CHAPTER 34
CHAPTER thirty-four
David opened his eyes to blackness. The sound of a steel bat grating on concrete started up nearby, growing louder. He tried to move, but all of his muscles locked in place—exactly like they had when he and Jacob walked back from the corner store together. Wind ruffled the hair on the back of his neck, and he heard the stick of lips on teeth as Klaus closed in for the kill.
The wind changed as the bat swung toward him—
Crack!
David gasped awake, scrambling to get away. Pain exploded in his right arm, and a seatbelt caught him around the middle before he could get out of bed. Air punched from his lungs, and he struggled against Klaus’s hold.
“David, it’s me!”
Noah. David froze and looked down to find a tattooed arm wrapped around his waist. The bed wasn’t his own, either; it was a hospital bed. He was hooked up to a bunch of monitors, including one where his heartbeat was going nuts.
Right. Hospital.
David sank back into the uncomfortable mattress, still breathing hard. “Sorry.”
Noah propped himself up with one arm, blinking sleep from his eyes. He was so cute with sleep puffiness. “Did you have a nightmare?”
It felt more real than a nightmare, but as the past day came rushing back to him, David realized that yes, he’d just been dreaming. Reality was worse. He’d spent hours talking police through every detail of the afternoon, all while Noah was one second away from breaking down.
His dad was going to prison and was somewhere in the same hospital being treated for a gunshot wound to his hip. His family was probably already here worrying over Klaus, which was why David had agreed to sedation in the first place. He had a broken arm and a concussion, but his mother probably thought he deserved to be killed. He didn’t know how to stomach that.
“You’re safe,” Noah said, filling the silence. “You’re with me at the hospital. David.”
“I know,” David croaked. He relaxed, wincing at the throbbing pain in his arm. He wasn’t allowed to take pain medications because his liver and kidneys were so fucked up from his diet. Or so the nurse claimed.
“Did my mom come visit or anything?” David asked.
Noah shifted closer. “Jacob stopped by. He’s kind of a mess. That’s partly my fault—I ripped him a new one on the phone earlier.”
David swallowed hard. So his mom hadn’t stopped by. “It’s not Jacob’s fault.”
“It kind of is. I told him not to let you out of his sight, and he did.”
“He thought I’d eat things I’m not supposed to. He didn’t think I’d run away to my dad,” David mumbled. Guilt ran through him once again. He’d already apologized to Noah a dozen times, but he still felt horrible.
“Well, we found you, and that’s what matters,” Noah said with a gentle kiss to his shoulder.
David looked up at the ceiling. Hospital rooms didn’t really get dark. He’d sat at Noah’s bedside for a long time after his accident, and it annoyed him that people who needed rest didn’t get complete darkness.
“How did you find me?” David asked. The memory of the beach was fragmented and full of sand.
Noah went still. “We talked about this earlier, David.”
The doctor had said something about temporary memory loss with the concussion. Apparently, he’d asked everyone the same three questions a dozen times in ten minutes upon arrival. Where’s Noah? Where’s my dad? Do they know my arm is broken?
“Do you want me to tell you again?” Noah asked when he didn’t say anything.
“Yes,” David said. “I’ll remember this time.”
Noah cleared his throat. David folded his hand over Noah’s on his stomach, thumbing over his knuckles. It had to be uncomfortable to share a hospital bed. David didn’t even know if it was actually allowed.
“I hired a private investigator after what happened when you were out with Jacob. I wanted to make sure you were safe whenever you were in the US, especially if I wasn’t there,” Noah said. “The PI tailed your dad and tracked his movements. I found out Klaus had been parking in our parking garage, but that wasn’t enough to get him convicted on anything since he did it when you weren’t here, but we collected all that evidence anyway.”
David didn’t like to think about Noah spending money on a private investigator. Especially when David had taken him away from his racing paycheck.
“I was just getting out of my meeting at Oxbow when the PI told me you got into a car with Klaus,” Noah said quietly.
David squeezed his hand. His arm vibrated with pain, but he did his best to ignore it. “I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” Noah said. “The fact that you thought you needed to do that—”
“Stop,” David said with a shake of his head. “It had nothing to do with you.”
“Then why did you do it?” Noah asked. He had so much pain in his eyes that David could even see it in the dark. “Why would you ever call Klaus?”
David suddenly felt hollow. He wasn’t a racing driver anymore—he was a husk of a human being with no future. If he couldn’t race, what could he even do? He didn’t have any other interests. Noah liked fashion and had the connections to make it in that field; David had nothing.
