabbed Noah’s Cobalt cap instead and slid his socked feet into his Birkenstocks.
“Full German today, eh?” Jacob teased as he grabbed the door.
Exhaustion pulled at every one of David’s limbs as he shuffled out into the breezeway. He wanted to crawl into bed and rot there, but if he ever wanted to drive a car again, he had to move.
“Do you think Oxbow will take me back?” David asked as he punched the elevator button.
Jacob frowned. “Everyone’s really worried about you, man.”
“That didn’t answer my question.”
The elevator dinged, and they stepped inside. David only thought to look for his father after the doors had already closed. Oh well. Klaus probably knew the worst punishment he could inflict was to let him suffer through this.
“I don’t know. Everyone wants you to come back, but no one wants you to, like, die,” Jacob said. “I don’t even know what happened. Noah wouldn’t tell me. I mean, I can assume things, but—”
“What do you assume?” David asked, lifting his head. Jacob was about as representative of the general public as he could get without his phone.
Jacob frowned. “Seems like you’re doing chemo or something, but you haven’t lost any hair. So some kind of sickness, I guess.”
David ran his tongue over his teeth, wincing at the tacky saliva lingering on his canines. “I’m not sick.”
Noah would claim otherwise. Noah used words like starvation, anorexia, and bulimia. David preferred the weight issues comment he’d used early on.
“You’re definitely sick, man,” Jacob said, surprisingly firm. “And whatever it is, it’s the kind of sick where you don’t think you are, but you are.”
“So you think I’m crazy?” David asked as they stepped out into the lobby.
“I don’t think you’re crazy, but something’s wrong enough that Formula America stepped in to tell Hugh you’re not allowed to come back right now. That’s pretty big.”
David tucked that information away for later. Noah hadn’t mentioned the series becoming involved.
They stepped out into the balmy breezes of LA, and David took an immediate left, away from Westie. He didn’t want to smell any donuts. Jacob trotted after him like a puppy.
“Anywhere you wanna go?” Jacob asked. “We could do the marina loop.”
David wrinkled his nose. “It smells like fish over there.”
He wasn’t allowed to throw up. The doctors and Noah made it very clear that throwing up would send him rocketing back to square one, destroying every step he’d made toward getting back in the car.
They headed away from the marina. Sun warmed David’s shoulders and back as he listened to Jacob tell stories about all the girls hitting him up on Instagram.
“Oh, can we stop in the corner store?” Jacob asked. “I want some gum. Are you allowed to have gum?”
David shook his head. “I’ll go in with you, though.”
They crossed the street and walked two blocks over to the corner store where Klaus had been waiting for him last time. It looked grimy in the daytime, and a few homeless people sat out front, talking as they shared a pizza.
“Who replaced me?” David asked as they entered.
Jacob shot him a look. “Don’t even try it, Jochmann. It doesn’t matter, and Noah specifically told me I’m not allowed to say anything.”
Of course.
Jacob decided he wanted a drink, too, so he headed to the fridges in the back. David remained up front by the cigarettes and gum, then spotted a rack of prepaid phones.
His first cell phone was a prepaid flip phone that Klaus bought him on their first trip to America together. David was about twelve at the time, and all of the karting kids visiting with him had iPhones on international plans, but his family couldn’t afford that.
He pulled one of the phones off the rack, thumbing over the edge of the plastic casing. He remembered feeling so cool carrying one of these around. The plastic even smelled the same as the one he’d kept. He still knew his Dad’s American and German numbers by heart—Klaus never let him save any numbers on the prepaid phones, in case they had to return it. Klaus also didn’t want him talking to anyone he didn’t approve of.
David appreciated technology for car data, videogames, and security systems, but he didn’t consider himself much of a techie. He preferred tactile things like buttons over touch screens, though he wouldn’t trade his smartphone for one of these.
“Going Jason Bourne on me?” Jacob said as he returned, plopping a Mountain Dew and a pack of gum on the counter.
David’s stomach turned at the sight of the lime-green liquid. Didn’t Jacob know how much sodium was in one of those?
“Don’t judge me,” Jacob scolded as he handed over his card.
David returned the phone to the rack and headed outside with Jacob once he paid. As soon as they crossed the threshold, though, he stopped short. Noah didn’t want him to use the internet, but a prepaid phone didn’t have internet. He could make calls and not break the rules.
“Actually, I want to get something,” David said. “Can I use your card?”
Jacob groaned. “You’re like a little kid who doesn’t have to pee until we leave the bathroom. Okay, okay. But you’re not allowed to eat food unless I call Noah, so don’t sneak anything.”
“Deal.” As if he would eat anything in that store. David grabbed Jacob’s card and headed back inside. He grabbed a bottle of water out of one of the mini fridges, a bag of chips, and then plucked the prepaid phone off the rack.
“You want a bag?” the clerk asked.
David nodded. “A paper one, please.”
He paid for everything on Jacob’s card and took his paper bag back outside.
