Chapter 13 #2
I needed to get my head in the game, but the moment my foot hit the sand, Sapphire's eyes flashed through my mind.
The memory from the cemetery was: that wild stare, their depths filled with a wound I couldn't fathom—the glassy veneer that threatened to spill over and expose her from the inside out.
I couldn't shake the ache that had bloomed in my chest the moment she told me to leave. Like she had meant it . . . but not.
Not seeing her this morning gnawed at me. I was in such a rush I hadn’t had the time to look for her properly. I couldn’t lie to myself . . . I was worried.
Noah came in high, feinting, and I parried out of habit. A grin stole across his face. He pressed the attack, but my counter was sloppy, too heavy.
Shadows of the market stalls.
Blue hair.
The way I’d scanned every crowd for her.
All of it swarmed in my head.
With a grunt, Noah lunged. I thrust my blade to block him, but it was too fast, too hard. Steel rang, and his sword spun out of his grip. My follow-through clipped his forearm—deep enough to send him reeling.
He hissed through his teeth, clutching the sleeve of his torn shirt. The fabric blossomed crimson under his hand. “By the light Nik. You trying to cut me in half?”
It was a serious question, but the smile he offered me told me he was fine.
I’d cut him.
My breath snagged. The sound around me dulled into a hollow hum. Never had my blade ever met a fellow Lightner's skin. Cold spread from my chest outward, locking my limbs. I couldn’t seem to blink, or look away.
“I—” The words stuck. My throat was dry. “I’m so sorry. I wasn’t—”
Noah shrugged with a grin. “It’s fine, brother. Nothing a bandage can’t fix.”
A few heads turned our way, and from over Noah’s shoulder I saw Captain Gild approaching, her amber eyes fixed on me. She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t need to. “With me.”
My feet hesitated while I decided whether to follow my superior or attend to Noah. The decision was made for me when Noah flicked his head towards the captain. “Go, I’ll be fine.”
With shaky hands, I retrieved my sword. “I’m so sorry, Noah.”
I stepped out of the ring and followed Captain Gild into her office. Small, clean and heavy with the scent of whatever perfume she wore. Something floral mixed with citrus.
She offered me a chair by her desk. It creaked as it accommodated my weight. Running a hand through my hair, I sighed. She eased into the velvet chair opposite of her dark wood desk.
“You’ve been distracted.” Her tone was measured, not accusing—yet.
I dropped my head into my hands, running it over my skin. “I’m fine.”
Her brow arched. “You nearly opened Noah’s arm to the bone. That’s not fine.”
The memory of my blade slicing through skin returned, and I grimaced, my gaze dropping to the floorboards. “I’ve . . . had my mind on other things.”
“That much is obvious. I don’t pry into personal matters, Nikolas, but when it starts affecting your sword arm, it becomes my concern.”
“I understand completely.”
“Should I be concerned?”
Slowly, I shook my head, bringing my gaze back up. “I can still do my duty.”
“I don’t doubt that. But if you’re going to lead squads into The Grey, I need you to be one hundred percent with us.” She leaned forwards slightly. “What is it that’s pulling your focus?”
For a moment I considered lying. What was I supposed to tell her? That I was following a woman around District Five because the king asked me too? No, there was no use not telling the truth. It always had a way of making itself known anyway.
With a gentle sigh, I answered. “Someone I care for. They need help and I don’t know how to give it to them.”
Gild nodded softly. “Then find a way to do it that doesn’t affect your ability to serve in this army, or it will drag you under. And I don’t want to watch one of my best Lightners drown.”
I nodded once. “Understood.”
“Good. Dismissed.”
Back in the yard, I headed for the arch way that led out of the compound. I’d have to figure out how to handle both my duty as a Lightner and the king's mission before I hurt someone else. Perhaps I’d go for a run once I was home—or go fishing. Hadn’t done any of that lately either.
The flight back into The Grey wasn’t pleasant. How was I supposed to balance it all and not drown in the process? Bitter winds snatched at my cloak, pulling me towards the marketplace of District Five. Would I find her there?
At the last minute I banked right, headed for the Silver Finch. I’d check her room again, before looking in other obvious places.
The atmosphere was different than it had been that morning—colder, despite the sun’s height. Gloom clung to the air like an unspoken truth.
Men littered the streets like cigarette butts discarded after use. They hid in corners of murky shadows, only revealing themselves when they made their way up the wooden steps to the place that would bring them a fleeting moment of pleasure.
