Chapter 26
Chapter Twenty-Six
The colour of kindness
sapphire
The room spun.
Nik said something, but his voice was muffled, sounding far away. I tried to focus, watching his lips move as he spoke.
Meeka isn’t dead? She’s still alive . . . in The Grey?
“I have to go to her.” It came out raw, almost a gasp, and I took a step towards him.
Nik straightened, lifting a hand—not to stop me, but to steady the moment. “Sapphire, you can’t.”
My breath stuttered. “What do you mean I can’t?”
“You’re not part of that world anymore,” he said, voice careful, like every word was a blade he didn’t want to wound me with.
The tears came before I could fight them. Hot, humiliating, furious.
“My best friend thinks I’m dead. She’s alone. She—she saw me die.” I choked, wiping the tears away with the back of my wrist, hating how weak I sounded.
Nik’s eyes softened, but there was a wall behind them I couldn’t break. “If there was a way for you to go, I would take you.”
Promises. Always promises. Pretty words shaped like cages.
My heart wanted to believe him. Maybe a small part of it did, but really, promises meant nothing to me. No one ever kept them, and I knew better than to let a ridiculously handsome male offer one to me now.
“Why can you go but I can’t?”
“Because I’m a soldier in the Light King’s army. I wear an amulet that allows me to travel to and from Lucius. And with my ranking, I have . . . certain privileges.”
Silence wrapped around me. Thick. Heavy. The thought of Meeka grieving my death split my chest right down the centre . . . cracking my ribs open wide for the birds to pick at. My wings pulled around me tighter, like they wanted to keep me from falling apart.
I lifted my gaze. “So, I will never see her again?”
He shook his head. “You can’t go back to her. But if she chooses Lucius, she can come forwards to you—in her time, not yours. She would see your name in the book and know to find you.”
His words were meant to offer me some sort of soothing balm for my raw, open wound, but all I felt was the stinging pain of knowing that my name wasn’t in the book. The light would never accept me as I am. How would I ever see Meeka again?
I blinked. “But only if I choose to stay here, right?”
He nodded once, his eyes lighting up. “All you need to do is put your coin in the well at the temple and declare Lucius as your home.”
I almost laughed out loud. Not because he was humouring me, but because he truly believed that I could ever belong to a place as pure as this. And all it would take is a coin and a confession.
The sooner I paid my debt to Nik—the clothes, the food, the warm bed, taking me from Oscuro—and left, the better it would be for everyone.
Even if he couldn’t take me to see Meeka, I would find a way to get there myself. I was sure of it. I nodded once to appease him, and Nik stepped out of the doorway. “Would you like to rest, or can I make you a tea?”
“Tea . . . please,” I managed to reply.
Even though my body was sore and tired, I was sick of sitting down. No matter what position I was in, my back ached from the weight of my wings.
I followed Nik into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
He busied himself with the kettle while I looked around the room, then back at the table, noting the book laying to my left.
Another one about fishing. He didn’t strike me as the kind of man who could stand still long enough to catch anything.
Before long, Nik placed a steaming cup of tea down in front of me, then sat opposite with his own cup. I watched the steam curl up in a cloudy dance, vanishing into the air. “Thank you.”
I took a sip and let the hot liquid warm me from the inside. Almost instantly, I felt better. I flicked my gaze to Nik. He was watching me, but I had to admit that whenever I caught him doing it, I never felt frightened.
“Tell me about Meeka,” he asked, his voice soft. No push, no demand. Just an opening.
The cup was warm under my hand as I gripped it tighter. It was hard to talk about parts of me with a stranger, even if he wasn’t so unfamiliar.
“She’s everything good The Grey tried to steal from folk.” I traced a crack in the wooden surface of the table with my fingertip, searching for words. “She was always there for me. If I ever need a place to go, I could count on her. Always tried to make me laugh.”
He nodded, listening.
“And now I’ve left her with memories no one should ever have to live with.” The last few words trailed out in a whisper. Thoughts of Meeka grieving me or sobbing over a grave were vivid in my mind, enough to bring a wave of fresh tears that I forced down with a healthy sip of tea.
Nik shifted in the chair, leaning forwards on his elbows. “Would you like to talk about that night?”
I shook my head but the words tumbled out anyway, like they were on the tip of my tongue waiting for someone to ask. “It was freezing,” I said finally, my voice thin. “Meeka and I had gone to the night markets. We went together every year.”
He didn’t move, didn’t even blink. Just waited.