“I don’t want my family to hate me anymore,” David said pathetically. “I thought if I just talked to my dad, he would forgive me and we could all be happy.”
“Forgive you for what, baby?” Noah asked. “You did nothing wrong. Absolutely nothing. You dad is an abuser—all of this is his fault.”
“I just ruined everything, like always,” David said weakly. “And you know what’s the worst part about it? I don’t even care that I can’t drive anymore. I broke my arm, and I don’t even care.”
Noah caressed his jaw, gently guiding him to look over at him. David gritted his teeth. He flinched when he heard the sharp crack of sand granules still lingering between his teeth. He couldn’t take another hit right now. Not from Noah.
“What do you really want, David? Forget about what’s going on right now. What do you want?” Noah asked.
David thought back to the beach. In his last moments, he thought only of Noah. He’d tried to free Noah from the burden of taking care of him, but when death swung a bat at him, all he’d wanted was this.
“It’s selfish,” David finally said. “I don’t want to be selfish anymore.”
“You’re not any more selfish than the rest of us, baby,” Noah soothed, thumbing his jaw. “It’s okay to want things. You’ve fucked up your whole season for other people. You dropped weight for the team and for me, even though I didn’t mean it when I made that comment about your body. You’ve talked to Caroline way more than you ever had to, because you love that little baby you’ve never met, and you love her. You’ve tried to cater to everyone except yourself.”
David didn’t agree, but he knew Noah didn’t want to hear it. He caused destruction everywhere he went, whether he wanted to or not. He’d imploded his whole family, nearly got his dad killed, and—
“Klaus wanted to murder you,” Noah whispered wetly. He nosed against David’s cheek. “Do you know how fucking scared I was? When I saw you down on the beach, I thought you were dead. If we’d been one second later, you might have been. I almost lost you forever. It scares me just to think about that.”
David swallowed hard. “See? Even that was me being selfish. I didn’t think about what it would do to you.”
Noah pulled away enough to give him a look. “I think you went with your dad because that’s exactly what you were thinking about. You thought dying would mean you’d free me up to do whatever you think I’ve been putting off to care for you.”
David loathed being known. His father always found his weaknesses that way, needling his way into the furthest recesses of his mind to get what he needed to motivate David to win. Klaus used the same tactic to poison David into thinking Noah wanted to stomp him out of Oxbow.
“Let me guess; I said that before, and I just don’t remember,” David huffed.
Noah moved up onto his elbow again. “No, David.”
David squeezed his eyes shut to avoid having to look at Noah’s face as he said, “I thought about our first kiss. When I thought I was about to die, I thought about seeing you that night. It was like I was a different person—I was so confident in how much I wanted you.”
Noah let out a chuckle tinged with sadness. “I was freaking out that night. I felt like I was gonna explode if you touched me. When you showered off, all I was thinking about was how we were, like, three feet apart and you didn’t have any clothes on.”
David snorted. He vividly remembered that shower. Washing his hair with Noah’s shampoo had been embarrassingly sensual. At that point, that felt like the closest he’d been to him.
“What would you have done if I invited you in with me?” David asked with a smile—the first in a long time.
Noah laughed. “Honestly? I dunno. I reckon I would have started getting my clothes off as fast as I could, and we definitely would have fucked.”
David felt his cheeks turn red. “Yeah. I’m glad we kept it PG that night.”
Noah pointed a finger at him. “Don’t even. You scared the shit out of me the next morning. I thought I fucked everything up.”
David snaked his hand up between them to tickle Noah’s chin affectionately. “I was nervous. You were way too handsome, and I didn’t want to be a one-night stand.”
Noah captured his mouth in a kiss. David sank into it, suddenly desperate for him. His body ached all over from hitting the ground and from his walk with Jacob, but he didn’t care.
“Definitely not a one-night stand,” Noah whispered when they broke apart. He glanced down at David’s lips. “Do you want to marry me, David?”
David blinked. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” Noah said. “I know this isn’t the time or place, but—”
David frowned. “No, it’s not. I’m supposed to ask you.”
Noah cocked a brow. “Oh?”
“Yes. I wanted to be the one to ask.”
Not that he had a plan for how he wanted to do it. Or a location. Or a timeframe. He just loved Noah and figured it would happen when it was supposed to happen. Certainly not in a dark hospital room.
“Yeah, well, I’m impatient,” Noah said, grinning at him. “So marry me. Please.”
David’s heartbeat monitor went nuts. He waited for a punchline, for some kind of sarcastic joke.
“I’m being serious,” Noah said, reading his mind. “I love you, and I can’t imagine life without you, Jochmann. I should have asked you forever ago.”
