Chapter Twenty-Seven. When You Have to Save a Boy … Again #3
Cara’s nose wrinkles in disgust, but she stays silent.
“He’s the worst, but he’s a good racer,” I congratulate myself on thinking fast—conveying I hate Murphy but have a grudging respect. That’s sellable, right? “You’re probably wanting to talk to him. I’m sure you’ll be able to after the ceremony.”
Cara interrupts then. “No, she wants to talk to you, to us.”
Willa lifts her chin. “She’s right. I’ve come to convince you to try out for the Revers racing team.”
“I’m sorry, what?” I must have misheard. I’ve only flown across fields, diving off cliffs when I was particularly daring. Never have I competed. My records only show my spotter training and most of spotting is standing still, waiting for something bad to happen, not flying toward victory.
Willa continues. “If you don’t feel like trying out, I could probably convince my colleagues to give you a spot right now. You graduate in a year, correct?”
“Yes.”
“Great. I’m creating an all-women’s rider team at Revers.
And the races will revolve around obstacles, speed timings, and relays.
We’re trying to push for a new style of racing that showcases a Sprinter’s power and maneuverability without relying on metal and violence.
I’m actually writing my thesis on how dragon bonding and thus crafting ability could increase with the use of these types of—” Willa stops. “Sorry, rambling.”
“Doesn’t that sound amazing?” Cara’s vibrating with so much excitement she’s practically jumping in place. “It’s what we always talked about.”
Our dream. A long-ago dream I’ve already abandoned. “It does.” Racing, flying without bashed in jaws or shredded wings. It sounds too good to be true.
“So, you’ll join my team? As you can probably surmise, Miss Moore is in.”
“Why … why would you want me?” My voice is filled with so much disbelief I’m sure my question comes off as rude.
She laughs. “Because I’ve seen what you can do.” Then she steps forward. “I know you’ve applied for the all-around scholarship. I can offer you one too. Full ride. You just have to commit to my team.”
Cara squeezes my arm, wanting me to join in her congratulatory cheer.
The opportunity rings in my ear. Full scholarship.
She’s saying I could go to Revers on a full scholarship.
I just … have to race. Which maybe I could learn.
Maybe I could make racing better. Joining an all-women’s team already sounds better.
Then Nity pops into my mind, a blaze of gold.
Zilar, Electrum, and Oria curled up next to her.
Racing requires metal testing, reregistering year after year to keep up your standing since dragon riding is how most bond and thus advance their crafting.
In the all-around scholarship I could conceal my real ability, request to only be tested up to copper.
In racing I couldn’t. I couldn’t hide. I couldn’t protect the ones I love.
I’m already doing such a poor job in protecting them.
Flying around saving awful boys and running after caring ones I’m supposed to hate.
I know my answer.
Willa’s blue eyes eagerly await my response.
She reminds me of Shelly, supportive, encouraging.
I’m only going to disappoint her. I glance at Cara.
And I’m going to do more than disappoint my friend.
Pain and confusion crease her forehead. I can read her like a book.
Why are you hesitating? the look screams.
“I’ll think about it,” is all I get out, my throat scratchy.
Willa smiles. “That’s all I ask.”
When I turn, Cara follows, a shadow at my back. “You’re going to reject it, aren’t you?”
I whip around after a hundred feet, after escaping any audience. “Yes.”
She shakes her head. “Why!” Cara tried so hard to encourage me when her family first started advancing. So many If I can do it, so can yous and Come over and fly my new Sprinters. But I think you can only disappoint someone so much before that disappointment turns to resentment.
When I don’t answer, Cara shakes her head, a braid falling in front of her face. “Don’t keep pushing me away.”
I backstep, creating space. “I’m not pushing.”
She grabs my arm. “You’re right, you’re running. You’ve just … given up and I have no idea why. So why, Farren? Why have you stopped fighting to improve your crafting?”
I am fighting. Fighting the invisible, fighting for the unseen, to keep it that way.
“I’m just not as good as you,” I lie.
“Bullshit. You’re the one who pushed me to be better.”
“I’m happy for you. Happy for all you accomplished.” The image of flying with Cara, training with her shoots through my mind. I want to accept Willa’s offer so badly it hurts. It’s taking everything I have to reject it.
“You’re happy? And what about me? What if I’m not happy? What if I want my friend back?”
“I … I don’t know what to say.”
She stands there long enough for me to see how I’ve hurt her. Then she turns. “I think that says enough, Farren.” As she walks back to the crowd, I shuffle in the opposite direction alone, wiping tears away as I go.