Jacob finished his swig of Mountain Dew and cocked a brow. “What’d you get?”
David produced his water bottle and his bag of chips. Jacob frowned at the chips, then started walking. “I don’t think you’re allowed to eat those. I have to ask Noah.”
“They’re Noah’s favorite. They’re not for me,” David lied, setting the chips back in the bag so that they covered the burner phone. Noah only liked tortilla chips and sour cream and onion chips when he was drunk, which didn’t happen anymore.
They continued down the street together, and David devised a plan to get rid of his chaperone. Thankfully, Jacob wasn’t going to be hard to lose.
******
“Fuck,” Jacob muttered a half an hour later, passing a hand over his face. “The internet isn’t working.”
David looked up from his book. He hadn’t read a single sentence in it. “Really? What do you mean?”
Jacob tapped on his laptop. “It’s not connecting.”
“The router probably restarted. It takes about twenty minutes,” David said, trying to sound bored.
“I don’t have twenty minutes. I need to be on this video call,” Jacob said. He checked his watch. “I have five minutes.”
“Do a hotspot on your phone,” David suggested. He shifted to get a look at Jacob’s laptop screen. “Can I try?”
Jacob shifted the screen away from him. “One second. Have to make sure there’s nothing you’re not supposed to see.”
Noah really knew how to put the fear of God into people. No wonder David’s mother thought Noah was controlling.
“Okay, here. But don’t click anything you’re not supposed to.”
David rolled his eyes and took the laptop. He opened the settings and scrolled through the various internet connection tabs. Jacob watched with glazed eyes. He didn’t know anything about computers. He also didn’t know anything about routers and hadn’t noticed that the internet coincidentally went out after David went into his bedroom to change his shirt after he “accidentally” spilled water on himself.
David switched the laptop to only search for wired internet connections, then backed out into the main settings and frowned. “Sorry, mate. It’s probably just the router.”
“Lemme try hotspotting,” Jacob said, taking back the phone. “Fuck, now it’s not even showing wi-fi bars at all. What does that mean?”
David clucked in disapproval. “How old is that thing? This sounds like a hardware issue.”
“What? I bought this two years ago!” Jacob lifted the laptop as if he would find something underneath it to solve the problem. “Planned obsolescence. Fuck.”
“How long is the meeting?” David asked, shutting his book.
“They said less than an hour, so probably an hour and a half,” Jacob muttered.
“Just take the meeting at your place. I’m not going anywhere.”
“No way,” Jacob said. “Noah would kill me.”
David snorted. “Why? What am I going to do, eat quinoa and die?”
Jacob glared at him. “I don’t know, which is why I can’t leave.”
“You have to take the meeting,” David said.
“I’ll call in.”
David wrung his hands, playing at nervous discomfort. It wasn’t hard to fake when he’d actually been feeling it for the past ten days. “Jacob, if Hugh finds out I’m the reason you didn’t make the call, he’ll pull the plug on me coming back for Road America.”
Jacob shut the laptop and shook his head. “No, he won’t.”
David bit the inside of his cheek. “He will. I know him. You can’t miss that meeting. I swear on my championship trophy that I won’t do anything. We don’t even have to tell Noah, okay? Please.”
Jacob’s eyes softened. Bingo.
“Please,” David added in a whisper, digging the knife in a little more.
Jacob huffed and jumped to his feet. “Fine, but you better still be right here when I come back.”
David nodded earnestly. “You can take Noah’s laptop, too. The password is Senna. Capital S .”
“You guys are so lame, man,” Jacob groaned, but he hurried to grab Noah’s laptop from the kitchen island where it had been sitting since Noah sent emails to Oxbow that morning.
“Noah will call you as soon as you log in,” David warned. “He gets a ping. So tell him what happened, but don’t tell him I’m not with you.”
“Obviously,” Jacob said. “Thanks, David.”
David waited until the door shut before jumping up from the couch. He carefully piled the pillows and blankets to look like he was still lying there and positioned his Cobalt cap where his head was supposed to be.
Maybe Noah was a bit controlling. Then again, David had given him complete control long ago, and Noah only wanted to protect him. If he opened up the security cameras, he’d see “him” sleeping and wouldn’t worry.
David slipped into the kitchen and grabbed his prepaid phone. He made quick work of opening the packaging and hurried into the bedroom to change into a hoodie and sweats.
As soon as he made it to the phone home screen, he heard the telltale click of the living room security camera. Noah was checking on him.
He didn’t have much time.
David dialed the only number he knew and lifted the phone to his ear. It rang twice.
“Hello?” a grainy voice said over the line.
“Dad?” David asked.
Silence.
David gripped the phone tighter. “Dad, I want you to meet me at the baseball field. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
He had no idea if Klaus was still watching him, but David had inherited his father’s inability to give up, especially when it came to going after people who wronged him.
“Five minutes,” Klaus said, and he hung up the phone.