Chapter 30 #2
Her touch takes away the pain. What am I doing here?
My father is a cunt, that’s what I’m doing here.
How could I kill her? Especially after knowing she’s my Ruhi?
But I couldn’t tell him that. All he sees is a son that failed him, one who spoke out of turn at the Academy and questioned him in front of our enemy, one who should have killed the Queen who now sits in his dungeon.
How poetic, I hope she’s here to end it all for me.
Stepping back, I withdrew my hand as Demir whined at the loss of contact, likely flooded with pain once again.
‘P-P-Please…’ he begged, reaching out wanting to sooth the unfathomable pain he was in.
This was all my fault; something panged in my chest as that truth settled in me, but I couldn’t fall deeper into whatever this was.
Every moment with him since I discovered he was my Zauvek and his confession was a mistake. Distance is what we both needed.
‘You deserve every second of pain for all the pain you and your family have ever caused me. My wounds from your family run bone deep compared to the superficial wounds you now carry. Grow up, princeling,’ I said, retreating to the opposite corner, leaving him to writhe in pain throughout the night, forcing a physical distance as the walls inside me began to crumble under the weight of the bond.
The next morning, light shone through the front of the cell. The guards had lit some torches just outside, marking the change from the night shift to day. Demir was still asleep as I pulled myself up and went to relieve myself in the corner of the cell.
It wasn’t long before he began rousing from sleep, and as his eyes blinked open, he looked at me in confusion, taking in the small, dowdy figure and features of the peasant girl who sat across from him.
‘Wh-where is she?’ he asked through the dryness in his mouth. I tilted my head in confusion, playing as though I didn’t know what he was talking about.
‘Where is Queen Skylar?’ he asked a little more clearly this time as he tried to stand but failed, slumping back down against the stone wall.
‘It’s just me. You were talking in your sleep last night when they brought me in,’ I lied placatingly.
His eyes sharpened, not quite believing me; the dream likely felt all too real, but all he could do was believe what was in front of his eyes, not what he had heard in the dark while consumed with pain.
The lie was plausible, so he quickly dropped it.
I could see him clearly now—the filth that coated his skin, the cut across his supple lips and eyebrow from being beaten.
The way he barely moved his left arm as he cradled it, along with the blood on the soles of his bare feet, was unsettling.
There were green and purple bruises covering every inch of visible skin that rippled with muscles and his wrists showed raw friction marks from being bound.
They had tortured him for not killing me following the ball at the Academy and then further for how he questioned his own father during the peace talks.
Looking at him, the average person would have broken instantly under the onslaught of what they had done to him, but he appeared barely bothered beneath it all.
I was mildly impressed by his fortitude.
He likely had the same training as I did.
The same two guards from last night opened the cell door, and instead of treating their prince with any kind of respect or reverence, they took one look at him and laughed at the state he was in, smug in the knowledge that it was likely their own handiwork.
Something primal took over me as anger reared its familiar head; now I had two reasons to kill them.
Gods, what was wrong with me? Demir was unfazed, instead squaring his shoulders and spitting at their feet with what little strength he had regained overnight.
The larger guard who had all but eye-fucked me last night stormed towards Demir, backhanding him with such force that Demir’s face whipped to the side as a new cut broke across his cheek from the guard’s ring.
The second guard then joined in kicking Demir in the stomach.
Playing the innocent peasant girl, I flinched and scurried deeper into the corner, feigning fear.
Underneath I wanted to scream and bash their skulls against the wall until I saw brain matter seep to the floor.
I was on the verge of losing it. He was MINE.
Shock at the insane thought that took over me had me pressing myself harder against the wall, wishing I could melt through its cracks and get far away.
By the time the guards were done, Demir was in a pool of his own blood, unable to pull himself up to sit against the wall anymore. He groaned in pain as the guards laughed at their handiwork, before they turned their focus to the young girl in the room—me.
Both guards now looked at me with a dark hunger in their eyes, with the larger one licking his lips as he took in my fragile frame.
‘Come here, sweet thing,’ he beckoned. I remained firmly planted on the ground, continuing my charade of the scared little girl.
He stepped towards me and gripped me by my hair, dragging my body to the centre of the cell.
‘Care to tell us what you were doing at Prince Demir’s tower last night?
’ the first guard asked. Demir’s eyes snapped to attention at those words.
This is why they were questioning me in front of him.
They wanted to gauge his reactions to see if we knew each other.
His shocked and confused expression told them what they wanted to know.
‘I-I didn’t know, I was just trying to find some food. I had heard of the abundance within the castle walls. I was starving, please, I was desperate,’ I pleaded, shaking like a leaf for full effect.
‘Where did you enter from? Had you been looking for food, you would have passed the dining hall or the kitchens if you had entered through the main entrance. How did you find yourself at the entrance to the Prince’s tower without coming across any food if you came in through the front? ’ the bigger guard asked.
I was furious with myself for not having thought this part of the lie through better, but without hesitating, I dug myself further into the hole I had created and hoped for the best.
‘I snuck in during the day and I was scared, so I ran to the gardens and hid in the bushes. I fell asleep, and once I woke it was dark and I was disorientated; nothing looked the same. I had no idea where I was; the castle is so large,’ I said as I made tears well within my eyes to truly sell my fear.
‘Liar. How dumb do you think we are? People do not just come in off the streets to steal food from our kitchens and find themselves in one of the more heavily guarded sections of the castle without ulterior motives. Who are you to the Prince? Are you his whore?’ the second guard asked.
The fact that they thought two guards meant heavily guarded was almost comical.
‘No! I’m telling you the truth. I am a virgin! How dare you question my modesty!’ I shrilled in mock horror.
The second guard’s nostrils flared as he licked his lips.
‘Virgin, hey? Perhaps we can change that for you darling.’ He stepped towards me, pulling at my ankles before he pushed me flat against the floor and climbed on top of me.
His body pressed against mine as he buried his nose in my neck, inhaling deeply.
My skin crawled, and something within me screamed with wrongness.
On the other side of the cell where Demir had been, a scuffle broke out, but I couldn’t focus on anything other than the guards’ grimy fingers that tore at what remained of my dress, touching my bare thighs and breasts.
I screamed and struggled, playing the weak and fragile thing that had no strength to fight back.
If I wanted to use my real strength, I would have to seep back into my original form, which had muscle mass and had been trained for years to become a finely tuned weapon—but that would give me away.
I reminded myself that I was safe, that I was me not the girl I was playing and this wouldn’t last. The hulking guard looked at me, laughing at my naked and vulnerable form.
‘Take the day to think about your story. When I come back tonight, if you’re not singing another tune, you’ll be screaming through the pain of your hymen breaking.’
I curled in on myself and shook as though I were on the edge of sobbing before the cell door closed behind them.
But there was a small tendril of fear that was real in that moment as images of Zoe’s face flashed through my mind and what those pigs had done to her.
She was broken so completely that she didn’t see the value in living a single day longer after they used her.
Demir had somehow fought through the pain of his injuries to sit beside me. Just as he reached out to touch my hand, I pulled back
‘Don’t!’ I yelled, but it was too late as his skin brushed mine.
He felt it. I could see it in his eyes.
‘Skylar?’