“It happened down one of the alleys,” I went on, the words scraping out of me. “We didn’t see him coming. One minute it was just the bitter winds, the next—” I swallowed hard. “Hands. Too strong to fight off. I tried, we both did.”
The room seemed smaller now, the air heavy.
I pressed a trembling hand to my ribs as though I could still feel the bruises there, closing my eyes against the phantom pain.
“He threw Meeka against the wall. I thought—” The memory hit me like a blade.
“I thought he killed her. I didn’t see her get up again. ”
Nik’s jaw tightened. His fingers curled slowly into fists on the table, knuckles blanching white.
He spoke softly, but there was a tremor beneath it. “Do you know who it was?”
I hesitated. Would it make a difference to the heaviness that took up residence in my chest to speak his name aloud? My throat burned with his name before it even left my lips. “Rhodes. Kavish’s nephew.”
Nik’s eyes locked on me. “The owner of the Silver Finch?”
“He killed Lily too, one of the girls.”
Saying her name again hurt, and for a heartbeat there was nothing but silence at the table. In the quiet I wondered if Lily was here, somewhere close by. She could even be on this very street.
I finished my tea. Nik’s chair creaked faintly as he leaned back, his shoulders rigid, muscles in his jaw twitching. He looked away, breathing heavily through his nose.
He finally looked back at me. “I’m so sorry he took your life, Sapphire.”
My name rolled off his tongue like it was sacred. If only he knew the filth attached to it. Perhaps then he wouldn’t say it with such endearment.
I shrugged. “I was never meant to have dreams.”
He gripped the cup tighter, to the point I thought it might shatter. “I—”
“It doesn’t matter now,” I rasped, pushing the cup away from me wanting to change the subject. My gaze found him across the table. “If I wanted to find someone here, how would I do that?”
He hesitated but only for a second. “There’s a book of names at each of the gates into Lucius. If who you are looking for is here, that will tell you where they live.”
I nodded and scratched my finger on the table surface.
“Did you want to see if you could find Lily?” Nik continued.
How he knew what I was thinking was beyond me, but before I could answer, the sound of a door closing downstairs carried through the air. I froze, locking my gaze onto Nik. His shoulders dropped as he eased out of the chair. “It’s just Adalia and Matthias.”
A small part of panic slipped away, but my heart still stayed in my throat as footsteps sounded up the stairs. Lilac wings appeared, then the smiling face of the woman in the picture. Matthias was right behind her.
I wasn’t prepared for how bright she would be. She swept up the stairs like sunlight spilling over a meadow. In her arms she carried baskets of food, and fabric. The scent of baked bread and herbs followed her, filling every corner of Nik’s quiet house.
“Hello, Sapphire.” She set her things down on the kitchen counter. Her voice was pretty, musical almost. “I’m Adalia, and this Matthias.”
Matthias offered me a smile and dipped his head in greeting. Brief memories of the blue-winged man surfaced. In the haze of that day I remembered seeing him alongside Nik. Now that I could see him clearer, he really did have quite the collection of tattoos marking his forearms and neck.
I rose from the table, awkwardly smiling at them. “Hello.”
Nik glanced at me, then back to his sister. “Thanks for coming.”
Adalia grinned as she began to unpack her baskets. Loaves of bread, jars of condiments, trays of baked goods. It was a feast all on its own. My breath caught when I saw her pull some clothes out next. “I wasn’t sure what you liked to wear so I brought you a selection.”
Slowly, I moved towards the counter as she held out a handful of items. I didn’t know how to accept such generosity. All my life I’ve had to survive on whatever I could produce from my own pocket. “Thank you.” The words stumbled out as my fingers brushed over pearl coloured silk.
Adalia’s meadow eyes bloomed with joy. “You’re probably desperate to clean up too. I doubt my goose of a brother thought to offer you a bath.”
“Hey,” Nik protested. “I was going to once you brought her something to actually change into.”
I stood, transfixed by their sibling banter. Even as they teased, their faces held so much light and happiness. It was a foreign concept to me. Usually banter like that at the Silver Finch ended in a fist fight.
Matthias moved into the kitchen to get a cup from the cupboard. “You’re probably scaring Sapphire.”
I tried to offer him a grateful smile.
Nik turned back to face me. “Ada is right though. I’m sorry I hadn’t mentioned it yet.”
I shook my head lightly. “It’s fine.”
He ran a hand through his copper waves. “Well, the bathroom is just down there, and you’ll find a fresh towel and some soap on the counter.”