It was colder today, remnants of snow still evident on the cobblestone alleyways. It clung to the metal gutters on rooftops, and formed in slush piles at the edges of porches and roads. I couldn’t remember the last time it snowed in The Grey.
Without landing, I hovered by Sapphire’s window. It was still empty. No golden oil lantern gleaned on her dresser, no bed cover unturned. It was as if she hadn’t been in her room all day.
Movement by her doorway grabbed my attention. A woman, bobbed brown hair, blue eyes rimmed red, hovered near the bed, her hand resting on the wooden frame. My brow pinched when I noticed the tear spill down her cheek.
The small act settled around me in a cloud of doom. Something in my stomach twisted. Why was she crying?
I shook my head, trying to empty all my thoughts. I needed to find Sapphire. I pushed my wings down, projecting me into the skies, surging for the marketplace and apothecary. Surely she was there.
As I flew above District Five, a tangible orange glow melted over the tops of the slate roofs dripping down the sides like sticky honey. If only the temperature matched the warm colour the setting sun offered.
There was no point searching for her in the skies. I needed boots on the ground. I needed to reveal myself and start asking questions.
My leather soles hit the crumbled ground of a quiet alleyway.
I dropped my glamour and stepped into the crowd.
The streets pressed in around me, a living breathing snarl of Shadowkin voices and clattering footsteps.
Down here, I was just another man in the rabble. No one to notice, no one to suspect.
I threaded through the clamour of bodies, making my way to the other side of the marketplace, where I slipped down a side street until the chipped green shutters of the apothecary came into view.
Sapphire had been here before. I’d seen her slip in—a smile adorning her face so big it stretched from ear to ear.
Here was the only place I’d ever seen her smile like that.
The cold brass of the door handle bit my hand as I pushed it open, stepping inside.
Instantly, the keen scent of spices, herbs, and foreign liquids hit me in the face.
It was like an entire garden was growing inside the four wooden walls of the building.
The woman behind the counter barely looked up. She reached behind her, gathering a jar of dried herbs. “Can I help you?”
I strode to the counter, displaying my most friendly smile. “I’m looking for someone. Her name is Sapphire. Blue hair.”
Slowly, she shook her head. “Don‘t know her. Meeka’s the only one who knows all the regulars, but she’s on personal leave. Won’t be back for a week, maybe more.”
The words landed like stones in my gut. I didn’t linger—her eyes were already drifting back to the mortar and pestle in her hands. So I thanked her and left, returning to the icy streets.
I glanced around outside the apothecary in the hopes that I would find her and all would be well. And to my dismay—nothing.
The cemetery was next. I shoved my hands into my trouser pockets and moved away from the herbalist.
Cold air bit at my face as I weaved among the leaning headstones, scanning for a shock of blue hair, for any sign of her. Nothing. Just the faint whistle of the wind between stone markers and the crunch of gravel as I walked.
Frustration clawed at my ribs. There was every possible chance that she’d packed her things and fled this desolate place. I wouldn’t blame her. There is only so much one soul can carry before they snap under the weight of life.
I turned towards the city, each step heavier than the last. If she wasn’t at the herbalist, or the cemetery, then—
My head whipped around, eyes searching the edges of the marketplace shrouded in shadows. The street kids. I found them hunched in their usual alley, gnawing on crusts of bread, eyes darting like startled sparrows.
“She used to bring you food,” I said. “Have you seen her?”
They shook their heads in unison, too wary to ask questions.
By the time I’d worked my way through two taverns, the ache behind my eyes had turned into a steady throb. In each one, my questions were met with blank stares, muttered excuses, or the kind of laughter that said I wouldn’t get a straight answer.
No one had seen her.
A serpent of fear coiled in my gut. I stood under the setting sun running my hands through my hair, twisting on my heel in search of her.
The temperature was dropping with every second.
It was highly likely it would snow again.
I had to find her. But how? Every blue smudge my eye caught hold of wasn’t her.
With a sigh, I dropped my arms by my side. I’d have to go back to the Silver Finch, but this time I’d have to go inside and actually talk to the sods that dwelt there—like Egghead.
~~~~~
Raucous laughter and the sound of a whiney—yet bodacious—fiddle spilt from the Silver Finch and out onto the damp cobblestone. I stepped out of the shadows and made my way to the front door, taking in a deep breath before pushing it open.