Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
This was getting out of hand. Zinnia needed to talk with Monty. At the outset of this party she’d figured they wouldn’t spend much time together to avoid giving the wrong impression.
But Tex had immediately blown her cover and Monty’s family was convinced they were a couple about to create a little family of three. Monty didn’t want that. She didn’t want that. Or so she told herself.
Falling in love and making a commitment to a guy she’d just met would be irresponsible even if she didn’t have Tex to consider. Throw that little sweetie into the mix and she’d be forsaking her duty as a mother.
She was clear on those points. She wasn’t clear on what Monty was thinking. He kept choosing paths that tightened the connection between him and Tex.
He’d figured out a way for Tex to sleep in the barn the night of the foaling. He’d set up the bucket routine so her son could be the first member of the family to interact with that baby.
Then today he’d been put out that Tex spent so much time with his brothers. He hadn’t said so, but she could tell from his expression. Just now he’d allowed Tex to unwrap all the birthday presents.
His decisions didn’t match his claim that he wasn’t ready to be a father figure. Then again, hers didn’t line up with her comments, either.
Knowing he had the hots for her, she’d still accepted his birthday party invitation. Now she was sleeping with him when she’d sworn to stay away from men until Tex was older. Way older.
As light faded from the sky, Tex started yawning. While he was distracted by Ezzie performing the cha-cha, she got her uncle aside. “We should think about leaving soon, before he gets overtired.”
“Gotcha. Let me ask when Cole’s doing the night version of the Beaver Bunch. It’s worth seeing, and we can leave right after.”
“Good plan.” As her uncle went in search of Cole, she scanned the group and spotted Monty. Ezzie was now teaching the cha-cha to Tex. She hurried over to Monty. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ve been meaning to talk to you. Let’s walk out toward the pasture. Nobody’s over there.”
“That works.”
When they were several yards from the crowd, he stopped. “This should do it. Are you fixing to take Tex home? I caught him yawning.”
“Yes, but I wanted to let you know that I…I don’t think we should keep seeing each other.”
“I don’t either.”
“Really?” She gazed at him. He’d had a great time last night. He had more self-control than she’d given him credit for. This would be easier than she’d thought. “Good. That’s good. We’re on the same page.”
“But I think we deserve one more night before we call it quits.”
That lit the fire that she’d kept subdued ever since arriving here. One more night. Then she thought of something. “Is this because you didn’t get to enjoy—”
“No, that’s not it.” He chuckled. “I forgot about that, but now that you mention it….”
“Cut it out. I don’t want to go back to the party all hot and bothered.”
“Too late for me. I’ve been hot and bothered ever since you suggested this talk.”
“That’s the main reason we have to stop seeing each other. Your family thinks we’re an item and it’s hard to deny it with a straight face when we’re having wild monkey sex every few nights.”
“They have a spidey sense when it comes to relationships. They can tell we’re into each other.”
“Well, we’ve gotta put a lid on it, for everyone’s sake.”
“Especially Tex’s.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I love that little guy, but if I’m not planning to become a significant part of his life, I need to back the hell off.”
“Wow. I was just going to tell you that. Thanks for figuring it out.”
“I realized today that if you and Tex pop over to the ranch now and then, he’ll get his cowboy fix through my brothers. Everyone took a shine to him. He doesn’t need me.”
The sadness in his voice tugged at her heart. “I doubt he’ll throw you over that quickly.”
“Oh, he won’t, but if I quit… I don’t know, just….”
“Looking for ways to make him happy?”
“Yeah, exactly. I love seeing his eyes light up. He’s such a cool kid, with his brownie-serving routine, and his Smokey Bear, and obsession with tape. Oh, my God, the tape! Do you buy it by the gross or what?”
“We go through quite a bit of tape.” Did Monty know he sounded like a proud father? A loving father?
But for some reason, he didn’t want that role. She had a hunch there was more to it than not being ready because he was only twenty-seven.
He took a quick breath. “Okay. I’ve made my pitch for spending one more night together, but I don’t recall you giving a thumbs-up or thumbs-down. Which is it?”
She stuck her hand in front of his face.
“Ah, Zinnia.” He wrapped his hands around her fist and kissed her upraised thumb. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but neither one of us wants to risk making a big mistake, especially with Tex involved.”
“That’s the crux of it.”
“Hey, lovebirds!” Rio called out. “We’re doing the Beaver Bunch thing in five minutes! Be there or be square!”
She giggled. “Be there or be square? Where did he learn that?”
“Auntie Kat. Those two are super close.” He squeezed her hand and let go. “He lives in her Swiss chalet and she has all sorts of fifties and sixties stuff on display in there. He left it up.”
“You live in your grandmother’s cottage. I’ll bet you’re super close with her.”
“I am. In fact, after what she’s seen tonight, I’ll bet she’ll pay me a visit tomorrow to find out what’s going on. Chances are she and my mom have already found a moment to discuss it. Grandma Doris is the logical one to grill me.”
“What are you going to tell her?”
“I’m not gonna spill the tea about the monkey sex, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I wasn’t. Well, maybe a little.”
“Even though she’s very open-minded, I don’t feel the need to talk about my sex life with her.
I will tell her that we have amazing chemistry, but I’m not ready for fatherhood and even if I were, you’re not crazy about committing to a man you barely know.
So we’re backing away before Tex gets any more invested. ”
“I couldn’t have said it better. I might steal that for when I talk to Uncle—”
“Hey, guys, not kidding! Get over here or you’ll miss it!”
He nudged back the brim of his hat. “We need to go.”
“We do.”
“See you tomorrow night.” He leaned in and gave her a butterfly kiss on the mouth.
The unexpected kiss immobilized her for a second and she had to walk fast to catch up with his long strides. “What was that?”
“I don’t know. I just had to.” He kept walking.
“Why?”
“I wanted to send a message. Couldn’t stay, though, or I would’ve done it again.”
“What message?”
“That I care about you.” He stared straight ahead. “That I want you to be happy. That I wish things were different.”
Those words ran on a loop in her head during the Beaver Bunch performance. They sat in the same place, and Monty let Tex climb up on his shoulders again so he could see better.
The show was even more magical at night. Footlights and beaver-sized red hanging lanterns made the knotty pine backdrop glow like warm honey.
The Beaver Bunch played two songs this time, tunes Cole had obviously geared toward Tex. First came Gene Autry’s Back in the Saddle Again followed by the Roy Rogers and Dale Evens’ classic Happy Trails.
Tex knew them both from watching old TV shows. Like last time, Rufus invited everyone to join in on the chorus. She swayed with the crowd, her shoulder moving in tandem with Monty’s, their hips nestled against each other.
She likely wouldn’t experience another moment like this. If the Bridgers operated like most families, Monty’s explanation to his grandma would make its way around until everyone had heard it.
He might get some questions, even pushback from his siblings, but if he stuck to the script, they’d probably drop the subject. The faux romance would be over. She and Tex wouldn’t repeat this cozy togetherness with Monty ever again.
It was for the best, but it made her sad. He’d said he wanted her to be happy. But clearly he didn’t see himself as part of that scenario. If he had, then maybe, over time….
But he’d been very clear. No point in dwelling on what could never be.