Chapter 8 #2
‘As you wish, my Queen.’ He stepped before me gown in hand, his eyes trailed each part of my body for a moment longer than was necessary, taking in my bare legs and the oversized shirt that just barely covered enough of my hips and my chest that was behind the thinnest of fabrics.
I raised my shirt over my head, careful to avoid my hair and all of its pins then stepped into the gown he was holding open for me.
He pulled it up and over my body, his fingers brushing against my bare skin as he circled to my back.
At this point, Viv stepped away, registering that she was now part of something she no longer wished to witness.
She closed the door of the room behind her a little too loudly in a show of frustration, but Visarous and I didn’t break away from each other.
He pulled the strings on the corset backing grabbing my waist to keep me steady.
His fingers pressed into my side, lingering there before he started to tie off the ribbons.
I stood there, staring at myself in the mirror.
The gown looked like lava pooling at my feet.
It hugged me in all the right places and made me look both intimidating and ethereal.
Visarous picked up my black leather and gold embellished longsword sheath, which I reserved for special occasions, and placed it over my head, buckling it along my back.
He slid my long sword through as I felt the coldness of the blade graze the nape of my neck.
The hair on my skin stood on end; we were on the sensual edge of something dangerous.
He knew he couldn’t win with words alone, so he tried to tempt me—tempt my body.
‘Crown,’ I said, breaking the tense and hypnotic silence as we both gazed at me through the mirror.
He smirked and moved to the base of my jewellery box, unlatching the bottom compartment.
Inside it was a golden crown of spires arranged in ascending order of height, with a blue stone at the center that matched the one in my sword and the flame that raged within my eyes.
It looked as though the center stone was made of liquid blue fire.
Visarous held it delicately in his white gloved hands, then stood behind me and placed it atop my head, his fingers trailing down my scalp to the base of my neck.
He leaned over my shoulder, holding my gaze in the mirror, and placed a light kiss on my cheek.
‘You are breathtaking, my Queen. Looking at you makes me want to shatter every last thread I have grasping onto my sanity and take you for my own, right here. Right now,’ he breathed into my ear, sending shudders up my spine.
My body involuntarily leaned into his as he closed his arms around my waist and pulled me tighter against him, not caring for the sword that stopped him from moulding himself around me so completely.
‘Tell me you want me,’ he whispered. I bit into my lower lip trying to regain some composure.
‘I want your body, Visarous—only your body,’ I said firmly, but seductively. I could see the pang of pain behind the thrill in his eyes.
‘I can work with that. I’ll give you every part of my body in any way you want it,’ he said so deeply that my thighs clenched with desire. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to ravage this man or if I wanted him to ravage me in that moment.
‘Can you handle being used by me, Visarous? Can you handle me wanting your body but not your mind? Can you handle me never feeling for you what you feel for me?’ I asked.
He paused for a moment to truly consider my words before he responded. ‘No. But I want it anyway. I want you. So use me.’ At least he was honest.
I shook my head; I couldn’t do this to him.
As I tried to push away, he turned me around, slammed my shoulders against the wall beside us and stepped right between my legs.
I could feel him pressing against me, hard and unyielding.
I felt my desire pool between my legs. I wanted to feel him plunge into me.
I pressed myself against him as he let out a soft groan.
I loved the sound of a man moaning beneath me, the power and the control was exhilarating.
I could have stopped him as I had last night but I was tired of denying myself simple pleasures.
I gave everything to everyone all of the time and now it was my turn to take what I wanted.
He rubbed his length against me, up and down over and over again until I dripped my arousal down my thigh.
I grabbed his hand and I pulled it through the slit in my dress and trailed his fingers up my thigh until he felt what he had done to my body.
His eyes were aflame as he flared his nostrils—a beast in heat and my body the prey.
I pulled his fingers back and held them between us; they glistened in the candlelight as I dripped down them.
Opening my mouth, I placed them on my tongue and sucked every last drop off.
He gripped his other hand into a fist and slammed it above my head.
‘Fuck Skylar, what are you doing to me,’ he seethed in lust-filled agony.
I was toying with him and he knew it. He bent his head down and rested it on my shoulder as he breathed through the pain of wanting me but not being able to have me fully.
His porcelain neck called to me, and I sunk my teeth into his flesh, biting him lightly enough that I couldn’t hurt him, but hard enough to send a thrill right through his body.
He moaned into me and I felt his body cave into mine slightly.
As I pulled back, my red lipstick left a mark on his pristine white collar, marking him as mine. I smirked.
A knock at the door broke us from our lust filled game of cat and mouse.
It was Viv telling us to hurry; the ball would be starting soon, and people were congregating in the great hall.
As I pulled away from Visarous, it dawned on me that I wanted to be wanted.
I didn’t want him; I just enjoyed being chased.
For most of my life, no one had wanted me for who I am; I was always wanted for what I could do for the people around me.
Even my mother didn’t have anything to do with me.
I could not form healthy relationships with those around me; I was incapable of love.
Perhaps if I indulged in Visarous, it would be the closest thing I could ever experience to those emotions.
However, that was not something I truly wanted.
It struck a deep, primal fear within me.
Love. It was a weakness. Loving those around me is what left me shattered by them or by those who tried to hurt them.
That is why I was cold and cruel and kept my distance from those around me.
I knew what Sienna said I needed, but I wasn’t ready.
Compartmentalising and showing no one the entirety of who I am felt safe.
Each of my friends and advisors, knew only one aspect of who I was—the person I was willing to show them.
I did not have it in me to love and lose again.
There was barely anything left holding this mangled heart together; one more break and it would likely kill me.
I took one last look at myself and plastered a mask of cold indifference on my face.
Visarous’s eyes shuttered at how easy it was for me to push away the moment between us as if it meant nothing—when, to him, it had meant everything.
Leaving the room, I walked towards the ball, with Viv and Visarous falling into step behind me.
We all had a role to play now that we were being watched.
I had to project strength this evening as I stepped into this den of wolves.
When we approached the arched doorways of the great hall, I saw Jade standing outside, the new Queen of Voldina.
She was slight in stature, with black hair and luminous green eyes, the same colour as her sister Raleigh.
As she laid eyes on me, I could see the intimidation she felt as she took in my presence.
‘Queen Jade,’ I said, inclining my head.
‘The world is a lot less bright without your sister in it. I know you and your people do not believe in spirit casting, but we will be honouring Raleigh at the Ascension of the Souls in the coming month. We would be honoured if you and your people joined us in paying tribute to your sister.’
A single tear streaked down her face. She wiped it away quickly as Viv and Visarous politely turned away.
It was unbecoming of a ruler to display such emotions in front of others, but I could see it in her eyes; she was grateful.
I was likely the only person here who would acknowledge her sister's death. Jade was a prisoner in her own lands while King Sebastian operated everything through proxies from his throne. Most of the people here tonight were allies of Morgad, so she would find no friends and no one who thought her sister’s death was a loss to this world within her own lands.
‘Thank you,’ she breathed. ‘I… I would be honoured to attend. Please, if you have any time tomorrow, I would love it if you could share some stories about my sister. Everyone around me has all but forgotten her and acts as though she never existed. I…I miss her. Please,’ she pleaded, almost desperate.
I nodded and said, ‘Of course, now go. They’re calling your name.’
The large wooden doors opened before us as a squire announced her title and name to introduce her to the hall filled with guests. She disappeared down the steps as Viv and Visarous began their descent not long after. They would not be summoned because they were not of royal blood or title.
Then it was my turn to step into the ballroom.