Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
The book of names
nik
I didn’t realise how quickly I’d flown from The Grey to the Lucius gates until I was bouldering my way through them, not even bothering to flash my amulet to the guards on duty.
The pulsing drum in my ears pounded as loud now as it had the moment the cook told me Sapphire was dead. There was no point even trying to form a cohesive thought. I just had to get to the book of names. It would tell me where she’d chosen to live in Lucius and I could go to her.
Beg her forgiveness. Or at least try.
Fingernails bit into my palms. The skin stung—raw from where I’d been clenching my fists. No doubt scabs would form later.
I moved towards the city, my feet carrying me as fast as they could without running.
Crowds of Lightners laughed through the streets, joy bouncing off the sides of brick or stone homes.
Usually I would join in with their merriment, but time was of the essence.
Every moment felt like hours stretching into months.
Wings of all colours—amethyst, rose, marigold, periwinkle, and peridot—caught the setting sun as I wove my way through the bustling bodies of Lightners, each feather shimmering like a precious jewel.
I’d reached the line for the podium that held the book of names. I craned my neck to glimpse the end—to the place I ached to reach—-but a wall of bodies separated me from the book.
Frustration clawed at me, grazing over my skin with its razor sharp teeth. I couldn't do it. I couldn't sit any longer with the feeling of not knowing where she was. So I stepped out of the line and made my way down to the front end.
A woman with pale pink hair down to her waist greeted me. “Sir, the line starts around the bend.”
Her iridescent wings glimmered as she gestured over my shoulder. I didn’t have the patience to tell her that I’d just come from there, so I pulled out my amulet and held it up in front of me. “I really need to see the book of names.”
The woman’s eyes widened. I wasn’t royalty but those who served in the Light King’s army were treated with respect and honour. I didn’t like to use it to gain privileges over others, but if I was ever going to, now was the time.
“Of course, S–Sir,” she stammered, before she ushered me up the three small steps of the podium.
The arbour of wisteria swayed in the Lucius breeze, their blossoms trailing like violet curtains around the open podium.
Beneath it lay the Book of Names, heavy and endless, each page shimmering faintly with lives reclaimed from The Grey.
The air was thick with hushed voices and shuffling feet—Lightners waiting in line behind me, some eager to find themselves etched in ink, others desperate to confirm their loved ones had made it across.
I planted both hands on the podium and leaned forwards. My chest was a knot of anger and panic, guilt threading through every shallow breath. She’d be here. She had to be here.
The pages whispered as I turned them, one after another, to find the section labelled ‘S’ as the listings went by first name. So she had to be under Sapphire . . . right?
Faces bloomed from the parchment—eyes bright, mouths caught in smiles. Their names gleamed, neat and whole, with favourite flowers, songs, meals, even the places they now called home in Lucius. Lives rewritten in light.
I made it all the way to the end of the Lightners named Sapphire, but none of them are the blue-haired woman I’d come to care for.
My throat tightened as I forced myself to keep going, my fingers digging into the fragile edges. Page after page, and still no Sapphire. Each absence hollowed me out further. The murmur of the crowd pressed at my back, impatient, but I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t accept it.
“Come on,” I muttered, voice cracking as though I could conjure her name by sheer will. My pulse roared in my ears. My vision blurred. I slammed the book closed, then tore it open again, desperate, as if a different page might hold the truth I needed.
Nothing.
I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. Perhaps her birth name was different? I never thought to even ask, and now there was no way to find out.
The weight of her absent name crushed me. She wasn’t here. She should have been—every soul passed through, every name was written—but hers was missing, and the meaning of that absence tore through me like teeth.
I struck the podium with my fist, the crack echoing through the arbour, and heads turned in the line. I heard the audible gasp of the pink-haired woman beside me. I didn’t care.
I’d failed Sapphire.
The wisteria swayed above me, sweet on the air, but it only made the bitterness burn deeper. With no mention of her in the Book of Names. It meant only one thing.
Sapphire was in Oscuro.
The world tilted to the side, hanging on by a thread, before it righted itself once again. I didn’t even feel my boots carrying me back down the stairs into the open streets of Lucius. The thud in my ears turned to a ping. A pulsing ring that threatened to send my body crumpling to the ground.
Sapphire was in Oscuro.
Realisation rolled over and over in my mind, the words a slight whisper on my tongue.
How was this even possible?
A loud bell rang across the sky, and hundreds of Lightners cheered in unison, chanting May the light guide you.
And keep you. I wanted to join in. A Shadowkin, in The Grey, had just chosen Lucius as their forever home once they departed from their life.
Yet the sound of celebration just drove the stake in my heart even deeper.
Sapphire was in Oscuro.
Pain shot through my chest like hot knives slicing through muscle and tendon. It was so intense I stumbled and then caught my balance, gripping the corner of a stone building.
A few Lightners glanced my way, concern evident on their faces, so I offered them a weak smile before moving on. I needed to get out of here, yet where would I go? If guilt and shame didn’t weigh me down so heavily I’d be wise to go straight to the king.
But I was riddled with emotions, so I wouldn’t.
I stumbled down the street until I was clear from the crowds, and then pushed off the ground, shooting into the sky.