“I’m supposed to ask you,” David said dumbly. “Besides, what if I forget this because of my concussion? That’s not fair.”
Noah laughed—David’s favorite sound in the world. Okay, second favorite. He liked Noah’s moaning better.
“Ask me, then,” Noah said, still smiling like a goddamn male model. He belonged on magazine covers. “I’ll make sure you don’t forget.”
David cleared his throat. His heartbeat monitor kicked into high gear, and he was certain the nurses would be coming any second if he didn’t calm down.
“I don’t have a ring for you, but you can take my hospital wristband or something,” David said. “I love you, and I think I always have, since I met you. I want you to be with me forever. So, will you marry me?”
“I will,” Noah said. “I abso-fucking-lutely will.”
They met in a passionate kiss. David coaxed Noah closer, parting his lips to allow Noah’s tongue inside. He dimly realized Noah might find a bunch of sand in his mouth, but he didn’t care.
Light bathed the room as the hallway door opened and a nurse rushed inside. Noah jerked away from him, squinting into the brightness.
“Sorry. He’s good. Just in love with me,” Noah said.
David blinked against the light to see the nurse put her hands on her hips. “Mr. Caparelli, I need you to get out of the bed, please. I thought you were coding, David.”
David was pretty sure his face couldn’t get any more red. “Sorry. We, um. I asked him to marry me.”
Noah snorted. “I asked first.”
David grinned as Noah kissed his cheek. “He did ask first, but I asked for real.”
“Hey,” Noah growled, nipping his earlobe.
The nurse didn’t seem to think any of that was very entertaining, though her eyes did twinkle. “Let’s focus on keeping David’s heart rate down, okay? He’s had enough excitement for one day, I think.”
David leaned into Noah’s warmth and looked up at him. “Yeah. Stop making my heart go crazy.”
“Sorry,” Noah said with a kiss to his nose. “I’ll tone it down.”
The nurse rolled her eyes and left after checking David’s vitals to make sure he wasn’t actually having a cardiac event. Noah didn’t leave his bed, and the nurse didn’t ask him to get out again.
When the door shut behind her, David let out a sigh. Noah feathered his lips at his neck, tickling him and sending an onslaught of serotonin through his whole body.
He tilted his head to get Noah to stop, then kissed him properly. Every life moment didn’t have to be a big thing. Marrying Noah was an inevitability since the second David kissed him for the first time, so it didn’t feel as life-changing as he’d expected to ask him for real. All he wanted was to make Noah happy, and he’d never seen Noah more carefree than when he visited him in Milan.
He gazed up at his boyfriend—no, fiancé—through his blonde-tipped lashes. A glimpse of this moment a few years ago would have had him losing his mind with excitement that Noah Caparelli loved him so much. They deserved a life together. One where they didn’t have to separate all the time for races and stupid teams.
“Let’s move to Italy,” David murmured into the dark.
Noah balked. “What?”
David knew full well that his career with Oxbow was over, even if they waited for his arm to heal. He didn’t want to go back to a team that hurt Noah and tried to ruin his career, or to a team that starved him and told him he was doing the right thing for the team. He had no idea what he was going to do with his life without Formula America, but it was time he stopped focusing on himself anyway. He’d find something to do, even if it was just being a father and fiancé.
“I don’t want to be part of Oxbow anymore. I don’t want to live in the US when my real family wants to be in Europe,” David said.
“I want to be wherever you are,” Noah said, shaking his head.
“We could be really happy in Milan. I was really happy when I was there with you, and I saw how happy you were. So let’s move there.”
Noah frowned. “Don’t give up racing, David. I don’t—”
“Milan is right by Monza, Noah,” David said. “I’m sure I can find something to do there, once I recover.”
Noah’s eyes flashed. “You really mean that?”
David nodded. “Yeah. I like European food better, anyway. I know I need to eat a lot of it to get healthy.”
He knew it would be an uphill battle to accept food as a regular part of life again. Yet he could see how different his body had become as he caressed the hollow of Noah’s throat with the backs of his fingers. His wrist was knobby, and the hospital band was on the last hole punch and was still all the way down his forearm.
He had an eating disorder. He hated admitting it, but he did.
Maybe Klaus had gotten his way after all. The David Jochmann who got in that car with him didn’t have to survive this. He could come out of it as a new person, one who supported his family in the right ways.
“We don’t have to do anything right now, but I want Europe with you,” David added. His right arm screamed in agony, but it didn’t hurt so much when Noah was beside him.
“Europe it is,” Noah said, and he kissed him. And, just like the first time their lips touched in the motorhome two years ago, the world felt new.