There had to be some way I could find Sapphire in Oscuro and bring her back. And I knew exactly who could help me.
~~~~~
The sky was a blanket of inky black when I arrived at Adalia’s in record time, lungs burning, wings aching from the flight. I barely remembered the journey—only the gnawing panic that had driven me the whole way.
I landed on the path outside the log cabin in the woods. Pale grey smoke curled from the brick chimney, a clear sign that somebody was home. I didn’t even bother to knock.
The door wooshed as I flung it open and my eyes locked on Adalia and Matthias sitting at the dinner table. It was that time of the evening after all.
Both their heads swivelled towards me as Bones leapt up with an excited bark. Matthias was up and out of his chair before I even blinked, ready to fight off the surprise intruder, no doubt. Adalia sat there, mouth half open, fork mid air and spaghetti still wrapped around the iron prongs.
“Nik?” she murmured in disbelief.
My chest heaved in and out as air finally caught up with my lungs. “We have a problem.”
Adalia dropped her fork and sprung out of her chair, moss-brown eyes wide with confusion. “What’s happened?”
I couldn’t stand still. My boots dragged across the floor as I paced, raking both hands through my hair, tugging at the roots like it might rip the madness out of me. “Sapphire . . . she’s—she’s dead.” The words tore free, raw and hollow.
Adalia gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. Colour leaked from their faces. I could only stand there, hands on my hips and speechless.
Matthias stepped around the table, his dinner abandoned. “How do you know? What happened?”
The memories surged like stomach acid. I started pacing again. “I looked for her in The Grey and she wasn’t there. Then the cook from the brothel told me she was murdered."
Adalia gasped again.
“So I raced to the book. I went to the Book of Names under the wisteria. I searched every page, every name, every face—and she wasn’t there. She should have been there, Adalia.” My voice quavered.
She took a few steps towards me, reaching for one of my hands to squeeze tight.
I looked down at her, dread coiling low in my gut.
“That can only mean one thing.” My voice cracked, too loud in her quiet house.
“She’s in Oscuro. And the worst part? The night it happened was the one damn night I didn’t go see her.
The one night I let myself stay away. By the light, I left her alone. ”
Guilt choked me, heavy, smothering.
Adalia’s eyes softened, brimming with a sorrow that didn’t belong to her but that she carried all the same. She touched my arm, grounding me. “Nik, I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t know what to do.” I shook my head. “Should I have gone straight to the king?”
The thought had crossed my mind, but I’d been determined to give her space, I thought it was what she needed. And now she was paying the price for my actions.
Matthias moved from the table to stand beside Adalia. “What do you need us to do?”
I looked at him dead in the eyes and told him the honest truth. “I need to go to Oscuro and bring her back.”
Adalia squeezed my arm tighter. “Nik . . . I understand you feel responsible, but what’s so special about this girl that you’d risk Oscuro for her?”
My throat tightened again, but not from panic this time.
“I can’t explain it. She . . . she shines.
Even when people treated her like she was worth nothing, she was kind.
She gave pieces of herself she couldn’t afford to give.
And still she kept on. That kind of hope—it’s brighter than anything I’ve ever seen. I can’t let Oscuro take it from her.”
“I don’t want to ask the questions, but I must . . . what if she chose Oscuro, Nik? If she did when she was younger, the choice has already been made?”
I shook my head again. “I don’t know, but something in my gut tells me that I have to go to her. She belongs in the light . . . I just know it. Besides, the king wouldn’t have asked me to watch over her for no reason?”
Adalia nodded, though I could see the worry shadowing her eyes as she looked up at Matthias. “I would have gone into Oscuro and back a thousand times to bring this beast home if I had to. I won’t keep you from doing the same.”
Matthias offered my sister a boyish grin, and then kissed the top of her head. Their love rolled off them in waves. It was infectious. I loved it for them, but it made guilt slice through my heart even deeper.
Adalia turned her attention back to me. “But you need to make a plan. You can’t just waltz into Oscuro. There are rules, boundaries, protections. You’ll need to be smart about this.”
I nodded, clenching my jaw. Planning wasn’t my greatest strength. I wanted to tear down the gates of Oscuro with my bare hands. But she was right. I’d be no good to Sapphire if the Thorns found me on their side of the Veil.
Matthias’s voice cut through the silence, steady and firm. “If you’re going in there, I’m coming with you.”
I looked at him, feeling a small amount of worry ease from my shoulders.
It was a known rule between the light and dark kingdom that we don’t cross between Veils.
That was the reason I was a Lightner soldier.
To keep the Thorns in Oscuro and The Grey free from their filth.
But Matthias was living proof that even someone not meant for the dark could live peacefully in the light.
Adalia didn’t even argue. She just nodded in his direction. “I wouldn’t expect anything less. But before you do anything, talk to the king.
I hesitated. “Do you think he’d even allow it?”
Adalia didn’t miss a beat. “If anyone can make him understand, it’s you.”
Matthias nodded. “And if he sees what’s at stake, he won’t stand in your way.”
“You’ll need a coin if you want to give her a choice. It’s the only way she can leave Oscuro.”
I swallowed hard, my chest still tight, but steadier now. “I’ll beg him if I have to.”
A coin. A plan. Begging. Whatever it took.
Because I was getting her out.